See How She Runs (17 page)

“Our father was a good man. He was joyful
and giving. He loved to laugh and he loved everyone with abandon.
Including our mother. You see, we Guardians don’t get to choose who
we protect. We don’t always end up with romantic feelings toward
our Seers, but it happens in about half of the cases. Otherwise our
races would die out, you know? Well, not all Seers are good Izzy.
Neither are Guardians I suppose. We are just like humans in that
there are those that want to help others and those that wish to
only help themselves. My mother was the latter," he said pausing. I
could feel him slipping back into his memories, and I struggled not
to sift through them myself.

“Our father, Shaemus, wanted so badly for
our mother to be good that he eventually stopped seeing the truth
of what she was. I don’t doubt she loved him. I am sure in her own
way she did. But he was never enough for her and neither was I. I
am like my da you see? I want the world to be a better place than
it was when I got here. My brother on the other hand, well, he was
quite useful to our mother. She taught him how to get into visions
and dream walk. She taught him how to hack into any Seers thoughts
and use them for his own gain. When she finished teaching him
everything she knew, she hoped he would help her to gain the sort
of life she had always wanted. What she got from him instead was a
knife to the back."

I breathed in hard as Kennan braced himself
to finish a story that was not often spoken.

“I saw him do it, Izzy. And you know what
the worst part was? He looked up at me and smiled afterward. Every
ounce of decency abandoned and replaced with greed and corruption.
I knew in that moment that he was not the brother I had grown and
played with any longer. That man had been replaced by a creature of
my mother’s making. One she could not even control in the end. He
disappeared that night, and my father died six months later,
heartbroken. He finally realized the truth of everything he had
turned his eyes from over the years. He made me promise that I
would stop Xavier.”

Kennan looked at me as if the next part of
the story was something he wished he did not have to tell me. A
chill crawled up my spine as I awaited his next words.

“I could have killed him the day he killed
your dad. Your mom knew that he was coming and exactly where he
would be. You see, our mother taught me how to vision walk as well,
but once she realized I would not do her bidding, she gave up on
me. Well, I had seen your mother’s vision. I knew precisely where
it would happen, and I did nothing to stop it. I went that day
prepared to kill him, but I couldn’t. I could not see the monster
he truly was. All I saw was the boy I had played with as a child. I
saw him take your mother away and heard her voice in my head
telling me it was all as it was meant to be. Even at the last, she
tried to comfort me for my weakness. Then he shot your father.
Xavier knew I was there watching."

I could barely breathe. I had always
wondered how he got there quickly enough to be with my father as he
died.

Kennan would not look as me as he continued.
“Your father did not know I could have prevented it. He paid a
price that should have been mine. He was caught in the middle of a
rivalry that has lasted hundreds of years. I don’t think your dad
knew that I had seen the whole thing happen. But I remember every
second of it. I remember watching his life slip away and your
mother being yanked away. I remember her calming assurance and I
remember your big hazel eyes staring up at me from the trunk of
that car like I was a savior and not the coward I truly am. I am
just as weak as my father and that weakness has caused you to lose
everyone you loved.”

We were both quiet for a long time before
either one of us could talk. I was hurt that he had kept all of
this from me, but I realized it was not out of malice that he had
done so. He had not told me because his inaction brought him shame.
I reached over and grabbed his hand. Kennan was just as much a
victim of circumstance as I was. Part of me was angry that he
hadn’t stepped in, but in his place I don’t think I could have done
it either.

“Kennan,” I said hesitantly, “I didn’t lose
everyone I loved. I had Grams for a long time, and Mike. I also
have you," I said, and I knew the truth of it. I loved Kennan with
my whole heart. He had protected me when no one else could have,
and brought me back from darkness more times than I could count. I
wasn’t ready for him to know the depth of that love just yet so I
hastily added, “You are my best friend. I would be lost without
you."

Ugh, lame. I am such a pansy.

