Shampoo (42 page)

Karen

(accountant Karen, not bitterly
disappointed in me boss’s wife Karen)

and Regina were talking about true
love Friday arvo at work, during Friday afternoon
drinks.

(isn’t it funny how the topic of
love always comes up when alcohol is involved?? It really makes the
world go round…love, not alcohol, although…)

Everyone had left except for us
and Angie

(who I call Missy Moo…she’s like
12),

and their talk made me want to
cry. Karen was saying how she’s never been head over heels in love,
and considering she has two kids, been married and is in her
thirties, I felt really sad for her. She said she thinks she’ll
never find her true love.

(not with that attitude,
Kaz!!!)

My heart broke for her.

Regina, of course, carried on how
Todd is her true love. Spew, vomit. Yeah, if a pothead loser, a
sociopath with no empathy for others is your true love, then good
luck to her.

Our conversation made me realise
Ever isn’t in love with me. It’s not passion and romance and mad
sex and messiness and crazy love between us.

And that’s what I want. Messy
love. Beautiful, messy, I’m insane for you love.

Ever is none of those things for
me. He’d never allow himself to be. He has too much self-control,
and fucking prides himself on it.

It’s starting to get cold. I want
to see the sun set though..…….

So nice here. Just watching the
water and the light as the sun sets.

Think I’m gonna go head to this
restaurant I’ve been dying to check out near here.

7.15pm

I’m home, to Tee ringing, Melinda
and Lach BOTH ringing, and Ever ringing.

Ever asked me to go clubbing for
Luke’s birthday, but he would have just broke my heart again,
ignoring me the whole night.

I told him, “No, I don’t feel like
being ignored for the fiftieth millionth time,” and he interrupts
and goes, “I’m not arguing with you, I WANT you to go,” and I just
went, “No.”

Tough love, baby.

12.11am

Tee and I went to the movies. I
felt bad, neglecting her with all she does for me

(including being the only one on
my fucking birthday to pick up the bloody, broken pieces of me and
take me to the hospital),

so I went and picked her
up.

And guess what we saw – ‘Charlie’s
Angels’!!!

Twice in one day has to be some
sort of a record for me.

The Scooby Gang is going to the
coast tomorrow…debating

(with myself)

about whether I should go or
not.

Upset about Ever. I’m always upset
about him. He seems like a million miles away right now.

Why can’t we make it
work???

Sunday 26 November
2000

9.25am

My baby’s been stolen.

(car, not Ever. I’d have to HAVE
Ever in the first place to have him stolen)

Right out the front of our
house!!

I’ve been ridiculously devastated.
I mean, MY CAR IS MY EVERYTHING.

The worst is, as I was drifting
off to sleep last night, I swore I heard the roar of my baby, and I
jumped up with a heartstart, but then I went, “Nah, can’t be my
car.” And fell promptly back to sleep.

Seven-thirty this morning, Nat and
Dan were frantically shaking me awake, one on either side of me,
yelling, “Your car’s gone!”

I was all, “No it’s not, I parked
it out front.”

“
Well, you may have
parked it outside, but someone has merrily drove off in it,” Dan
replied.

“
FUCK!!!” I bounced out
of bed and dialled triple oh.

(seemed like an emergency to
me)

Police arrived really
quickly

(two hot cops,
actually),

and they entered the house going,
“You know a car being stolen is not really an emergency,
right?”

I shook my head at them. “Me no
comprehend.”

One cop’s lips twitched, the other
(older) one heaved a big sigh. “What sort of car was
it?”

WAS IT?? We’re in past tense
already? Is my car dead??

“
Ah, a midnight blue
Holden Commodore, VN.”

“
That explains it
then,” the young cop declared.

“
Explains
what??”

“
VN’s are THE most
common car stolen,” Older Cop replied.

“
Why??”

(cause they’re so hot? I pondered.
I love my VN)

“
Because when you rip
the ignition console out, the air con knob pulls out easily, and
fits right in the ignition as a key. Takes about two seconds to
steal a VN.”

“
Seriously?” Great idea
there, Holden.

“
Look, I’m not gonna
lie, we don’t recover many stolen cars. And if we do, they’re
usually very badly thrashed. Insurance companies usually just write
them off.” Pause. “Commodores especially are stolen for the sole
purpose of joy rides, just to thrash the engine.”

My heart seriously sank. Never see
my baby again?? I was devastated. I couldn’t fathom it.

I FUCKING LOVE MY
CAR!!!

“
We’ll do a search of
the local area, see if these joyriders left it nearby, but I
wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you. I’d call your insurance
company, get the ball rolling on getting you a cheque.”

Older Cop gave me his card and
they left.

I handled it super
well.

I promptly burst into tears and
started wailing, “It’s gonna be TRASHED, I just know it!” and “I’ll
never see her again!”

Nat tried to console me. Dan
rolled his eyes.

Right before Christmas and my
holidays, no car.

I rang Dad, who was all, “Aw, that
sucks babe!” Then, “Can you put your sister on?”

(thanks Dad!)

Then all I wanted was to hear
Ever’s voice, so I dialled his number to be told by his mum he was
still asleep.

Then I just felt stupid, reaching
out to Ever when he supports me through NOTHING.

