She Never Knew (17 page)

In return, William
told her about his job as a real estate broker. He owned his own company and
was quite successful. He enjoyed meeting people and getting to know them so
that he could help families find the right homes that best fit their needs and
wants.

It was the
perfect day. Tyler showed William all of the things his little car could do. William
took a sincere interest in return and told Tyler all about the cars he used to
have when he was a little boy. To Kat, it felt incredible to know that there
were still good people in the world. There were people who cared about her and
her little boy.

When their afternoon
came to an end, Kat and Tyler were reluctant to leave. William told them how
much he enjoyed their company and asked Tyler if it would be okay if he asked
his mother out again.

When Tyler
grinned with approval, Kat blushed. She felt like a school girl again, with
butterflies in her stomach. She really liked William and felt safe with him.
She especially liked the way William included Tyler in their outing together.
He was the kind of man she was looking for, one who accepted her son as a part
of her.

With promises to
get together again soon, Kat and Tyler headed home. As her son played with his
new toy in the car ride home, Kat smiled to herself, reflecting on the nice
time she had had. She was glad she was getting out more and meeting new people.
She was also pleasantly surprised to see how easy it was for her to herself.
She didn’t feel as though she had to pretend to be anyone else. Of course, it
helped that William was so easygoing and for that, Kat was grateful. She liked
that he always put her and Tyler first before talking about himself. She liked
the way he was sensitive to her needs and truly listened to her. She also noted
that he didn’t try to make any moves on her. Instead, he had kissed Kat’s hand
and gave Tyler a bear hug.

This could lead
into something more than just friendship
, she thought, as she pulled into the
driveway of her home. Her apprehensiveness momentarily returned as she
determined that she had some serious thinking to do.

Kat brought
Tyler to church that evening. FaithWeaver was an extension of Kid’s Own
Worship, and was an activity-based program that applied the lesson learned in
Kid’s Own Worship, a church service geared toward young children. Tyler always
looked forward to going and that night was no different from the others.

Instead of going
home like she usually did, Kat walked across the parking lot to the sanctuary.
She knew she had to make some decisions about the changes in her life,
specifically about where her relationship with William may lead. Deep down, she
felt she wasn’t ready to take their friendship to another level, but didn’t
want to string William along, either. It was clear to her that he had enjoyed her
company as well as Tyler’s, but she was conflicted about how much she should
tell him about her past. Did he really need to know these things, and if so,
when would be the right time to tell him? She didn’t want to scare him away,
but at the same time, she didn’t want to lie to him.

Kat needed to
seek God’s advice. Pastor Cullen was out of town visiting his mother and while
she had a very good idea of what he would advise her to do, Kat wanted to take
his earlier advice to invite God into her struggles. She slid into a pew, set
her purse on the seat next to her, folded her hands, and bent her head down in
prayer.

Dear God, she
began. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately. I know I should’ve come to
you a long time ago, but I’m here now and I’m hoping you will hear me.

I like William.
Although we’ve only known each other for two days, I feel like I’ve known him
for a long time. He’s warm, kind, and makes me laugh. Tyler adores him, too. I
feel safe around him and believe I may actually have a chance for a real
relationship.

We talked about
so many things, God. When I told him that my sister and I weren’t on speaking
terms, he was very understanding and supportive. When I told him that Tyler’s
father wasn’t a part of our lives, he didn’t persist for an explanation. He
didn’t jump to conclusions, nor did he judge me. I can’t tell you how much it
meant to me to have someone truly listen to me and laugh with me. Michael and I
used to do that, and I’d forgotten how wonderful that feeling is. In fact, I’ve
missed that feeling so much that it scares me to believe I could actually have
that kind of happiness again.

God, I want to
be honest with William. Should I tell him about what happened to me all those
years ago? Should I tell him that Tyler is a product of rape?”

Kat heard a
metallic noise from behind her. When she raised her head and turned backwards,
she saw Daniel standing in the sound booth. He waved nervously and stooped down
to pick up something he had dropped.

“Daniel?” Kat
smiled, standing up and facing him. She began to walk to the back of the
sanctuary.

“Hi Kat.” He
smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry I disturbed you. I didn’t think anyone was here.”

“Oh, that’s
okay. I was just—uh, I was praying, actually.”

Kat and Daniel
stared at each other for a moment in awkward silence. Finally, he spoke. “I can
come back later to fix this.” He motioned to the small booth in the corner of
the room that housed an electronic sound system.

“No!” Kat
replied, a little too quickly. “I was just finished, anyway. I didn’t realize
you worked here.”

“Actually, I
don’t.” Daniel laughed. “Pastor Cullen told me the other night during Bible
Basics class that the sound had been malfunctioning during services. He asked
me if I would take a look at it. So, here I am.”

“Well, that was
nice of you.” Kat praised. “So you’re going to transfer your membership here after
you complete the class?” She recalled Daniel telling her that he had faithfully
attended church before he moved to the area.

“I sure am.”
Daniel nodded. “Everyone has been so gracious and so kind to me that I feel
like I’m part of the church family.”

“I’m so glad.”
Kat agreed. “I know that you impressed quite a few people when you came in to
help with vacation bible school.” She paused, looking at her watch.

Daniel looked at
her and smiled. “I don’t mean to pry, but are you all right?”

Kat waved a
hand. “I’m fine, thanks.” Before she realized what she was doing, she blurted
out, “I was just asking God if I should tell somebody something about my past.”