Kennan sighed and leaned back against the
wall, as though a heavy weight had finally lifted from his
shoulders. The burden of his secret must have been unimaginably
heavy. He sat there, silent, for a long time before a yawn escaped
my lips. He looked at me and asked something I never thought I
would hear.

“Can I stay in here tonight? I just need to
be close to your sunshine for a while." The rare glimpse at his
emotional side staggered me.

“It might be a tight fit, but sure, you can
sleep in here tonight," I said as the butterflies took flight in my
stomach once more. My heart leapt into my throat, and I prayed that
I would be able to play it cool. Kennan, in just his boxer briefs,
wanted to sleep in the same bed. This was going to be
difficult.

Kennan lay down on the side closest to the
wall and I took the outside edge. We were forced to spoon,
considering it was just a full sized bed and Kennan himself took up
over half of it. I scooted as far toward the edge as I possibly
could to avoid contact with his body. I knew that if he touched me,
I would probably spontaneously combust. Then where would the whole
bring down the bad guys movement be? So, yeah, it was for the good
of the future that I was about to fall off of the bed and onto the
floor.

He reached over and pulled me against his
body, kissing the top of my head as he did so. My heart sped up,
and I hoped that he could not feel the frantic beating against his
arm. “I think you just may save me yet, Red," he mumbled as his
breathing became steady.

I lay there wide awake wondering how he
could be so cool laying so close to me when I was about to crawl
out of my skin. Then a thought occurred to me, maybe he did not see
me the way I saw him at all. Oh great, that would just be super. I
must have lain there for hours in a state of confusion, arousal,
and frustration.

Eventually sleep came for me and it was
filled with graphic dreams of Kennan. I wondered for the first time
if they were of my creation or his own. Or whether it even mattered
which of us had thought them up. I reveled in the feel of his body
against my own as his lips traced my collar bone. I felt every mere
brush of his skin against my own as he took his time worshiping my
body. He moved his mouth lower toward my hip bone causing me to
raise my hips to meet his sinful lips. Suddenly I pulled myself
from my dream.

I was awake and my body hummed. I tried to
calm my breathing. I was surprised to feel the weight of someone
behind me and remembered that Kennan was in bed with me. I turned
to face him and found him staring at me with a look of pain and
lust commingled. I looked at him, not knowing what to say. I had to
suppress the urge to kiss him violently.

“This was a bad idea. I am going back to the
living room," Kennan growled breathlessly before heading out the
door, while adjusting a rather impressive mound in his boxer
briefs.

I fell back on the bed forcefully, wishing
for a cold shower or some electronic aid. Either would suffice at
the moment. Instead I was left wanton. I looked over at the clock,
giving up any hope of further sleep, when I saw that it was only
four in the morning. I grabbed my tablet and decided to distract
myself with some
Northanger Abbey
. Jane Austen never failed
to provide a welcome distraction. There was nothing like an English
period piece to douse some hormonal flames with civility.

I lay back against the pillows and tapped on
the book’s image. I immersed myself in the story, and by the time I
had reached the halfway point, I was finally more composed. I got
up and put some hiking clothes on. I hoped that I could head out
and work on another escape route today. This time, I would use the
hike to blow off frustration of an entirely different sort. I tried
to quietly sneak to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but no
luck.

“Walk of shame, it really is a shameful
thing," Ian said with a snicker.

“What are you talking about? I was just
trying not to wake anyone up." I said as my face flamed scarlet.
Not for the first time, I cursed my fair skin for betraying me so
readily.

“Yeah, yeah, big man already left. He said
he had some errands or something. Looked to me like he was
escaping. So what happened? Did you two finally bump uglies?" Ian
said, while raising his eyebrows up and down.

“Ugh, no, and you are disgusting! We slept,
he left, totally normal," I said, closing the bathroom door to
prevent any further comments from the peanut gallery.

I came out a few minutes later with the
objective of distract and redirect. I thought the plan would not
take much effort with Ian, considering how flighty he seemed to be
most of the time.

“So, can we hike then? I mean, he didn’t say
we had to stay in the cabin did he?" I asked, hoping that we could
escape and I could walk off some of the steam.

