Straightening Ali (15 page)

“
It’s been a very strange night,” Haseena said getting into one of the taxis queuing up outside the nightclub. She gave the driver instructions on how to get her home and continued her conversation with Ali. “We never usually see any other Asian people in there, and today we meet two other Pakistani guys who are both married.”

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I don’t think it was that strange,” Ali said disagreeing with her.

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I do. It’s like you were meant to meet them to see a snapshot of what might happen if you went ahead with the marriage. You saw two victims in there,” Haseena pointed out. “It’s a message to you. It’s saying don’t go ahead with the wedding, or your life might end up like this. You’ll end up being a victim.”

“
Stop talking nonsense! We met two gay Pakistani guys who were out at the Nightingale because it was hosting a Bollywood night. If we’d stayed longer, I’m sure more Asian guys might have appeared. Most Asian guys we meet in gay clubs are married, so there was nothing significant about meeting Imran and Altaf tonight,” Ali said crossly.

“
You’re wrong, Ali. We met them for a reason, but you can believe what you like. I know you’re going ahead with the wedding no matter what I say, but I think it’ll be the biggest mistake that you’ll ever make,” Haseena said.

Hearing those words stunned Ali. It was the first time that Haseena had been direct in her opinion. He couldn’t think of anything to say and sat back in silence. They didn’t talk to each other for the rest of journey, too wrapped up in their own thoughts. When the taxi drew up outside Haseena’s front door, she got up to get out of the car.

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Good luck with the wedding;” she said to Ali. “I don’t think we’ll be able to see each other much after tonight.”

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Why?” Ali asked, feeling hurt.

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Well, you’ll be married, and you’ll have a responsibility to your wife. She won’t want you visiting me, will she? It wouldn’t be fair to her,” Haseena said, widening further the gulf that had suddenly opened up between them.

“
You’re coming to the wedding aren’t you?” Ali asked. “I’ve made sure that Yasmin sent out an invitation to you.”

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I’ve received the invitation, but I can’t come to the wedding. It would hurt me too much to see you getting married. I’ve sent my apologies already. I’m sorry,” Haseena said sadly.

“
Please, Haseena, you have to come. I won’t be able to cope without you. I need you there to support me,” Ali said, almost pleading.

“
I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m not changing my mind. If you need to speak to me you can call me anytime you want. That’s if you change your mind about the wedding,” Haseena said.

Ali hugged her, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to change her mind. “Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me,” he said. Haseena gave him a goodbye kiss on the cheek before stepping out of the taxi.

Ali watched as she walked to her front door. She took her keys out from her handbag and fumbled with the lock before opening the door. Turning around, she waved goodbye and then stepped into the house closing the door behind her.

Ali turned sadly to the taxi driver and gave him directions to his home. “That’s probably the last time I’ll see my best friend,” he thought to himself as he sat back in the seat.

“
Hello Steve. How are you?” Ali asked.

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I’m fine. It’s good to hear from you. How are you feeling?” Steve inquired in return.

“
I’m fine, considering everything” Ali said.

“
That’s good to hear. So what are you up to?” Steve asked.

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Nothing much. It’s my mehndi later on. I was feeling a bit down and just wanted to hear your voice,” Ali said. He was sitting on the floor of the extension that had been built for Yunus and his wife, making the phone call using Yunus’s private phone line.

The room was completely bare. Ali’s mother had removed all the furniture from the downstairs rooms of the house and stored the items in the garage for safekeeping until the wedding celebrations were over, so that nothing got damaged by the guests. She had even laid out specially ordered plastic coated fabric on all of the floors for guests to sit on, thereby ensuring that her beloved wilton carpets were protected from any mishaps.

“
What’s mehndi?” Steve asked. “Is it like a stag night?”

“
No, it’s nothing like it. Mehndi means henna. It’s when they put henna on your hands and feet, and all the women sing traditional songs. It was Sajda’s mehndi yesterday, and they’re doing mine tonight. Normally the guy has to go to his fiancée’s house, and it all takes place at the one event, but because we live in different cities, they’ve done two separate ones,” Ali said, trying to explain a small part of the complicated wedding arrangements.

“
So you’re going to have henna tattoos all over your hands and feet?” Steve asked laughing.

“
It’s no laughing matter. I’m dreading it. They’re planning to put henna on my feet. What if they see the tattoo on my calf? No one knows I’ve got one. What am I going to do?” Ali asked worriedly, knowing that people would be horrified to see the Chinese symbol tattooed on his leg.

“
Your trouser leg shouldn’t slip back that much, so I wouldn’t worry about it,” Steve said.

“
I won’t be wearing trousers. I’ve got to wear a white Pakistani suit. You know, a kurtha salwar,” Ali said. “It’s very loose fitting. You must have seen one. You could pull the legs of the salwar up on both sides and make it look like a pair baggy underpants if you wanted to, so they’ll definitely see the tattoo. I’m going to be so embarrassed,” Ali said.

“
Just stick a plaster on it and say you’ve got a cut,” Steve advised.

“
That’s a great idea. I’ll try it, but it’ll have to be a big plaster,” Ali said, the problem now resolved.

“
You seem to be coping with everything a lot better than I had imagined you would,” Steve remarked.

“
I guess it just seems that way, but if you really want to know, I feel completely miserable. I’m just so unhappy.” Ali said, his eyes welling up with tears.

“
Ali, I’m so sorry. I wish I was there, so you didn’t have to go through this on your own,” Steve said, sounding upset as well.

