Sheet Music - A Rock 'n' Roll Love Story (70 page)

“When did you start seeing a therapist?” she asked, attempting small talk, as she slipped her fingers beneath his t-shirt.

“In rehab, but I’ve continued to see one, on and off, since I got out.  It’s helped me work through a lot of my issues with Brian’s death, our divorce…” he paused thoughtfully, lowering his head to catch her eye and then holding her gaze.  “…the love I still have for you.”

“I’m really glad you’re getting help,” she replied, forcing herself from making eye contact with him.

“Well, I’ve gotten nothing but good advice, up until now.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, slowly inching her fingers around the scar tissue marking up his otherwise smooth skin.

Michael sighed.  “He advised me to try and get you to open up about some of the hurt involved in our break-up.  He thought that might bring closure to some of our combined pain and enable us to move beyond it with some sort of resolve.  He also thought it might even encourage a reconciliation between us.  But, it’s clear to me now I’ve been mis-reading the signals.  So, thanks to him, I’m sitting here feeling pretty stupid, thinking I actually had a chance.”

Annie hit the tender area on his arm and he grimaced loudly.  “What signals?” she asked, her fingers quickly moving away from the spot.

He turned to face her, the moonlight reflected off his clear blue eyes.  For a moment, he just stared at her.  Then his eyes dropped to his lap.  “When I got here at the beginning of the summer I saw nothing but hate and disgust in your eyes.  It was obvious you could barely stand to be in the same room as me.  But, as the days wore on, I watched your face soften when we talked.  I even caught you giving me a smile once in a while. About a month ago, I began to notice how excited you got when I arrived and how disappointed you seemed when it was time for me to leave.  Then that whole thing with Jay exploded, and I probably shouldn’t have, but I allowed myself a bit of hope we’d get back together.”

He shook his head and glanced toward the water.  “Shit, you even said Jay noticed something lingering between us.  So I know I wasn't the only one imagining it.  Your kiss has never lied to me before.”  Then he turned and faced her.  “But then I guess I was the only one really
feeling
it.”

Annie pulled her fingers out from the warmth beneath his shirt and folded them in her lap.  Her breath was fast and labored.

“Your arm feels fine to me.  But you might want to call your doctor just in case,” she said, avoiding his heavy eyes.

Michael inhaled deeply.  “I love you, Annie, but like you’ve said before, maybe love alone isn’t enough to make this work,” he sighed.  “I’ve been thinking a lot about the kids lately.  I don’t want them to be exposed to our constant fighting anymore.  I called my lawyer while I was back in Boston, and he’s drawing up my visitation wishes.  Maybe that’s the route we really should consider.  That way I could pick them up on my scheduled days and you’d never have to see…”

“Michael,” she said, cutting him off in mid-thought.  “What if I said you weren’t mis-reading the signals.”

His eyes tightened as if he were trying to determine what he had just heard.  “What do you mean - exactly?”

“What would you say if everything you just said was true?”

“Go on, I’m listening.”

“After we divorced I had every intention of hating you until the day I died for what you put me through.  And, then you showed up that day back in July, looking so damn good.  Your head was clear, you were sober again, and you said and did all the right things.”

Annie pushed the hair off her face and smiled brightly.  “Again, I found it difficult being in the same room as you - but this time it was for completely different reasons.”

His mouth curled into a shy grin.  “Really?”

She nodded.

“How about now?  Are you having difficulty sitting this close to me?”

“Yes.”

“Does your chest feel tight, like you can’t draw a breath into your lungs?  Is your heart pounding hard and your palms all sweaty?”

Annie giggled knowingly and wiped her hands off on her thighs.  “Why?  Is it that obvious?”

“No, I was describing to you how
I
was feeling.”

“Really?” she asked.

“I’ve been telling you all along how I feel, Annie.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”

“We’re divorced, for God’s sake.  We’re not supposed to be feeling anything for each other, except contempt.”

