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S
o we got a few yells, a few lewd comments, and a few gay slurs shot at us. Kyle just squeezed my hand and we kept walking together until we had to part to go to our separate homerooms.

Kyle kissed the back of my hand and said she’d see me at lunch and I went off to class.

I got more comments from people in class, but they were such poor attempts at insults that I just let them roll off my back.

Kyle texted me asking how it was going and I sent back that it was nothing I couldn’t handle. Actually, those years of psychological torture had really prepared me for dealing with homophobia. Guess I should go back and thank the bullies for toughening me up.

All in all, most people didn’t seem to care. Those that did had short attention spans and got distracted or ran out of insults when they saw I wasn’t bothered by them.

Kyle and I met right outside the cafeteria with Midori and Grace. The two of them had struck up a friendship independent of us, which was great. No stress about them getting along.

Instead of me sitting with the cheerleaders and Kyle sitting with her friends, we found and empty table and claimed it. Grace and Midori joined us, followed by several of Kyle’s friends (some of whom kept giving me wary looks) and surprisingly, Tris and Polly. A few of the cheer girls kept looking over as if they wanted to join, but they stayed where they were. I didn’t mind. As long as I had Kyle and Midori, I had who I needed.

“You don’t seem like a lesbian,” Molly’s boyfriend Tommy, said. She admonished him.

“What? She doesn’t.”

“And what does a lesbian ‘seem’ like?” Tris asked, narrowing her eyes.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times and then mumbled something.

“That’s what I thought,” Tris said. “Anybody else have questions?” Everyone looked really uncomfortable.

“Okay, if no one will ask, I will. How does scissoring work?” Grace asked. I burst out laughing and so did everyone else. Even Tris cracked a smile. The tension was broken and the rest of the time was much less hostile.

“You’re welcome,” Grace said in my ear.

“S
o that wasn’t so bad, right?” Kyle said as I met her by our cars in the parking lot. Cheer practice had been cancelled so we were going to hang out together.

“Not really. I have to say, people aren’t very creative with their lesbian insults. I got the same ones over and over. They really need better material.” She snorted and put her arms around me. We rocked back and forth.

“Oh, I love you, my sexy cheerleader.”

“I love you, my cute nerd.”

We hadn’t talked about the college thing today and I had the feeling Kyle was purposefully avoiding it.  We were going to have to discuss it at some point, but not today.

“You wanna go makeout in my car?” she asked and I jerked back from the hug to find her wiggling her eyebrows.

“Hell, yeah.”

Making out solved most problems.

I
was trying to give her some space on the college thing. I really thought that she was going to come around if I let her think it through. I didn’t really want to tell her that I was going to end up at an in-state school, or a private school that gave me the best financial aid package. She didn’t have as many restrictions. It would be totally different if she had a dream school she’d always wanted to go to and I would somehow keep her from that. She’d always talked about college in general terms and I knew she didn’t have a preference. So why not go together?

We could even be roommates, which would just be awesome. Then we could make out in her bed or my bed, or even push them together. I was trying not to get ahead of myself, but I definitely couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Now that we had tackled all the hurdles (so far) to be together, it seemed foolish to put more obstacles in our way that didn’t need to be there.

But I was patient. I could wait for her to get there. And while I waited, we could just make out a lot.

I
also hadn’t stopped thinking about what we’d said the night of the barn party. About giving each other everything. It kept me up most nights, actually. I thought about all the different ways it could happen. In a hotel room, at one of our houses, in the backseat of one of our cars. I wanted it to be special (in a non-cheesy way), but there wasn’t really a way to do that. Unless I lied to my parents, which I really didn’t want to do.

So I was out of ideas. I even looked shit up on Tumblr, but that was no help. If only one of us had an apartment.

There were a few times over the next two weeks where we got very, very close. We’d gotten shirts off, but hadn’t gone further than that. Either one of us had put the brakes on, or we’d been interrupted for whatever reason.

“What do you think my parents would say if I told them I was sleeping over at Stella’s?” I asked Grace when we were hanging out while Stella was at work.

“They would probably say no. But maybe not? If you’re really mature about it, who knows?” That was true. She’d told me to be careful, but maybe . . .

The potential of being with Stella for the night was enough for me to get up the courage to ask.

“Mom?” She was in the midst of making dinner and Dad was still at work.

“Yes, honey?”

“What would you say if I asked to sleep over at Stella’s?” She froze with a carrot and a peeler in her hand.

She inhaled through her nose and set both the carrot and the peeler down, bracing herself on the counter.

“I’d say . . .  I don’t know. I know you’re both eighteen and technically adults, but I’m not sure I’m ready to condone . . .  that . . .  either.” She finally looked at me.

“I figured. But I wanted to do the mature thing and ask. I would never go behind your back.” She gave me a tight smile.

“I’ll think about it. Okay? I promise to think about it.” That was good enough for me. It wasn’t a no.

“Thanks, Mom.” I gave her a hug and asked if I could give her a hand.

A
few days later Stella and I were laying side-by-side on her bed just staring at each other. I never knew how good that could be. Just to lay and breathe next to another person.

“I asked my mom if I could sleep over,” I said as she walked her fingers up and down my arm.

“You did? Are you nuts?” I shrugged my shoulder.

“I didn’t want to sneak around. Because then if we got caught, I wouldn’t get to see you anymore. And that’s not worth risking. I’d rather have some time than no time. That would kill me.” She nodded.

“Agreed. What did she say?”

“The jury is still out. I haven’t brought it up again, but I think she might say yes.” Stella raised one eyebrow.

“Oh, really? And what if she said yes? Would that mean what I think it would mean?” I grinned.

“Yes, indeed.” She threw her leg over mine and moved a little closer.

“So I should get some candles and some fancy sheets and maybe some lingerie?” I almost died at the thought of her in lacy lingerie.

“As long as you don’t care about my non-sexy underwear.” I had never owned anything made of lace. My undies were utilitarian, not sexy.

“Ky. It’s not the underwear I want to see. It’s what’s
under
the underwear.” I giggled.

“I guess you have a point.”

“So, you think you’re ready?” She pressed her forehead against mine.

“Yeah. Are you?” She bit her bottom lip and said one word against my lips.

“Yes.”