Scandal (Tainted #1) (28 page)

Sebastian might have had to smother the urge to whack him with the racket more than once, but he’d managed to keep things friendly.

Since then, there’d been no more warnings from Alicia, and he was actually starting to be on better terms with her father, which – for some reason he couldn’t understand – was what she seemed to want. Probably a waste of time considering they’d be over in a few weeks, but he was sick of losing all the time. Plus, she’d been through the ringer enough for one lifetime, she didn’t need his animosity against her parent making life harder for her.

‘There they are.’

Blair’s voice took on a sissy-sounding purr whenever he spoke of his fiancée and at first, Sebastian had teased him. The fact that the guy didn’t care at all who knew how he felt about his woman made Sebastian respect him more. He also had to admit he’d been wrong the day before about their relationship being reserved. Blair was just playing the game for Mr Simpson’s benefit so he could be with his daughter.

Which begged the question whether that’s what he was doing with Alicia. She was grounded, beautiful, and the chemistry between them only sizzled hotter as the weeks went on. Unlike other women he’d been with before and after his split, she didn’t want him for whatever he could buy her. She wanted
him
, pure and simple. Without any of the fuss.

Pity that’s not all he wanted from her. In another life, she’d have been the woman he could come home to. But he wasn’t blessed with a nine-to-five and Alicia wasn’t built for a life of traveling. She’d want to be independent, not live off of his winnings – not that he’d mind sharing.

He looked in the direction Blair did and his breath caught in his throat. Alicia and her sisters walked into the room together, Daria in a dazzling red gown, Sylvia in a short, icy blue dress, and Alicia wearing a bottle green silk gown that hugged every curve but still remained classy. Her hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders and though all three were blonde, she was the only one who made his heart beat faster just by being there.

Blair elbowed him. ‘And you called me a sissy for going gaga over my girl. Might want to pick your chin up off the floor, Collins.’

A hard knot formed in his stomach as the three approached. She wasn’t his girl, never could or would be. He’d known all along, but the reminder that he’d have to give her up in a few short weeks made his mood plummet.

‘You scrub up well.’ Alicia came in for a kiss, but he took her hand instead and brushed a kiss on the top, earning a frown from her.

He leaned close and whispered in his ear. ‘We can save the rest for a private venue.’

She smiled. ‘Look at you acting all chivalrous.’

He shrugged. ‘I can pull it off when I want to. Plus, the society journalists are here tonight and I’m supposed to be a reformed gigolo, remember?’

Alicia rolled her eyes. ‘They shouldn’t believe everything they read in the newspapers.’

‘You did,’ he reminded her.

A blush highlighted her cheekbones. ‘I regret that now.’

‘Come on, let’s dance. And not a repeat of last week. Your father might shoot me with his hunting gun if there aren’t a good five inches between us.’ He winked, trying to lighten the conversation and the glum mood he’d been in.

She took his hand and he led her across the dance floor where other couples had already gathered. He didn’t know anyone and suspected they were all part of England’s elite social circle – like the people he’d endured at that horrible party she’d dragged him to. The second he’d walked into the room he’d been faced with scornful looks and hushed voices gossiping. Didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

‘My father wouldn’t shoot you. He may not like you too much, but he’s not
that
bad.’ She placed a hand on his shoulders, the other in his waiting palm.

Maybe, but he wasn’t so sure. If the guy could force his sixteen year old daughter to kill her child, who knew what he was capable of. He judged the distance between their bodies and led her in a slow waltz, hoping he remembered some of the steps in the ten years since his mother had sent him to lessons.

‘You never did tell me how your father found out about you and the boy,’ he said, pretending to sound blasé about the whole thing but anger was just bubbling beneath the surface.

Alicia tensed and smoothed her expression. ‘I’ve no idea. Can we just drop it for tonight? I don’t want to relive that part of my life.’

He knew it was hard, and he didn’t want to go into the details or make her relive any of it. If he could he’d take the awful memories from her, but if Alicia was being as careful as they’d been sneaking around behind her father’s back, how could he have known?

