Sexual Healing for Three (39 page)

“You’re still in love with him.”

Suzie laughed without mirth, nodding. “I love him. A part of me always will. But we can’t be together. We tried for a long time, and it didn’t work for either of us.”

It was nice that they had realized this before curses, fists, or bullets started flying, nice that they’d spared their kids the anguish of 312

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seeing their parents at each other’s throats. If more couples realized what Russ and Suzie had—when to call it quits—Donna would happily be out of a job. Russ and Chance wouldn’t be so screwed up.

Naomi would still be alive.

“For the better part of our marriage, I thought it was working.

Russ made me happy, said and did all the right things. But
he
wasn’t happy. And I didn’t know how to make him happy, didn’t know how to give him what he needed. Couldn’t.”

“I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“I did, but it wasn’t enough. Russ needed someone like you, someone special.”

Donna chuckled, not sure whether she had been insulted or not.

Suzie must have seen her uncertainty and quickly added, “I meant that in a good way, not in a competes-in-the-Special-Olympics way, as my kids would put it.”

Now Donna laughed, glad that she could and doubly glad when Suzie joined her.

More tears streamed down Suzie’s face, but this time there were tears of sweetness diluting the bitter.

She peered at Donna and gave a tentative smile. “You’re what he needed. I saw it at the barbecue, how happy he was, how different he was with you than anyone else I’ve ever seen him with, even me.

There was this light in his eyes.”

Donna didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t reciprocate and tell Suzie that Russ was what she needed, even if it was true. “I think Russ is special too.”

“You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

Donna focused on Suzie’s inquisitive, earnest expression. No longer adversaries, they were two women with something in common.

They both loved Russ.

She stopped short of gaping as Suzie smiled at her. “It’s okay to admit. I won’t think any less of you for loving two men. Hell, I applaud you for your bravery.”

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Love and bravery did seem to go hand in hand, especially in her case.

Donna hadn’t thought she could love one man again after Peter, much less two. With Peter she had waited so long before she finally opened up, as much as
she
could open up anyway. She had taken her time and made all the right decisions, or so she’d thought. And Peter had still smashed her heart when he walked out on her.

After the divorce and at almost forty-four, she’d figured her loving and settling down days were over, that there was no hope for her. Angela had known differently.

Donna had to admit Russ and Chance both made her heart go pitter-patter and her pussy instantly moist just being in her zip code.

Just the sound of their voices made her go all soft inside. And when she looked in their eyes, she saw all the good things she could be and have in her life. She saw her future.

Was that love after barely more than a month?

“I think crazy’s more like it,” Donna whispered, almost to herself.

But Suzie had heard and giggled as she slapped Donna on the thigh, then stood and headed for the kitchen. “How about I make us a fresh pot of coffee?”

“I’d like that.”

* * * *

An hour and two flavorful cups of coffee later, Donna felt more relaxed than she ever had in the presence of a woman outside of family in a long time.

At Safe Haven she was always on duty, had to be strong, the leader. Outside of work, well, she really didn’t socialize too much except for family functions, and at those she always felt like she had a big red target on her chest—
here lives a lonely old spinster just
waiting to be fixed up
—that pegged her an outsider even among her blood.

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With Suzie, and aside from the whole BDSM thing, she’d discovered a kindred spirit. She could see why Russ had fallen for her and been willing to live a lie for so long.

Donna had already learned about so many similarities in their childhood that she would have never guessed at, the top one being Suzie had an bossy older sister too who thought she knew what was best for Suzie. There was also the tomboy thing that Donna—and she knew her sister Evelyn—could definitely relate to. And finally, there was the abusive past.

It never surprised Donna when she met yet another woman who’d been a victim of domestic abuse, the problem so much more prevalent than the general public actually realized.

She could understand why BDSM would hold no attraction for Suzie, even if she was a lot like Donna in many other respects. BDSM

wasn’t for everyone, and before she met Russ, Donna certainly didn’t think it was for her. But she knew the truth now, that BDSM—and Russ and Chance—completed her, that they were all the missing pieces in her life she had been searching for without even knowing it.

She loved them.

The phone on the end table rang. Suzie lifted the cordless and greeted the person on the other end. Her face lit up when she heard the voice, and she smiled at Donna.

“I know. I was going to call you. I had a change of heart, and I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long…” She listened for a few seconds, then said, “Why the change of heart? Let’s just say your guardian angel visited me today. You want to talk to her?”

Donna lifted her brows as Suzie handed her the cordless, already suspecting who was on the other end before Suzie confirmed and said,

“It’s Russ.”

Donna unclipped her earring and put it on the coffee table before she brought the receiver to her ear. “How did you know I was here?”

Was he channeling Chance now?

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“I didn’t. I was calling to speak to Suzie. But now that I have you on the line—”

“Before you get upset, I just wanted to help clear the air with Suzie. That’s all.”

“I’m not upset.”

“No?”

“Actually, I’m feeling kind of privileged that you think enough of me to make the effort.”

She let out the breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. She’d been totally prepared for his anger. But his next words told her she wasn’t totally off the hook.

“You know you’re going to be punished for going behind my back after I explicitly told you I had this situation covered.”

Her face quickly heated with a flush. Donna turned her back on Suzie as the other woman got busy pouring herself another cup of coffee. She pressed her lips to the mouthpiece and lowered her voice as much as possible to still be heard by only him. “Is that a promise?”

“
That’s
going to get you an extra lash with the riding crop.”

Just the threat and the deep, raspy sound of his voice had her panties damp. If he said another word, she thought she might just come, but Donna couldn’t help pushing her luck. “How long are you going to make me wait this time?”

