Say Hello to the Broken-Hearted (20 page)

“I know, I know.” John sighed, “I felt like I needed to be a man you know, provide for us. With all the expenses, and my son growing inside of you, I had no choice baby.”

Karla stood back with her sweaty hands clasped as her jittery eyes failed to maintain a steady stare. The shocking guilt consumed her.

“Oh God no!
What have I done?” She thought.

“Baby, are you ok, is something wrong?” John asked as he noticed her sudden fidgety disposition.

“John there is something I have to tell you.” She gave out.

“Yeah, what is it baby?” John puzzled.

Karla looked behind her and realized that Calvin was standing only a few feet away.

“On second thought
, can you wait until we get home?”

“Yeah sure, no problem.
It can’t be that serious.” John assumed despite his obliviousness.

“Hey! You are not in pain are you?” Calvin walked up and intervened.

“Nahh, I am fine. It was no great ordeal.” John affirmed.

“Well good to know you didn’t drop the soap.” Calvin jeered.

“No bro, they had liquid soap.” John laughed.

“Yeah, you got away easy this time, next time you might not be so fortunate.” Calvin alluded to the careless predicament that John had gotten involved in.

“Hey sweetie can you wait in the car? Give us a minute please.”

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“Thanks, we will be right there…”

“Now on to you Calvin.
I shouldn’t have gotten you involved with this. Man to man, I apologize.”

“
It’s already done. However, on a serious note. I don’t know what you are into lately, but I damn sure don’t want to have any part in it. You understand me John?”

John nodded, “Yeah I understand-
-perfectly. It won’t happen again Calvin, trust me.”

“Ok, I believe you
.”

“Thanks Calvin, I sure appreciate it.” John expressed.

“One thing though John, I have to ask--why?”

“Why?” John sighed and asked rhetorically, “Why , because I lov
e Karla with all my heart, why--because I made a promise never to turn my back on her--ever, and if those are not reasons enough, she is carrying my son inside of her, they mean everything to me Calvin, everything.”

“Even if it means losing your life John?”
Calvin asked faintly.

“There is no point Calvin” John assured
, “There is no point in living if it’s not living for them, not anymore.”

“Oh…
I see…” Calvin fringed.

“Yeah,
that’s right.”

“Well John, I am
going to be honest with you. As your friend I am supposed to be able to tell you this.” Calvin established, “I think that this is an epic fiasco.” He placed his hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes, “I can’t quite put my fingers on it yet, but I deeply believe you are making the worst mistake of your life.” John returned the focus to his eyes. He said nothing. After all he had heard it all before. Just another lip service drumming his ears, that’s all.

“Come on,
let’s go home.” Calvin ordered and they departed the station.

Chapter 28

John
and Karla Steelburg arrived at their apartment later that day. The couple was very relieved that the incredulous tribulation was behind them for good. In between them stood a renewed sense of hope for their future together. However, it’s unfortunate not everything hoped for will come to past.

W
ithout much hesitance John went into the kitchen and attained an ice cold bottle of Heineken. He consumed the first half of the beer with the buoyant carbonic acid in a single gulp. His body craved for any substance that could make him unwind at God’s speed. The attempted shot-gun swallow of the beer did just that.

John braced against the door
post of the kitchen and the hall as the liquid quenched his thirst and the alcohol seeped into his blood stream. “Do you need anything to drink baby?”

John asked Karla who was laid face down on the couch apparently still in a high tensed mood.

“A bottle of the strongest liquor you have will do.” Karla replied on a wimp.

“What! You
can’t drink alcohol, have you lost your mind!” John frantically shouted at her.

She instantly sat with an upright posture,
the first look on her face said, ‘Fuck’ with triple exclamation marks. After which guilt clouded the sky grey.

“Enough of the lies-this
can’t go on any further.” She thought.

“John
remember I told you I have something to tell you?” She commenced.

“Yes what is it?” John asked promptly.

“You might want to sit down for this one.” She encouraged and watched him drank another quarter of the beer, “And put away the alcohol.”

“No, I am fine, just let it all out.”

“Ok, if you insist, she took a deep breath as she maintained a high-pitched focus with him, “John…The baby…IS DEAD.”

As she said those words his heart palpitated and between seconds of a throbbing pulse the bottle escaped from his hand. The pieces of glass
shattered across the floor. At that instance everything crashed.

“What did you just say?” John wanted to make sure.

“You heard right.” Karla affirmed his obscurity.

John was just short of having a coronary thrombosis. The alcohol did a good job of preemptively soothing his nerves.

John folded his arms across his chest and stepped closer towards her, “Tell me, what caused my baby to die, and do NOT lie to me.” John demanded with a stern voice.

“John I know you are upset, you have the right to be, but you are starting to scare me.”

“Answer the question.” John persisted.

“My uterus is scarred. The doctor said I am unable to carry a baby unless I have surgery. I didn’t know this John,
it’s not my fault.”

“I don’t want to hear that Karla, I damn sure don’t.”

“What do you want me to do John!” Karla screamed.

