Supernatural Abundance: A Journey To The Father's House (6 page)

"
Go to Him, Adam. I'll see you after.
"

Memory came flooding back as Adam descended the stairs, unbidden and unstoppable, but not as unwanted as it used to be. It was as if he was walking to go relive that terrible moment again, that moment when the connection between him and his Father broke.
 

Adam hadn't returned from the fields upon Jonathan's return. He had been so surprised, not only by his brother's sudden appearance, but also his Father's dramatic response to it. So much effort had been put toward shutting in the emotions that his brother's departure and debauchery had caused, that Adam didn't know what to do with them as they welled up one after the other. He was glad. There was no doubt about that. Of course he was glad his brother had come back. He could have died or been forever lost in some drug induced stupor. But Adam was also angry. Angry at his brother for leaving, angry at his Father for being so immediately forgiving, and angry at himself for being so angry. There was sadness too, but he couldn't figure out why.

It was near sunset when he finally started making his way back home from the fields. He could hear the sound of celebration long before he was near the door. He hesitated at the front door for a long moment, not sure whether to smile or frown as he entered. Finally he decided that he would go in around back.
 

The sun was setting when he stepped on the back porch, the spot, his favorite spot. He stood there, telling himself that he wanted to watch the sun go down before going inside, but knowing that there was another reason.
 

"
There you are, Adam.
" Howard's voice came from behind. "
I hadn't seen you. Did you know that your brother…
"

"
Yes, I saw him,
" Adam interrupted, trying to keep the mixed emotions out of his voice. "
I'll be in soon, I just want to watch the sun.
"

"
Very well,
" the old caretaker responded, not at all convinced.

The sounds of the party grew momentarily louder as Howard opened the door to enter. This only served to anger Adam further. A party! Really? Your son throws away his entire inheritance and the first thing You do is throw him a party.
 

"
Hello son.
" The sudden sound of his Father's voice made him jump.

He turned, "
Hello Father.
"

"
Is there something wrong?
"
 

That patient tone, and the polite questioning. It only made Adam's blood boil.

"
Look!
" Adam said, jabbing his finger at his Father, "
All these years I've been slaving for You, and never once disobeyed You, and You've never given me anything close to a party like that.
" This was not entirely true, and Adam knew it. But the anger was beginning to cloud his mind, "
And now Your son squandered Your money on who knows what, and the first thing You do is throw him a party?
"

His Father frowned, clearly hurt, "
You are always with me, Adam. Everything I have is yours, everything.
"

"
So You just want me to take it and throw it all away! Well I'm not like that. I've tried to expand Your fields, make You richer. I've worked day in and day out to do great things for You. And now You celebrate when he comes home to get more of what he wasted?
"

"
We have to celebrate, Adam. Your brother was dead, but now he is alive. He was lost, but now he is found!
"

Still the cloud in Adam's mind darkened. Hardly thinking about what he was doing, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to his Father's house, the handmade key that his Father had forged with a little eagle figure at the top.
 

"
Well, I'm glad, Father, I'm glad You got your son back. At least you'll have one.
" Then he threw the key over the edge of the deck where it clattered against the cliff and fell into the ocean.
 

The memory returned again and again as he walked down the stairs, playing through his mind like a song stuck on repeat. His Father had called out to him as he stomped off, but Adam hadn't heard.
 

Though the pain was still there, he didn’t see the memory the way he had for all those years. Anytime the memory had come to him before, he viewed it through a red cloud of anger. Now it only made him sad. For the first time Adam realized how much he had thrown away with that key. He fingered the eagle key on the ring of keys that Howard had given him. It was time to put an end to all the sadness and anger. It was time to let it go once and for all. With a deep breath, Adam stepped down the last step, and walked through the door to the porch where his Father was waiting.

Adam felt like he was stepping right back into that day so many years ago. The sun was beginning to set, and the view was as perfect and breathtaking as it was the last time he and his Father stood here. Father stood with an expression as bright as the sun setting behind Him.

"
Hello Adam.
"

"
Hello Father.
"

"
How I've missed you,
" the kindness in His voice could be matched only by the kindness in His eyes. "
It has been far too long!
"

His Father stepped forward, arms open, and wrapped him in a loving embrace. Adam shrank back, more from surprise at the sudden contact than anything else.

"
It's alright, son. I'm just glad you're here.
"
 

Father held him against His chest, so tight that Adam could hear the sound of His heartbeat. Simple as it was, he felt as though the embrace was nurturing him, feeding his soul.
 

"
I'm sorry,
" the words leapt suddenly from his mouth, but they were true, "
I'm so sorry.
"

"
That's alright,
" He said with a smile. "
You showed up, and sometimes that's all it takes.
"

Adam made himself smile. It was not as difficult as he expected.