He nodded with a relaxed smile.  “We got divorced before we had a chance to experience the marriage.  And before you say it, I’m accepting full responsibility for all of it.  I fucked up, Annie.  It was me.  My therapist thinks I did it all deliberately to sabotage our relationship, because I felt unworthy of your love.  And, you know what?  In some perverse way, I think he’s right.  You were perfect in my eyes and I always felt you were too good for me.  That I didn’t deserve your love.  And in the middle of all that, Brian died, and my whole world came crashing down around me.  In the matter of a few months, I lost you, my kids, my brother, my career and my band.  I was left with nothing.  And out of all of that, what bothered me most was that I had lost your love and respect.  The one consistent thing I thought I could always count on, no matter how badly I screwed up, and that was gone too.  I could say I’m sorry a thousand times a day from now until I die and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

Annie wiped a lone tear from her cheek.  “You aren’t the only one to blame for the collapse of our marriage, Michael.  I was a part of it too.  I’ve been struggling with trust issues with men since my childhood.  I didn’t exactly make it easy for you - that’s for sure.  I’m sorry.  Maybe you should give me the name of your therapist?” she said, forcing a laugh.

Michael smiled.  “I've never known a musician that is emotionally
well-adjusted
,” he laughed.  “I guess that's what makes us true artists.”

Annie touched his leg.  “I’m so scared, Michael.  I’m not supposed to still have these feelings for you but, I do.  It’s wrong.”

He reached out, slipped his hand around her neck and pulled her toward him until their cheeks touched.  She could feel his soft breath against her neck.  The spot where his fingers touched her skin felt electrified.  Annie closed her eyes, pressing out new tears from the corners.

“Does this feel wrong?” he sighed, brushing her lips with his but not kissing them.

Nervously she shook her head.

“How about this?” he asked, kissing the soft fragrant skin beneath her earlobe.

Then his mouth found hers and gently connected for a kiss so tender and delicate it made Annie tremble.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she sighed, feeling his arms slide around her body, wrapping her in the protective blanket of his warmth.

He pulled her tighter against his body.  “This may sound crazy, Annie, but our paths crossed years ago for a reason and I believe the author of our story isn’t done writing it.  I still feel we have too much left to give each other and experience together as a couple”

“How can you be so sure of this, after everything we’ve been through?”

He pushed the hair off her face and smiled warmly.  “It’s because of everything we’ve been through that I feel so certain about this.  I mean, look at us right now.  You can’t sit here and tell me you don’t feel the chemistry between us.”  He pressed his face against her cheek and exhaled heavily, the vibrations sending shivers down the length of her spine.

“Please tell me you’re feeling it too,” he whispered.  “Tell me you can feel the heat of my touch, my kiss, my body against yours.  Admit to me that the intensity of our closeness overwhelms you, makes your skin ache to be touched.  Say it out loud, and I promise to spend every day for the rest of my life proving to you the reasons why we should be together.”

She tipped her head back exposing her throat.  His mouth quickly covered her warm flesh, his tongue savoring every square inch.  She closed her eyes delirious with passion.

“Say it, babe,” he spoke, softly kissing her ear.  “Tell me what you feel.  Say it out loud so I can hear it.”

Her arms closed around his smooth neck.  Her fingers entwined themselves in the loose curls of his hair.  His words swirled in her head.  She had spent too many months ignoring her true feelings and now it was almost painful to admit it out loud.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lips softly.  “It’s okay, babe.  Just say what you feel. Whatever it is, I’ll accept it.”

Heavy tears fell from her eyes and his mouth kissed each one away.

“Yes, I still feel it, every cell of my body is on fire right now.  I feel drunk, exhilarated, as if I’ll explode if you don’t make love to me this instant.  Is that what you want to hear?”

“Only if it’s the truth,” he answered, his tongue tracing the outline of her lips.  “Is that what you truly feel, deep…down…inside?”

“Oh God, yes,” she replied breathlessly.

A full smile appeared on his face.  “You have no idea how happy you just made me,” he said, hugging her tightly.

She pressed her face against his chest.  She could hear the heavy beat of his heart thumping beneath his rib cage.  “Michael, why don’t we go inside and I’ll put an ice pack on your arm.  I’m sure by now it must be really hurting.”

