Silence (10 page)

“You think I could stay here tonight? I could sneak out early in the morning.” Biting my lip, I considered it. I wanted him to stay. I would love to spend the night with him, but what if we were caught? My parents would go crazy, although we could just say we fell asleep.

Making my decision, not that it was hard very to make, I nodded my head. He smiled a gorgeous smile and sat up.

“Get ready for bed then!”

I flipped my suitcase open and pulled my shorts and tank top pyjamas out. Was he looking forward to the normality of being a couple going to bed together as much as I was? Although, we weren’t actually a couple. I frowned and went into the bathroom to change and brush my teeth.

Cole had taken his clothes off and was sitting in bed when I got back into the room. Heat flooded to my face. Was he completely naked? My face flamed.

I bit my tongue as I slipped into bed beside him. I was so nervous and a more than a little scared. I couldn’t see if he was wearing boxers. I shuffled down and pulled the cover up to my chin, being careful not to touch him. After a minute, he did the same.

“You look tired.” His breathing became heavier and he kissed me hard, completely taking me by surprise. Nothing mattered as our lips worked together. I didn’t care that I wasn’t good enough for him. I didn’t care that I shouldn’t want him. I loved him, and I wanted him.

He made a soft moaning sound and dug his fingers into my hair, holding my head in place. Suddenly, he rolled over and pinned me to the bed beneath him. I felt the initial panic start to rise, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Panic was replaced with something else. Something good.

When he pulled away just as quickly after a long and passionate kiss, I sagged in disappointment at the loss of that feeling. Cole smiled and pulled me into his arms. I smiled to myself and laid my head on his chest.

“Night,” he murmured. Wrapping my arm over my chest, I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.

Chapter Ten

Oakley

I woke up to the bed dipping, making me roll onto my side.

“Sorry,” Cole whispered. “It’s almost six, so I thought I should go. I’ll come back in a couple hours and we can go to breakfast.”

He bent down and kissed me lightly, his lips lingering on mine for a few seconds. I watched him creep out of my room and hoped he would stay with me again tonight.  Two hours later, I was dressed and ready for him to knock. I’d heard my parents in the next room, but I didn’t go in to say hi and thankfully they were respecting my space too. Just after eight, almost right on time, there was a knock on my door. Cole smiled as I opened the door.

“Hi.” He leant forward and quickly planted a kiss on my lips. “Ready to go down?”

I nodded and stepped out of my room, just as Mum and Dad walked out of theirs. “Morning honey, Cole,” Mum said and gave me a hug.

“Hungry?” Dad asked.

“Starving,” Cole replied, and nodded towards the lift at the end of the corridor. “You seen anyone else this morning?”

Dad shook his head. “Sarah spoke to your mum. They’re meeting us at breakfast. Not heard from Mia, and I’d imagine Jasper’s elsewhere.”
In some poor girl’s room.
“Did you sleep well, Oakley?” 

I nodded, and stepped closer to Cole while we waited for the lift.

“What do you have planned today? Your father and I are going shopping with David and Jenna,” Mum asked me, but waited for the reply from Cole.

“We’re diving at ten.” I raised my eyebrow at him.
Not planning to tell them about the spa?
He said nothing else.

“Is it safe?” Mum questioned, frowning with worry.

Dad chuckled. “Of course it is, Sarah. There’s a qualified instructor, isn’t there?” Cole nodded. “See. They’ll be in safe hands.”

I often wondered if Dad was
cool
about things like this because he felt guilty. I
had
to believe he felt remorse for what he let had Frank do to me. I couldn’t believe that my daddy was a cold, heartless monster.

“Well, you make sure you look after her,” Mum ordered Cole.

He nodded.

“Always.”

Always!

In the end it was only David, Jenna and that Mia joined us for breakfast. Jasper was nowhere to be seen. Not that it was much of a surprise. He now treated holidays, or any days actually, as a chance to sleep with anything with a pulse.

“Have fun and be careful,” Jenna said, as Cole and I got up to leave for the beach. We were diving in one hour.

I walked down to the beach holding Cole’s hand so tightly that I was probably crushing his bones. We had already popped back to our rooms to change for diving.

