Silence (7 page)

“It’s Chinese. That’s okay, right?” he asked as we pulled into the car park opposite Golden King Chinese restaurant.
Too late if it wasn’t!
Chinese was one of my favourites anyway, so I nodded my head enthusiastically. My stomach suddenly called out for food in a gurgle.

Cole chuckled. “Hungry?” Blushing, I nodded my head.

I opened the car door and saw Kerry and Ben waiting by the entrance. They were talking easily and laughing. I guess there was no awkwardness between them… They turned and smiled as we approached them.

“Hey,” Kerry chirped, and immediately started talking at a hundred miles an hour. She grabbed my hand, pulling me ahead of Cole and Ben.

“So how’s it going? You two actually together yet? It’s so sweet how he looks at you,” she whispered so quietly I barely caught any of it. I smiled and shook my head.

“Don’t worry, it’ll happen soon. Cole’s crazy about you.”
Crazy about me? I could live with that!

Kerry had requested a table in the corner so we could have some privacy.

As I had hoped, Cole sat next to me and grabbed the menu, wasting no time in deciding what to eat.

“You having sweet and sour chicken?” he asked, scanning the menu absentmindedly. It was pointless; we always had the same thing. I nodded and pointed to the egg fried rice too.

“Cool. I’m getting the beef chow mien so we can share.”

I was having a great time already, and we hadn’t even ordered our drinks yet. Kerry and Ben were so nice, but mostly it was because Cole stroking the back of my hand under the table. I liked it, but at the same time, I couldn’t help question, why so secretly? We were with Kerry and Ben, not our parents!

“We need to go to the toilet, Oakley,” Kerry announced, and jumped up so fast she almost knocked her chair over and hit a waiter. I frowned. Why we? I had never done the going-to-the-toilet-in-a-pair thing before. Well, except when I was a child and went with Mum.

Kerry ushered me to the toilets, pushing me forward as if we were in a hurry. I wasn’t that naïve to think we were actually going to the toilet. She wanted to talk. Great. As soon as the door closed behind us, she turned to me.

“Ben asked me to be his girlfriend! Can you believe that?”

I nodded. Actually, I couldn’t believe it took him so long.

She spent the next two minutes revealing the details – how he had bought her flowers ¬– pink roses – and asked her to be his girlfriend, just before we all came out tonight. Every word she spoke rolled into the next as she tried to get the whole story out as quickly as she could. Her excitement was infectious, and I couldn’t help smiling with her.

“So,” she took a breath, “has Cole asked you yet?” Again, no! She was impatient. I shook my head, and her face fell a little. “Well, what’s taking him so long? It’s not like he doesn’t want to, duh. It’s so obvious. Don’t worry, he’ll do it soon, I can tell,” she said confidentially. It really didn’t bother me. Well, not too much anyway. I was happy to take things slowly. Rushing into a relationship when I was only just getting used to all these teenage hormones wasn’t something I should do.

“Has he kissed you again?”

I flushed and nodded. He had kissed me quite a lot actually. Kerry squealed.

“Aww, it’s so cute. OMG we’re gonna be friends-in-law!”

What?
I grinned in amusement and bit my lip. Friends-in-law. Is that even a thing?

“Anyway, we should get back, come on!”

Again, I was pulled along by Kerry. I couldn’t be mad though. I had a feeling she’d got away with a lot as a child. It was impossible to be angry with her.

Cole and Ben were chatting about football when we got back to the table – my least favourite subject.

“You survived then,” Cole whispered as I sat down, careful to turn his head so Kerry wouldn’t hear. I laughed softly. She wasn’t annoying at all. He draped his arm over the back of my chair and kissed the side of my head. His lips against my hair made my heart pound.
Don’t grin too wide or you’ll look like a desperate idiot.

After dinner and listening to Kerry talk about the hottest celebs for forty-five minutes, we made our way to the cinema. Cole held my hand as we walked into the cinema and picked up our tickets. I wasn’t looking forward to watching the film, but I was just glad to go out on a double date like a normal teenager.

The cinema was pretty small and old. Since the new chain-cinema opened up in town, this one had become much quieter. It probably wouldn’t be long before it closed down entirely. I loved it though: the stained carpet, lingering smell of popcorn and ripped seats felt homely and welcoming.

