Shifting Gears (26 page)

He slides down, gliding his hands down
my sides and begins licking every inch of exposed skin, not leaving
any part of me untouched. When he gets to my belly, he stops and
kisses it.

Keeping his hands on my hips, he moves
his mouth down and down, to where I’m burning for him. When his
tongue nips between my folds, teasing me, I cry out. As he begins
to raise his head to look at me, I push it back down and hear him
growl. He buries his face in me again then rolls his tongue around
my lips, separating them to find my clit then goes in deeper,
sucking me, driving me over the edge. I call out his name
again.

“That’s it, baby, tell me how fucking
good it feels.”

“Oh my God, Holt, it feels so good.
Please, please.”

“Your wish will always be my command,
baby.”

If I have to give to get, right now he
can have any fucking thing he wants. He drives his tongue into me,
taking his time, slowly licking and sucking while he continues to
tease my clit. I am delirious.

He lifts his head up then crawls
toward me. I can’t help but bite my lip at watching him, and as he
reaches my face, he kisses me deep. I can feel my saltiness on his
lips and now on my tongue.

“Want you to taste what I taste,
babe.”

I lick my lips, not taking my eyes off
him. “Hmm, I taste good.”

“Fuck,” he groans and rushes back
down, going into a frenzy of sucking and lunging.

My heart is racing, and I feel as if
I’m about to explode. I can’t stop it. Climbing higher and higher.
I’m reaching, begging, as I squeeze my legs tightly around
him.

I scream out at the pleasure as I
quickly come from the onslaught. The wave hits me, and when it
does, my whole body rolls with it, shaking all the way to my curled
toes. I can’t control it, even if I wanted to. He jerks his body
back up to me as another whimper escapes my lips, his eyes hungry.
He brings his lips to mine again, my saltiness still
there.

I swipe my tongue across my lips as he
watches. He raises a brow as he slowly grins.

When I bite my lip, he growls again.
“Fuck.”

He rolls off me, and before I know it,
he’s off the bed and standing over me. He kicks off his jeans then
grabs my ankles and yanks me to the edge of the bed. I wrap my legs
around him and arch my hips up, begging for him.

He doesn’t waste any time as he pounds
into me, and I scream. I raise my hips to him, trying to get him
deeper. His thrusts are demanding. He needs his release as much as
I do. When he grips my hips, holding me in place, it catapults me,
sending me over the edge.

“Holt, I’m going to... I can’t
hold…”

“Take it, baby, tell me how it
feels.”

“Holt, oh my God, please don’t stop.
Don’t stop.”

He drops his hands and squeezes my
ass, and I tighten my legs around him. He’s building now too, as a
faint grunt escapes his throat. He shoves his cock in and out of
me. More demanding, faster. He grabs my breast, squeezing, pinching
my hard nipple.

“Fuck.” He moans as he comes with
me.

My head is hot and swimming, my legs
still quivering, and my heart is racing so fast from the ache and
need of coming. I close my eyes, not wanting the feeling to escape.
Sucking it to the last drop. I can feel his warmth inside me all
over. Perfect. Bliss.

When I look at him, his eyes are still
closed, his body still arched. To watch him come off his high. God.
Beautiful. He slowly tilts his head back down to meet my eyes, and
we stare at one another. I can’t help but feel that in that instant
that neither of us want to let go. I want him to stay inside me
like this forever. Nothing between us. Ever.

Eventually, I reluctantly drop my legs
away from him as he pulls out of me. I immediately feel his
absence, and an emptiness overcomes me.

He leans down on me, crushing his
chest to mine. “Say it again, baby. I need to hear it.”

I smile at him, and, without
hesitation, say the words I hope one day to hear from him in
return. “I love you.”

He kisses me softly on the lips, and
my body shivers, still on fire. He then lifts himself off me, off
the bed. I turn my head to see him grab his jeans, and watch his
beautiful body glimmering in the moonlight as he pulls the jeans up
to rest low on his hips.

He leans over and kisses my forehead.
“I’ll be right back”

I can’t move, still numb from the
pleasure he gave me as he walks out of my bedroom. His footsteps
drift down the hallway but then stop as I hear the rush of the
water coming from the faucet in the bathroom.

I lie there in pure bliss. I told him
I loved him. I told Holt I loved him. I put it out there. Went for
it. For the first time in my life. I just went for it. It felt
good, and what it got me in return...a dream come true.

Holt comes back into my room, carrying
a washcloth. When he sits on the edge of the bed, he opens my legs
and washes me with the warm cloth. Um, yeah, that’s new. He never
did anything like this in those three months we were together. The
intimate yet simple act leaves me with a sense of being taken care
of. Of being loved. He hasn’t said the words, but somehow I know he
does.

He lays the washcloth on my nightstand
then slides his jeans off again and crawls back into bed with me,
covering us with my quilt. I’m still completely naked.
Instinctively, I want to grab my tank and shorts; yet having his
body next to mine, feeling his warmth, it feels natural. I nestle
my head into his shoulder and wrap my arm and leg around
him.

We lie there in silence for a while.
For the first time, we have a better understanding of one
another.

“You know, babe, when I get you naked,
fuck, you’re like a different person.”

I laugh, embarrassed, not knowing what
to say because it’s true. It’s because of him: he makes me forget
everything. “I know,” I whisper shyly.

He chuckles and tightens his hold on
me. “Babe. Wanna ask you something. I hope it doesn’t piss you
off.” He hesitates and then asks, “Was there anybody after
me?”

The blow to my chest from his
unexpected question makes me breathless. I bury my head in his
shoulder. “No, Holt. No one.”

It isn’t a lie. Just not exactly the
truth either.

“Good. Gonna stay that way,
babe.”

