Say Hello to the Broken-Hearted (18 page)

After five minutes her expression descended from a
bright reassuring smile to a low heart crushing disappointment.

“Doctor Brown turned and caught her eyes. Her face was still dead and hollow.

“You must tell me.” Karla demanded, on rising to an upright posture.

“I am sorry Karla…”

“What-what are you sorry for?” Karla questioned in a fearful shivery tone. “Is something wrong with my baby?”

Doctor Brown hesitated
as she listened for his heart rate. If she wasn’t duty-bound she would have told her a lie, but that would only make it worst.

“Karla,” She pointed to the monitor, “
That image right there is the baby, you see it?”

“Yes, that’s very clear.”

“Ok, in that little area of the baby’s upper body, we are supposed to see a heartbeat, but unfortunately there is none. I get no pulse when I used my stethoscope as well…I am sorry, your baby is dead.”

“No-No-No!”
She uttered as she shook her head. N-O!!” This can’t be happening!!”

For
an emotional girl that cries so very often Karla Steelburg had never cried so hard. When it rains it pours.

“But why!
WHY! What could have caused this?”

“See based on what I have analyzed, the walls of your uterus have been damaged. The most likely reason for that is as a result of the surgical dilation and
curettages--the abortion. As it is now, your uterus is incompetent and cannot sustain a child. However, there is good news, we can remove the baby and do a repair operation. After which, there would be pretty good chances of you having a child again.”

“Oh God!
This can’t be happening.” She yelled boisterously, “How am I going to explain this to John? What should I do doctor?”

“I think worrying about your fiancé is the least of your problems. He should understand. Apart from that I am recommending that you schedule
an operation to remove the baby as soon as possible, then seek counseling, you seem to need it whether you agree or not. For now I suggest you go home and get some rest, do you understand what I am saying to you?”

Karla nodded. The sobbing was too much to be otherwise verbal.

“Once again I am sorry, I truly am.” Doctor Brown sympathized with a warm well needed embrace.

“Thank you for everything.” Karla whispered.

“No--there is nothing to be thankful for.”

Karla nodded and managed a
smirk, she grabbed her hand bag, turned and strolled to the door. She met Sara on her way out, grabbed the meds without saying a word. She just walked out.

Chapter 25

      “What
do you do when you are at a place far away from home, and you are about to go under as the clouds turn grey and the tides grow rough, while all hope fades as no one cares to extend a helping hand? I’ll tell you what you do. Suck it up. Suck it up, find yourself a poker face and play the cards you’ve got. Stop waiting around for it. You get in the game and strike the iron while it’s hot.”

       
After a long hard contemplation, the impulse drove him to go back to the corner store on Deerock and Goshen Road. His mind was decided.

“
I have to provide for my family. This is the only avenue I have at this point in time. Forgive me Lord for the path that I am about to take, but you of all people should understand--I am just another victim of circumstances…Amen.”

“Hey Ice! How is it going man?” John greeted with a handshake.

“Hey my brother!
I am doing good, could be better. I have to give thanks for what I have though. How about you, how are you holding up?”

“To be honest with you, so far things haven’t been turning out the way I planned it. Right now I am face down in the dirt
, and by the looks of things it will only get worst… what I am saying is, I need your help.”

“You need my help?” Ice asked skeptically.

“Yeah, remember that offer you made me? I feel like taking you up on it, God’s speed.” John assured him.

“Are you sure about this John? Do you understand what you are
getting yourself into? This is no love story, it’s no make belief. This is the life of the streets, it’s as real as it’s going to get. Just so you know, anything can happen at any given point, and if something does happen. I don’t know you, and you damn sure don’t know me. Do I make myself clear?”

John held a stead
y stare, “Yeah I understand perfectly.” He nodded.

“Alright then.”
Ice agreed.

“
Let’s do this!” John edged.

“Hold on, first you have to lose the hat, get a tom, it would be a better look for you. Ke
ep the shades--the shades are bad. Also lose the Timberlands, get a light weight sneakers.”

“Is this a fashion show or what?” John obliviously asked.

“Trust me. Do as I tell you. Meet me back here at six Pm sharp. I’ll show you how to sell this shit like clockwork.”

“Alright bro, I hear you. See you later then.” John affirmed.

“Yeah see you…”

John
Steelburg arrived at the door of his apartment. Suddenly he became taken aback by the sound of a woman heavily crying on the other side.

“What could be possibly wrong this time?” John asked himself over the sound of his pounding heart against his chest.

Without further hesitation he opened the door to find her lying on the carpet with her face covered in snot and tears.

“Karla! Oh my God! What happened?” John rushed to h
er aid and placed her to sit upright.

The veins in her eyes were thick red and her eye
lids were badly swollen. She had been crying non-stop.

“What-
what is going on Karla? I don’t understand.” John begged for answers.

She said n
othing for another five minutes. She just sat there staring at him with her head against her knees as she drowned in a dense lake of sorrow.

“John baby,” She finally opened, “I had
a horrific visit to the doctor today.”

