Still Jaded (25 page)

I hit the table with my fist. "He stalked me. He videotaped me with my boyfriend. He killed two of my friends, good people. They were people you would've been friends with. I liked them, and I found one of them dead. He left her in the park, like he threw out the trash. Then he stabbed one of my best friends in front of me. He enjoyed it. He stabbed him multiple times and he dug that knife in until—"

"Enough!" Corrigan shot to his feet. He clamped a hand on my arm. "We're leaving." Then he turned on Dorothy. "We won't be coming here again. We won't be using your catering services either. And for the record, I did nothing to your cousin. He tried to kill me because Sheldon's
my
family. She went after him because of me. She didn't stalk him, he stalked her. You might want to remember that."

He dragged me outside and then let go of my arm when we got to the car. As we got inside, I shook my head. My legs were trembling. "You reminded me of Bryce just now. Are you sure you're not channeling him?"

Corrigan growled. "It's because you make us do that. You made me do that. You push us so that we have to reign you in and it's annoying, Sheldon. I feel so much pressure because I have to take care of you now. You don't take care of yourself. You put that responsibility on someone else. I'm not fucking you. I'm your best friend. How did this job come to me?"

I went cold at his words.

"Sheldon." He reached for my hand.

I shrank away from his touch. "Don't touch me. Don't even think about it. You don't have to take care of me. Whatever you were worrying about in there, you don't have be a certain way. You never were before. Now what—Bryce is gone so you're trying to fill in? Don't. Please. You're right. You're not fucking me. You're supposed to be my friend. If you can't handle the job description then apparently it's too much—"

"That's not fair!" Corrigan interrupted. "I was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm not like you. I haven't wanted to deal with Marcus Donadeli. You—it's all you've been dealing with. I think that's good. You're trying to put him behind you, but I'm not like that. I try not to think about it." He glanced away. "I don't think Bryce ever wanted to deal with it either."

"Yeah. Well." I'd grown so tired in the last minute. "Maybe that's what went wrong with us."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I was wrong—"

"You don't have to stick around. You can leave too."

His shoulders dropped and his throat jerked. He visibly swallowed. I watched how his hands clenched and then relaxed. He looked down at them, as if considering what I just said. "I'm sorry. I just—you make…I don't know how to say this."

"Say it."

"Okay." He took a breath and looked at me. I saw the appeal in his eyes. "I could hide from a lot of things before, but Bryce is gone. I mean, I don't know what I mean. It doesn't matter. I…just…I can't hide because of you. You don't hide anymore. I'm with you. I'm in the front seat right next to you because I want to be. But that also means that I can no longer hide from things because you don't. You face everything head on. Hell, any challenge you see before you and you want to squash it. I have to get used to it. It's a lot, sometimes. You're making me deal with shit that I might not have dealt with all my life…"

"What are you talking about?"

Corrigan sighed and smiled. His grin was brief and gone, but I still saw it. "Nothing. Nothing. Where else do you want breakfast?"

"I don't care. Pull over to the closest coffee place. I still want coffee."

Corrigan did as he was told.

After we went back to my place, I shot into the house, but I couldn't get farther than the kitchen. Every inch of my skin was itching to hide. In some ways, he wasn't right at all, but he was in other ways. There were times when if I saw a problem I knew I could deal with, I dealt
with it. Maybe I didn't want Marcus to screw my life up? Maybe I didn't want him to have that power over me.

When my fridge opened and Corrigan pulled out a beer, I arched my eyebrows. "Really?"

He shrugged. "I already know what kind of talk we're going to have. The time seems to fit."

"What are you talking about?"

He gestured towards me with his beer. "Just, start."

So I did. He thought he knew me so well, but he didn't. "You're telling me that I don't hide from stuff? Do you know me? Really? Do you not know me at all? I hide from everything!—"

Corrigan got in my face. His breath tickled my chin. "You don't hide from Marcus. You face it head on. That's why you go to Sparky's. That's why you stayed in Spain, even though Bryce didn't want you there. You didn't hide from what was going on with him. You stayed there because you wanted to face it head on. You've changed, Sheldon. You've changed since—not since Marcus, but before that. Hell, this thing with Bryce would've been drawn out a few years if you were the old Sheldon. You're different. You denied it for a long time, but once he came back, you couldn't deny it anymore. Barely two weeks and you already left to regroup."

My body felt numb. "What are you talking about?"

"You were falling apart because you knew Bryce was up to something. The old Sheldon would've slept with Denton right away. You didn't. You went to his home, but you did that to clear your head. You didn't screw the guy."

My mouth had gone dry, but I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I felt my hand trembling against my leg and I sat my coffee down.

"I know you, Sheldon. Yes, I do. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you better than Bryce sometimes. And you've changed, for the better. But give me two minutes to catch up. Please. I'm not like you. I like hiding. Sometimes hiding can be good."

I narrowed my eyes and stalked closer. "You don't hide from anything. Any challenge and you're tearing at it. You're saying I don't hide, neither do you."

He rolled his eyes and finished the rest of his beer. "I like to hide. You're wrong, Sheldon. I like to hide a whole lot, but I'm not in a position where I can anymore. That's what you're talking about. This is why I don't have girlfriends. I don't like dealing with this deeper shit."

"I'm not your girlfriend! Stop treating me like I am!"

Corrigan closed his eyes for a moment and I waited. Tense.

Then he lifted his eyes and I gulped. There was the pissed off Corrigan with a different glow in his gaze. He seemed to come
alive; like he'd been in black and white and now he was in color. "You want to talk truth? Fine. Why'd you lie to Bryce?"

