She Never Knew (7 page)

Rhonda pushed herself away from the
table and stood up. “I’m going to check on the boys; I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Kat began working on a new kit
as her friend went upstairs. A few moments later, she heard hurried footsteps
descending the stairs. When she looked up, she saw that Tyler was wearing an
Iron Man helmet. She laughed as he ran toward her.

“Mommy, look at me!” Tyler pushed up his
visor so Kat could see his eyes.

“Oh my!” Kat pretended to be awestruck
as she looked at her son. “Who are you supposed to be?”

“I’m the Iron Man!” Tyler exclaimed. By
this time, Eli and Rhonda had joined them. Eli was dressed as Batman and was
flapping his cape as he jumped up and down.

Rhonda and Kat laughed as they watched
their boys chase an imaginary monster into the living room. Rhonda said, “The
boys said they’re hungry, so I’m going to go ahead and make them sandwiches. Do
you want to eat now or wait a little while?”

Kat looked at the clock on the wall and
saw that it was just after eleven o’clock. “Let’s wait a little while. I want
to finish up this craft.”

“Okay.” Rhonda began taking out items
from her refrigerator to make grilled cheese sandwiches for the boys. As she
prepared the sandwiches, Kat continued to work on her craft.

“Tyler asked about his father the other
night.” Kat said, carefully gluing jewels onto a piece of felt material.

“Oh, yeah?” Rhonda paused to look at
Kat, her hands resting on the counter. “How did that go?”

Kat set down her craft and looked behind
her to ensure Tyler and Eli were out of earshot before answering her friend.

“I think it went very well, actually.
But I hate lying to him, Rhonda.”

“I know you do.” Rhonda cut a petite
slab of butter and dropped it into a small frying pan. “What did you tell him?”

“Well, he wanted to know if he would
ever see his father again. You know, in heaven.” Kat reached into an open bag
of jewels and placed an onyx-colored gem in the palm of her hand. “I told him
that his father’s boo boos couldn’t be fixed and that God was taking care of
him now.”

Rhonda nodded in understanding as she
carefully placed a sandwich into the frying pan. “How did he react to that?”
she asked.

“He seemed okay with it, I guess.” Kat
said thoughtfully. “Although, I don’t think he really understands what Heaven
means and what happens to people when they pass on.”

“Kat, I think most of us don’t. We have
this idea of going to Heaven, or going to the other side to spend the rest of
our lives with Jesus.”

“You’re probably right.” Kat applied a
freshly-glued gem to her craft and pressed her finger on it to hold it in
place. “I think the fact that Tyler never had a father in his life somehow
makes it easier to deal with his loss, if that makes any sense.”

“In a way, it does.” Rhonda agreed. “I
think it’s only natural for him to ask questions about his father and the rest
of his family.”

Kat knew Rhonda was referring to Tyler’s
aunt. “Surprisingly, he hasn’t asked and I haven’t told him about Mary. The
only pictures I have around the house are of Michael and my parents.” Kat
released her finger from the jewel and sat back in her chair, a sad expression
forming on her face. “Besides, I don’t know how to explain to my five-year old
that my sister and I haven’t spoken in years.”

Rhonda’s heart tugged for her friend.
She wished she could wave a magic wand that would remove the pain Kat was going
through. “Have you considered calling her, Kat?”

Kat watched Rhonda flip the sandwich in
the pan and press it firmly with her spatula. “Yes, I have. Many times. But I
don’t seem to have the courage to pick up the phone and make the call.”

Rhonda retrieved two salad-sized plates
from a cupboard and set them on the counter. “Well, I won’t pretend I
understand how hard this is for you.” She removed the clip from a bag of potato
chips and poured some on each plate.

 “I think I’m just afraid that she will
not want to talk to me.” Kat said. She got up from her chair and headed to the
refrigerator. “I don’t think I can go through that again,” she said, flinching
at the memory of when Mary blasted her for the loss of their parents.

“I don’t blame you, but do you think
that after all of these years, she’s had time to reflect?” Rhonda turned off
the burner and scooped the gooey sandwich from the frying pan and set it on a
plate. Next, she cut the sandwich into four pieces and transferred two onto the
other plate. Finally, she placed a pickle on each plate.

“Honestly? I hadn’t thought about that.”
Kat removed the pitcher of lemonade from the top shelf of the refrigerator and
set it on a nearby counter. With her hands on her hips, she remarked, “It keeps
nagging at me. I know I need to reach out to Mary.”

“I agree.” Rhonda said, turning to face
Kat. “What’s the worst thing that could happen, though? If she’s not ready to
talk, at least you’ll know.”

Kat poured lemonade into two plastic
cups and set them on the kitchen table. “I suppose. I’ll give it some more
thought.”

“Boys!” Rhonda shouted. “Lunch is ready!”
Squeals could be heard from the living room as Tyler and Eli aborted their
mission of chasing a monster. When the boys came into the kitchen, they sat
down at the table and continued giggling.

Kat carried the plates over to the table
and set them in front of each child. She returned with napkins and said, “Be
careful around these crafts. Do not touch them, okay?” she pointed. The boys
nodded and eagerly began eating their lunch.

The women went to the living room to
continue their conversation in private. After they were seated comfortably on
the couch, Rhonda’s cell phone rang. In the meantime, Marlowe had come in from
the porch and pounced on Kat’s lap. She meowed loudly and began to knead Kat’s
legs as if to suggest that she would soon be taking another nap.

As Kat slowly stroked the exquisite
animal, she thought about Mary and wondered what her life was like. Had she
gone on to open her own practice as a child psychologist? Was she married? Did
she have children of her own?

“That was Robert.” Rhonda said, after
she terminated her call. “He’s been delayed again. Apparently, the new hire
didn’t quite understand how the commission plan worked so he quit.” She removed
her sandals and curled her feet underneath her legs.

