Star Fish (14 page)

– Twenty Four –

Pisces:
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Your fishy compassion will be required to deal with what life throws at you this week.

We all gave Brad a tearful farewell at the airport.

‘Lucky sod!’ Liv exclaimed.

‘Come over and see me, Prinny,’ he shouted as he disappeared through Passport Control. What a week! My best friend was heading off to pastures new with a new love; I had bumped into my first love and had also arranged a date with the delicious Jon from next door.

Life was going well in general at the moment. I was actually enjoying work and having fun with my friends rather than worrying about men. Christopher hadn’t come forward with any contenders lately. I did actually ring him one evening asking if he thought I needed to change my photo to that of a top model.

‘Amy, you don’t need me to tell you that you look gorgeous in your photo
and
in the flesh. I just haven’t had any suitors on the books lately who would be good enough for you,’ Christopher said nicely. Actually I
did
need telling as I had the typical Piscean trait of needing constant reassurance. But bless dear, sweet Christopher nonetheless. He was always looking out for me.

Brad had been gone nearly two weeks now and I was already missing him. He had phoned me once, to say that they were getting on really well, and that Sean’s apartment was amazing and situated right on the beach.

‘You must come over,’ he said. ‘We can keep out of Kieran’s way, and we’d have such a laugh.’ He sounded so excited and happy I was pleased for him.

‘Do you know what, Brad Sampson? I’ll be over sooner than you think. Give me a few weeks to save up and I’ll be with you.’

‘Have a nice day now, Ames, seeya.’

‘Seeya, darling boy, very soon.’

I knocked on Jed’s door. ‘Fancy coming out to play with the girl next door?’

‘I’ll just ask my mum, hang on.’ He smiled and shut the door behind him.

‘I’m starving. Shall we go to JoJo’s, I fancy pizza?’

‘Sounds good to me.’

I proceeded to drink a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio to myself, whilst Jon consumed several beers. We got on like a house on fire and I was flirting outrageously from my first bite of garlic dough ball.

‘Thanks again Gloria for making an old man happy in his last few years. My grandfather did adore you, for some reason! ‘

I laughed. ‘I’d rather have been making a young man happy,’ I replied seductively, looking over the table at him.

‘When’s your birthday, by the way?’

‘Oh you’re into all that rubbish too, are you, I should really make you guess, shouldn’t I? But after all that wine it would probably take you hours. I’m an Aquarius.’

‘Tell me a bit about yourself then and I shall tell you if you’re a typical water – bearer.’

‘Well, being the eleventh sign of the zodiac, I’m quick-witted, intelligent and have tons of friends. I can, however, be impatient and fixed in my opinions. I like to travel. Any more?’ he asked cockily.

‘Jon McDonald, you’ve sneaked in and stolen an astrology book off my shelf. That is just pure textbook Aquarius!’

Jon laughed and continued, ‘Oh, and they have been known to drop the occasional bombshell.’

‘You’ve got me on that one,’ I replied quizzically.

‘The reason I know all of this stuff because my boyfriend, Andrew, writes the stars for the
Sunday News
.’

I took a large gulp of wine. ‘That is absholutely fantastic,’ I slurred.

‘What – fact I’m gay?’ Jon enquired, worried how I was going to react to his revelation.

‘No no, the fact that your boyfriend writes horoscopes for a living. How exciting, I must meet him.’

Jon smiled at my excitement and mocked. ‘I shall check his Crystal Ball and see when he’s free.’ He then went all sensible on me. ‘I’m sorry if I gave out the wrong signals to you earlier.’

‘Don’t be silly. The way my hormones are lately, if the dustman smiles at me I think I’m on to a winner! My best friend Brad is gay. He was at the funeral with me – not sure if you noticed him. He’d like you, I just know it’

‘No, I didn’t see him, but it’s interesting that you think he’d like me.’

‘I’ll think we’ll stop that thought now, shall we, as by the sound of it you are both happily married.’

‘Spoilsport,’ Jon teased.

‘Friends?’ I said, and held my hand out to him.

‘Friends.’ He smiled. ‘Let’s have another drink.’

‘When are you back up to Scotland?’

‘I’m down South for a couple of weeks, as I want to sort out a few estate details of Grandpa’s. Talking of Grandpa, what did you spend your money on?’

I bit my lip and looked down. I had been dreading this moment.

‘What’s the matter, Amy? Look, it doesn’t matter if you spent it on a complete luxury. It was your money to do what you wanted with.’

