She Never Knew (12 page)

Thinking Pastor Cullen
was referring to the way Kat and Daniel had crashed into each other, she
blushed. He noticed her reaction and tried to suppress a smile. “Daniel said he
thoroughly enjoyed your class yesterday evening. He was impressed with the way
you coordinated the activities among the various age groups.”

Kat replied,
“Well, we missed Elsie but we’re very glad to have Daniel with us. He worked
hard last night, keeping the kids occupied. It was a bit chaotic since it was
the first night, but he was a large part of why it went very smoothly.”

Pastor Cullen
nodded approvingly. “Glad to hear it.”

“Pastor, I just
wanted to thank you again for the other day. You’ve really helped me put things
in perspective. I feel as though I can think more clearly and it’s amazing what
a good feeling that is.”

“You’re very
welcome.” He smiled. “My door is always open to you.”

With a wave, Kat
walked down the hall to her classroom and was surprised to see Daniel was
already inside, setting up.

“Hi Kat!” Daniel
grinned at her when she walked in.

“Hi yourself!”
she replied, setting her tote bag down on the table. “Ready to do battle again
tonight?”

Daniel laughed.
“You know, this may sound corny, but all I could keep thinking about last night
was what a great time I had here.” He stuffed his hands inside his jean pockets
and rocked back and forth on his feet.

Kat grinned. “I
know that feeling all too well.” She began emptying the contents of her tote
bag and making piles, according to age groups. “At first, I thought maybe we
had pushed you too hard.”

“No, not at
all.” Daniel said. “It’s all coming back to me,” referring to when he was a
teenager at camp. A dark look clouded his face for a moment, but then he
brightened.

“So, what do you
have in store for us tonight?” he asked.

During break
each night for the rest of the week, Kat and Daniel spent the time getting to
know one another. He had told her about his childhood, which was for the most
part, normal. He always felt second best to his older brother. It seemed that
no matter what he did, he could never please his father the way his older
brother could. Everything his brother did was perfect in his father’s eyes.

Daniel confided
in Kat that he discovered his mother was unfaithful to his father when he was
around seven years of age. His parents had been arguing in the house when it
came out that Daniel wasn’t biologically his. Since that day, everything had
changed.

His parents
never realized Daniel was in the house and overheard them, and he never
admitted to his father what he had heard, but from that day forward, his father
treated him differently from his older brother. It was almost as if overnight,
Daniel became second best to everything his older brother did. It was obvious
to Daniel that his older brother was unaware of his mother’s infidelity.

Daniel watched
his father grow bitter over the years. When he was a teenager, his mother ran
off with another lover, leaving her two sons behind to fend for themselves. At
the same time, his father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Daniel felt
he owed his life to the man who raised another man’s child.

When his father
was on his deathbed, he finally admitted to what Daniel already knew. He
apologized profusely for treating Daniel as inferior and told him that he truly
loved him, despite that fact that he was a reminder of one of his mother’s
trysts. Daniel had held his father’s hands and told him that none of that
mattered anymore. No matter what had happened, his father continued to raise
him as his own, and he was forever grateful for that.

What he didn’t
tell his father before he died was just how much he hated his mother for
tearing apart his family. When she walked out on them, he had never seen her
again.

That was a heavy
burden for a little boy to carry for all of those years. Even as a grown man,
Daniel seemed to have accepted his family history, but Kat could see that his
past still haunted him.
Was there more to the story?

Kat told Daniel
about her parents’ death and that her sister blamed her for it. She didn’t
mention the rape, of course, as she wasn’t ready to tell people. When Daniel
asked her about Tyler’s father, Kat had simply said that Michael was his
father. God, she hated lying to people, especially Daniel, since he had shared
his past with her. But she really didn’t have a choice right now. Besides, it
was no one’s business, anyway.

Daniel looked at
Kat with sad eyes. His face was full of deep regret, which startled her and
touched her at the same time. Kat brushed this off as nothing more than genuine
concern from a new friend.

He told Kat that
his primary reason for becoming a camp counselor during his teenage years was
to help kids realize how special they were, that family breakups were never
their fault. He didn’t want kids to feel rejected the way he did most of his
young life.

When Bible
school ended that week, Kat found herself missing her talks with Daniel.
However, she didn’t feel comfortable calling Daniel on the phone. The truth
was, she didn’t feel comfortable being alone with any man, for that matter. She
truly liked him and found him attractive, but didn’t know if she could ever have
more than friendship with Daniel.

Besides, Daniel
never indicated to Kat that he wanted anything more than friendship with her.
He had briefly mentioned his last relationship ended in disaster when he found
out his fiancé had been unfaithful to him.

The friendship
bond between Daniel and Kat was enough for now. She prayed that she would see
him again very soon.

Kat was making lemonade in her kitchen
when she heard the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it!” Tyler shouted from his
bedroom. He ran down the stairs and met his mother at the door. When she saw
who was standing outside, she allowed Tyler to open the door.

“Hi, Sarah!” Kat greeted her friend.
“Come on in.” She and Tyler stood back so that Sarah could enter.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” Sarah apologized
as she stepped into the foyer. “I made a wrong turn and ended up having to go
all the way back around.”

“Not a problem. This neighborhood isn’t
exactly easy to find.”

“You must be Tyler!” Sarah smiled,
looking at the blond-haired boy who was partially hiding behind Kat.