She stood and tugged him to his feet.  He slid an arm around her waist and they proceeded slowly toward the deck.  Then suddenly he stopped in the sand.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, seeing the reluctance in his face.

“Annie, I’ve got to tell you, if I go inside that house with you right now, it will take a courtroom and a judge to get me to leave it again.”

She smiled.  “I’m okay with that,” she replied, squeezing his hand.  They took several more steps and he stopped again.

“There’s something else I should tell you,” he said, pulling her against his body.

“What?”

“There’s a strong probability that I will attempt to make love to you once we get inside.”

Annie lightly touched his cheek with her fingers and smiled.  “I think I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

Annie tossed his leather jacket across the back of the couch and headed for the girl’s bedroom.  “Why don’t you take your shirt off so I can take a look at your arm in the light,” she instructed.

“They’re both still sleeping,” she announced, returning to the kitchen.  Michael stood by the kitchen sink gazing out the window with his back to her, naked to the waist.  Annie raised a hand to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape her mouth at the sight of him.  His hair, long and wild, hung past his shoulders and almost seemed to draw the eye down the length of his muscled back.  His skin was darkly tanned and smooth with a small outcropping of fuzz at the base of his spine that peeked from above the waistband of his faded jeans.  Annie’s eyes lingered there, as she remembered the soft texture of it brushing against her cheeks and lips.

At the sound of her voice, he turned around.  “You know, I don’t think I ever told you how much I like what you’ve done to the house,” he commented. “The extra room you had built makes the house look so much…”

Something about her expression made him stop in mid-sentence.  “Is something wrong?” he asked.

Annie nervously shook her head.

“Are you sure?  Your face is all flushed.”

She tipped her head and smiled at him.  “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you undressed like that,” she finally said.

He laughed and took two steps closer.  “Actually, it’s only been about two weeks, Annie.  Remember?  You came home with Jay and found me sleeping on the couch with Angel on my chest.”  His arms reached for her and slid around her waist.  “And, if I remember correctly, you had the same expression on your face then, as you do right now.”

She playfully slapped his bare chest.  “Don’t be so full of yourself.  Now, sit down and let me take a look at your arm.”

Looking like the cat that swallowed the canary, he sat with his back facing her.  With nervous fingers, she pushed his hair to one side, exposing the back of his neck.  Her eyes immediately settled onto the skin there.  Then, without thinking, her mouth shamelessly descended upon it.  The tip of her tongue tasted first, then her whole mouth, as she savored every inch of flesh, progressing from the curve of his neck to the soft spot behind his ear.  She was lost in her own world and thoughts until she heard him groan his appreciation.

“That feels really good,” he sighed.

Hearing the soft purr of his voice made her freeze.  “I’m sorry, I was supposed to be looking at your arm, wasn’t I?”

He reached behind and took her by the hand, gently tugging.  Then he straddled her legs across his lap.  His hands pressed against the small of her back, tipping her hips forward against the growing hardness in his groin.  “Annie, don’t ever be sorry for touching me.  I love it when you do.”

The pit of her stomach fell.  A heavy pulse began to beat in the heat between her thighs.  “Michael,” she gasped, squirming against his lap.  “Hearing you say things like that drives me crazy.”

He smiled with smugness.  “I’m glad.”

Her fingers touched his shoulder.  “Want me to take a look now?”

“My shoulder feels fine but I have another ache that you might want to take a look at,” he smiled, pressing her harder against the zipper of his pants, and kissing her mouth eagerly.

“Maybe I should get an ice pack for that,” she replied with a smile.  Then she slipped her hand between their bodies and squeezed him affectionately.  “It might help the swelling you have.”

He tipped his head back and laughed.  “Actually, I was thinking we should apply heat to it instead.  Do you have anything hot enough that might relieve my ache?”

When he emphasized the word, ‘hot’, every nerve ending in her body broke into a sweat.  When he took her mouth with his, he possessed it, skillfully using his tongue to devour her.  It was as if he were taking something back that he had lost long ago, and it left her lightheaded and breathless.  He pushed a hand between them and cupped her sex in his palm.

“Michael,” she sighed, elongating his name to the point where it sounded almost lyrical in tone.  “Let’s go to bed.”