Secrets of a Career Girl (3 page)

CHAPTER THREE

P
ENNY
PARKED
HER
car and took a couple of moments to sort out her make-up and hair. She wondered, not for the first time, how she was going to get through this. It was eight a.m. and she had just come from having a blood test and vaginal ultrasound. If the results were as expected, she would be starting her injections this evening.

She collected her handbag and the little cool bag holding the medication and told herself that lots of women worked while they went through this.

And she told herself something else, something she had decided last night—at the very first opportunity she would apologise properly to Ethan. Penny had come up with a plan. She wouldn’t tell him everything, just explain to him that she was on some medication and that yesterday she hadn’t felt very well. If he probed, she might hint that it was a feminine issue.

Her lips twitched into a smile as she pictured Ethan’s reaction—that would soon silence him.

Walking towards Emergency, Penny saw a dark blue car pull up in the entrance bay, where the ambulances did, and she watched as a security guard walked towards it to warn the occupants that they couldn’t park there.

Except the woman wasn’t parking her car.

Instead, she was dropping Ethan Lewis off.

Penny tried not to look as they shared a brief embrace and then a thoroughly seedy-looking Ethan climbed out. He was unshaven and unkempt, dressed in yesterday’s rumpled scrubs. She tried to turn her attention away from him, but her gaze went straight to the car he had just come from. And it was then that Penny felt it—the red-hot poker that jabbed into her stomach as she glanced at the woman, a red-hot poker that temporarily nudged aside her loudly ticking biological clock. And at six minutes past eight and a few months later than most women at Peninsula Hospital, Penny realised that Ethan Lewis really was an incredibly sexy man and it wasn’t a hot flash that was causing her to blush as they walked into the department together.

‘Ethan.’ She tried to keep to the script she had planned. ‘I was wondering if I could speak to you about yesterday. I realise that I—’

‘Just leave it.’ He completely dismissed her, so much so that he strode ahead of her and into the male changing rooms.

Charming!

Ethan ignored her all day and Penny decided that she wasn’t about to try apologising again.

She took her lunch break in her office, waiting for the IVF nurse to ring, which she did right on time. Penny took a deep breath as she found out that, as expected, she was to start her injections that evening, which meant she needed to call Jasmine.

‘I’m on till six,’ Penny said. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to get away early.’

‘Penny, when do you ever get away early? It’s not a problem, I’ll come and give it to you at work, but Jed won’t be home so I’ll have to bring Simon in.’

Penny grimaced. She did not want to make a fool of herself in front of her nephew as it would terrify him. Simon, like his mother, was very sensitive. Still, there was no choice.

There really wasn’t time to worry about her upcoming jab. The department was busy enough to keep her mind off it and she smiled when she saw her next patient, an eight-week-old named Daniel.

‘He’s had a bit of a cold,’ Laura, the mother, explained. ‘I took him to my doctor yesterday and he said that he didn’t have a temperature and his chest sounded fine. I’ve been putting drops up his nose to help with feeding,’ Laura continued. ‘But this afternoon I came in from putting out the washing and went to check on him and he was pale, really pale, and he’d been sick. I know he’s fine now...’

He seemed fine and Penny examined Daniel thoroughly, but apart from a cold and a low-grade temperature there was nothing remarkable to find.

‘Has he been coughing?’

‘A bit,’ Laura said, as Penny listened carefully to his chest, but apart from a couple of crackles it was clear.

Still, Penny was concerned and it did sound as if he might have had an apnoeic episode so she decided to ring the paediatricians, who were very busy on the ward.

‘They’re going to be a while,’ Penny explained to the mum. ‘I’m going to take some bloods and do some swabs, so hopefully we’ll have some results back by the time they get down here. And I’ll order a chest X-ray.’

To show that she wasn’t, in fact, too up herself to value Ethan’s opinion, late in the afternoon when she was concerned about the baby and the paediatricians weren’t anywhere around, instead of speaking with Mr Dean, Penny decided that she would ask Ethan.

He barely looked up from the form he was filling out when Penny asked if she could have a word.

‘Sure.’

‘I’ve got an eight-week-old I’m concerned about.’ He glanced up. ‘Mum found him very pale in his cot after his nap and he’d vomited, but he picked up well. He’s had a cold, struggling to feed, he’s a bit sniffly, just...’ She moved her hand to show she was wavering. ‘His chest is clear, and he’s got a small cough, which is unremarkable. I’ve done some swabs and some bloods.’

‘What did paeds say?’ Ethan asked.

‘They’ll come down when they can, but they’re busy and they’re going to be ages,’ Penny said. ‘Mum just wants to take him home now that he’s had the tests and wait to get the results, but I’m not sure.’