He’s staking his claim, and the
thought makes me smile. Even though he hasn’t said the words I want
to hear, this is enough, somehow. For now.

“This is going to sound crazy as hell,
but why is it that every time we have sex, it feels like the first
time?”

I look up at him and smile, completely
understanding what he means. “I know, I feel it too.”

Silence finds us again, wrapped up in
each other’s arms. I want to know everything about him. Every tiny
detail. I lift my head from his shoulder to rest my chin on his
chest. I trail my finger along his jaw line, feeling the stubble of
his unshaven face. To touch him, to feel him next to me, I will
never get enough. Never. He’s looking out the window, out into the
darkness, as I continue along his face, stopping at his lips, where
I force them apart with my finger.

“How did Kilo get his
name?”

He slowly turns his head away from the
window and peers down at me. His eyes have a hint of storm in them,
but they quickly change as he gives me a playful grin. “Well, it’s
funny. It’s almost like we really are a tag team. Ridding the world
of drug dealers.” He laughs, and I can’t help but chuckle at the
thought of the two of them together like a superhero and his
sidekick.

“Kilo was always around that
shitty-ass motel I was staying in while I was waiting to make my
move against that fucker. He was a stray, a lot skinnier than he is
now, and dirty. Almost couldn’t tell he had a white coat. I was
working as a bouncer at one of the nightclubs nearby, and he would
follow me, waiting outside until I came out.

“The first few nights he followed me,
I didn’t realize it, but after about the fourth night, I picked up
on it and started letting him ride in the car with me. That made me
realize quickly that he stank, so I went out and got him all kinds
of shit and cleaned him up. Even brushed his teeth. He would ride
back and forth with me to work and just stay outside until I got
off.

“I knew he was mine one night when I
had to kick these fuckers out for passing ecstasy around. One of
them tried to turn on me as I was pushing him out the door. Kilo
must’ve seen it and came out of nowhere, attacking the fucker until
he could barely break away from his hold. Funny as shit to watch.
After that night, he became my partner, my backup.

“I went out and bought him a collar
and a leash and started calling him Kilo, thinking I could see him
busting some balls in the drug world.”

“Wow, why am I not surprised by any of
that? That name fits him well, Holt. I looked it up after you
brought him in that first time. It means to lead humanity, an
overall peacemaker but can become aggressive, intense, out of
control if needed. Now that I know his story, totally
Kilo...”

I press my body up against Holt as my
eyes grow heavy. He wraps his arm around my waist, and I sigh. As I
doze off, I have visions of Holt and Kilo picking off the bad guys
one by one.

The heat of the sun on my face wakes
me up. I immediately feel the absence of Holt and discover I’m
alone in bed. Once again, panic overcomes me. This is some of the
shit we have to talk about, but I know it will force me to reveal
much more than I’m ready to give him. At least right
now.

I don’t know how he’s going to react
to it, what he’s going to think of me, but I do know that if
whatever we have between us now is going to go somewhere, I have to
do what Cass said and throw it all out there. I need to know what
his plans are, though. Is he really here on a job or did he just
come back for me? I have to know, so I know where we stand. I pull
myself out of bed, and as I open my bedroom door, the smell of food
cooking hits me. Aunt Helen is making breakfast. I’m guessing Holt
has joined her.

I make my way downstairs after putting
some clothes on. I ended up spending the entire night naked,
quickly discovering that it not only felt natural to fall asleep
with him like that, it helped speed things up when we woke in the
middle of the night, hungry for each other again.

I walk into the kitchen, looking for
Holt, but I don’t see him.

Don’t freak, Nik. Relax.
He’s here...somewhere... Right? He didn’t leave.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Morning, Aunt Helen.”

She winks at me. “Sleep
well?”

My cheeks are suddenly warm. Shit, I
bet she heard. I knew I was too loud. Damn. “Um, yes, I did,” I
manage to get out. It’s driving me crazy not knowing if she heard
or not, but no way in hell am I asking her.

“Good. I wasn’t sure with all that
racket coming from Kilo. He was barking his head off last night.
Didn’t you hear it?”

I think back but can’t remember
hearing him bark. But then I was rather preoccupied with the
beautifully naked man in bed with me. “No, I didn’t hear
him.”

She smiles again. “Hmm.”

Yep, she knows. Damn.

“You know, I don’t think I’d be
hearing a barking dog either, with a man like that in my
bed.”

Holy hell. Did she just say
that?

“Aunt Helen!”

“What? You thought I didn’t know? I
mean, really, sweetheart, I might be old, but I could still see the
way you two were looking at each other all through dinner and on
that porch last night. Pretty sure the devil himself couldn’t pull
you away from one other.”

I do not want to get into this
conversation with her right now. What if Holt walks in and
overhears? I try to shush her.

“Oh, and you can tell that hunk of man
there’s no need for him to sneak back to the guest room at the
crack of dawn. Aunt Helen sees all.”

So
that’s
where he is. I relax
a little as some of the tension and fear disappears. He’s safely in
the other room.

Aunt Helen puts a plate of food on the
table for me and motions for me to sit.

“I’m going to wait until Holt gets
up.”

“Doll, he’s not here. He and Kilo
hightailed it outta here not long after I saw him coming out of
your room.”

Those sharp fingernails begin their
assault on my body again. I turn away and try to remain calm. I
can’t let her see how frantic I am. How out of my mind insane I
just became. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I saw Holton come out of his
room, grab Kilo’s leash, and the two of them walked out, got in his
car, and drove off.”

Oh my God. Oh...my...God. Did he? No.
Not after what he told me last night. He wouldn’t. Would he? But
wait, he did say he knew he didn’t deserve me. I deserved better.
He couldn’t make me any promises.