“Just know you’ve had it easy so far, slave. I could tease you for hours before I let you come. I’ve been merciful.”

Donna shuddered, her pussy clenching as if he was already inside her. She was ready to meet him somewhere that minute and let him tease her until she screamed from pleasure and exhaustion. But she had to get to work. She’d already let herself get sidetracked enough for one morning. “I’d love to discuss this with you in more detail, but I really have to get to work now.”

Russ chuckled and said, “Put Suzie back on the line, smart-ass.”

Donna turned and handed the phone to Suzie with a laugh. She poured herself another cup of coffee as Suzie finished off her 316

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conversation with Russ, trying her hardest not to listen in before Suzie finally ended the call.

“He’s such a different person since he met you,” Suzie said as she replaced the handset, her voice filled with awe.

“In what way?”

“He sounds like he’s at peace, like he’s finally found a place to lay down his head and call his home.”

“It doesn’t negate anything he has or had with you and the kids.”

“Oh, I know that. He had a home with us, a good life. But every day he was with me, his soul died just a little. I was too hurt and angry to see it then, but I see it now.”

“You sound like my sister.”

“The infamous matchmaker, I presume.”

“Matchmaker, philosopher, resident New Age Wiccan goddess, take your pick.” Donna grinned and brought the cup to her lips, savoring the vanilla and hazelnut tang reminded her of the nonchalant days hanging with her sisters and chatting over flavored coffee just like this, nonchalant days before fixing her up became her siblings’

cause célèbre.

“She sounds like quite a character.”

“She is that.” Donna took another sip of her coffee. She was reluctant to cut her time with Suzie short and was encouraged and surprised by the way the day had turned out. She was feeling kind of at peace herself.

They sat in companionable silence for several minutes before Donna finally finished off her coffee and stood from the sofa. “I hate to go, but I really need to get to work.”

Suzie stood too and walked Donna to the front door. “I’m glad you dropped by today.”

“I am too.”

“I guess I’ll be seeing you this weekend when I drop the kids off.”

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“If not sooner.” She leaned in to pull Suzie into a brief but tight hug before she opened the door to leave. She felt like she had made a new friend.

All the way down to the parking garage in the elevator, Donna had a feeling of well-being and accomplishment that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. At Safe Haven the well-being and accomplishment was short-lived and always tempered with the knowledge that as soon as they got one woman placed in a safer environment away from her abuser—if Donna could talk the woman into leaving her abuser at all—another woman in the same or worse situation would soon be walking through Safe Haven’s entrance in desperate need of help. It was a revolving-door process that never ended. The sufferers and their perpetrators were victims of the cruelest form of social recidivism. And she was just a cog in the system.

At least she could put a stop to her own vicious cycle of catch and release by admitting the truth and telling Russ and Chance exactly how she felt. She would, she decided, as soon as she saw them.

Together would be great, but she would tell them separately, repeat it several times if she needed to.

Donna actually found herself doing something she hadn’t done since she was a kid. She whistled as she walked to her car, a lightness in her step that she hadn’t had since her carefree hoyden days when she’d thought nothing of challenging her brothers and the other neighborhood boys to foot races and other athletic competitions of speed, endurance, and fearlessness. She’d been one of the only girls in her neighborhood growing up who hadn’t been afraid of worms, frogs, and snakes. She had even convinced her parents to let her have a snake for a pet.

Those were the days when she hadn’t been afraid of much of anything, her biggest fears disappointing her parents and alienating her family. She still feared these, but more she feared losing the best 318

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things that had ever happened to her in a long time because she was too stubborn to admit her feelings.

Now that she’d made the decision to share her feelings, she was anxious to see Russ and Chance again,
needed
to see them.

Donna turned when she heard a noise behind her, but didn’t see anything or anyone who could have made it. She told herself she was just being paranoid. Sure Morgan still hadn’t been apprehended, and who knew what kind of friends Luther had on the outside at his disposal and ready to do his malevolent bidding? But would either of them try something in front of the policeman that had been trailing her since Naomi’s murder?

She searched for the unmarked car and breathed a sigh of relief when she found it parked several yards away with the plainclothes cop sitting behind the wheel.

Donna waved, but when she didn’t get a reaction, she walked closer and peered at the driver. Something wasn’t right. He was slumped in his seat, and there was…Oh God, there was blood dripping from a slash in his throat!

She backed up, reaching for the cell phone in her bag a second before the back of her head exploded in exquisite pain.

Donna collapsed to the cold concrete, her cell and most of the contents of her bag skittering across the floor as her right cheek and shoulder suffered the brunt of her fall.

A pair of jeans-clad legs came into her line of sight a second before a booted foot slammed into her midsection.

Donna cried out and went fetal, her arms automatically curving around her stomach in a useless protective gesture.

Her attacker paced around her, mumbling incoherently before he slammed his foot into her back and made her kidneys scream. “You can’t have him, bitch! I won’t let you have him.”

What was he talking about? Have whom?

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Donna rolled to her stomach, lifted up on her hands and knees, and managed to crawl a foot away before her attacker caught her around the collar and dragged her to her feet.

She gazed up into the eyeholes of his ski mask big enough to reveal a pair of the coldest, deadest eyes she had ever seen.

“Morgan?”

“Got a lot of enemies to choose from, do you?” He slammed his fist into her face, and a bright cluster of stars erupted in front of her eyes before he dropped her to the ground again.

Where had all those self-defense classes gone? What had happened to her training?

She couldn’t remember anything about defending herself against a surprise attack in the depths of an underground garage by some raving maniac, but maybe she had been absent the day they covered this scenario.

Donna barely had time to further consider her lapse before that booted foot collided with her ribs. She heard something snap and was sure they were broken.