Ethan came and though he had been scowling at Penny, he was lovely with the mum. He carefully checked the infant, who was bright and alert and just hungry. Penny put some saline drops in his nose and they watched as the baby latched on and started to feed happily, but just as Ethan was about to go, Daniel spluttered and broke into a coughing fit. As he came off the breast Ethan took him and held him and Penny watched, the diagnosis becoming more and more evident as he broke into a prolonged paroxysmal cough and then struggled to inhale and then cough again. Ethan was holding him up and tapping his back as Penny turned on the suction, but thankfully it wasn’t needed.

‘He wasn’t doing that.’ Laura was beside herself, watching her son. ‘He’s just had a little cough.’

‘That might have been what happened this afternoon,’ Penny said, ‘when you found him in his cot.’ She had to explain to the mother that it would seem her baby had whooping cough.

‘He’s not making any noises, though.’

‘People, especially babies, don’t always, but he’s struggling to get air in during the coughing attack,’ Penny explained. ‘It’s not evident straight away but he’s moved into the coughing stage now.’ She looked at the baby Ethan was holding—he had stopped coughing and was again desperate to be fed. ‘I’m going to call the paediatricians...’

‘Can I feed him?’

‘I’ll watch him feed while you go and call Paeds,’ Ethan said to Penny, handing the crying baby back to his mum. ‘Wait one moment before you feed him.’ He stepped out with Penny. ‘He’s to be transferred. I know he seems fine at the moment but, given his age, he needs to be somewhere with PICU.’

‘I know.’ Penny nodded.

‘Can you get Lisa to come in and watch him feed? I’ll stay in for now.’

Penny nodded. The coughing episodes were scary at best and someone calm and experienced needed to be in with the mum to help deal with them. ‘I’ve never actually seen whooping cough,’ Penny said to Lisa.

‘I’ve had it,’ Lisa said. ‘Hundred-day cough they call it and I know why. Poor baby and poor mum having to watch him. I’ll go and relieve Ethan.’

Penny spoke again to the paediatrician and started the baby on antibiotics, but really there was no treatment that could stop the coughing attacks and, as Ethan had said, given his tender age, he really did need to be somewhere with paediatric intensive care facilities in case he suddenly deteriorated.

‘They’re going to come down and see him just as soon as they can,’ Penny said when Ethan came out. ‘I’ll go and let mum know.’

‘She’s in for a tough time,’ Ethan said. ‘Are you immunised?’

‘All up to date,’ Penny said, because though she was terrified of injections, before embarking on IVF she had
made
herself get all her immunisations up to date and poor Jasmine had been the one who’d had to do them. Still, it was worth it, Penny realised, for days such as this.

‘Right.’ Ethan glanced at his watch. ‘I’m going home.’

‘See you tomorrow,’ Penny said, but Ethan shook his head.

‘I’m on days off now.’

‘Enjoy them.’

He didn’t answer. In fact, since her attempt to apologise, unless it was about a patient, Ethan had said nothing at all to her and she felt like poking her tongue out at his back as he and his bad mood walked off together.

Maybe it was just as well he was on days off. Hopefully by the time he was back they could put yesterday’s incident behind them and start again.

And she’d hopefully be finished with the hot flashes by then.

As predicted, there wasn’t a hope of her getting away at six, but when it neared, Penny told Lisa she was taking a short break and, seeing Jasmine walking down the corridor with Simon in his stroller, the moment she had been silently dreading all day was finally here.

‘I don’t want Simon seeing me upset.’ Penny was starting to panic. ‘It could make him as terrified of needles as I am.’

‘There’ll be someone in the staffroom who can watch him for five minutes,’ Jasmine said. ‘You go on and get everything ready and I’ll come in.’ They both knew it wasn’t a question of Penny being brave because her nephew was there—it was the one thing, apart from her fertility, that Penny couldn’t control, and her response to injections was varied and unpredictable.

‘Vanessa’s watching him,’ Jasmine said when she came into the office a few minutes later.

‘I don’t know if I can do this again,’ Penny said. Her hand was shaking as she checked the doses the IVF nurse had given her.

‘In a couple of moments you’ll be one evening down.’

‘With God knows how many more to go,’ Penny said. She took a deep breath and undid her skirt. ‘Just do it.’

She closed her eyes but could not stop shaking as Jasmine walked over. She had hoped so much that things would be different this time, but she was crying again, just as she had that morning at her blood test, and she was very glad that Simon wasn’t there to see his aunt make an absolute fool of herself.