‘I so wish it was that. No, something terrible happened. I have been so stupid.’

Jon sensed my apprehension and reached for my hand across the table. I suddenly realised what a mess I’d made of this dating lark and began to wish I’d never ever gone to Starr & Sun.

‘I’ve been such a fool, Jon. I got hoodwinked into lending my so-called boyfriend a lot of the money and basically he stole it and ran off to Australia, taking it all without a word.’

He squeezed my hand as I continued.

‘I am so, so sorry. Jed must have worked so hard for that money and on a stupid whim, because I thought I was in love, I threw the whole lot away. God, they say love is blind. Where I’m concerned it’s deaf as well.’

I then proceeded to tell Jon the whole sorry story of Declan O’Shea.

‘What a complete bastard,’ he said angrily. ‘It just makes it so much worse that he used the cancer story to get cash out of you. Are you going to try and find him?’

‘What’s the point. It’s highly unlikely that he’ll ever hand the cash over, and to be honest I never want to speak to him, let alone see him again. I do want you to know that I didn’t make that decision lightly though.’

‘If ever, and I mean this, Amy, if ever you do hear that he is back in the country, you let me know, because I’ll make sure he hands over the cash and more.’

‘Thanks for being so understanding, and I am truly sorry for being so gullible.’

‘Look, it wasn’t your fault. Put it down to a bad experience and learn from it. What goes around comes around, and you can be certain that one Mr O’Shea will not always live a life of roses.’

Bless Jon. Everything was guided by the hand of fate and despite losing my new – found wealth and another potential suitor, I had now gained a very lovely new friend.

We got back to number 21 around midnight.

‘Come in for a coffee?’ I urged Jon.

‘On one condition.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump on you, you’re not a dustman!’ I laughed.

‘On the condition that you don’t let me anywhere near that stinking pond of yours!’

My answer-phone light was flashing when I got in, plus I had ten missed calls on my mobile as I had amazingly forgotten to take it with me.

‘Must be all my admirers.’ I felt quite excited to find out who so desperately wanted to get hold of me. My excitement soon turned to anguish when I heard Brad’s frantic and tearful voice.

‘Prinny... – (racking sobs) ... bad, bad accident... (more sobs). Please call me… it doesn’t matter what time.’

Jon bit his bottom lip and looked at me tenderly. ‘Do you want me to stay here with you whilst you make the call?’ I nodded. I felt sick at the thought of Brad being in such a state and quickly dialled the Florida apartment.

I was surprised to hear Brad’s voice and not Sean’s on the end of the phone.

‘Brad, it’s me, babe. What on earth’s happened?’

With his reply I fell back on the sofa in complete shock.

‘It’s Sean. He’s dead.’

‘Oh, my darling Brad, oh no I’m so sorry.’

‘We were having such a lovely day.’ He began to sob again.

‘We went water-skiing. We’d only just swapped over and suddenly this other boat appeared out of nowhere. It was going really fast and was out of control and it hit him. It hit my gorgeous, lovely Sean. The paramedics said that he would have died instantly and wouldn’t have suffered.’

I knew all about grief – in fact, I was quite an expert on the subject. My mum had died when I was seventeen. She was involved in a hit and run accident. One moment I was waving goodbye to her as I went off to school, the next I was throwing a rose into her grave. I felt the same pain talking to Brad as when the policeman came to the house to tell me, Dad and Anna the terrible news that day. I knew though that for Brad’s sake I had to keep control at this precise moment.

‘Are you coming straight home?’ I asked.

‘No, I’m waiting for his parents to come out. They are travelling back to Ireland with his body.’ His voice broke. ‘Amy, I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want to be alone here tonight. Although I was so close to Sean, it’s as if I don’t count in his life now this has happened.’

‘Of course you count, babe. Why don’t you call Kieran?’

I felt so desperate that my best friend was a million miles away and I couldn’t console him properly.

‘I have, he’s with the authorities sorting everything out.’

‘I shall phone the airport now and see how quickly I can get to you,’ I said reasurringly. I could almost hear Brad sigh with relief. ‘Amy, I do love you, you know.’

‘And I you. Now try to get some rest and I’ll call you from the airport.’

I started to cry myself now, big heavy sobs. Short of experiencing the death of a loved one yourself, feeling the grief of somebody close to you is almost as bad. Jon put his arms around me.

