Supernatural Abundance: A Journey To The Father's House (5 page)

There were several seconds of silence before Adam realized that his jaw was hanging open. Words kept coming to mind – It's good to see you, I've missed you, how has it been – but nothing was able to make its way out.

Finally, Adam said the only thing he could manage, "
Jonathan.
"

"
Hey, there it is,
" his brother said forcing a laugh. "
I knew you'd get it eventually.
"

Adam tried to push out a laugh in response, but it ended up sounding more like he was clearing his throat. There were a few more moments of strained silence before he could manage to get something else out, "
You've grown so much.
"

Jonathan let out a genuine laugh, "
Time will do that to you.
"

He had always been tall, but Jonathan used to be skinny. Now he was tan and muscular with sharp features and warm eyes, nothing like when Adam saw him last. Though it had been years since he and Jonathan had been in the same room, longer in fact than Adam and his Father had been estranged, the memories came flooding back as clear and familiar as if only a few days had passed.
 

Jonathan and Adam were close. They played together; they learned together, and they grew up together. There was only a year between them, but Adam took the role of older brother very seriously. He made sure Jonathan got his homework done. He made sure Jonathan had all his supplies before going to school. He made sure all the older boys were kind to Jonathan during baseball games. And Jonathan loved him for it.

Things began to change as the boys grew older. Adam was being given more and more responsibilities around the farm, and, as his responsibilities grew, his time for being a big brother diminished. Jonathan took it well at first, wanting to support his brother's success. But since he hardly knew what it was like to live life without Adam by his side, he soon began spending most of his days walking aimlessly around the farm. This lack of direction came to its head when the boys reached their late teens.
 

The memory was so burned in Adam's mind that he could recall every detail. It was a Thursday afternoon. He was in the barn, showing his Father a plan for a new kind of plow he had designed. The warmth of the sun was heating the sawdust, and filling the place with the smell of fresh cut wood. Adam and his Father were so focused on the plans that they hadn't heard Jonathan come in.

"
Excuse me,
" Jonathan finally said once it was clear that they hadn't noticed him.

"
Oh,
" Their Father gave a little surprised jump, "
I'm sorry, son. I didn't see you there.
"

"
I want my inheritance.
" Jonathan spoke flatly. It was only then that Adam noticed how strange his brother looked. His skin was slightly pale and covered in a fine layer of sweat. His breathing was sharp and irregular, and Adam thought he noticed a faint trembling.

"
I'm sorry?
" Their Father said with genuine puzzlement.

"
I want my inheritance, my share of the estate,
" he said, this time with more authority. "
I've thought about it. I've had a lot of time to think about it, and there's no reason for me to stay here.
"

Adam stood stunned. Jonathan was clearly speaking to his Father, but Adam couldn't help but feel that every word was directed at him.

Jonathan continued, "
I'm no farmer. I'm no good at working the vineyards, and I can't build anything to save my life. So I'd like my inheritance so that I can start something on my own.
"

Their Father looked at the ground, considering. Then he said, "
You are sure?
"

But Jonathan interrupted him, his voice taking on a forced formal tone, "
I just think I should seek my fortune elsewhere.
"

There was a long pause, and then their Father reached into his back pocket and pulled out his checkbook. Adam felt his face go numb. His hands went cold. He watched, frozen, as his Father wrote the largest check he had ever seen in his life and handed it to his little brother.
 

With nothing more than a curt, "
Thank you,
" Jonathan turned on his heel and marched out of the barn. Adam stood, locked in mingled shock and confusion. When he could finally move, he ran out of the barn. He looked left and right for his brother, feeling panicked now, then ran toward the house. But before he could make it there, he saw Jonathan's car pulling out of the driveway and on to the main road.

Adam had called, of course. He even visited Jonathan in the city once. Jonathan smiled and joked as he always did, assuring that everything was fine, that this was just something he needed to do for himself. But their interaction felt like a pale imitation of remembered brotherly love. A wall had been built between them, and Adam was not sure how long it had been there.
 

There had been plenty of arguments between Adam and his Father, “
Why did you let him go? Why did you give him the money?
” These always ended with his Father giving the same answer, “
Jonathan needs to find his way. It will do him no good if we find it for him.
”

It wasn't long before stories about Jonathan made their way back to the house. Adam knew that something must be wrong once his brother stopped taking his calls. Before long he began hearing stories of elaborate and expensive parties, fast cars, and illicit substances. Eventually the stories became so painful to hear, that Adam stopped listening to them. That place in his heart his brother once held had finally frozen over. He never saw his brother again, at least not face to face, not until now.

Adam stared at Jonathan as he stood in his old bedroom. Jon looked just like the man that Adam had always imagined he would grow up to be. Despite the years of sorrow and pain his brother had caused, Adam could feel that old and cold part of his heart begin to warm again.

Without another word, Adam ran forward and wrapped his arms around his brother. Jonathan immediately returned the embrace, gripping tight. Both brothers began to shake as deep welling sobs came forth.
 

