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T
he weather warmed up again (if you don’t like the weather in Maine, wait five minutes) so the game was on for Friday. I was a little nervous about going, but excited about seeing Stella cheer. She was just so good at it.

My friends had backed off after that little “talk” they’d had with me during lunch on Wednesday, but I could tell they were still watching me.

“Don’t let them force you into anything,” Grace said, leaning over as we froze our asses off on the bleachers.

“I’m not. Stella and I are tired of hiding. We want to be like everyone else. And it’s not like we’re ashamed, you know? I’m proud of her.” My eyes flicked over to her as she made a funny face at Midori.

“Good. And if you need anyone to kick someone’s ass for you, I volunteer.” I didn’t want her to do that, but her heart was in the right place.

“Thanks.”

“What are best friends for?” She put her arm around me and we snuggled closer together.

“I wish someone looked at me like that,” she said and I tore my eyes away from Stella. Again.

“Huh?”

Grace nodded in Stella’s direction.

“I wish someone looked at me the way you look at her.” I gaped at her and she just grinned.

“It’s really sweet. I’m not jealous, I swear.” Last year, Grace had broken up with her boyfriend she’d had since junior high when he went to a private school an hour away. I knew she still cried about it every now and then. I almost felt like I was rubbing my happiness in her face.

“Grace—” I started to say, but she put her hand up.

“It’s not your fault. I’m really, really happy for you. Just makes me miss when I felt like that.” I put my arm around her.

“You will again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

The game finally started, but I paid even less attention to what was happening on the field than I usually did. Too busy looking at my girl.

She kept flashing looks back at me and once she even winked. She’d asked me if I wanted to come hang out with her and her friends after the game and I’d turned her down, but now I was rethinking it.

“Do you want to go to the barn party with me?” There was a guy, Raylan Ford, whose parents had a farm with an old barn on their property and didn’t really care what he and his friends did to it since they were just going to demolish it anyway.

Grace made a face.

“I’d rather not subject myself to the rednecks tonight.” I had a feeling she’d say that, and I didn’t blame her. As liberal as our little town was, it was still incredibly white and people didn’t get called out on their shit as much as they should sometimes.

“Yeah, okay,” I said, looking back at Stella.

“But for you, I’ll do it. Unless someone says something. Then I’m out.” I stared at her.

“Seriously?” That was a best friend right there.

“Yeah, who knows? It could be fun.” I wasn’t sure about that. I’d never gone to one of the barn parties because it had never appealed to me, but Stella appealed to me and anywhere she was, that was where I wanted to be. So we were going to a barn party.

I
waited on the bleachers for Stella to pack up her stuff and for most of the crowd from the game to disperse. Grace said she had to “get something from her car” so she’d left me by myself a few minutes ago.

“Hey, baby,” Stella said, coming over. “I bet I could give you a hug right now and no one would think anything.” I got up and put my arms out and she walked into them.

“Hi,” I said, hugging her and not even caring that she was sweaty.

“Hi back. I saw you staring at me.”

“Am I not allowed to stare at my girlfriend?” She pulled back and I reached up to adjust the bow she had on top of her head, adorning her high ponytail.

“Oh, that’s right. You totally are.” She gave me a sweet smile.

“So, I think Grace and I are going to the barn party.” Her face lit up.

“Really? That would be so great. Then we can all hang out together. My theory is if we bring our groups together enough, they’ll just mesh and make one big group.” She was so cute.

“We’ll see.” I gave her another hug and said I would meet her at the party with Grace.

I headed to my car and found Grace leaning on it, messing with her phone.

“I can drive so we only have to take one car. You just say the word and I’ll bring you back.”

She gave me a thumbs up and we got in the car.

I
was both apprehensive and exited that Kyle was coming to the party. Both feelings churned in my stomach as I drove myself and Midori way out to the boonies where the barn was.

“So she’s coming?” I’d told Midori that Kyle and Grace were going to meet us there.

“Yup. We’re not going to be official, but this is the first time we’ve hung out in public together, so . . .” I turned off onto a dirt road and slowed down so my car wouldn’t bottom out on the potholes.

“It’s a shame you can’t just be together like everyone else.” I swerved to avoid a huge branch and winced as we bumped over the uneven road. We’d had to take the back way to the farm because the cops in town liked to cruise and try and find parties to bust.

“Yeah, it is. Someday, though.”

At last we arrived and I parked my car in the field next to a rusted-out truck and looked for Kyle. I sent her a text and then saw her waving from another row of cars.

Midori and I walked over and joined Kyle and Grace.

“Hey,” I said to both of them. I hoped this wasn’t going to be painfully awkward.

Kyle just grabbed my hand and then gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was stunned when I pulled back.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

“They’re so cute it’s painful,” Grace said to Midori.

“Tell me about it.”

And that was it.

The four of us headed to the party, Kyle and I holding hands since it was dark and no one would probably see. Grace and Midori started talking about comics (apparently Midori’s older sister was going to college to do the art for graphic novels) and completely ignored us.

“Well, that worked out,” Kyle said in my ear as we approached the barn. A couple of people had a bonfire going near (but not too near) the barn and were throwing shit on it and yelling as the sparks flared up. There was music coming from the open barn doors.

I sighed and dropped Kyle’s hand. It was like a punch in the stomach until she grabbed it back.

“No. I’m not hiding. I’m not stopping myself from touching you because of other people. Seriously, fuck that.” I stopped walking and turned to face her.

“Really?”

“Hell, yeah. I was thinking about it all day today and I’m ready. I’m ready for this.” She held up our joined hands and I felt tears in the corners of my eyes.

“So this is it? We’re doing this at a shitty barn party where everyone will probably be too stoned or drunk to remember on Monday?” She shrugged.

