See How She Runs (15 page)

“Is there any other news Ian? Or is that all
you had to pass along?" Kennan asked with a hint of censure in his
voice.

“Nope, that was it. But the Council asked me
to stay for a few days and help train little bit here," he said
with amusement in his eyes. “She really is a tiny thing isn’t she?"
He asked.

“She is right here, bonehead," I said,
annoyed.

“You have to admit, you are quite a tiny
little thing. Ferocious, but tiny," he said like I was some sort of
purse dog.

“Ugggghhhh!" I growled, irritated. “I am not
tiny. You people are just giants. I am a perfectly average height
with normal people, I will have you know." I stomped my foot as I
stood trying to look him in the eye. I stood on my tiptoes and only
came eye to chin with him.

Well, that showed him.

“It is alright there, Little One. We all
know how big and bad you are," he said with amusement in his
eyes.

“Dude, I would not start with her. She has a
temper that can shake a house down. That, and she figured out how
to memory sift today. If you aren’t careful she will reveal all of
your darkest secrets to the world," Kennan said with a snicker. I
decided to play along and raised an eyebrow at Ian.

He put his hands up in placation. “Whoa, we
are all friends here. Or we could be," he said with a wink in my
direction.

I rolled my eyes, but wondered what his
darkest secret might be. I wondered if he secretly had a collection
of unicorn figurines. Ooooh, or maybe it was a Hello Kitty
collection. I started snickering as the two men looked at me.

“Sorry, I am good. Just, maybe you could
work on your bad news delivery, Ian? Because let me tell you, your
current methods leave something to be desired," I said before
moving back to the couch.

I slumped down as Ian sat in my bubble
again, once more wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I looked to
Kennan for some help, but he just shook his head at Ian and moved
toward the kitchen to find his friend some food.

“So, what’s say you and me get acquainted?"
Ian said while moving his eyebrows up and down.

“Um, I think I will pass," I said, rolling
my eyes at him. I picked up my book to begin reading once more.

“What?" he asked sniffing under his arms. “I
don’t smell bad. What’s the problem? I just want to be your
friend," he added, with a put on flourish of sad puppy eyes.

“I have a friend, I think," I said, looking
toward Kennan. He had a look of trepidation on his face, as though
he were restraining himself from bashing his friend’s skull in.

Ian just sat there, cool as a cucumber
trying to read over my shoulder.

“Do you mind? You are kind of a little
close," I said, trying to scoot away only to be trapped under his
arm just as quickly.

“Nope, not at all. I have read this one.
Want to know how it ends?" he asked, smiling down at me.

It was hard to stay annoyed at someone that
was just so insane. I thought Kennan was bad, but this guy was a
total whacko.

“No, I don’t want to know how it ends. Not
until I get there. I like to read the whole story, thank you very
much," I said, turning my book away from his prying eyes.

“Dude, your food is done. Why don’t you come
over here and give her a break. You kind of dropped a huge
emotional bomb on her a few minutes ago. So, I don’t know, maybe
give her some time before trying to lay down the charm?" Kennan
asked, more brusquely than I thought necessary.

“Easy killer, me and the little one here
were just becoming friends. Isn’t that right, Izzy?" Coming from
anyone else I would have thought the statement creepy, but from Ian
it just sounded honest.

“Yep, we are besties now! Maybe later I can
paint your nails and you can braid my hair?" I asked sarcastically,
only noticing too late that his fingernails were in fact already
painted a bright blue.

His eyes lit up. I shook my head in
response. “Sorry big guy, I don’t paint my nails," I said as I
wiggled my naked nails in his face.

“You are as much fun as Kennan," he said,
disappointed, as he moved over toward the kitchen and I returned to
my book.

The rest of the evening passed with ease.
The banter between Kennan and Ian was a welcome relief from the
seriousness pressing against me. I watched as the two men exchanged
stories about fellow Guardians, making sure to fill me in on any
back story I was missing. The two men enveloped me in their world
as if I belonged there and for once I felt like I had found my
place. I listened to their laughter and drifted off into a calm
sleep. Sometime later I felt myself lifted from the couch and moved
into my room.