John shook his head. He was cognizant that nothing could possibly be
done. His first and only son was dead. There was no replacing him, there was no consolation for the pain that he had started to feel. The essence of life was fading. The petals of the rose were drying away.

“When did you find out that my son is dead?” John asked.

“The very same day when you forced me to go see the doctor.”

“Are you fucking serious!” John snapped.

“I wanted to tell you John, but I was afraid…”

“Afraid of what!”

Karla stood, walked around the couch towards him, “With the way you reacted when I told you I was raped, I was afraid you would leave me John. I didn’t want to risk it.”

“Yeah and
what makes you think I won’t leave you right here, right now?”

She didn’t have an answer. The possibility of
him walking out of her life had dawn on her for a while, and now her worst fears have become fulfilled prophecy.

“Right, you don’t have an answer.” John affirmed, “That simply means
it’s time for me to go.” John turned and started walking to the door.

“John! Please…” Karla desperately called.

“No! No!” John turned around, approached her and pointed his finger to her face, “Come to think of it, my mother, Calvin and everyone else was right. I am the only one that didn’t see it. You are the worst mistake of my life! The absolute worst!” John shook his head in downright distaste, “You-you are such a BITCH.”

The tears started descending from her eyes. The fragile piece of glass in her chest just shattered into unrecoverable splinters. Her entire world was falling apart. Her legs grew weak as a tectonic shift erupt the ground beneath her.

“That’s all you ever where Karla, just a bitch of a cousin I fool heartedly fell in love with--I am over you.”

John declared, turned away from her and walked through the door.
Perhaps this time for good. After words so bitter, one wouldn’t expect to find love still residing within these walls.

John Steelburg arrived at the address Calvin had given him in case he needed to find him. It was a huge white two stories brick house with red and white flowers covering the patio from the base of the house to the root of the fence made of metal with sharp edges.

Without knowing for sure if it was the correct place, he w
ent through the gate, walked onto the porch and rang the doorbell twice. Two minutes later a beautiful middle age Indian woman opened the door in a multi-colored sari dress which descended to her feet. She was apparently surprised to find a complete stranger on her doorsteps, which didn’t appear to be a missionary or carry a Watch Tower magazine.

“Hello, may I help you?” She asked.

“Hi, I am looking for Calvin Peterson, he said I could find him here if needs be.”

“Calvin is my son,” She replied and asked with risen eyebrows, “And who are you Mr.?”

“I am Calvin’s friend, John--the Jamaican.”

“
Ohhh…so you are John Steelburg!” She delighted.

“Yes M
am…”

“Calvin mentioned about you a couple of times.
It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“
It’s nice to meet you too Mrs. Peterson. John managed to be cordial despite his deep state of melancholy.

“Well come on in, Calvin is upstairs in his room,
I’ll go get him for you.”

“Actual
ly I wasn’t planning on staying. I just wanted to talk with him, could you tell him I am down here, please.”

“Sure,
I’ll do that, just a minute.”

“Thank you kindly.”

“You’re welcome and by the way, congrats on your engagement and the baby.”

John nodded his
head and afforded a bogus smile under the gloominess of his eyes.

As the red and white carnation poised an enchantment, his mind
swayed into the reminiscence of the euphoria of when they first caressed each other’s lips and the day when he went down on bended knees to worship Karla Steelburg as his queen. He could still vividly see the joy it brought to her soul. The laughter and sweet serenity she displayed that night still warms his heart, even now.

“Hey John!”
The voice from behind him called.

He turned around and Calvin saw that his eyes were watery.

“What’s going on John?” Calvin asked.

“My son is dead Calvin.” John shook his head
and inhaled deeply, “Junior is dead.”

“What?” Calvin bewildered in disbelief, “I don’t understand.”

“It turns out that you were right. Karla is the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

“Hold on, slow down John. Take a minute and explain to me what exactly happened.”

After we left the police station and arrived home. Karla decided to open up to me. I guess she felt guilty about me getting locked up. She told me the baby had been dead for a couple of weeks now. She found out when she last visited the doctor. Her womb is not able to carry a child because of an abortion she had.”

“Oh God, you
can’t be serious!”

John nodded his head, “I couldn’t believe it myself. It provoked the seven demons inside of me. I got so upset you wouldn’t even imagine. I even called her a bitch.”

“Hold on, you called her what?” Calvin shockingly asked.

“Yeah, I called her a bitch, that’s all she ever was.”
     “Oh, no you didn’t!” Calvin exclaimed.

John shrugged his shoulders, “
It’s over between me and her Calvin. I really don’t care--not anymore.”

“Look my friend. I am going to tell you plain and straight. You are wrong!” Calvin stressed, “You are dead wrong.”

“Calvin, she lied to me, she has been dishonest throughout the entire relationship, you don’t know the half of it.”

“John, I may not know the full story but based on what you told me; her father’s death, the suffering she went through, being raped at a tender
age, having an abortion and now her baby is dead, and to make matters worse, you called her a bitch and walked out of her life…think about it. You have just completely destroyed that girl’s life. Only the grace of the mother of God can keep her from killing herself.”