See How She Runs (12 page)

“Good night, Kennan," I said, as the tears
threatened to break through. My resolve did nothing to soften the
blow of the loss.

“Good night," I heard him mutter.

I headed to my sleeping back and curled up.
I prayed that sleep would come quickly, that at least there I would
find some shelter from the storm of my life. For once, my prayers
were granted.

**********

THIRTEEN

The next morning, I rose with the sun. I
oriented myself quickly before gathering clothes for the day. I
spared a glance toward Kennan to be sure he was still asleep before
heading over to the river. I bent over the water to wash my face
with the frigid water, effectively chasing away any remnants of
sleep that might have still clung to me. I pulled my clothes off
from the night before, replacing them just as quickly with the ones
I had taken from my pack. My flesh rose wherever the cool air
kissed it. Once I was completely changed, I headed back to my
sleeping bag. I glanced over to where Kennan was sleeping moments
before. He was sitting with his head buried in his hands as though
he was trying to shake something out of his vision. Suddenly he
stood and looked over at me.

“You need to change in your sleeping bag
from now on," he said gruffly before turning back to his stuff to
finish packing.

“Well, I thought you were asleep, so I am so
terribly sorry if you saw something that offended your delicate
sensibilities," I said snippily. I refused to be cowed by a man
that barely spared me twenty words the previous day.

I began shoving my stuff back in my bag,
fueled by my temper and the need to start moving forward. I found a
stash of protein bars and other snacks in a pocket that I had not
noticed the day before. After getting my stuff put away I grabbed a
bag of granola out and started munching while I plotted the rest of
the trek. I looked at the river and noticed that I was going to
link up with the Hoh River trail at some point. That trail would
lead me out of the back country to a Resort. Well, there was no
time like the present.

I got up and started heading westward
keeping to the river. I never glanced back to see if Kennan
followed. I was starting to feel like a fall in the river, mixed
with a swift drowning, would be preferable to my current situation.
I was fed up with the drama and heartache the past few days had
thrown my way. In a rare fit of pique, I allowed my anger to fuel
me. Tired of the loss of control, I headed out into the forest
without a thought to my safety. Reckless abandon was quite freeing,
it turned out.

A mile or so later, I realized there was a
reason people did not take up rage hiking as a hobby. My anger had
caused me to end up in a rather precarious position. I was faced
with either climbing up what might be a cliff face, or wading
through the frigid water to make my way around the bend. Had I
taken the time to look at the map more often, and perhaps let a
more level-headed detached person help me, I might not be in this
predicament.

I refused to back track the half mile. My
feet were in serious pain and I knew I did not have much left in
me. I decided that up would be my best bet. Half way up, I lost my
footing, and began to slide down.

I felt myself slipping away and suddenly
realized all of that bluster earlier was for the birds. Turns out,
I still wanted to live quite a lot. I yelled out scrambling to grab
a hold of anything that might slow my fall. Kennan caught me just
as my panic came to a fever pitch.

He helped me find a foothold once more, and
we continued up the incline with him close behind. My breath
hitched in my throat, and by the time we made it to the top of the
hill I was a hot mess. I was unsure what kind of bad karma I was
toting around that had caused me to lose everyone that had ever
mattered to me. I was angered by the loss and even more so by the
loss of the last person that mattered, Kennan. He had saved me, but
there was a complete lack of warmth between us where our friendship
once lived.

I allowed the tears to fall, mourning the
loss, while simultaneously purging the anger that had fueled the
entire morning. I stopped to wipe my eyes, the tears making it
impossible to discern the path.

I began to walk again as I felt a tug at my
elbow and Kennan pulled me into his arms. I pushed against him,
refusing to be comforted by someone that was suddenly so
changeable. I breathed out slowly to try and keep the shudder from
my voice.