‘Now, don’t worry about Pen – I shall feed him. Let me phone the airport now and see what we can sort out. I’ve had too much to drink to drive so get packing and I’ll phone for a taxi as well. Don’t forget your passport. Oh, and I’ve got some dollars in my wallet from a recent trip to America that you can have to see you through the first day.’

‘Thank you so much Jon. You really are an angel.’

– Twenty Five –

Pisces:
Travel plans are on the cards for you fishes today. You’ll need to reserve all of your energies for an unwanted encounter.

How nice to be in a hot country, but how sad to be here under such traumatic circumstances. The taxi ride to Sean’s apartment was difficult. I so wanted to see Brad to ease his pain but also dreaded seeing him as I couldn’t bear the thought of him hurting so badly.

I rested my head back on the seat attempting to relax, and began to take in the Florida scenery. Everything seemed that much bigger than in England. The roads were a lot wider and I was amazed at the amount of garages, drive-in eating haunts and motels we passed along the way. On the coastal road, nearing Sarasota, I noticed the impressive white-sandy beaches and almost forgot why I was here. It wasn’t until we passed several golf courses that reality hit. Poor Sean, what a tragic loss.

As soon as I arrived Brad walked slowly out to greet me. His head was slightly bowed. He looked grey, his eyes were swollen from crying and he was unshaven. I gave him a massive hug.

‘No words are enough, I know, just that I’m here and will always be here for you.’

I dumped my stuff in the spare room and made him a sandwich, as he hadn’t eaten since the accident. I then lay on his bed and held him, stroking his head until he fell into a fitful sleep.

The ground-floor, air-conditioned apartment was spacious and comfortable. Patio doors led straight out to a private beach. I was tired from the flight but couldn’t sleep so started flicking through the zillions of TV channels to find something of interest. After nearly buying ‘The Most Serious Ab Cruncher on the Universe’ and a mechanical flea plucker for Penelope from one of the many shopping channels, I heard a key being turned in the door.

I suddenly thought of all those American films I’d seen and wondered if I should dive behind the sofa and look for a cabinet that housed a gun. In fact, I actually should have done both as in walked the delicious Kieran Docherty. Even though his eyes were bloodshot from weeping and he didn’t look like he’d washed for weeks, I guiltily thought that if he had asked me to bend over the dishwasher there and then, I would have done so. It was at times like these that I realised that even if I was a religious person I would never be summoned to the suburbs of heaven, let alone to the Pearly Gates.

‘Kieran, I’m so sorry.’ I moved awkwardly towards him to give him a hug.

‘It’s shit, Amy, a God-awful shitty thing to happen. I loved him so much. He was so young, it’s just not fair.’

‘I know, I know,’ I said soothingly, as if what had happened between us had never taken place.

‘How’s Brad?’ Kieran asked gruffly.

‘Not good. He’s asleep, totally exhausted with everything.’

‘I feel the same, I want to sleep but every time I try to I just have pictures of us as kids flashing through my mind.’

Half of me so wanted to kiss him. To tell him everything would be all right. To say that I would help him through this terrible time. But it wasn’t my place to do so. The other half wanted to shout at him and say did he realise that yes we had only had two sweaty shags, but they were the best sweaty shags I’d had in a long time and he had really hurt me.

Initially, I was quite pleased to hear Sinead approaching, as I didn’t want to create any disharmony in a situation so tragic as this.

‘Kieran, darling, where are you?’

‘Just here, my sweet.’

I thought I would vomit. He really was a bastard. But I guessed considering the enormity of the situation, infidelity and the feelings of others were the last thing on his mind.

‘Oh hello – Amy isn’t it? Brad said you were coming over. What a good friend you are to him. Poor, poor Sean and my poor, poor boy. I don’t know how he’s going to cope.’

Despite the horrendous circumstances I still wanted to tell her how her poor, poor Kieran was a complete philanderer.

‘How’s your ankle, by the way?’ she went on. ‘Hope it didn’t affect your enjoyment of our wedding too much.’

I was amazed she could still come out with general chit-chat at a time like this. Maybe she suspected something? I gulped, looked straight at Kieran, who was too grief – stricken to care whether his marriage was about to be blown apart, and replied,

‘It’s fine now thanks.’

‘Thought you might have broken it, the fuss you made.’

Cow! I wanted to cry out that the only thing broken that night was my heart; instead I just weakly smiled.