I felt Kennan brush his lips against my
forehead before whispering something in that language I did not
understand. As he shut the door I heard Ian ask him, “How the hell
are you going to handle this man? What would her father think?" Ian
asked with laughter.

“Don’t think I don’t know man. It is wrong
on so many levels, but it is something better left alone. You got
me?”

That was all I heard before being pulled
into my dreams. My sleep was fitful.

**********

I dreamed of rolling green hills and saw
myself standing on a cliff looking down at the ocean. The waves
crashed against rocks. I stood there taking in the thundering and
wondered what it must be like to swim against such a great force. I
heard my name and as I turned I saw my mother standing behind
me.

“
Mom?" I asked, wondering if this was
just a dream or if she were really there.

“
Baby, I won’t be back again. I want you
to know how much I love you. But it is my time. I feel myself
fading. I just couldn’t leave without telling you goodbye.”

I ran to her and threw myself in her frail
arms.

“
Please don’t leave me!" I begged as I
buried my face in her boney shoulder. “I can come and get you. Just
wait a little longer. Please mom. Please don’t leave me again, not
when I just found you.”

“
Oh my sweet, sweet girl. It is my time.
I am not scared, I am relieved. I can finally be with your father
once more. And what is left of me is not worth saving, Little One.
You have so much more ahead of you. I am but a shell of what I once
was." She lifted my face to look me in the eyes. Her tears mirrored
my own. “You be brave, you understand me? You are stronger than you
will ever know. I will love you for always, my sweet girl.”

She let me go and walked away disappearing
into the fog that was rolling in around me.

I yelled out for her. Sobs racked my body. I
tried to find her in the fog but only got lost myself. I fell to my
knees yelling out.

“
Mom, please don’t leave me. I am all
alone. You are all I have," I begged with all of my heart,
screaming as loudly as I could.

**********

I was jolted to the present by Kennan
shaking my shoulders. Tears coursed down my face as I pulled myself
into him and sobbed. She was gone. I was too late.

I heard Kennan whisper something in my ears
and I felt the connection sever. He had put the whammy on me again.
But I did not fight it. I couldn’t handle another vision or
anything at the moment. My body wrung out by the sobs that had
wracked it moments before. I was left empty and alone. I heard him
whisper something more before the darkness enveloped me and I fell
into a dreamless sleep.

When I finally woke the next morning the
truth of the previous night rushed in. I felt strangled by the loss
of everyone I held so dear. But I pushed the grief down and I
replaced it with anger. I let the anger encompass me. I allowed it
to comfort me in a way my grief couldn’t. I sought it out and
brought it in. I let the grief go and resolved myself to stop the
people that had stolen everything I cared for. I would not allow
myself to wallow any longer. It was time I grew up, and fast.

I walked out into the living room, after
putting on some clothes and my favorite sweater. Both Kennan and
Ian were up and talking in hushed tones. They looked at me
expectantly, as if I were about to burst into tears at any moment.
By all rights, I should have, but the pain had numbed me. There
were only so many times a heart could be broken. I looked at both
of them and something in my expression must have translated my
resolve. They both exhaled as though they had been waiting for an
eruption.

“It is time I stop hiding and start doing
something. My feet feel better today, so I suggest we head out and
get me acquainted with the rest of the escape routes. So you
gentlemen should probably pack up. We are leaving right after
breakfast." With that I turned and headed for the kitchen, only to
have Kennan and Ian rush to stand in front of me.

Kennan lifted his hand as if to brush the
hair from my face. I looked up into his eyes and said, “Don’t. I am
fine." He dropped his hand, unsure of what to do. I suppose he had
never seen me like this before. Lord knows, I had never felt like
this before.

Ian, dressed in an equally ridiculous outfit
as the day before, clapped his hands together and said, “Sweet,
hiking. I love hiking." He winked at me and I was suddenly grateful
to have him there.