“Please let go. Just don’t. I don’t know
what I did, and honestly I don’t want to know at this point. I just
want to get through this, figure out how to bring all of the bad
guys down, and then go back to living a quiet life. One that you
don’t have to be a part of. I have lost everyone that matters, and
now you are gone. I don’t know what changed, but if we are going to
get through this, you have to stop switching on me. Just be this
way or be my friend. Either way, I just can’t handle the yoyo
routine you are pulling on me." Deflated with my emotional leakage
I tried to step away from him.

“Izzy,” he began, “I…”

“Don’t. I don’t want an explanation. I just
need help to get through this. If you can do that, then please do
it with at least a little civility."

“Damn it woman, let me finish. I don’t know
how to do this, okay? I don’t know how to be what you want me to be
and keep my promise at the same time," he said as if his words
should make sense to me.

“All I want is to have my friend back. I
don’t understand why you can’t be that guy and my Guardian. You
kept me safe in Chicago for two years." Frustration poured off of
me in waves. I tried to edge away from him once more. Instead I was
pulled back into his embrace.

“Honestly, I don’t know that I did such a
great job in Chicago. You almost got caught. Had I not been there
that day at the museum, I shudder to think what might have
happened. I promised your dad that I would keep you safe. He was
once the only person that mattered to me. If I fail in protecting
his daughter, then I will have failed him. I can’t live with that.
So, for now I need to be distant and objective. I need to know that
you can survive without me." He released me and walked forward
leaving me numb.

Alright, distance and no friendship. This
was just going to be a barrel of laughs. Not that saving the world
and taking down evil corporations should be fun, but the heroine
should at least have some perks. Maybe a bat cave, or some shiny
weapons. Instead I got the Olympic Wilderness and a bipolar sensei.
I would have to make the best of it, just like my mom taught
me.

We continued the day’s hike with small talk
every now and again. We passed most of the time by discussing the
surrounding wilderness and things that it contained that would help
my escape. As we exited the backcountry, the sun was beginning to
set once more. Once we reached the lodge, Kennan pulled some keys
out of his pocket. He walked up to a vehicle parked in the darkest
corner of the lot and got in. I followed, hoping that we weren’t
stealing some unsuspecting tourists only means of mobility.

We traveled south on 101 for a while before
turning off on a familiar gravel road. He parked the car where the
SUV was resting. I finally asked about the current car we were
traveling in.

“So, how many cars do you have, big guy?" I
was hoping for brevity, but I just ended up sounding tired
instead.

“There is a car parked at each one of the
escape routes. Once you hike out you will find a car waiting for
you. I will give you a set of keys."

We climbed out of the car, and he set about
camouflaging it like the SUV. Then we headed back into the woods
once more. I was hoping all the while that he would take the short
route. Now that the adrenaline of my anger had worn off, I was
struck by how much pain I was in. My feet were killing me and all I
wanted to do was sleep in a comfortable bed. All of my muscles
simultaneously screamed out in a seemingly unionized protest.

By the time we reached the cabin, full dark
had set in. We walked through the door and Kennan headed to the
fireplace to get it going. I plopped down on the couch with my
backpack still attached like a symbiotic organism.

“Man, my dogs are barking," I said as I lay
there, every muscle in my body giving up simultaneously.

Kennan moved towards my feet to take off my
shoes. I didn’t argue, considering my arms quit working around the
same time my leg muscles decided to atrophy. He pulled my shoes off
to reveal socks tinged a red color. I was pretty sure I had not put
on tie dyed socks that morning. He started to peel my socks away
from my feet and I winced.

“Why didn’t you say anything about your
feet, Izzy?" he reprimanded as he tried to gently pry my socks the
rest of the way off. I looked down to my ruined feet and felt the
blood rush out of my face.

“I knew they were hurting, but I also knew
we couldn’t stop, that we needed to get out of there today. So I
just sucked it up and trudged on. They aren’t that bad, are they?"
I asked hopefully, not wanting to look at them again.

“Next time, if you are hurting, you say
something. This could have been prevented." He looked at me, anger
and concern etched on his face. Even I had to admit the stupidity
in my actions.

I nodded as he moved away toward the
bathroom bringing back a washcloth and a basin of water. I also
noticed he was carrying a jar of some sort of salve along with
bandages. He set about working on my feet as I lay there basking in
my own stupidity.