"
I'm so sorry,
" Jonathan said in between sobs, "
I'm so so sorry.
"

Adam pulled away and held the sides of his brother's head so that he could look him in the eye, "
No, Jon. I am the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who gave up on you. I'm the one who stopped being your brother. I stopped long before you did. I got so lost in trying to do well for Father, that I stopped being there for you.
"

A smile bloomed on Jonathan's face, the same infectious grin he'd had since they were young, "
Well, we’ll call it even then.
"

Adam felt a pang of guilt surge through him, "
I'm sorry I didn't come to see you when you came back.
"

The smile on Jon's face widened, "
Oh come now, you still had things to work out. I knew even then it was more about you sorting things with Father than me.
"

Adam wiped the tears from his face, "
I guess so.
"

"
Go to him,
" Jonathan said. "
We'll catch up afterward. It'll be easier to talk once everything is cleared.
"

"
Where is He?
" Adam asked.

"
Oh, I think you know,
" his charismatic smile returned. "
Where else would He be?
"

Adam turned, knowing all at once where his Father would be waiting. The spot … His favorite place in the house, and the place where everything had broken down. Howard stood in the doorway, beaming.
 

Adam had been so surprised by the sight of his brother that he had almost completely forgotten that the old caretaker was there, "
Are you coming, Howard?
"

"
No, I think I'll stay here. The rest is for you and your Father.
"

Jonathan wrapped an arm around his brother, "
I'll walk you down.
"

Life changed after Jonathan left to "seek his fortune elsewhere." Once it became clear that his brother would not be returning, Adam lost himself in his work. Every waking moment was about making the farm run better. More efficiency, better training for his workers, higher yields on every harvest. These were the things that consumed him.
 

His Father maintained his cheery demeanor and deep interest in everything that Adam was doing, but His sadness was still apparent. Sometimes Adam would find Him upstairs staring out the window that overlooked the driveway, like He expected Jonathan to come back any moment. But he didn't, not for years.

Word of Jonathan's many exploits only caused Adam to dive even deeper into his work. Eventually news came that Jon's elaborate parties were losing some of their luster. It was clear that his inheritance, though vast, did have its limitations. Adam felt only a passing sense of pity. It was bound to happen eventually, after all.
 

It was a warm summer afternoon on the day it happened, the thing that tore Adam and his Father apart. Adam was out in the fields, checking on the progress of the wheat. He was focused on his work as usual. Jotting detailed notes about every acre on a notepad, when he noticed a man walking down the driveway. The man was dirty and thin. His skin had a pallid, sickly tone, and his tousled hair had been died three or four different shades of blue.
 

Adam thought the man looked vaguely familiar, but couldn't quite place him. Then the front door of the house burst open with a crash that made him jump. He turned and looked to see his Father come sprinting out of the house at full speed. He knocked over a potted plant as He leapt from the doorstep, but He didn't stop even as the pot shattered on the cobblestone. Father ran; his arms open wide, shouting something that Adam couldn't quite make out until he drew close.

"
My son! My son! My Son has returned!
" his Father shouted over and over again at the top of His lungs.

With dawning understanding, Adam turned to look once more at the broken and disheveled man that was shuffling up the driveway. It was a pale and underfed facsimile of his younger brother, but there could be no question.
 

Father sprinted all the way down the drive, colliding with Jonathan so forcefully that they both nearly toppled over. But rather than falling, Father lifted Jon into the air in a great big bear hug. Howard came jogging just behind Father.

"
Bring a shirt,
" Father said to the caretaker, "
One of the nice ones.
"

Howard turned, but then Father called after him, "
And find the biggest, fattest calf. I think we need to have a feast.
" He then pulled the ring off His finger and slipped it on Jonathan's, "
Yes, a feast, because my son was dead and now he is alive again.
" Even from where he stood, Adam could see the tears rolling down his Father's face, "
He was lost but now he is found.
"

"
I was coming back to work for him,
" Jonathan's voice broke Adam out of the memory as they both made their way down the hall together.

"
What?
"

"
I spent all the money,
" he said, lowering his head. "
You must have known that. I didn't know you could spend that much money so fast,
" he gave a half-hearted laugh. "
I lost my apartment, and all of my 'friends' left. I was up to my ears in debt. I was a junkie, I couldn't get a job.
"

Adam paused at the top of the stairs. He had never heard why his brother had decided to come home. He assumed that when the money ran out, Jonathan had come running back to Father to beg for more.
 

"
I tried to find work for months,
" Jon continued. "
Finally I managed to get something under the table at a pig farm. I only got paid a few bucks an hour to feed the pigs. I knew things were bad when the pig slop started looking tasty.
" He gave another pathetic laugh, "
I figured that Dad's workers have it fifty times better than this. All of them can put food on their own tables.
"

Adam rested a hand on his brother's back, "
I didn't know.
"

"
I was too ashamed to come back, but I might not have made it otherwise. I had this whole speech planned about how He didn't need to treat me as a son anymore, that I'd be happy to be treated just as one of His workers.
" A fresh tear rolled down Jonathan's face, "
But I didn't get a chance to say that speech. Dad grabbed me and squeezed the air out of me. Before I could speak, there was a ring on my finger, and I was being changed into fresh clothes.
"

Adam remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"
I know you left just after I came back, and I think I know why.
" With that smile again, "
I just want you to know that it's okay. I had to run away for a while to get my head on straight. I don't hold it against you for doing the same.
"

Adam smiled and looked down the stairs, "
I guess that leaves only one more thing to fix.
"