“Hi.” Tyler replied shyly, looking at
his bare feet.

“Tyler, this is Miss Sarah. I met her at
the Taekwondo class for mommies, remember?”

“Yes.” Tyler suddenly appeared bored and
hopped on one foot. “I’m going back to my room now.”

After Tyler went upstairs, Kat led Sarah
into her living room. “Would you like some lemonade?” she offered.

“I’d love some! Have you been outside
today? It’s beastly out there!”

“Only to get the mail. I thought I was
going to melt.” Kat went to her kitchen to fix their drinks while Sarah admired
the photos on the mantel.

When Kat returned to the living room,
Sarah pointed to the picture of Kat’s parents. “Are those your folks?”

“Yes. That picture was taken after my
graduation ceremony six years ago.”

“Who’s the guy standing behind them?”

“My fiancé.” Kat said softly. “Michael.”

Sarah looked at Kat and could see she
touched upon a sensitive subject. “I’m sorry if I brought up painful memories.”

“You didn’t.” Kat reassured her. “I just
miss them terribly, that’s all.” She explained the accident that claimed all of
their lives.

“How awful! I’m so sorry!” Sarah said,
with an expression of empathy. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been
for you.”

“It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. I
think about them every day.”

Sarah bowed her head, as if in prayer.
When she looked at Kat again, she said, “What do you say we get started?”

An hour later, Kat and Sarah ended their
practice session. They went to the kitchen for refills and sat down at the
kitchen table.

“I thought we did pretty well, don’t
you?” asked Kat.

Sarah nodded in agreement. “I’m glad we
decided to do this. How did you find out about the class?”

“Tyler attends the Tiny Tigers class.”
Kat explained. “One night during practice, Dottie mentioned that she was going
to set up a class for women only, so I signed up.”

Sarah smiled. “I’m glad you did. It’s
always nice to make a new friend.”

“It sure is.” Kat took a sip of her
lemonade. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“When it happened to you—your attack,
that is—what did you do afterwards?”

“You mean, how did I deal with it?”
Sarah asked. “Well, first I was in shock that something like that happened to
me. I mean, it’s only been four months, but my husband has been incredibly
supportive. If it weren’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be today.”

Kat let this sink in. “How did he react
to that?”

“He was in disbelief, like it was all
surreal somehow.” Sarah sipped her drink. “I think underneath it all, he was
enraged at some point. I really don’t remember much of his reaction since I was
in the hospital for treatment.”

Kat nodded in understanding. “I was in
the hospital for three days. My doctor gave me a referral to see a counselor,
but I never went.”

“You might want to reconsider, even
after all this time.”

“Funny you mentioned that. My pastor
suggested the same thing.”

“The reason I went—and I went alone at
first—is because I had a hard time opening up to my husband about it. Tom
blamed himself for not being there when I needed him the most and I didn’t want
to remind him of that by talking about it. It became stressful to the point
where we realized our marriage was in trouble if we didn’t seek counseling as a
couple.”

Kat stared at her friend with
admiration. “Do you think your husband somehow felt he failed you?”

“Oh yeah, but now he understands what
happened was out of his control. He tries not to show it for my sake, but I
know it still bothers him.”

Kat excused herself to check on Tyler.
When she returned, she confided in Sarah that Michael was not Tyler’s father.

Sarah looked at Kat and shook her head.
“Wow. He doesn’t know, does he?”

“No, he doesn’t and I’d like to keep it
that way, at least for now.”

“Was he ever caught?”

“No.”

The women sat in silence for a few
minutes, each one thinking about the other.

“Kat, how on earth did you recover from
this?”

“I’m not sure I fully have.” Kat
replied. “It was a month after my parents and Michael died when I was raped. As
odd as it sounds, I think being pregnant gave me a reason to go on.”

“Really?”

“Yes. At first, I wanted nothing to do
with the baby, and I didn’t know I was pregnant until I moved here.” Kat
explained to Sarah how she and Michael discovered their house together. “I felt
safe here and because Michael grew up as an orphan, I felt somehow this baby
was a way for me to heal, to love a child the way Michael had never been loved
by his parents. Sounds weird, huh?”

“Not at all. I think it makes perfect
sense. You must have had some deep soul searching going on then.”

“Believe me, I prayed long and hard
about it.” Kat finished her lemonade and motioned upstairs. “I know I made the
right decision. I don’t know where I would be without Tyler.”

“I know what you mean.” Sarah agreed. “I
have two little girls and without them, I think I would’ve had a tough time.
Tom is great, don’t get me wrong, but knowing your children need you is a whole
different story. They are the reason we continue on.”

“That, and our faith.”

After a moment of silence, Sarah spoke
quietly. “Kat, when was the last time you went out on a date?”

Kat looked sadly at her friend. “Uh,
actually, I haven’t been out on a date since Michael—I never wanted to.” Kat
felt a lump form in her throat.

“I’m sorry.” Sarah comforted. “I know
how you feel.”

“Honestly, I’ve never really thought
about it. My life has always been about Tyler. I put all of my focus on him.”

“But don’t you think that might be doing
more harm than good?”

“How do you mean?” Kat looked at Sarah
quizzically.

“What I mean is that you need time for
you, too. Tyler needs to see his mother socialize. He needs to understand that
going out with people is part of everyday life.”

“Well, I’m not afraid to go out; I just
don’t do it. I’m happy with things just the way they are.”