‘We don’t have to go there. I just don’t understand why you’re not curious about how he found out. Isn’t that part of your job – to find out how people get hold of information?’

She chewed on her lip.

‘Alicia –’

‘You’re hardly forthcoming about everything. You keep your feelings, hopes, and dreams to yourself, so stop pushing me for information.’

He wanted to wipe away the sheen of moisture away from her eyes, but didn’t want to draw attention to her. Manoeuvring her around the dance floor, he had to agree she was right. He hadn’t told her much about him – not his past. Not his hopes for the future.

‘I did break Mai’s boyfriend’s nose,’ he admitted. ‘But not for the reason they printed.’

Her eyes widened and her plum-coloured lips parted. She was too beautiful and he just wanted to enjoy her. But Alicia was right. Though she’d researched him, he’d never been forthcoming with anything personal.

‘After Wimbledon, she threw me out. I went back a week later to see if I could make things right and he was there. In my bed. With Mai.’

‘Sebastian, I’m so sorry.’

He shrugged, trying to focus on the steps and not the pity shining from her eyes. ‘Don’t be, I’m over it and probably deserved it. She wasn’t the person I was supposed to be with and I can see that now. It was just easier at the time. We both seemed to want the same things, but not many women could put up with a man who can’t function for weeks on end because they have to train so hard. Nor should they have to.’

Chapter Twenty-one

Alicia could see now why he’d opted for variety over another relationship, and her hope that they could be more didn’t seem as shiny as it did that afternoon. He had commitment issues, which she thought she understood, only now her perspective had shifted. It wasn’t Sebastian who was incapable of staying in a relationship.

He couldn’t see why a woman would want to stay.

‘Sex shouldn’t be all that’s important, though,’ she mumbled.

They may have started out as a sex-only deal, but they’d both grown closer this past week and would get closer still. She had to believe that.

‘If it was I wouldn’t have been living like a nun for the last few years.’ She hoped the hint got through to him.

Sebastian shook his head. ‘It’s not just that. Some games are mentally draining. A few days this week I haven’t been able to hold a conversation and the press conference,’ he made a face, ‘Well, it didn’t go great, did it?’

She shook her head. An urgency to prove him wrong, to change his outlook, made her heart gallop. This felt like her chance to make him see not every woman was like his ex, but when she tried, the song changed. He took her hand and led her to the bar.

Alicia didn’t get much alone time with him after that. It seemed everyone, even the journalists, wanted to speak to the ‘it’ couple and she felt bad for stealing Daria’s thunder. From the conversation with her sisters earlier today, she knew Daria would probably be grateful. She’d been on the dance floor with Blair for hours, showing no sign of wanting to let her fiancé go. Alicia wished she could have that with the man next to her, not conversing with a magazine reporter. She zoned out of the conversation until the words ‘wedding bells’ snapped her focus back.

‘What?’ she asked.

Sebastian laughed and rubbed a reassuring thumb across the back of her hand.

‘We’ve just started dating,’ he answered, then looked down at Alicia and winked. ‘But anything’s possible.’

Her heart took off full speed while adrenaline fizzed through her veins. She was pretty sure her hands were shaking too and the butterflies in her stomach felt more like mutated insects. She needed to calm down. He was only playing to the press – his wink had said it all. But for a moment, underneath the shock, she’d wanted him to be telling the truth.

She managed to hold it together through the rest of the informal interview, sipping the champagne in her hand instead of swallowing the fizzy liquid in one go. What she really needed was something stronger, something with more bite, but her father wouldn’t serve anything less than the good stuff.

As soon as they were out of earshot from the reporter, Alicia said, ‘I need some air.’

Without waiting for him to reply, she tugged her hand free and made her way to the balcony overlooking the gardens. The water features were all lit up with white and the gold and ivory roses her mother had ordered in the thousands were placed in bouquets all over the place, making tonight feel like a wedding. She shuddered to think what they’d do on the big day.

She shuddered to think what she’d do, showing up single after the public humiliation she’d put her father’s name through by dating Sebastian.

‘There you are.’