Cole stroked my knuckles with his thumb to get my attention. “You sure you don’t mind seeing this? I’m sure we can find something else.”

I shook my head and awkwardly took the ticket he was holding out for me with the hand I was holding my drink with. As stupid as it sounded, I didn’t want to let go of his hand.

“Okay.” He smiled and nudged me towards the door signed Screen Two.

I could count on one hand the amount of people that were in the cinema, and that included the four of us.

“We’re going to the back,” Kerry announced, bounding up the stairs.

Cole carried our popcorn, eating some from the box with just his mouth. I grinned as I realised he was doing it because he didn’t want to let go of my hand either. When we reached the top of the stairs and walked to the end of the row where Kerry had already settled down, I dropped my hand from his to pull my seat down.

“Scared yet?” he whispered in my ear, three seconds after the film started. I raised an eyebrow, which made him chuckle quietly. About twenty minutes into the film, that music started; the kind where you know something bad is going to happen, but you don’t know what or when exactly. Shyness didn’t even register with me; I grabbed Cole’s hand and gripped hard. I jumped up on the seat as some ghost-like creature popped out from nowhere on the screen. Hugging my legs with the other arm, I hid behind my knees.
Why did I agree to watch this?

My heart was beating too fast as that music blared out from the speakers again. A door, or something that sounded like a door, slammed in the film, and I jumped. I couldn’t watch any more. I picked a spot just below the screen and concentrated on it.

“Wanna do something tomorrow, just us?” he whispered into my ear. I nodded and lifted the armrest that separated us. Leaning against his side, I felt safer. Spending time alone with him was definitely something I wanted. “Cool,” he said, smiling happily. He hadn’t mentioned what we would be doing, but that didn’t really matter.

“That was awesome! I loved the part where she was drowned in the bath!” Kerry exclaimed as we made our way out of the cinema. Oddly enough, that was not my favourite part. “So, where to now, guys?”

Cole frowned for a second. I could tell that he didn’t want to do anything else, well, not with them anyway. Ben must have noticed it too because he nodded once and turned to Kerry, telling her he wanted her all to himself for the rest of the evening. She seemed happy with that and they quickly said their goodbyes.

Cole let out a sigh of relief. “I know they’re my friends, but I just want you,” he whined. I wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. He had that cheeky half-smile on his face. “Ice cream, Miss Farrell?” Grinning, I fell against his side, pushing him towards the car.

It was too late for the café, so we went to McDonalds again, and sat in his car eating our
McFlurries.

“You okay? We can go somewhere else if you’re bored.” I shook my head.

He suddenly chuckled at something, pulling a heaped spoonful of ice cream out of the tub. He wouldn’t, would he? I watched his smile become more pronounced, more mischievous, and I knew what he was about to do.

My eyes widened, and I held my hands up in surrender. I really didn’t want to be all sticky and gross on my first date with the guy I was utterly crazy about. Before I could blink, he flicked the spoon, sending the ice cream flying at me. It landed on my top with a soft thud and fell onto my lap. Gasping, I swung the car door open and hopped out of the car. Oh, you’re going down, Benson!

Cole’s laughter blocked out the sound of a group of teens shouting and messing around outside McDonalds and the couple arguing in a car nearby. After brushing the remains of the freezing cold ice cream from my top and jeans, I scooped up some ice cream and flicked it at him through the door. Surprisingly, despite my rubbish aim, it landed on his chest. He stopped laughing immediately and looked down at the ice cream and chocolate sauce that was running down his t-shirt.

“You need to run,” he warned, slowly putting his ice cream down on the dashboard. I sprinted off, not in any particular direction, just away from him. His footsteps and heavy breathing became louder. My heart danced knowing he had almost caught me and adrenaline pumped through my body.
Faster!
Pushing my legs harder, I managed to increase my speed. It wasn’t enough though. Cole’s arm wound around my waist, and we both stumbled and fell to the floor.

“Too slow!” he exclaimed, rolling me over and pinning me to the ground. I couldn’t move at all. I wanted to struggle, but at the same time, I didn’t. He didn’t seem to notice my internal freak out, and I was grateful for that.