"
You've let me show you quite a lot today, and for that I'm grateful.
" He let go of Adam with one hand, but held him tight with the other, "
But I have to ask you to indulge me just a bit further, because I have a few more things to say.
"

Adam nodded.

His Father smiled, and then continued, "
You are my son, Adam. You always have been and you always will be. I know that I have a great many children. In fact, I've never met anyone that is not my child. But that doesn't mean I love you less than any of them. I realize it's easy for me to say that, any one could say it. That's why I do things the way that I do, because you knowing my love for you, is the most important thing to me, and true love has to be shown.
"

Though he was a grown man now, it was amazing how being near his Father like this made him feel as he always had, as a child. It was wonderful!

"
Now there's risk in showing something rather than saying it.
" His Father continued, "
In fact a great risk! What if people see what you're showing, but misunderstand it? Or what if they won't look at all? I've been trying to show you how much I care for you, and you have been refusing to see for some time now. But there's nothing quite like seeing the light in someone's eyes when they find what you've hidden for them. Nothing like it! So I take the risk! I take the chance my affections may go unnoticed, because it is worth the risk, and I trust my children." He pointed at the key in Adam's hand, "Do you know why I put an eagle on the top of your key?
"

Adam shook his head.

"
Because you've got eagle's eyes, son. You see what no one else can. You see what's in the distance and the path to get there. That's why I put you in charge of my fields. I knew you'd make them great.
"

"
Why didn't I get a party?
" Adam realized how childish it sounded, knew it was silly. But it came out all the same.

His Father smiled, "
That is the question, isn't it? Why didn't I get a party? Why won't people come to my shop? Why did she leave me? Why can't I pay all the bills?
"

Each question sent a pang through Adam's chest.

"
I put a lot of thought into the conversation we had the night you left. I was completely baffled by the idea you thought I wouldn't throw you a party. I know you were upset. Everyone says things they don't mean when they're upset, but those words usually point to the things they really do mean. You see, Jonathan squandered his inheritance. That you know! He spent it on everything he thought would make him feel better about himself, everything that he hoped would fill the hole he felt in his heart. What you may not know is that you squandered your inheritance just as much as Jon did.
"

Adam was surprised at this. He had always been the most frugal person he knew. He even made the decorations for the grand opening at his business just to save a few dollars.
 

His Father answered the question written on his face, "
You squandered your inheritance by letting it sit there.
"

There were a few seconds of silence, enough time for the idea to sink in.

"
I meant what I said last time we stood on this deck together, Adam. 'Everything I have is yours!’ That is true and always has been true. Everything I own became your property the day you were born into my household. You could always take as much or as little of it as you like. Jon took more than he was ready to handle, and it brought him nothing but pain. It has been equally painful for you to deny your inheritance, fighting to prove you don't need it, or you're above it. I don't know when you decided you needed to work to gain my affections or prove your worth, but that has never been true. I've adored you since before you knew what work was.
"

A warmth spread through Adam's stomach, a great gleaming glow. It was a warmth he had known everyday as a child, but had been lost when he left. He thought that this feeling had died after he left his Father, yet here it was, just as bright and new as it had been. In the distance he thought he heard music, then voices. Then he realized that these sounds weren't in his head, they were getting closer and growing louder.

"
What's that sound?
" Adam asked.

"
Ah yes,
" His Father said, releasing his embrace and stepping toward the door to the house, "
You have followed my every invitation as you have made your way through this house. Now I have one last invitation to give. Your brother squandered his inheritance because he didn't know how to manage it. You squandered your inheritance because you let it go to waste. What is the answer then? How much do you need to take, and how much should leave. When are you ready for more? How do you get ready for more?
"

Adam could feel anticipation swelling in his chest.

"
Well, my boy, I can't tell you. It's too beautiful for that. So, once again, I must show you. I'm ready to show you the answer to these and every other question like them. All you have to do is stay close to me and I will show you.
"

Adam smiled, the warmth in his chest filling every inch of his body. The music and sound of people grew even louder.

"
What is that sound?
" He asked again.

His Father laughed, "
I almost forgot. That is your party. My son was dead, but he is alive again. He was lost, but now he is found. At the beginning of this journey I told you I had a gift for you. Here it is,
" He said gesturing toward the door to his house. "
Come in and let me show the abundance I have for you. I've waited far too long,
" as his Father extended his hand to him.

There were still so many questions. There were still places of pain in Adam's heart. But somehow all that didn't matter so much anymore. Maybe his business could be saved, or maybe it couldn't, even that wasn't as important anymore. All that mattered was he was with his Father again. So much of his energy had been sunk into keeping his business afloat, and blocking out the pain he had been feeling. It had been a long time since he had felt this light. Life had been aimless, now he new the direction he had to start going.

"
All right, Dad. Let's see what you can do.
" Then Adam stepped forward into his Father's embrace again, the warmth filling his mind and heart. Together they stepped in to the place they both, once again, called home.