‘It’s done.’ Jasmine massaged in the medication. ‘You’re done for the day.’

‘It’s ridiculous,’ Penny whimpered. ‘I’ve given so many injections today, I’ve taken blood from an eight-week-old...’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Jasmine said. ‘You’re actually better than you used to be.’

‘Really?’

‘A bit,’ Jasmine lied. ‘How are the hot flashes?’

‘Only two today.’

‘How’s Ethan been?’ Jasmine asked as Penny tucked herself in.

‘Horrible,’ Penny said. ‘He’s still sulking about yesterday. I tried to apologise but he wasn’t having any of it. There’s not much more that I can do.’

But even if she shrugged it off to her sister, Penny was rattled because, yes, she had wanted to put it behind them, had wanted to start again, and, no, she didn’t want to but she felt the tiniest bit attracted to him.

CHAPTER FOUR

E
THAN
HAD
LONG
known that his cousin might die but on the eve of the funeral he couldn’t really acknowledge that Phil had.

Kate kept ringing and asking him to come over, except he didn’t want to talk about it, not even with those closest to him. Ethan had been dreading the funeral, had found himself starting to tear up when he’d asked Gordon to cover for him for the day, though he had kept the details minimal. Then Gordon rang to tell Ethan that he was up in Maternity as his wife, Hilary, had gone into early labour so he wouldn’t be able to cover Ethan’s shift after all.

‘Someone else should be able to cover you, though.’

‘It’s fine, Gordon,’ Ethan said. ‘I’ll sort something out, you just do what you have to.’ He wished him good luck and then looked at the roster. There were several doctors he could change with, he and Penny were on till six today, but tomorrow...

As she walked past he called over to her. Penny was perhaps not his first choice to ask, but it was a pretty straight swap.

‘Can I ask a favour?’

Please, don’t
, Penny thought as she saw him looking at the roster because, in her impossible schedule, for the next couple of weeks there really was no room for manoeuvre, not that Ethan would know that.

‘Tomorrow I’m on from nine till six and you’re twelve till nine—is there any chance we can swap?’ She just blinked. ‘Though I might not get in till one.’

‘I can’t swap tomorrow, Ethan.’ She couldn’t. Not only did she have an ultrasound and blood test booked for tomorrow, she had a meeting with the specialist at nine.

‘I’ve got to attend a funeral,’ Ethan pushed, but didn’t go into detail, didn’t tell her that this was personal, he simply couldn’t. ‘Gordon was supposed to be covering for me, but his wife has gone into labour—premature labour,’ he added.

Penny hesitated; she knew she couldn’t say no.

Except she couldn’t say yes either, she simply could not miss her blood test—it was as essential as that.

She’d ring the IVF nurse, Penny decided, see if she could fiddle around her appointment, but for now, till she had, she’d have to stand firm.

‘Is there anybody else you can ask?’

‘A few.’

‘Well, see if they can help and if not, let me know.’

If she occasionally smiled, Ethan thought, she would actually be exceptionally attractive, but even then, with her terse attitude and unfeeling ways, Penny could never be considered beautiful. A black smile spread across his lips. She really was the limit and instead of leaving it there, Ethan found that he couldn’t. ‘What is your problem, Penny?’

‘Problem?’ Penny frowned. ‘I don’t have a problem. I simply can’t come in early tomorrow, that’s all.’

‘It was the same when I asked you to come in for a few hours the other day.’

‘So that you could go to a football match.’ Penny stared back coolly, looking into his angry eyes and surprisingly tempted to tell him that she had a vaginal ultrasound and a blood test booked for ten past eight tomorrow, just so that she could watch him squirm. ‘I’m sorry, Ethan, I have things on. I’m not able to simply change my schedule at a moment’s notice. If you can check with the others...’

‘Like it or not,’ Ethan said, ‘there has to be a senior staff member on at all times, and that sometimes means making last-minute changes to the roster.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ Penny responded.

‘Yet you don’t...’ He watched two spots of colour rising on her cheeks, and then she turned abruptly to go, but Ethan refused to leave it there. ‘You’re going to have to be more flexible.’

Her back was to him and he watched as Penny stilled, her shoulders stiffened and she slowly turned around. ‘Excuse me?’

‘In the coming days you’re going to have to be more flexible—Gordon will need some time after all.’

‘If Gordon’s wife having a baby leaves us short-staffed then it might be prudent to look at getting a locum because—and I am warning you now—I am not going to be dropping everything and coming into work and leaving here late and changing shifts at the last moment to accommodate Gordon, his wife and their baby.’