“What you gonna do now, huh?” Gulping, I tried to work that out for myself. I didn’t like being held down, but I didn’t completely hate it with Cole. It was different with him – playful. But it still felt too close to something else, something that wasn’t playful. Not playful at all.

“You okay?” He let go of my wrists and sat up. Relief flooded my system as I was freed.
I’m not ready for that yet.

Sitting up next to him, I smiled reassuringly. Technically he hadn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t know why I hated being held down. I couldn’t be mad at him. He smiled and slowly lowered his head towards mine. His eyes danced with excitement as his lips pressed so gently against mine.

I pulled away when I couldn’t take all of the conflicting feelings and crazy hormones anymore. Kissing him felt good, way too good. But as usual the time had got away from us, and we had to get back. The end of the night always left me feeling a little down, but I would see him again in the morning.

Dad was sitting in the lounge watching television when I walked in, waiting up for me again no doubt. I always wondered if he waited up because he was worried about me, or worried that I would have said something to someone, after all this time.

“Did you have a good time?” he asked, switching the TV off with the remote. I nodded and yawned, the day’s activities catching up with me.

“Good. Come one, bedtime.”

He didn’t look me in the eye once. Something was wrong. I felt uneasy, even more than usual when I was alone with him. I followed Dad upstairs and he kissed my forehead before going into his bedroom.
Something’s definitely wrong.

Cole’s text arrived just as I got into bed, momentarily taking my mind off Dad.

Chapter Seven

Oakley

In the morning, I woke up feeling happier than I had in a very long time. Things were looking up and I was, for the first time, feeling hopeful for the future. My date with Cole yesterday had put me in a good mood, and we had another date tonight! I felt like nothing could pop my happy little bubble.

As I skipped downstairs, my parents muffled voices became louder until I could hear them clearly. “I don’t get why you’re against this, Max! This might be the thing that works. She might be able to get through to our daughter!” Mum snapped. I held my breath and pressed my back against the wall to try to disappear.

“She won’t go to the doctor though!” Dad replied slowly. “You can’t force her. You saw what that did last time.” Sliding down the wall, I wrapped my arms around my legs. Last time Mum tried taking me to the doctors, I was so scared. Dad was standing behind her, calmly giving me that look; the look that I didn’t ever dare disobey. I completely broke down and couldn’t breathe. I could still remember how tight my chest felt, and those little black spots that blurred my vision right before I passed out.

Mum sighed heavily. “I won’t let her get like that again. Are you coming with me or not?”
Please say no, please say no.

“I won’t do that to her. I’m not tricking my daughter into this. You remember what the child psychologist said. We shouldn’t push her, and she will ask for help whenever she is ready for it. When Oakley is ready, Sarah, not you.”

“Do you even want her to get better?” Mum snapped angrily. Her voice was sharp and high-pitched. I flinched at how harsh she sounded.

“How can you even ask me that? Of course I do, but I
will not
force her into this. Whatever is going on with her, it will be all right. We’ll deal with it, whatever happens. If that’s her wanting help to speak again or not. She’s our daughter, and if she’s happy then that’s all that matters to me,” he reasoned. I actually believed what he was saying, he was that good at lying. Dad was smooth; well-liked and respected by everyone that knew him.
No one would believe you over him.

“I’m sorry.” I heard Mum sigh and everything went quiet. “I just want to find out what’s wrong. It just gets harder the older she gets.”

Her voice was muffled as if she was speaking against something. Dad’s shoulder maybe. “I’m still going to take her... Don’t, Max, if she starts panicking like before we’ll turn around and come straight home. I can’t just sit back and do nothing.”

I wished she would. Every time she tried to help me it would just end up with her crying and me feeling like crap. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself up off the floor. Sitting there listening to their argument about me was getting too much. I swallowed the lump in my throat and ran my fingers through my hair. As I walked into the kitchen, they both turned and smiled at me.

Mum tried to discreetly wipe the tears from her cheek.

“Morning, sweetheart,” she said warmly. “Hot chocolate?” I nodded and sat down at the table. “Croissants are in the oven, they shouldn’t be long.”

“I’m going to have a shower,” Dad informed us and walked out of the kitchen. He didn’t want to be around us. That was fine by me.

“How was your date last night?” How did she know it was a date? Did Cole tell her?
Of course he didn’t, you idiot!
Perhaps it was just obvious? I frowned and shook my head.