Kieran then went over to a desk in the corner of the room, shuffled with some papers and said, ‘Right, we’ve got more stuff to sort out re the flight home. Goodbye Amy and thanks for being here for Brad.’

He squeezed my arm as he went past. He might just as well have wrung my heart out and thrown it to the floor. How could I love this man?
Did
I love this man? Lust, it had to be lust.

Back in Reading, Brad stayed at mine for a couple of nights and then he left and I was all alone again with Penelope. It felt like weeks since I’d had a chance just ‘to be’. It was a dreary Sunday and I decided that I would spend the whole day tidying the house, the garden and generally getting my life back into some sort of order again. As I shifted papers off the coffee-table, a business card fell to the floor.

I picked it up and smiled at the memory of seeing Will again. With all the recent goings-on, I had completely forgotten about calling him back. I could do with a bit of light relief.

I was amazed that my heart was beating really fast as I dialled his mobile number. Trust him, I thought, just to have his name and mobile number on a card. I wondered what he did for a living now? He had always been a real entrepreneur and so full of energy and ideas when we were younger. I couldn’t wait to meet up with him; it seemed like a lifetime ago that we were snogging in the back row of the cinema. My excitement was soon extinguished as the frustrating drone of an unobtainable number greeted my eardrum. I tried again, thinking I might have misdialed but no, he must have changed his number since we had last met. I didn’t even know where he lived now.

Pen wandered in to see what was going on.

‘Oh well, it’s obviously not meant to be,’ I told him. ‘He’s a flirtatious Sagittarius anyway, so it’s probably for the best.’

So that was that. If he hadn’t had a girlfriend I might have tried harder to track Will down, but to be honest I was trying to steer myself away from the complications of attached men forever more. I could imagine Anna giving me a lecture.

‘Ames, if they’ve got baggage it’s far too easy for them to go straight back to Baggage Reclaim when the going gets tough!’

I sat down, duster in hand, and felt suddenly very tired and depressed. It had been a long wait to say a final goodbye to Sean, what with him having to be flown home and then arrangements being made in Ireland. The funeral was due to take place in Dublin next Friday and I was already apprehensive. One, because funerals always evoke my own grief over the loss of my mother and two, because I had to face Kieran again. I had acknowledged that he was very much married and there would never be a chance for us. I had also faced the fact that he was a cheating bastard anyway and I was worth more. Then every so often, usually after a glass or two of something, I put on my rose-coloured spectacles and saw us sorting everything out and living happily ever after.

Abandoning my housework duties, I switched on the TV; my mood was immediately lifted as I saw that
Casablanca
had just started. Bliss, a dreary Sunday afternoon, snuggled on the sofa watching my favourite film. I was just wiping my tears away at the end of it when the phone rang. It was Christopher. Strange, he never usually called on a Sunday.

‘Amy. How are you doing?’

‘A bit tired but I’m OK, thanks.’

‘Cordelia said you had contacted us to say that you would be away for a few days. I’m so sorry to hear the terrible news about your friend. If there’s anything I can do to help?’

‘I’m fine, but it’s really sweet of you to think of me, thanks.’

‘Also, since you’ve been away I’ve had a very nice Leo register. Thought a date might take your mind off everything that’s been going on.’ Cordelia emailed his profile and photo to you on Friday, thought you might have looked at them by now?’

‘I’ll have a look. Thanks a lot, catch up soon, yeah?’

‘Yeah. See you, Amy. Take it easy and enjoy the rest of your Sunday.’

I was looking forward to going on a new date, hoping that it would finally get Kieran out of my system. Sad as it was, once the funeral was over there was no reason why I should ever have to see him again.

I phoned Brad to see if he was OK and he told me he was packing to go and stay with his mum until Thursday.

‘I’ve booked us onto the eight a.m. flight, Friday. I’ll pick you up from home at six. I’ve also sorted us a hotel in Dublin for the night.’

‘Thanks, babe, take good care. Give my love to your mum and I’ll see you Friday.’ ‘Amy.’ Brad faltered. ‘I just wanted to say that I really do love you, kid.’

I could hear his voice cracking. ‘Shit off and I’ll see you Friday.’ I said trying to keep his spirits up, but when I put the phone down I started to cry my eyes out. Poor Brad, he didn’t deserve this. In his usual sympathetic way, Penelope jumped on my lap and began to purr loudly.

‘Right,’ I said out loud, in the words of my father. ‘Drag yourself up, brush yourself down, and get on with it, girl.’