The Australian guy, who told us his name was Kyle, showed us how to use the equipment. I made sure I listened hard and repeated everything in my head over and over.
Stop being ridiculous; you’re not even going that deep!
I reasoned with myself.

Cole was practically bounding up and down as we walked with our little group of six into the sea. Kyle instructed us in what to do, and then he disappeared beneath the water.

“Ready?” Cole asked, and stuck his oxygen thing in his mouth.
What is that called again? Oh, it doesn’t really matter what it’s called, as long as it works!
Nodding my head, I took one last deep breath and followed him.

Being under the water was incredible. I felt so light and free.
See, you are enjoying yourself.
Cole grabbed my hand and looked towards Kyle. Kyle gestured for us all to follow him, turned, and swam deeper into the sea. Everyone followed, and I wondered how much further we would be going. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand up and have my head above the water by this point, but I wasn’t sure exactly how deep we were.

As we swam towards the bottom of the ocean, I silently thanked Cole for making me go. Although it was quite dark, I could still make out the tiny fish and weird looking plants. What I enjoyed most though was just floating in the sea and enjoying how peaceful it was.

Once our time was up, Kyle gestured for us to swim back to the surface, and then he led us back to the shore.

“You so enjoyed that, didn’t you!
” Cole teased as we walked back to the shack to return the equipment.

I shrugged nonchalantly
; a small give-away smile creeping on to my face. He chortled.

“I knew you would. Shower and then I’ll come to your room. Wanna have lunch before the spa crap?” I nodded and nudged him with my shoulder. Like he wouldn’t enjoy a massage!

When it was time to go to the spa, Cole suddenly felt unwell. “Maybe I should just stay here,” he suggested. I shook my head and pushed him towards the stone stairs.

“Welcome. I’m Isabelle. How can I help?” said an equally beautiful woman to the ones who were in the spa yesterday.

“We have some stuff booked. Under the name Benson,” Cole said quietly as if saying it any louder would make it more real.

“Ah yes. Okay, if you’d like to follow me, I’ll show you to your massage room.”

I followed Isabelle with a huge smile. I was feeling giddy with excitement at having a massage with Cole. Isabelle opened a door, and the smell of rose oil hit me. Two white beds were in the middle of the room. A little chest on the far wall, with pink orchids sitting in a large vase on top.

“There are towels on the beds. If you remove all of your clothes and cover yourself, your masseuse will be with you in five minutes.

My eyes widened. Remove
all
of our clothes.

“You can leave your underwear on, just move your bra straps off your shoulders,” Cole suggested. I gulped. “I’ll turn around. I won’t look; I promise.”
Oh God.

He removed his top and shorts quickly, unashamed.

“I’m not looking, Oakley. Go ahead.” he said with a chuckle as he laid face down on the massage table. He had kept his boxers on.

I quickly took off my dress and pulled my bikini straps down. I was still covered, but not as much as I felt comfortable with. Hopping onto the bed, I laid down on my stomach, making sure the towel covered me.

“Okay, this was a good idea,” he admitted halfway through. Yeah, I bet he thought that with yesterday’s gorgeous model massaging him. We both had a woman doing the massages, thankfully. I hated the thought of a strange man’s hands on my body. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on Elaina’s hands unlocking my muscles.

When our thirty minutes were up, I made a long face and got up to get dressed as Elaina and Cole’s masseuse left the room. Cole turned around again so I could have some privacy.
Does it really matter if he sees you?
Impulsively, I grabbed the top of his arm and spun him around.

“What…?” he croaked, looking at my half-naked
body. I was covered with a bikini; something Cole had seen me in hundreds of times before, so why did it feel different this time? Was it because we were alone that it felt intimate, or was it because we weren’t just friends anymore?

“I can turn… Um, turn around if… Err,” he stuttered, stumbling over his words. Shaking my head, I pulled my bikini straps up, being careful not to flash him!

We dressed in complete silence, both looking at each other. The only sound in the room was the sound of our breathing.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and stepped closer to me once we had finished getting dressed. I blushed, feeling the heat warm my whole body. His eyes didn’t show any signs of lying. My eyes prickled, and I willed myself not to cry. I didn’t feel beautiful, but knowing Cole thought I was meant everything to me.

He smiled and kissed me softly. “Let’s get this face mud crap over with.”

I broke out in a smile and led him back to reception.