“What happened
hun?” John asked, he grew terrified by the minute.

“I had two black-
outs in the doctor’s office. I don’t know, I guess I haven’t really recovered from the whole abortion fiasco and the man in white. The steel utensils and everything else just aggravated all those memories I managed to suppress until now…I am scared John.”

“Oh baby, I am sorry.” John held her head against his chest.
She needed the comfort so bad, “If I knew I would have gone with you.”

“That’s ok,
I’ll survive, and “She knuckled up and slowly punched the sky, “I am a strong woman.”

“Yes you are, but I
don’t want you to feel like you are going through this alone…you know you have a friend--me. I will always be here for you, no matter how tough it gets and that’s my words as the man, the man that loves you, un-equiv-o-cally.”

“Unequivocally huh
?”

“Oh
yes!”

“You know
what’s funny John, since we have been here, I don’t feel like we are cousins anymore. We are lovers and that’s all what matters.”

“Oh yeah, I know what you mean. All the drama of us being relatives is behind us. Now we
can overcome anything, as long as we stick together.”

Karla took a deep si
gh of relief and relaxed, but it didn’t last.

“John there is something else.” She felt the need to let it go once and for all.

“There is more?” John suddenly became skeptic.

“Yes there is more.” She forced
.

John braced backwards and looked at her with a curious eye. “Is there something you haven’t told me?”

“Yes there is. I should have told you from the get-go, but somehow I couldn’t find the courage to.”

“Just spit it out for Christ sake.” John promptly ordered.

“Promise me you will not hate me when I tell you this.” Karla pleaded. The insecurity was perturbing. She had no clue how he would react.

John frowned at her with a direct gesture. “I am afraid I cannot do that.” She almost
caught a blood clot, the words were as glazers.

Karla sighed and proceeded anyway. She couldn’t control how he would react but figured the redemption would bring some amount of solace.
“John-I-was…raped, at the age of fifteen…”

“Hold on-wait-what?” John baffled.

She nodded her head. “What you heard was exactly what I said.”

“You must have lost your fucking mind at the doctor’s office. That’s unbelievable!” John still struggled to come to terms with the fact that she was raped. He was a pretty co
mposed guy in character but that seems to have ruffled his feathers.

“So let me get this straight. You have never
found it necessary to tell me this until now?’

She nodded her head.

“Why!” He demanded answers.

“John I have tried to tell you. Day and nigh
t it plagued my mind, but I didn’t know how to--please, you have to believe me.”

“That’s all bullshit Karla
! John snapped, “You and I have been through so much, I accepted you for who you are! You should have told me this from day one Karla!”

“John
please!” Karla begged as she reached out to touch him.

“Keep your hands off me!” He
shrugged her off and stood to his feet, “Don’t come near me!” He sharply stated and walked to the door. From the corner of his eyes he saw her bleeding but the pitiful gesture didn’t faze him one bit.

“I am starting to feel like I
can’t trust you anymore Karla… I believe I have made a mistake.” John Steelburg said his piece and left with a slam of the door behind him.

Chapter 26

Very
often in life a man has to battle with his egotistic nature and what is conventionally right. You may choose to turn back and take the easy way out as long as you still have time, or you may pause for a minute and deeply acknowledge the man that you have become. You often times realize that the aspirations are too high, so you look down on your tired feet and worn out slippers, which only serve as a staunch reminder that the road is indeed rough. However, a true man picks his baggage up, puts his shoulders to the wheel and strives all the way through, even if the dream never turns into a reality.

Six P
m.

“So you are here…are you ready?” Ice asked John as he walked up to the pavement of the corner store.

“I am here, and I am not turning back.” John affirmed.

“Good,
let’s go inside.” Ice ordered and led him into the store where they walked through the door that said “Employees only.” There were lockers on the side of the wall and a table with chairs at the center. The fifty watt bulb on the side of the wall dimmed slowly at intervals.

“Have a seat.” Ice told him as he opened locker seven. From it he took out a black plastic bag and
laid it on the table. “I am going to start you off selling weed.” He untied the bag and the scent diffused into the air.

“
Damn! That’s some potent stuff.” John added.

“This here is the
bestseller on the streets right now. With this you are going to make a name for yourself. Then we can get you in the big league, where the big money is at.”
         “That’s where I want to be.” John blurted.

       
“Be patient, only a matter of time.” Ice assured as he packaged two different portions of the potent cannabis. “See this, this you sell for ten dollars and this you will sell for twenty. If someone wants to buy a hundred dollars worth, you sell them five of this, understand?
 

“Yeah, that’s easy mathematics.
Nothing to it.”

“Good, that’s what I like to hear. By the way, you are getting my spot outside. If you need more,
it’s in locker number seven. I’ll let the store manager know you are our new guy.”

“
Right, is there anything else?” John asked. He seemed anxious to cut his duck.

“Yeah, there is one more thing.” Ice went into locker eight and took out a loaded
point three eight caliber handgun.