“Wow.” Daniel
replied. “That’s a tough one.” He peered at Kat and said, “You know, if I’m not
out of line, I’d like to help if I can. I’ve been told I’m a pretty good
listener.”

Wondering if
this was God’s answer to her questions, she instantly relaxed around him.
Remembering their conversations during vacation bible school breaks and how he
helped her store the church items in her shed, she decided to confide in
Daniel.

“Well, I
recently made a new friend in this person. It’s very possible this new
friendship could turn into a relationship and I don’t know if I’m ready for
that. There are some things in my past that could affect the outcome of this
relationship and I’m wondering if I should tell this person about it now or
wait until what seems to be the right time.”

Daniel whistled.
“It sounds serious.”

“It is.” Kat
said sadly. “I mean, it affects Tyler as well.”

Daniel held a
finger up to his lips and studied Kat for a moment. “Do you want to know what I
think?”

Kat nodded.
Daniel continued, “If it were me, I would probably say something sooner rather
than later. The reason I say this is because this, uh, thing from your past is
obviously bothering you and that’s going to affect your relationship right from
the start. I think sometimes it’s best to be upfront about things so it doesn’t
appear you’re holding back.”

“And so this
person doesn’t feel I’m trying to hide things.”

“Exactly.”
Daniel agreed. “I mean, what do you have to lose? If this person is worthy of
you, he’ll understand. You and he can build on that trust factor going forward.”
He paused for a moment before continuing. “Bottom line is, you need to go with
what your gut tells you.”

Before Kat could
say anything, Tyler bounded into the room. When he saw his mother and Daniel
talking, he ran up to them.

“Hi Mommy, Hi,
Mr. Daniel.”

“Hey, tiny man!”
Daniel held up a hand and Tyler high-fived it.

“Mommy, can we
go home now so I can play with the new car that William got me?”

“Okay,
sweetheart.”

Kat could see
the look of disappointment on Daniel’s face when Tyler mentioned William’s
name. He tried to hide it, but Kat sensed he was a little bit jealous.

Kat thanked
Daniel before they left. In the car ride home, Kat thought about her
conversation with Daniel and his reaction toward the end.

Why would he be envious?
It’s not like he’s interested in me
. However, the more she thought about
his final comments, Kat decided to go with her gut and tell William about
Tyler’s father. Yes, she was going to tell him about the rape. She was sure he
would understand and that her honesty would bring them closer to a new level in
their budding friendship.

It was a week
later when Kat decided to tell William about her past. They had spoken on the
phone several times since their outing at Harbour Sound, but Kat didn’t want to
discuss something as delicate as her past over the phone. She felt she owed it
to him to tell him face to face. When William invited her to have lunch with him
at his real estate office, she made the choice to bring it up then.

She had thought
long and hard all week about her decision. It was obvious to her through her
phone conversations with William that he wanted to pursue a relationship with
her. Delighted, she desired the same from him, but in the back of her mind, she
knew she had to be open about her past if she wanted any semblance of a healthy
bond between them.

She knew that William
kept Friday afternoons free of obligations to catch up on paperwork and prepare
for open house events on weekends. However, he had dedicated that particular afternoon
to her and wanted to show her some of the homes he was contracted to sell. She
had expressed interest in learning more about his business, so they agreed to
have lunch at his office and tour some of the glorious homes on the waterfront
afterwards.

The evening
before their lunch date, Kat had called William on his cell phone to ask him
how his recent sale went. She knew that he had closed on an expensive home and
wanted to congratulate him. But he never returned her call.

She had called
him again in the morning but he never answered. She became worried and wondered
if he had changed his mind about meeting her. Despite the nagging feeling that
overcame her, she decided to head over to his office just before their
scheduled lunch date. Maybe if she confronted him, she could get to the bottom
of their miscommunication.

When Kat pulled
into the parking lot of Deveraux Realty, she saw that William’s car wasn’t
there. Discouraged, she decided to go inside anyway to see if there was anyone
available who could help her determine his whereabouts. 

As Kat made her
way up the steps, she heard multiple conversations going on. So as to not
disturb potential clients, Kat quietly opened the heavy door and stepped inside
a large parlor. To her right were several mahogany chairs that surrounded a coffee
table. A lovely floral arrangement sat in the center of the table, encircled by
a wide array of interior decorating and gardening magazines. To her left was a
conference room that was being prepared for an upcoming event. As she admired
the furnishings around her, a plump woman in her sixties with silver hair and
high cheekbones entered the foyer to greet her. Her name tag revealed that she
was William’s secretary.

“Hi Rosa, my
name is Kat Brennan. I was hoping I might be able to speak with William.” She
smiled at the woman, confident that she would be able to help her.

Rosa hesitated,
then took Kat’s hands into hers and patted them. “Come over here, dear.” She
led Kat to one of the mahogany chairs and sat down next to her.

“Mr. Deveraux
speaks very highly of you.” Rosa said warmly, looking at Kat with a pained
expression on her face.

Something felt
very wrong here. “What is it?” Kat prodded, searching the woman’s face for
clues. “Did something happen?”

Rosa bowed her
head, as if in prayer. When she looked at Kat, tears had welled in her eyes.
“Mr. Deveraux had a terrible accident yesterday.”

Kat sat there,
her heart rapidly beating.
What kind of accident? A car accident?
She
stared at Rosa and patiently waited for her to elaborate.