So I rang Tee, who cheered me up,
then Lachie and Melinda, cause tomorrow we were supposed to go to
the coast together, and Lachie offered, “We’ll come over and help
you find it, okay, Pinky?”

“
Ugh. I love you
Lachie!!”

“
I know. Just don’t
tell Melinda.”

I heard laughter and Melinda
slapping him, yelling, “Tell me what!! Tell me what!!”

Nat and Dan have left me in my
misery, and gone to the boat with Dad and Cruz.

(thanks Family!!!! Once again,
THANK YOU)

All I can console myself with is
thinking those fuckers that stole my car must have got in, saw all
the pink

(like EVERYWHERE)

and went, “Fuck! We’ve stolen a
girl’s car!”

Ha ha!

1.52pm

OH. MY. GOD.

What an adventure.

Matt and I FOUND MY
CAR!!!!!

So I rang Matt after speaking to
Lachie, cause he was planning on coming to the coast with us too,
and I thought I’d better let him know I wouldn’t be driving
us

(plus maybe I just really wanted
to hear his voice)

and Matt was all, “Shit! That
sucks! That’s awful,” but he didn’t say anything to me saying
Lachie and Melinda were coming over, he just went, “Let me know
what happens,” and we hung up.

Within half an hour, Matt was
here!!! Looking so fucking hot I could barely deal, and all Prince
Charming like, turning up on my doorstep like this in my time of
need.

Evvy NEVER would have done that
for me.

(he’d be all, “Not my chicken-wing
lunch” and “I shouldn’t waste petrol actually driving my
car”)

“
Matt!” I
exclaimed.

(take me now or lose me
forever!!)

“
You’re
here!”

He grinned. I fell.

(literally and figuratively. I
tripped over the rug near the front door)

We waited a bit for Lachie and
Melinda, and when I rang Lach on his mobile and said Matt was here,
Lach was all, “REALLY?? Melin, Matt is THERE. Ahhhh, actually
something has come up, we can’t make it now, so sorry, bye bye,”
and he hung up!

I stared at my phone,
confused.

Matt grinned. “I heard. Let’s go,”
pulling his keys out his jeans pocket

(dear God, I did NOT need to look
at his crotch region in his jeans. I’m weak),

(so Lach was playing matchmaker,
right??)

Matt and I jumped in his Commodore
and searched all the streets in Moorooka. Nothing.

“
Should we go on the
motorway then off at Acacia Ridge?” Matt asked. “Seems like you’d
at least go on the motorway for a bit to let it rip.”

I winced. I lost hope then, cause
if you get on the Ipswich motorway and let it rip, my car could be
in Warwick or Esk by then. “Sure. Let’s try.”

We got on the motorway for two
seconds and exited almost immediately, heading into Acacia Ridge.
It seemed a strange way to go to me, cause if I were a car-stealing
hoon

(instead of just a
hoon),

I’d stay on the motorway and drive
like a motherfucker.

But Matt seemed to have some kind
of detecting instinct happening.

(it was hot!!)

We searched street after
sheet

(aaargh!!!!! I can’t believe I
wrote that)

STREET

(focus!!)

after street after street.
Nothing. Most of them seemed to end in a dead end, so we could
drive past the top of the street without going down it, and see all
the way to the end.

So we drove past one street, and
right at the end you could see a blue car, but was too far away to
be sure. We both saw it, but kept going, and Matt looked at me and
said, “What was that?”

“
I think maybe a blue
Commodore.”

We looked at each other. “Should
we go back?” Matt asked.

I nodded. “I think so. Just to be
sure.”

Matt had to drive on for a bit to
be able to turn back, but as he did an illegal u-turn, he
leadfooted it, getting back to the street super fast.

(was hot. Everything he did today
was hot)

As we got closer, Matt started
laughing. He recognized it as my car before I even did.

(hot)

“
I can’t fucking
believe it!” he laughed. “What are the odds??”

“
Oh. My. GOD!!! IT’S MY
CAR!!!!! IT’S MY FUCKING CAR!!!!!” I started screaming.

Matt just laughed harder. Oh my
God, I was giddy.

The door was all dented and
scratched, the ignition panel on the steering wheel ripped off, my
air con knob was indeed acting as a key, and everything in my car
was ripped and thrown about…

(those fuckers)

But the damage was
minimal.

Neither Matt
nor
I had taken our mobiles
with us

(I thought I was the only one not
up on mobile phones and texting, etc…seems Matt is in the dark ages
with me)

(hot. Something hot about a guy
never on his phone. Like he’s an old school gentleman)

so we had to knock on the house my
car was out front of and ask to borrow their phone.

The lovely couple handed me their
mobile and I rang the cop first.

The cop: “You FOUND
IT?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Where?”

“
Acacia Ridge, not
far.”

“
Still. YOU FOUND IT.”
He sounded truly amazed.

“
Yep. What do I do
now?”

“
Call a tow truck, get
it taken to your insurer. And I’ll close the case!” He sounded so
happy.

Matt and I solved a
case!!!!

(hot)

We waited for the tow truck to
arrive, the couple chatting to us the whole time, then Matt and I
hopped back in his car as we watched my baby being driven
off.

We found my baby!!!!!

“
We solved a case,
Matt,” I said, grinning.

“
I know!! Like we’re
cops!”