He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her back so she was resting against his chest. She should move away, having Sebastian touch her and hold her was becoming too addictive and there were too many variables working against them. Not least his view on relationships. Her eyes pricked and she was glad she had her back to him.

‘Wanna tell me why you ran away?’ His breath stirred her hair.

No, she really didn’t. But all this lying – to him, her boss, and parents – was going to give her an ulcer if it hadn’t already. It was time to be honest, with him at least. She couldn’t go through weeks of this if he was just going to walk away at the end of it. Could she?

She swallowed and kept her back to him. It was easier when he couldn’t see her face, when she couldn’t see the pity in his expression. ‘Things have changed for me. I’ve changed.’

He squeezed her tighter. ‘I know, but there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re amazing, Alicia.’

Her vision blurred. ‘Thanks, but that’s not just what I mean. I … care about you. I’m not sure you and I can keep doing this.’

She swallowed back the lump in her throat, but knew she couldn’t hold herself together for long – the weekend had been a rollercoaster of emotions. Sebastian released her, then turned her around. She hoped the tears had gone, she didn’t want him to know she was crying over him.

He cupped her face and ran his thumbs under her eyes, swiping away the traitor moisture. ‘Blondie, I care about you too, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up anything. We only have a few weeks, why not make the most of them?’

Maybe she’d not been clear enough. The extent of how
much
she cared about him didn’t come through in her words, but his offer was tempting. Too tempting, and exactly what she wanted. She couldn’t go back to pretending there was nothing between them. It would surely hurt more than staying with him until he left for France.

Alicia sucked in a breath and then let it out. ‘You’re right, I just didn’t want you to go on thinking I don’t.’

Chicken.
That’s what she was. The biggest coward ever. But this couldn’t be the end. She didn’t want it to be. And more time together might have the opposite effect. She might get sick of him always dumping his clothes where he stripped, or pissed off that he always left the toilet seat up.

‘I know you do, and I hope you believe I feel the same.’

She saw the truth in his eyes, and that damn hope got all bright and sparkly. ‘I do.’

‘Good.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘How early do you think we can escape from this party?’

Alicia forced the last of her doubts away and grinned. ‘Half an hour, tops.’

Taking her hand, he led her through the patio doors and back into the house. ‘Enough time for another whirl on the dance floor.’

She followed, the uncomfortable buzz in her stomach a constant nag whether this was the right thing to do. It didn’t matter, because she was on the road to a broken heart either way and she couldn’t seem to turn back.

‘He seems to have wormed his way into Mother’s affections,’ Sylvia said, handing her a glass of champagne.

Alicia’s heart gave out a painful throb as she watched Sebastian whirl Juliette around the dance floor. It was odd to see her mother smile, odder to see the two getting along after what her father had uncovered.

It really did seem like there was no woman on the planet Sebastian couldn’t charm.

‘I think I’m falling for him, Sylvia.’ It wasn’t the whole truth, she was probably already head over heels but she wasn’t ready to admit that yet. Not even to herself.

‘Then it will work out.’ Her youngest sister sounded sure.

Pity she wasn’t. ‘There’s so much working against us: Father, the drama with Mai, and to top it off, he doesn’t believe he’s worth it for the long haul. He thinks women are better off without him in their life.’

‘So show him how important he is. Do something that makes him see you really are in it for ever. You said you wanted to travel, here’s your chance, Licia.’

She’d thought about starting up on her own, hadn’t she, just that morning? So why were her palms damp and her heart humming just thinking about handing in her notice? Alicia shuddered. ‘Still, Father and Mai …’

Sylvia’s glare had her trailing off. ‘You can’t keep letting him hold you back. And as for the skinny peroxide skank, she shouldn’t even rank as being someone who keeps you from being happy. She’s in the past, a blip, and the press will get bored of her when the next scandal comes along.’

She blew out a breath, then took a larger-than-necessary gulp of the bubbly liquid. Her head was already feeling fuzzy and Sylvia’s words were starting to ring true – or did she just have a few too many drinks? Alicia couldn’t be sure and she wasn’t about to do anything rash until she was certain.