“
I’m sorry. I’m just being silly. When I talk to you it just makes things harder,” Ali said. “I’ve had Haseena looking after me, so there’s no need to worry.”

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How is she?” Steve asked.

“
She’s fine. She arranged a night out for me at the Nightingale last night when my family was away,” Ali said.

“
That was nice of her. Did you have a good time?” Steve asked.

“
It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad either. I just felt as if I was going through the motions. I tried to enjoy myself, but I couldn’t get my mind off the wedding, so we left early. When I got back home I just felt so alone. I couldn’t stop crying,” Ali said. “I feel so drained all of the time. There is no one that I can talk to in the family. They know how bad I’m feeling, but no one mentions it because then they’ll have to acknowledge that I’m unhappy.”

“
Ali, that’s awful. How can they carry on putting you through this?” Steve asked in disbelief.

“
I don’t know. I guess they think that once I’m married I’ll be happy. I don’t think they realize what they’re doing to me,” Ali said.

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Do you think you’ll be happy?” Steve asked.

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I’m hoping I will. I don’t know,” Ali said. “Anyway, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking to you about all of this.”

“
You don’t need to be sorry, Ali. I’m still here for you. I’ll always be here for you no matter what,” Steve said reassuringly. “I love you, you know.”

“
I love you, too, but you’d be so much happier if you moved on with your life. You can’t stay around waiting for me,” Ali said.

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I know. I can’t help it. I can’t move on yet,” Steve said, sounding as if he was about to cry. “I just love you so much. I miss you.”

“
I’m sorry, Steve. I never wanted to hurt you like this,” Ali said.

“
Hush, you have nothing to be sorry about. Where are you ringing from,” he asked suddenly.

“
From Yunus’s phone line,” Ali said.

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I can hear an echo on the line. I think someone might be listening,” Steve said sounding suspicious.

“
There’s no one. You’re being paranoid. The phone’s separate from the main phone line in the house,” Ali said. “To be honest, I don’t really care if anyone’s listening. I’ve sacrificed a lot for this family. Maybe they need to find out just how much.”

“
Oh, Ali,” Steve sighed.

“
Nobody here is interested in me. They are all too busy deciding what they’re going to wear. I’m just the spare part that they’ll roll out on the wedding day. They don’t understand that it’s my life that they’re destroying. I just hate all of them,” Ali ranted angrily.

“
You don’t really hate them. If you did, you wouldn’t be getting married. You could have left if you’d really wanted to. In fact, I think you still can,” Steve said.

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It’s too late. I can’t leave. Everything is so out of my control,” Ali said. “Anyway, I don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to you again. It’ll probably be after the wedding now.”

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I hope so. I know things will change between us after the wedding, but I hope you’ll stay in touch,” Steve said sadly.

“
I will. I promise,” Ali said, wondering deep down whether he’d be able to keep this promise.

“
I love you,” Steve said.

“
Same here,” Ali replied reassured by Steve’s words. “I’ll try and call you soon.”

“
Goodbye, darling, try and be brave,” Steve said.

“
I will. I love you. Goodbye,” Ali said, as he put the handset down reluctantly. He cradled the phone in his lap for a few moments and began to cry. He missed Steve so much. What were things going to be like once he was married? What if he never saw Steve again? “What am I going to do?” he muttered to himself tearfully. “I should just kill myself. That would teach them!”

Ali imagined his mother finding an empty bottle of painkillers at the side of his lifeless body and blaming herself for the cause of his apparent suicide. “I could write a suicide note and blame all of them,” Ali thought. His whole body felt empty, and the pain he was feeling made him feel nauseas. He burst into tears of self pity as the image of his suicide played in his head.

“
I should end it all then see whether they can have the wedding without me,” Ali thought, before breaking into another flood of tears.

“
Why are you crying?” he heard Yasmin’s voice say. When he looked up, she was towering over him looking down at him with suspicion in her eyes.

“
I’m not crying,” Ali shouted angrily at her.

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Who were you talking to on the phone?” she asked, looking at the phone in his lap.

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None of your damn business! All you ever do is go around poking your nose in other people’s business. It’s like you’ve haven’t got a life of your own,” Ali yelled at her.

“
What’s upset you?” she asked, trying a different tact. Somehow she managed to sound genuinely concerned.

“
Leave me alone, Yasmin. Just go away! I can’t stand the sight of you!” Ali said furiously, venting his anger and frustration at her.

“
Ali, I’m your older sister. I worry about you. Who’s upset you? Was it someone on the phone? Did they want you to do something that you didn’t want to do?” Yasmin asked.

“
There was no one on the phone. Just leave me alone,” Ali said beginning to shake with anger.

“
I care about you, Ali. I love you. You’re my own flesh and blood. I don’t like seeing you so upset and hurt,” Yasmin said.

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What do you want from me?” Ali screamed at her angrily.

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I want you to be happy. These next few days should be the happiest days of your life. Instead, you’ve just been moping around as if you’re about to die. You haven’t involved yourself in anything. I don’t understand! It’s meant to be your wedding,” Yasmin said worriedly.

“
You don’t understand? Have you forgotten already? You all forced the wedding on me. I wouldn’t have agreed to this wedding if I had any choice in the matter!” Ali exclaimed, unable to believe Yasmin’s lack of comprehension at what they’d done to him.

“
You weren’t forced into anything. You were leading a lifestyle that was unacceptable for a Muslim. It’s our duty not only as your family, but as Muslims to put you on the right path. What did you expect us to do? Ignore the perverted life you were leading?” Yasmin asked.