“It wasn’t a date?” Her face fell. “Oh. Well, did you have a nice time anyway?”

Jasper came downstairs, and Mum changed the subject, knowing how protective he could get. I idly wondered how he would react if he knew the truth about what happened to me. Out of everyone I thought Jasper was the most likely to believe me. Although there was a three-year age gap between us and he annoyed the hell out of me, we were close. That also meant that I didn’t ever want him to find out; I wouldn’t be able to cope if he didn’t believe me.

“So, what’s everyone doing today?” Jasper asked, and stuffed a hot croissant fresh from the oven into his mouth. I waited for him to react to the heat and spit it back on his plate but he didn’t. Was his mouth made of steel?

“I’m taking Oakley to gymnastics, and then going food shopping,” Mum replied, smiling at Jasper briefly while she busied herself buttering the croissants. “What about you?”

“Computer,” he mumbled and stuffed more food in his mouth.

“You could look for a part-time job?” Mum suggested.

Jasper scrunched his nose up.

“Or not.”

Lazy boy. It was my parents’ fault though; they had said they would support us while we were still in full-time education. Until Jasper finished college, he wouldn’t have to do anything.

Mum shook her head but didn’t say anything else to him. She turned to me.

“So I was thinking we could go clothes shopping on Thursday? I need some things for the holiday and thought it would be nice for us both to get our nails done.”

So the appointment was on Thursday. I nodded my head and picked at my food, no longer feeling hungry.
How am I going to get myself out of this one?

“Great,” she beamed. “Now eat up, we’ve got to leave in half an hour.”

Once I had managed to force down half a croissant, I went to get ready for gymnastics. I couldn’t wait to get there and get lost in throwing my body around. Gymnastics was an escape that I longed for every day. I loved how all my thoughts disappeared, and all that was left was a normal, teen-aged me, a version of me that I wanted to be all the time.

We pulled up outside the front door of the gym and Mum kissed me on the cheek.

“Have a good time. I’ll see you when you get home.”

I smiled briefly and got out of the car, shutting the door behind me. Cole was going to pick me up after practice, and we were going somewhere.

Gymnastics was as great as usual. I spent a lot of time practising the beam routine, balancing in positions that had made my eyes water at the very thought of them when I first joined. I flipped off the beam, and flew though the air; a smile pulled at my lips.
I could do this forever
, I thought, landing gracefully on the floor.

“That was amazing, Oakley,” Marcus exclaimed. “You nailed it! Go again.” Nodding, I ran around to the other end of the beam to start again.

I was panting by the end of the class: my muscles ached, but I liked the feeling; it was the feeling of achievement.

“
Alright guys, same time Monday,” Marcus shouted, dismissing us all.

I sprinted to the changing rooms and took a quick shower. I didn’t want to be all sweaty for whatever Cole had planned, so I changed into some fresh clothes and tried to tame my messy hair. Looking in the mirror, I groaned. My hair looked like a bird’s nest, sticking out in all different directions.

“Need a hairbrush?” Jade offered, handing hers out to me. I smiled gratefully and dragged it through the unruly blonde mass. When I finished, I placed it down in front of where she was applying her eyeliner and smiled again.

“You’re welcome,” she mumbled, looking in the mirror with an intense concentration. Giving her a quick wave, I ran out of the door, eager to meet up with Cole.

I saw him immediately. He was leaning up against the wall in the entrance.

“Hey,” he said happily and kissed my cheek. “I thought we could have lunch and go bowling now. Then I’ll take you home to get ready for tonight.”

I bit my lip to try to stop myself grinning too much and looking like a creep.

“I’m not telling you where we’re going tonight though,” he teased, bumping my shoulder with his. “Just wear something casual.”

Cole grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I slammed against his chest and gasped in shock. Before I could think anything, his lips covered mine. I felt dizzy with happiness. He beamed as he abruptly pulled away.

“Come on, I’m starving!”

We drove to the bowling alley in comfortable silence and parked as close to the door as he could get so we wouldn’t have to walk too far. We were seated in the restaurant quickly at as barely anyone was eating at two in the afternoon.