Penny was angry now and with good reason—part of her mandatory counselling before she’d commenced IVF had addressed problems such as this. Timing was important. These weeks were incredibly intense and to keep it from becoming a staffroom topic of conversation Penny had worked out her appointments very carefully around her work schedule. And now Hilary had gone into labour and she was supposed to juggle everything.

Well, Penny was doing this for
her
baby.

‘You’re such a team player,’ Ethan said.

‘Oh, but I’m not,’ Penny responded. ‘Ask anyone.’

‘I don’t need to ask, I’d say it’s already common knowledge.’ It was—Penny was the ice queen. He’d heard it from many and had seen it for himself, but she hadn’t finished yet, pulling Ethan up on a very pertinent point.

‘You’re talking as if Hilary is about to deliver a micro-prem when, in fact, she’s actually thirty-five weeks’ gestation.’ Ethan at that point actually had to suppress a smile, because she had well and truly caught him out. When he’d said premature labour he had been appealing or rather searching for the softer side to Penny, but he was fast realising that she simply didn’t have one. ‘I don’t respond to bells and whistles, Ethan. Give me a real drama and I’ll deal with it accordingly.’ She walked off and Ethan watched.

She was absolutely immaculate. Her straight blonde hair was tied low at the back of her neck. Her sheer cream blouse looked as if it had come straight off a mannequin at an expensive boutique and her charcoal-grey skirt was perfectly cut to show a very trim figure. If she had been just a few inches taller she could be walking down a runway instead of the corridor of the emergency department.

‘What do you respond to, Penny?’ The words were out of Ethan’s mouth before his brain had even processed them, and how he wished, the moment they were uttered, that he could take them back.

He was more than aware of the not-so-slight sexual undertone to them, and Ethan half expected her to turn on her low heels and march back to give him a sharp piece of her mind, or perhaps to head straight to Mr Dean’s office, but what happened next came as a complete surprise.

Ethan watched as Penny threw her head back and laughed and then glanced over her shoulder at him. He saw not the glitter of ice in those cold blue eyes but something far more fetching. And her mouth was parted in a slightly mocking yet somehow mischievous smile as she answered him. ‘That’s for me to know!’

Ethan found himself smiling back, a proper smile this time. He almost called out that he was looking forward to finding out but then he checked himself, the smile fading, and he turned back to the roster he had been viewing before Penny had come along, and wondered what the hell had just happened. She had been completely immutable with the roster, thoroughly unfriendly and yet somehow it had ended in a smile.

A flirtatious one at that.

Ethan had no trouble with flirting—he was an expert at it, in fact. He had just never expected to find himself going there with Penny, but more to the point, Ethan thought darkly, he still didn’t have anyone to cover him for the funeral.

* * *

‘Not now!’ Penny said a few moments later when Jasmine knocked on her office door as she came in to start her late shift. Penny was seriously rattled by the small confrontation she’d had with Ethan and wanted a few moments alone to process things and to ring the IVF nurse to see if she could possibly swap. More unsettling than that, though, was the flutter in her throat and the blush on her cheeks at her response to him. Her face still burnt red even as she tried to put off her sister from coming in, but Jasmine wanted a quick word.

‘It won’t take a second—I’m just letting you know that Mum rang this morning from a satellite phone.’

‘Where is she?’ Penny smiled and it was genuine. She was thrilled to hear from her mum.

‘Heading for Mykonos,’ Jasmine said, and Penny groaned her envy.

‘I’m sure that I don’t need to ask if she’s having a good time.’

‘Completely loving it,’ Jasmine said. ‘She said that she should’ve done this years ago and...don’t fall off your chair, but I think she might have met someone.’

‘You mean a man?’ Penny blinked in surprise. ‘I don’t know what to say...I don’t know what to think.’

‘I know.’ Jasmine smiled. ‘I can’t imagine Mum with anyone.’

Louise Masters had been single since the day her husband had left. A very volatile marriage had made Louise swear off men and instead she had focused heavily on her career and had done her best to instil the same very independent, somewhat bitter values into her daughters.

‘Anyway,’ Jasmine continued, ‘we didn’t talk for long. I’ve no idea how much it would have cost her to call. She just wanted to send her love and to find out how you were getting on. I told her that you were doing fine.’ Jasmine hesitated. She’d heard a few whispers, knew that Penny was putting noses out of joint everywhere, which wasn’t unusual. Penny was known for being tough, it was just a lot more concentrated at the moment. ‘
Are
you doing fine, though?’

‘Not really,’ Penny admitted. ‘Actually, Jasmine, I think you’re right, I might have to let a few people at work know. It’s proving impossible. I’ve just had an argument with Ethan—he needs me to come in early tomorrow so that he can go to a funeral. God.’ Penny buried her face in her hands. ‘Imagine saying no to that—it’s a funeral!’

