Shifting Gears (30 page)

I cry out, “Oh my God,” as he begins
to make my vision a reality, spiraling me into sweet
oblivion.

Thanks to Holt, my desire has
temporarily subsided as I walk out of the bathroom. Bare ass.
Again, thanks to Holt. A line has formed outside the door. Damn. I
bury my head in Holt’s chest, thinking they’re pissed off about
having to wait so Holt could fuck me senseless. Instead, as he
leads us down the hall, they start clapping. One woman says, “Damn,
I wish I could get a man to make me scream like that.”

Oh my God, they heard us. We had an
audience. Shit. I’d never thought of having sex in public before,
and now not only had I done it, I’d been so caught up in wanting
him, I hadn’t even considered getting caught or someone hearing
us.

I tilt my head up to him, and he’s
grinning his ass off, the discovery not appearing to faze him at
all. He laughs and says, “Whoops.”

I can’t decide whether to be mad at
him or not. After all, what he just did to me in there was fucking
mind-blowing, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

As we make our way back to our table,
Holt’s arm is firmly on my bare ass. The feeling of possession
comes over me again. The simple act of showing the world I’m
his.

When we get to the table, Ang is back,
talking to some guy I don’t recognize. I hope like hell my
escapades in the bathroom don’t show on my face.

“Hey, Niki, this is Kevin. He’s a
guitarist in one of the bands in the lineup tonight. Their first
time here.”

Of course he’s a guitarist. I hadn’t
thought of it before, but I guess I have a thing for guitarists
too. Well, at least the ones who are badass bounty hunters by
day.

“Cool. Good luck to you.” I twist my
head to look for Cass. “Where’s Cass?”

“She was up there with Gavin last time
I saw her.”

What’s up with that? Maybe that’s why
she was all about getting sexed up tonight.” That reminds me of
something I meant to ask Holt. Despite all the opening up recently,
I know he doesn’t like to share, so I wait until Ang’s attention is
completely on her new friend, which doesn’t take long.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you, how do
you know Gavin?”

“We went to high school
together.”

Damn, that was quick. Is it really
that easy? Is that all it takes—just ask and he answers?

“After I walked in on Mom that night,
I moved in with him for a while. His parents were cool, knew some
of the shit that was going down, so they let me stay there. We got
tight, and we’d jam together lots of nights when his band came over
to practice. He’s a good guy. I hope shit works out for him. He and
his boys deserve that shit.”

I feel a little hurt that this band
I’ve been following for so long had a connection with the badass
man I love, and its leader knew his secrets all this time, when I’d
only just learned them.

“So he, um, knows about your mom and
all that?”

“No, babe, he doesn’t know everything.
You’re the only one who does.”

His trust in me melts my heart. I wrap
my arms around his neck, and reach up to give him a kiss on his
lips. My kiss lingers, and our mood is totally different from what
it was just moments ago in the bathroom. A reminder of what he went
through, what he overcame. Holding all that shit in. Not having
anyone to talk to about it. Until me, it seems.

Wanting to lighten the mood, I whisper
in his ear, “You do realize I’m forced to walk around without
panties for the rest of the night, thanks to you.”

“Yep.” Holt laughs, patting his front
pocket, where he’s safely tucked them. He drops his hand to my ass
and squeezes, sending a rush of excitement across my body, making
me giggle. He brings his lips to my ear and whispers. “The idea of
you in this place, with all these fucking men watching you, knowing
what that body can do. Knowing I’m the only one who’s going to get
it...I’m lucky as fuck.”

I whisper back to him, giving him a
little of his own medicine as I bite his ear, “Only
you.”

He growls, and the sound sends another
shiver of delight through my body. I smile as I move one of my
hands down to cup his ass and squeeze.

“Babe, if you want to see this band, I
suggest you stop. Can’t take much more. I’m already hard
again.”

Laughing, I back off. “Okay, okay.
I’ll be good, I promise.”

“I didn’t say I wanted you to be good,
I just don’t want you to be bad right now. Show me that shit when
you’re spread out on your bed and naked for me.”

Three beers later, Cass finally makes
her way back over to our table, looking flustered as hell. I know
that look. Same look I had walking out of the bathroom. Breathless,
flushed cheeks. Yep. Seems I wasn’t the only one turning tricks
tonight.

I give her a knowing look and grin as
she sits down beside me. I’m dying to know. Ang is still totally
engrossed with her friend, flirting her ass off with him, like none
of us are there.
Guitarists
, I think, laughing.

Cass scoots closer to me, while Holt
stands above us, like a predator protecting his prey. He’s refused
to sit down all night. I figure it’s got something to do with his
work. The need to be able to take charge at a moment’s notice. I’m
finding it kinda hot actually, all that badass and muscle pouring
off him.

“It was Gavin,” Cass leans in close
and whispers to me. “I gave in. After all this time, I couldn’t
take it anymore, and now that he’s leaving, I guess I didn’t want
to miss my chance.”

“What?
” Totally didn’t see that
one coming at all. “How the hell did that happen, Cass? You never
even told me you had a thing for him!”

“Well, because it’s kind of different
with him. I don’t know how to explain it, Nik. I like him, I mean I
really
like him. He’s funny, he’s talented, and he’s really,
really sweet.”

She doesn’t bother to say how hot he
is, which is the very first quality any breathing woman would
notice about Gavin. I’m worried. This is sounding all too familiar.
And he’s leaving.

“So what are you going to do now? I
mean he’s going to California. Are you two going to keep in touch
or what?”

“Well yeah, he doesn’t know how long
he’s going to be there. He wants me to come visit, and you know
I’ve always wanted to go there, so I told him I would.”

“Really?” I say, shocked at the
suddenness of it all.