“Oakley, your mum told me something yesterday. I’m not meant to say anything, but I don’t think I can do that,” he said nervously.
Great, so she tells everyone about my appointment except me.
I nodded once for him to continue.

“Err,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s taking you to a doctor.”

He spoke carefully, worried about my reaction. When I didn’t have any, he frowned.

“You knew about it already?”

I nodded in confirmation.

He thought about it for a minute, chewing on the inside of his mouth.

“Are you going?”

I shrugged my shoulders. What choice did I have? I would go, but it wouldn’t achieve anything except wasting Mum’s petrol.

“Maybe it would be a good idea to go,” he said cautiously.

I clamped my jaw shut in frustration and turned away from him. Why did we have to talk about it? This was supposed to be a good day, yet now I was wishing I had stayed in bed.

“Sorry, I’m ruining this already, aren’t I? I just want you to be okay; that’s all.” He took my hand and interlaced our fingers. The waitress came by so Cole ordered for us.

“Bowling now,” he announced and chucked money down to cover the bill.

We played three games of bowling; I won the first game and he won the last two. I have to admit, my concentration wasn’t at its best with him around.

Cole drove me home so I could change and get ready for the date, whatever it was. Mum and Dad were out so thankfully I wouldn’t have to answer their questions about tonight. “I’ll pick you up in an hour.” I nodded and ran into the house. One hour to shower, do my hair, and pick out something to wear.

With only minutes to spare, I ran downstairs to wait for Cole to turn up. The doorbell rang just as I grabbed my coat off the hook. I took a second to calm down, and then opened the door.
Stop being so nervous!

“Hey. Whoa.” His eyes raked over me. I pulled at the sleeves of my jumper uncomfortably. The way he was looking at me made me feel self-conscious. “You look hot, Oakley.”

Blushing furiously, I smiled half-heartedly, suddenly feeling exposed.

“Ready?”

“Oakley,” Jasper shouted from upstairs. I hadn’t even seen him since breakfast. No doubt, he was sleeping in all day so he could go clubbing again. He came thudding down the stairs and leant over the bannister.

“Mum called. She’s on her way back with party supplies,” he warned.

Cole greeted Jasper and quickly added: “We’re just leaving.”

“Good. Have fun on your, it’s-not-a-date-but-it-really-is-a-date-date.”

I hurried out of the house. Cole followed behind, chuckling to himself.

“Your brother’s weird.”

I couldn’t agree more.

We drove for ages, and I couldn’t figure out where he was taking me. When we turned off at a roundabout, with the sign stating the beach was five miles away, I grinned. Cole chuckled at my expression.

“Yeah, we’re going to the beach. I’ve got a picnic dinner in the boot.” He smiled sheepishly and bit his lip.

I couldn’t help the excitement that bubbled up inside me.

“Mum suggested the picnic… And made it,” he admitted.
Thank goodness!
There would probably be some homemade cakes and cookies. If it had been down to Cole, there would just be packets of junk food.

We parked in the car park opposite the pier, and I turned to look at him: as casual but as gorgeous as usual. Feeling confident, I leant over and kissed him. I could tell he was surprised by it, as it took him a second to respond and kiss me back.

I felt him smile against my lips before wrapping his arms around my back, pulling me closer to him.

He pulled away and gave a surprised chuckle. I blushed and looked down to hide how embarrassed I was. Cole fingers gently cupped my chin and tilted my head, so I was looking at him again.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Oakley. I want you to feel confident around me. You can kiss me whenever you want. Believe me, I won’t mind,” he said.

I pressed my lips to his
again, to make it clear I got the message. We walked hand-in-hand along the shore. Both of us were wrapped up in warm jackets. Even in summer, it was still cold right by the sea. The sky was clear of clouds, so the moon shone down brightly on to the ocean, creating a glistening effect on the surface of the water. It looked beautiful.

As we approached a set of stone stairs, I stopped. I was happy to keep walking if he wanted to, but I had a sudden urge to hit the arcades too. Cole turned to me and frowned, wondering why I’d come to such an abrupt stop.

“Arcades?”

I nodded, and he laughed and feigned despair at me.

“Come on then. Let’s go spend twenty quid trying to get a claw to grab a crappy stuffed toy.”

He kissed my lips quickly, taking me by surprise. I was quickly growing to love how my body reacted to him.