“Nope, he just sort of grunted and shoved
himself in some clothes before leaving," Ian said with a knowing
smile.

Alright, so, maybe he was not so easy to
derail. Appearances were apparently quite deceiving where Ian was
concerned. Speaking of appearances, someone seriously needed to
host an intervention on his wardrobe. Today he was wearing a kilt
with a long sleeved striped shirt and flip flops. I just shook my
head, not having the energy to do a makeover on him, and knowing he
would fight it if I tried.

“Well, do you know how to do the whole mind
woo woo thing to keep me from being tracked?" I was really hoping
he would get on this change of subject train and just go with
it.

“Yep, I can do the mind woo woo. Hey, do you
mind if I use that? Mind woo woo, I like it," Ian said as he put
four sausage biscuits in the microwave.

“So, you want to go for a hike then? I am
supposed to be planning my big escape, and I need to practice all
of the trails before Kennan will let me do the solo runs."

“Sure, we should probably leave a note
though. He gets awfully testy where you are concerned," Ian said
with a smirk.

“He is my Guardian person, of course he is
worried about my safety," I said, trying to sound detached.

“Right," Ian said sarcastically. “Well, you
ready there Little Bit, or do you need to powder your nose and put
on your face?”

“Hardy har har. I am ready whenever you are.
But maybe you should change first?" I asked hopefully, and also
fearfully. There was no telling what he would replace his current
attire with.

“What are you the fashion police? I am quite
happy with my clothing choice for the day. It distracts the bad
guys you know?" So that was his reasoning. Well I guess it beat
insanity.

“Um, at least change the shoes. Flip flops
are not conducive to mountainous hiking, you know? I am pretty sure
Kennan will kill you if I have to haul your heavy butt out of the
back country. In fact, I am quite sure hauling your heavy self out
of the back country would kill me," I said with a giggle, to which
Ian smacked my arm playfully.

“Fine, your wish, my command." He headed
over to his duffel bag and pulled out his hiking boots. I was
hoping to heavens he was wearing something under the kilt as he
lifted his leg to put on his shoes. Thank God he had on some boxer
briefs. I suppose a utility kilt did not call for the traditional
commando status.

Once he had his feet properly attired, we
headed to the door. Before we walked out he reached down and
grabbed my face. He chanted the words that had become synonymous
with safety and we headed out. We trekked the rainforest, joking
the whole way. I told him how I thought the ferns were man-eaters,
and he proceeded to pantomime being eaten by one of them. He
struggled valiantly before the fern brought him down and ultimately
took his life. It was sad really. When we stopped for lunch I
finally felt like I could ask him something a little more
serious.

“What was she like? My mom, I mean. I only
got to know her until I was eight and that just seems like a
lifetime ago. I can see the memories more clearly, but I just kind
of want to know what she was like from someone else’s perspective,
you know?" I asked with my eyes on the ground, afraid he might turn
it into a joke.

“Your mom, well she was amazing. She was
like this otherworldly creature. I have never met someone as loving
or forgiving in my life. I swear, I could not rattle her at all. No
one could. She was unshakeable. Even with you she was that way. She
was steady and strong and the best person I have ever known. I saw
you quite a lot when you were little, you know? Back before they
figured out what would become of them. They would have Kennan and
me over all of the time. I think your mom felt sorry for us, like
she somehow had caused your father to leave us behind. So, instead,
she made us part of her family. But when Kennan left, it just
wasn’t the same," Ian said with a sigh as he picked at his
sandwich.

“Do you think I can be as strong as
her?"

“You already are. You are so much more of a
fighter than she was. You get that from your dad. She was always
one to take the path of least resistance. As long as it would keep
the people she loved safe, she would journey into the jaws of death
itself. Which was ultimately what she did. But you, you have fire
Izzy. You have her goodness and her light but you have something
more. You have a fierceness the likes of which I have never seen
before. I pity anyone that gets in the way of what you want. You
can move mountains, Little One," Ian said as he shoved his sandwich
in his mouth with a nod.