“Yeah. I guess it just hit me, Nik. I
see the shit you’ve gone through, and I know what it did to you.”
She drops her voice to a whisper, I guess not wanting Holt to hear.
“I took my chances and turns out he was feeling the same. We made
it pretty clear how we feel about each other, we know the deal, so
we’re going to roll with it. See what happens.”

“I’m happy for you, honey. Funny how I
just found out that him and Holt kinda grew up
together.”

Her brows scrunch as the confusion
spreads across her face. “Huh? They did?”

“Yeah. He lived with him for a while
after he moved out of his mom’s.” I try not give away too much, not
sure how Holt would feel if he knew I’d told Cass everything he
confided to me.

He must sense my tension, as he
reaches down and whispers in my ear. “It’s okay, babe, I know she’s
your girl. I know she was there when I was gone. I know you talk.
It’s okay.”

I smile, and the tension fades
away.

“Seriously?” Cass says, looking up at
Holt.

“Yeah, sweets, your boy and me go way
back.”

Damn, he heard us talking.

Cass doesn’t seem to care as the
excitement boils over. “That is so cool. So maybe you guys can come
with me one time when I go visit him or something. That would be so
much fun.”

Holt shakes his head. “He ain’t gonna
want company when you come visit him from across the
country.”

We all break into laughter as Cass
agrees.

Gavin and his band finally take the
stage, and they’re putting on an awesome set, the best I think I’ve
ever heard. I’m sure they’re giving it their all, knowing it’s
their last night playing here for what might be a long time. I
hope, for my sake, and now Cass’s, that it’s not too
long.

Holt has been taking every opportunity
to touch me and has my body pinned up against him. Falling back on
my promise, I grind my ass and sway my hips into him, feeling his
arousal up against my ass. Yeah, I’m going to pay when we get home,
I can feel it. I’m so glad I have the late shift tomorrow, because
I have a feeling we’re not going to get much sleep.

Galaxy finishes up their last song,
and the crowd roars for them. Gavin thanks all of them for their
friendships and support over the years. His words almost bring me
to tears, because I’m so happy they’ve been given this wonderful
opportunity but sad they won’t be on the regular lineup at The Rox
anymore.

After leaving the stage and being
bombarded by his female fans, Gavin finally makes his way over to
our table. I’m guessing more to see Cass than us.

“Hey, bro,” he says as he and Holt
shake hands in that guy way.

“Good show, man,” Holt says to
him.

“Thanks, we really poured it out
tonight. Gonna miss this place.”

“And your fans are going to miss you.
Myself included,” I chime in.

“Thanks, Niki. That means a
lot.”

When he gets to Cass, he picks her up,
and she lets out a squeal then starts laughing. She looks so
happy.

“And what did you think?” he asks
her.

“Hmm, you were okay, I
guess.”

“Okay, huh? Hmm, well, maybe you
should come home with me so I can try to change your mind. Show you
just how good I feel...I mean, sound.”

We share a few drinks and eventually
go our separate ways. With Cass staying out for the night, that
leaves the condo to me and Holt. I can hardly wait to make it
home.

****

I’m standing over the stove, making my
triple Ps, wanting to show off my skills to Holt. My iPod’s playing
on shuffle. All I’m wearing is Holt’s t-shirt, which I snagged from
the floor, after waking up from our long night of fucking. Always
fucking with us. Never love-making.

Except for that one time in my room,
that morning after we had sex again. When I was running scared.
When he kissed me slowly and with so much passion. He was showing
me what I needed to see.

Now that we both know where we stand,
it seems neither of us can slow down long enough for what happens
between us to be classified as making love. What we share is raw.
Ravenous. It’s making up for lost time.

As I prepare the pancake batter mix,
Holt’s arms and bare chest are suddenly around me, his face on my
shoulder. “Morning, babe.”

I turn my face to his, breathing him
in. “Morning.”

He tightens his hold on me. “What’s
for breakfast?”

I playfully hit him with the spatula.
“Well, I was trying to surprise you with my famous pancakes, my
triple Ps, but you couldn’t just stay in bed like you were supposed
to.” I poke his nose.

“Babe, I know when you’re gone. That’s
what woke me.” He kisses my neck. “So, tell me, how does one make
world famous pancakes?”

“Go take a shower. By the time you’re
out, they’ll be ready.”

He doesn’t budge except to scoop my
mixing bowl from the counter and place it in front of us. He wraps
his arms around my waist. “Show me.”

I giggle, trying to hide my
excitement, not wanting him to see that I could no longer care less
about making any kind of pancake. All I want is for him to throw me
across the counter.

“Okay, well, first you crack the
eggs.” I grab two eggs, but as I’m about to crack them over the
bowl, he puts his hands around mine, and we crack it
together.

He caresses my hands as we watch it
slowly glide out of its shell into the bowl. How the hell am I so
turned on by a fucking egg?

“Then you add the remaining
ingredients, but you have to add the pecans last, because they’re
what pull it all together.” I quickly pour the cups I’ve laid out
on the counter into the bowl.

He kisses my neck and strokes my hips.
Dear God.

“Now it’s ready for the mixer,” I say,
barely able to concentrate.

Trent Reznor’s voice comes on my iPod,
singing, “The Only Time,” the one I played over and over again on
the countless nights after Holt left me. The lyrics, his voice, the
beat, Holt goes with it by sliding his hands up and under his
t-shirt I’m wearing, whispering in my ear, “Love my scent on you,
babe.”

Abandoning the pancakes, I turn to him
and wrap my arms around his neck, feeling those strong, naked
shoulders. Before I can open my mouth, he’s on me, kissing me with
the hunger that never seems to die. His hardness is pressed up
against me, and I can’t resist stalking my hand there.

He whispers in my ear, “My dirty
girl,” and lifts me up, sliding my bare ass onto the
counter.