“Guess so.”

Midori and Grace had stopped walking ahead of us, just at the entrance to the barn. They both looked down at our hands and then started clapping.

“Oh, shut up,” Kyle said.

“I used to think you were a complete bitch, but Kyle has assured me that you aren’t, so I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt,” Grace said, looking at me.

“Thank you?”

“Uh huh,” she said and then started talking to Midori again.

“Let’s go, baby,” Kyle said, tugging on my hand.

I
wasn’t sure what I expected when we walked in. Maybe an explosion. Or for everyone to comically freeze and gasp in unison.

Neither of those things happened.

“We got this,” Kyle said, squeezing my hand. A few people glanced over, looked down at our joined hands and then just started talking again. One dude yelled out “Hey, dykes!” but he was standing on a barrel and fell off immediately after.

“This isn’t so bad,” I said as we found a corner away from the music that had a few rotting benches we could sit on. We had to walk through pockets of pot smoke and I was glad the ceiling of the barn was basically gone so we weren’t drowning in it. The beams were strung with lanterns and half-dead twinkle lights, all powered with orange extension cords. The entire thing was probably a fire hazard, but so far, so good.

“We’re going to get drinks,” Midori said. “Do you guys want anything?” I looked at Kyle.

“Water? Or Coke. Nothing alcoholic,” I said and Kyle agreed. Grace and Midori went off for the drinks and it was just the two of us.

“This is so weird,” Kyle said, leaning closer to me and then kissing me on the cheek.

“But not weird at the same time,” I said, kissing the back of her hand.

“Exactly.”

A
few girls from the squad came over and they were stunned for a few seconds, but after we talked to them and said, yes, we were together, they wanted to know everything.

“OMG, can I come to your wedding?” Candace asked.

“Um, we literally just started dating. I think it’s a little early for that. Right, babe?” Kyle blushed and there was a chorus of awwws. It was a bit like being an exhibit in a zoo. Finally, their curiosity was satisfied and a bunch of them went to dance.

“I guess we’re cute,” Kyle said as Midori and Grace came back and handed us our drinks.

“You are cute. It’s gross,” Grace said, popping the top of her soda. A lot of the cheer girls were dancing with their boyfriends or other guys all in one big heaving clump. I remembered doing that and it had been fun, but I wasn’t a fan of having a guy pressing his dick into my ass and then getting a hard-on while we were grinding.

“Whatever,” Kyle said.

I expected more attention from the guys, but a lot of them were out at the bonfire, busy with their own girls, or drunk off their asses.

I did hear a few wolf whistles and one guy walked by and asked if we would bang him, but we just ignored him. It honestly wasn’t that bad. So far. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I shouldn’t stay too late. My parents are actually enforcing my curfew now,” Kyle said with a rueful smile. “I never had a reason to stay out before you, girlfriend.”

“I’m flattered,” I said, fluttering my lashes at her.

“Hey, you’re not the only gays at this party,” Grace said, pointing with her soda can.

Across the room were Tris and her girlfriend, Polly, standing close together and talking with some people. I’d never seen them interacting that much outside of their usual group.

“Should we go say something?” Kyle asked. “What’s the protocol here?”

I laughed.

“I have no idea. But maybe we should let them come to us. I’m sure word has gotten out by now.” It definitely would by Monday. We’d really done this with a bang, but why the hell not?

Someone turned the music up since more people had moved out to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room.

“Do you want to dance with me?” I asked Kyle and her face went white.

“Um, no. I don’t think so.” She looked away from me. I glanced at Grace and she just gave me a shrug.

“Why not?” I asked, brushing a wisp of hair over her ear.

She heaved a heavy sigh.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not very coordinated. And you are a goddess.” I almost laughed. No one had ever called me that before.

“Everyone can dance.” She gave me a look as if I’d said something stupid.

“Oh, this is ridiculous, come on.” I stood up and pulled her to her feet, against her protests.

“We won’t go over there,” I said, pointing to the main floor. “We’ll dance right here.”

I closed my eyes for a second and the song switched to a country song with a fast and driving beat.

“Stellll,” Kyle whined. “I don’t want to do this.” I gave her the quickest of kisses and winked.

“You will.”

I turned around and grabbed her hands, placing them on my hips as I found the beat of the music and started moving my hips. Kyle was stiff for a second.

“Just follow me,” I said, leaning my head back against her.

She finally started moving with me.

“Fuck,” she breathed in my ear. I smiled and melted into her.

Our bodies fit. Perfectly. As if they were made for one another. Curves against curves. Her fingers dug into my hips and I couldn’t get over the feel of her against my back and her hips moving with mine.

The only downside was that I couldn’t see her face, so I rotated until we were facing one another.

She didn’t let go of my hips. I put my hands on her shoulders and then we were dancing face-to-face and I would never, for the rest of my life, forget the way she looked at me.

As if she wanted to devour me and worship me at the same time. I couldn’t look away from her green eyes.

I’d never wanted anything the way I wanted her.

The song finally ended and we were both breathing hard. It flipped to another country song that I wasn’t as fond of.

“I want you so bad right now,” Kyle said, pressing her forehead to mine. My fingers shook a little as I held her face and kissed her lips.

“Me, too.”

Our eyes locked and I knew it was only a matter of time. I wanted to take her hand and drag her out and fuck her in the backseat of my car. Hell, I’d settle for a nice patch of grass.

“I can’t even think,” Kyle said. “I can’t even think about anything but you.”

The words clogged the back of my throat, desperate to get out. I clamped my mouth shut. I couldn’t. Not yet.

Not yet.

“I want to do so many things right now, Ky,” I whispered. She made a little sound in the back of her throat that didn’t help the situation at all.