“After all this time?” Kat said, incredulous.
“He just spent the last two weeks training this guy!”

“I know. Robert’s not happy about it.
So, he’s going to stay for at least two more weeks and contact the people he
interviewed before.” Rhonda sighed as she rested the back of her head on the couch.

Robert and Rhonda Burns owned and
operated a luggage delivery service that was often contracted out by major
airlines. When luggage was delayed or put on alternate flights due to space
constraints, the delivery service was contracted to transport the luggage
directly to the homes of passengers. Since Butler Delivery Services had
received numerous high ratings from satisfied customers, additional airlines
wanted to initiate delivery service contracts with Robert. While this meant
more income for the Burns, it also meant that Robert would be traveling more
often. The bulk of Robert’s success was due to the fact that he had
well-trained employees who put the needs of airline customers ahead of their
own and that he offered competitive rates.

With Robert away as often as he was, Kat
and Rhonda had become second parents to their sons. Both women were grateful to
have each other to rely on when they had outside obligations to meet.

“So, how are you really doing?” Rhonda
asked.

“I’m doing okay.” Kat replied. “I just
take it one day at a time. If I didn’t have Tyler in my life, I don’t know
where I would be.” Both women turned their heads in the direction of the
kitchen where they could see their boys giggling at each other.

“Have you thought about talking to a counselor?”
Rhonda prodded.

“Sort of. I mean, I know I probably
should, but I’m just not ready for that.” Marlowe raised her head so that Kat
could scratch her chin.

“And that’s okay, too. When the time is
right, you’ll know what to do.” Rhonda smiled. She stretched her legs and
rested her feet on the coffee table.

“I do have an appointment with Pastor Cullen
early next week.” Kat revealed.

“I assume it has nothing to do with
vacation bible school.” Rhonda guessed, raising an eyebrow.

“You assume correctly.” Kat smiled at
her friend. “I need to talk to Pastor Cullen about Tyler’s father and if what
I’ve been telling him is the right thing to do, at least for now.”

“That’s a good idea. I think you’ll be
surprised at how much better you’ll feel after you talk with him.”

“I think so too. At least it’s a step in
the right direction.”

Rhonda considered suggesting to Kat that
she should go out and meet new people, but somehow she didn’t feel that now was
the right time. It was obvious to her that Kat still had inner demons to battle
with first before she was ready to take that step.

Instead she offered, “What do you say we
eat and get those training manuals done?”

“I say let’s do it. I’m hungry all of a
sudden!”

After Kat
dropped off Tyler at Rhonda’s house, she drove to Piney Grove Baptist Church.
Her appointment with Pastor Cullen was this morning and she was very nervous
about their meeting. Only her doctor and the Burnses knew about her rape
ordeal, but after her most recent discussion with Tyler about his father, Kat
knew she needed additional guidance.

When she arrived
to the church, she sat in her car for a few minutes to collect her thoughts.
The night before she had slept fitfully, tossing and turning, rehearsing what
she was going to tell her pastor.

Kat trusted
Pastor Cullen so she didn’t really know why she was so anxious. They had had
plenty of conversations in the past, but those were always geared toward
church-related activities. However, she felt connected to him because of the
way he occasionally opened up about himself during services.
Perhaps that is
his way of healing,
she thought
. If he can share his personal
experiences in front of an entire congregation, I should be able to handle a
simple conversation with him in his office.

When Kat stepped
out of her car, she took a deep breath. It was a warm summer day and the air
smelled of freshly-cut grass. She allowed herself to feel relaxed as being on
sanctuary grounds always seemed to have a soothing effect on her.

Kat walked from
the parking lot to the entrance of the church office. She swung open the door
and walked down a short hallway that led to the restrooms. She entered the
ladies’ room and studied herself in the mirror.
I can do this, she thought.
Just stay focused.

As she exited
the restroom, she turned down another hallway that housed several offices. She
passed the secretary’s office, which was closed. When she reached the end of
the hallway where Pastor Cullen’s office was, she noticed the door was wide
open. She thought back to a time when Pastor Cullen had told his congregation
that his door would always be open to those who seek him.

When she
arrived, she knocked gently on the door. Pastor Cullen turned quickly in his
swivel chair and returned Kat’s smile when he saw her standing there.

“Kat! Come in,
come in!” Pastor Cullen stood up from his chair and circled around his desk to
greet her. He was a handsome man, in his mid-fifties, with dark hair and brown
eyes. He had a kind face and always wore a smile for anyone he came in contact
with. “It’s always good to see you.” He took her hands in his and shook them
gently before motioning to a chair for her to sit in.

When she was
seated, Pastor Cullen took his seat once again and said, “So what brings you to
my office on this beautiful day?”

“Well….” Kat
felt a lump form in her throat. God, this was harder than she thought. “I—I
wanted to talk you about something that’s been bothering me for some time now.”
She swallowed hard as she looked down at her hands.

“It’s okay, take
your time.” Pastor Cullen said softly, a look of concern forming on his face.
He waited patiently for Kat to continue.

Kat raised her
head and faced her pastor with a sad smile. She took a deep breath and said,
“Six years ago, I was assaulted in my home. As a result, I became pregnant and
had a child, whom you know as Tyler.”

Pastor Cullen
sat there quietly, absorbing what he had just heard. He pulled his eyebrows
together in concern and nodded gently for Kat to go on.

“A month before
the attack, my fiancé and parents were killed by a drunk driver. I was—we
were—supposed to get married…” Kat lost her voice, hung her head, and began to
sob.

Pastor Cullen
quickly got up from his chair and hurried around to the conference table where
a box of tissues rested. He handed a tissue to Kat and took a seat in the chair
next to her.