We were led into another room, this time bigger, and not private. Cole glared at me as the three young women looked up at us; their faces were smothered in a dark green paste. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. Though having enjoyed the diving so much, I did feel back making him go through something he clearly didn’t want to do.

“I thought this was a couple’s thing? As in two people!”
Nope, just the massage!

For the whole time we were in that room
; Cole either frowned or moaned. When he looked over at me with a grey face that looked like he’d fallen in a cement mixer, I wished I had brought my camera with me. Not that the image would ever leave me.

As soon as our facemasks were off, he stood up.

“Lunch and beer time,” he announced. Beer to restore his masculinity? He’d have to hope that Jasper or Mia were around to get him a beer first. He wrapped his arm around my waist as and we made our way to the outside hotel bar. I smiled, loving the feeling of his skin on mine.

The rest of the week flew by too quickly. I hated how fast the holiday was passing, but I was still having the time of my life. Cole and I hung out at the beach a lot, and I was actually getting a tan. It was a nice change from my usual pasty, ghostly white. We barely saw our parents during the day, except for breakfast and most evenings for dinner. I loved the freedom and couldn’t wait until I was old enough to be able to leave home.

Mia spent most of her time with a girl she had met on the second day. She was on holiday with her family too so they were both happy to have found someone their own age to hand around with. And Jasper, well, we saw him around the hotel occasionally. He would get up at around three in the afternoon and chill by the pool bar, have dinner with us and then go out.

Since the dressing incident in the spa, I grew even more comfortable and confident around Cole. We now both thought nothing of changing in front of each other. Every night he would sneak into my room and sleep in my bed. We would just mess around and kiss until we fell asleep.

After dinner towards the end of the holiday, Cole and I decided just to chill in my room and watch a movie. We were going to the water park again, early in the morning so didn’t want to be out too late. I had enough issues getting up in the mornings!

I climbed on the bed and hovered above him, my hands beside his face. He instantly smiled, wrapped his hand around the back of my head and pulled me down. As his lips captured mine. Slowly, he rolled us so he was above me.

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. “Oakley?” His voice wobbled nervously. “This is probably really late considering everything but…Well, I was wondering if...” He sighed and shook his head, frowning at himself. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

Breathe, Oakley!
His body tensed.

“Is that a no?”

I shook my head, and he frowned.

“It’s a yes?”

I nodded and kissed him again.

He pulled away and kissed down my neck. I froze for a second; fighting between wanting more and being terrified by how I might react. Cole moaned as he ran his hand down the side of my body and gripped the bottom my top. This was that defining moment where I had to decide if I was going to listen to what I actually wanted, or what I should want.

I loved how he made me feel and how natural being with him was. However, after Frank I shouldn’t want to be intimate with anyone, should I? Would people think that had been my fault if I slept with someone after? Shaking my head lightly, I told myself off. No one else got to decide what I was ready for or what I wanted.

When I didn’t push him away, he pulled it over my head. His lips only left mine for a second while he whipped my top off.  My whole body felt like it was on fire. Everywhere he touched made my skin tingle. His hands caressed my stomach and chest with such a gentle touch it almost tickled.

“Maybe we should stop.” He made it sound almost like a question. His eyes were alight with love and excitement, definitely showing that he wanted to continue. I wanted to continue too. It was my decision, and I wasn’t going to let what they had done to me ruin absolutely everything. Putting my fears to one side, I shook my head.

Cole looked nervous.

“Are you sure?” he whispered. His voice was thick with lust. The sound made my stomach clench. I nodded my head and ran my hand through his soft hair. My heart felt like it was going to pop it was beating so fast.

“Are you scared?”

No, not of being with you.

I shook my head, and he chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I’m kinda nervous too.” Why was he nervous? “This is my first time too,” he admitted, biting his lip. His first time? Cole was a virgin! My mouth dropped open. He raised an eyebrow at me. “Not sure if I should be insulted by that look of shock on your face or not.”

I shook my head, trying to make sense of what he said. How could he be a virgin? He’d had a couple of girlfriends before, although they hadn’t lasted very long, but still.

“It took so long for me to even consider there might even be a tiny chance that you liked me too. I’ve never slept with anyone because I’ve only ever wanted you.” he whispered, unashamed.
Wow. Me?