“What is that?" I asked as he set about
opening the jar and smearing the cream on the worst of my injuries.
“Ack, that stuff smells horrible. Seriously, what is it?" I asked
as I wrinkled my nose.

“It is a herbal remedy. Old healers used to
use it. The salve will speed up your healing process three fold.
You will be able to hike again in four days. Without this, you
would have been out for at least a week if not more. Next time, you
don’t keep hiking if it hurts. Next time, you speak up. Are we
understood?" he asked so clinically it set my teeth on edge.

“Yeah, I understand. I can put the bandages
on you know. I don’t need you to take care of me. I am perfectly
capable of handling myself, this incident of stupidity aside.
Besides, don’t I need to build calluses or something like that? All
of the hiking stuff I have read talks about how calluses will
prevent future blisters, and the quickest way to get calluses is
from blistering." I felt quite inflated only to be brought right
back down.

“Yeah, blisters help, but only if they have
not burst. I am perfectly aware that you can take care of yourself.
Just shut up and let me do this. I should have noticed you were
hurting and had I not been such an ass to you, I would have. You
would not have kept it from me," he sighed as he set about
bandaging my poor feet.

After he had finished his task, I started to
get up from the couch and head toward my room to dump my stuff. I
had to try three times to get up before Kennan felt pity and gave
me a hand. I hobbled to my room, not looking back, and dropped my
stuff. I dug some clothes out of my drawer and headed to the
bathroom to wash up more. The river water had not done much in the
way of hygiene. When I finished I headed back out into the living
room to hear Kennan snickering at me.

I glared toward him with the most severe and
intimidating look I could muster, only causing him to laugh harder.
Once again, his mood swinging so violently I was starting to get
seasick. I looked at him and continued to hobble my dirty things to
my room. Kennan laughed all of the while. I dropped my stuff in my
room and turned toward him.

“What is so funny? Do find my misfortune
amusing?"

“No, you just sort of look like a penguin
the way you are wobbling around here. Sit down and I will bring you
something to eat. And try not to pull any muscles in your face with
that expression.”

He headed off toward the kitchen and
returned with some chips and a Coke. I didn’t drink soda very
often, but when I did, I drank Coke. Ha, I sounded like that beer
guy. I sipped the soda while looking at Kennan dubiously, afraid
that he would revert back to the distance policy. He sank down onto
the chair across from the couch confirming that the distance would
be maintained. I hated myself at that moment for yearning for his
closeness. I had not realized until the past couple of days how
much I had depended on Kennan for friendship and emotional support.
And now, I had neither.

“I think that I am going to go to bed
Kennan," I said, with a lump in my throat and a sick feeling rising
in my stomach. I could not face him right now. I could not face
what I had lost and what had replaced it. Instead, I pushed the
feelings down, and hobbled to my room. As I shut my door, I heard
him curse and what sounded like a chair getting an undeserved
beating. Too wrung out to care, I fell onto my bed and into the
arms of oblivion.

**********

FOURTEEN

I awoke with a start, having slept another
dreamless night. Years had passed without a peaceful night’s sleep,
and I realized that whatever whammy Kennan put on me was
responsible for my rest. I would have to remember to thank him for
it, but ultimately I knew I could not hide any more. I sat up and
placed my feet on the floor preparing for the onslaught of
discomfort. None came. I looked down and my feet and hesitantly
peeled back a bandage. Where there had been carnage there were now
light pink splotches. I tested my feet on the floor and found them
to feel fine.

I got up and headed out into the living
room. Once again, Kennan was nowhere to be found. A few seconds
later, a thwack from outside announced his whereabouts. I looked
through the window to see Kennan chopping more firewood. The stack
behind him was high enough to supply a family of five for an entire
winter. Somebody was apparently worked up. I shuffled into the
kitchen, putting Kennan out of my mind. Today I was going to have
to try and jack into my own mind and figure out how this
communication and vision thing worked. But first, I needed some
fuel.