Kennan stepped aside and let me move into
the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. I did not bother trying
to feed Kennan and Ian. I am not sure I would have even known how
much to cook for the two of them. Instead, I grabbed some yogurt
and a banana. As soon as I was finished, I headed into my room to
pack the supplies I might need for the day and checked the map. I
decided to try a shorter route than the last time. I feared my feet
might not make it through another twenty mile hike.

By the time I made it back out into the
living room, Kennan and Ian were both ready to go. Kennan looked
like his sexy Brawny Man self and Ian looked like he had just left
Woodstock. I headed for the door and told them which trek we would
be making that day.

We spent the day walking through the woods,
never talking about anything of any importance. My anger had
subsided into a dull burning that kept my grief at bay. I embraced
the numbness, allowing myself to revel in its freedom. We made it
through the trek with very little incident and came out to a dirt
road where an old, beat up SUV awaited me. I turned toward Kennan
and held out my hand for the keys. Then we made our way back to the
cabin.

By the time we got back it was almost dark
and we decided to have a bonfire for dinner. I went into the house
and dumped my bag, thankful that my feet did not feel destroyed
like the last time. I headed into the kitchen and gathered up all
of the stuff we might need for the hotdogs and s’mores, then went
out to find the guys.

“Do you think that is enough to feed us?"
Ian asked, smiling down at me. His rainbow tie-dyed bandana made it
difficult to take anything he said seriously.

I looked down at the two packs of hotdogs in
my hands and back up to Ian.

“Well, it ought to be. Just because you live
practically forever doesn’t mean you should overeat," I said as I
set everything down. Suddenly I was lifted in the air and tossed
over Ian’s shoulder as he ran me around, promising to drop me on my
head if I didn’t apologize. Finally I relented.

“Fine,” I said between giggles. “I give,
just put me down you brute. How many more hotdogs do you think you
need?”

He looked at Kennan and back at me and they
simultaneously said, “Grab another pack."

I headed back into the cabin to grab some
more hotdogs. On the way out, I overheard them talking about me so
I paused. Okay, I know eavesdropping is horrible, but so is talking
about someone when they aren’t there. I listened in as I heard Ian
begin to speak.

“How is she doing, Kennan? Seriously. I came
up here because her mom told the Council she would be gone soon.
Her mom was really worried about what is ahead for her. What
happened last night, man?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t ever seen her like
this. She is usually like sunshine, bright and cheery. Something
has shifted in her though. Her mom said goodbye to her last night.
So that means she is gone. I don’t know, man. It seems like in
place of her sun there is anger now. I just hope she doesn’t let it
consume her," Kennan said with a sigh before turning in my
direction. “We know you are there nosey, so you might as well come
out.”

So busted. I had forgotten about the
tracking thing he could do. So, I sucked it up and went out to face
my accusers.

“What? I was just minding my own business
and bringing out more food when I heard ya’ll talking about me. Of
course I want to know what is being said. I mean, don’t act like
ya’ll wouldn’t do the same," I said, trying to add a little bluster
and just sounding guilty instead.

“Riiiiiigggghhht," Ian said, not buying what
I was selling.

“Fine, okay, I got busted. But seriously, I
am fine guys. I am mad as hell and ready to kick some evil arse,
but I am fine. Losing her sucks, but you need to remember I did not
even know she was still alive until like a week ago. I had already
dealt with the whole dead mom thing. Quite honestly, a person’s
heart can only fracture so many times before it is completely
broken. So I don’t have much left to give in the grief department.
Instead, I can move forward and work on my future. If I cave now
then I will never get back up. So, just stop giving me looks like I
am breakable. The both of you," I said with some force, before
putting the hotdogs in the pile.

“Easy there, Red. Remember, I am supposed to
be taking care of you, so just chill out," Kennan said before
walking up to me and throwing his arm over my shoulder. “I know you
are made of strong stuff. I just don’t want you to be consumed by
the anger.”