‘Penny, it was a football match a couple of weeks ago that Ethan asked you to cover him for.’ Jasmine was indignant on her sister’s behalf. ‘And Mr Dean has a corporate golf day on Thursday and Rex is getting a divorce. The fact is that this place needs more doctors, but they still won’t employ another one.’

‘A funeral, though.’ Penny groaned.

‘Penny, you go to more funerals than anyone I know.’ It was true. Of course they couldn’t attend the funeral of every patient who died, but Penny’s black outfits were taken for a trip to the dry cleaner’s more than most. ‘You
have
to keep the next few weeks clear.’ Jasmine was firm. She knew how hard this was for Penny and just how hard her sister worked. ‘And I do think you should let your colleagues know. Not everyone, but if you told Lisa...’

‘How can Lisa help with the doctors’ roster?’

‘Well, just tell Ethan or Mr Dean...’ Her voice trailed off.

‘It’s hopeless, isn’t it?’ Mr Dean wasn’t going to be exactly thrilled to find out that his senior registrar was trying to get pregnant—it was the reason he had hesitated to promote her a few years ago—of that Penny was sure.

‘Penny, you can’t come in early tomorrow. You can’t miss a blood test, it determines the whole day’s treatment.’

‘I know. I just really thought I could handle working and doing this. I thought that it might be easier the second time around, that I’d know more what to expect, that I’d at least be used to the needles.’

‘Penny.’ Jasmine sat on the edge of her sister’s desk. ‘I think you are going to have to face the fact that you are never going to get over your fear of needles.’

‘I’m an emergency registrar!’

‘With one weakness.’ Jasmine gave a sympathetic smile. ‘It’s just a horrible weakness to have when you’re going through IVF.’

‘I made a right fool of myself this morning at my blood test.’ Penny shuddered at the memory. ‘It took two of them, one to hold me and one to take the blood. I was crying and carrying on like a two-year-old!’

‘Then it’s just as well that you’re not having your IVF treatment here.’

Penny blanched at the very thought of that happening. Even if Peninsula Hospital offered IVF, which they didn’t, Penny wouldn’t take it. Oh, for the convenience, it would be wonderful to just pop upstairs for the endless blood tests, injections and scans that were part of the tumultuous ride she was on, but not so convenient would be to have your colleagues see you a shivering, terrified mess. She was bad enough at the best of times, but right now, tired and with her hormones all over the place, it was the worst of times.

‘Do you have to work?’ Jasmine asked gently.

‘I took time off last time,’ Penny said. ‘And I had all that time off when Mum came out of hospital. I’d actually like to have some annual leave up my sleeve if I ever do get pregnant.’

‘You will.’ Jasmine slipped off the desk and gave her sister a hug, but it wasn’t returned. Penny wasn’t particularly touchy-feely. ‘You’re going to get your baby.’

‘Easy for you to say.’ Penny tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She loved Simon very much, but he had been an accident. Just one mistake had seen Jasmine pregnant. Yes, Jasmine had had a terrible time with a horrible husband and later as a single mum before she’d married Jed. But now, just a few months into her marriage, she was pregnant, although she hadn’t told Penny.

Penny felt her sister’s arms around her tense shoulders and it was time to face the white elephant in the room before it came between them.

‘When are you going to tell me, Jasmine?’ There was a long stretch of silence. ‘You’re pregnant, aren’t you?’

‘Penny, I...’

Penny heard the discomfort in her sister’s voice and forced a smile before turning her face back to Jasmine. ‘How many weeks?’

‘Fourteen.’ Jasmine flushed.

‘Have you told Mum?’

‘Not yet. We haven’t said anything to anyone yet. I wanted to tell you first but I just didn’t know how.’ Jasmine’s eyes were same blue as her sister’s and they filled with tears. ‘You were so upset when your last IVF attempt failed and then you’ve been building up for this one. I know how hard it is for you right now, and to find out my news right in the middle of an IVF treatment cycle, well, I know...’

Except Jasmine didn’t know, Penny thought, though at least she tried to understand.

Penny took a deep breath. ‘Even if it isn’t happening easily for me, it doesn’t mean that I can’t be pleased for you.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘Of course I am. I know I wasn’t the best sister and aunt to Simon at first, but I’ve told you why. I was jealous when you were pregnant with Simon, but it’s different now—I’m honestly pleased for you and Jed.’ Penny gave a wry smile. ‘And, of course, terribly, terribly jealous.’