"We never slept together. We stopped right away."

"That's not what you lied about and you know it. Don't treat me like I'm stupid. I'm the one who's
here
."

I held my breath. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Nothing." He turned away.

"No! What are you talking about?" I jerked forward. Corrigan stepped away, but I brought him back. My hands were on his shoulders, my face next to his. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did we go to Sparky's today? Tell me the real reason." His eyes searched mine.

"What are you talking about? Like you said, I like to face things head on." I was so confused. What were we really talking about?

"Don't bullshit me. What's the real reason? I thought that at first, but now…that's not why. You went there to rub it in their faces. One of theirs tried to kill you and you didn't die. You go there as much as possible because you like it. And you wanted to go there with me. You enjoyed that. You watched her. From the second you saw her, you watched that girl's reaction. Not only to you being there, but to me too. You liked that she's got some weird crush on me. Why? You want to feel superior to her or something? Is that what this is about?"

"Yes!" I exploded. Was I wrong? I didn't think so. "I'm sorry if I take some satisfaction in the fact that I didn't die. I didn't die!"

Corrigan's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything. Then he reached up and unwound my hands from his shoulders. I waited for him to push me away, but he didn't. He just held my wrists in his. My body was still pressed against him.

He breathed out, "You lied to Bryce."

Everything was held on pause. I wasn't even sure if I breathed in that moment. "Yes…"

"He knows you lied."

I whispered my admission, "I know."

"He knows why you lied."

"I know." Everything inside of me broke down. I felt the fight leave me and slumped against Corrigan. He caught me and then brushed some hair from my eyes.

"Corrigan," I murmured against his shoulder. My lips brushed against his shirt.

His arms tightened around me. "Yeah?"

"You're my best friend." Wrapping both of my hands in his shirt, I pushed back with enough strength to look him in the eyes. I saw they were full of concern and knowing. I wanted to look away. Corrigan was wrong on some stuff. I didn't like people knowing me better than I knew myself. I wanted to hide from those people and I wanted to hide from him in that moment. Corrigan was looking inside of me. He always did, always would.

Something switched in his eyes, and he nodded. "I know."

Someone dropped their books on the seat beside me, and I looked up in surprise. I hadn't thought anyone would be brave enough to sit next to me, especially with Grace and her newfound family at the back of the room. This girl smiled before placing her bag on the floor. Another four girls filed behind her. Two sat on my other side and the last sat on her empty side. They seemed to all sit down at the same time and stare straight ahead. Even their chests lifted as one as they breathed.

That's when the first girl flashed me a smile and held out her hand. "I'm one of Leah's sisters. You're Sheldon Jeneve. My name is Carolina."

I eyed her pink sweater and yellow skirt when I shook her hand. "You're a sorority sister?"

She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and glared once towards the back of the room. "Anyone who is friends with Leah is friends with us. If they want to fight, they've got a fight. Leah finally told us everything. We hadn't known the righteousness of Cadence's bitchiness, but we do now. You're going to be witness to a whole other phenomenon."

"Oh…kay." I looked back and saw Grace swallow. She looked around, saw that her other sisters were glaring back and squared her shoulders. When she lifted her chin in a challenge, I smirked back at her. Grace seemed to wither.

My newfound friend laughed. "She's about ready to piss her pants. Nice. The stories of your rage and power have not been exaggerated. We could use a sister like you."

My eyes snapped to hers. "Ah—what?"

Carolina's eyes sparked in warmth. "Leah told us everything about you or she filled in the empty spaces from what we'd already heard. When there's a girl who is best friends with the up-and-coming President of Alpha Mu, we take notice. Plus, your ex being one of the hottest soccer players in this century already makes you infamous around these parts."

It wasn't often that I was lost for words, but somehow this Carolina had done just that. I couldn't figure out how she did it, but she did it nonetheless. Anything else that might've been said was interrupted when Miss Connors walked into the room. She paused when she sat that I was in the front row, then her eyes jumped to the back, and I could already see the questions in her mind.

"We can swarm her with questions about the presentations."

"Huh?" I looked at Carolina and saw her watching Miss Connors, a pink pen between her teeth. She grinned, reaching into her bag. "You can escape that way. She won't weigh you down with soul-searching questions. That's what you're worried about, right? She was your high school counselor? Did I not get that right?"

Who the hell was this girl? "How do you know all this?"

"Unlike Cadence the Bitch, I do my homework. I'm faster and I'm smarter than her."

The confidence that rolled off this girl took my breath away. No one did that. Ever.

When Miss Connors started class by assigning presentations to groups, Carolina winked at me and raised her hand for a question. When she was called on, Carolina had a comment for every discussion that Miss Connors raised soon after that. The rest of the class passed by, but I tuned it out.

To be honest, I hadn't come to learn anything. Corrigan had made me uneasy so I figured the best way to be distracted was a fight. I knew Grace would be in the class, and I knew some of her newfound friends would be too. I had been ready for them until Leah's sisters flanked me. And, honestly, I wasn't sure who I should be more wary of, Cadence or this Carolina girl. I understood Cadence. I knew what made her tick, but this new girl was an alien to me. Then I remembered all my problems and figured she was the last thing I'd need to worry about.

At the end of class, Carolina squeezed my hand once. Then the girls shot straight towards Miss Connors and kept asking questions. It was almost amusing to watch because I saw the surrender in my old counselor's eyes. She looked at me and then saw that I had no intention of sticking around. I almost felt her sigh in defeat.

Then I turned and found myself face to face with Grace…and four of her sisters. They all glared.

My shoulders rolled back and something settled in me. This was the fight I had come for. "What's up, Grace?"