Surrender the Dark (15 page)

“You promised me a bed and I’m holding you to it.” Her smile was dangerous and electric as she turned the tables on him so fast, it made his head spin. “And you can take that literally if you think you’re the only one in charge here.”

Stunned, he found himself ducking his head to hide—of all things—another smile. Damn if she didn’t send him around the block every other minute. Here he was, as hard as the boulders that covered her mountain, and instead of resenting the aching frustration that just might kill him, he was sitting on the floor of her office, smiling stupidly in anticipation of the next parry and thrust in their ongoing battle of wills. Never had planning strategies been so intriguing, never had the goal
been so compelling. Never had success been so very important.

For the first time in his adult life he wished the world would go away and leave him alone so that, just this once, he could have this one thing for himself.

But when he turned to watch as she pulled out a chair and sat with her back to him, he experienced a flash of gut-searing panic that what he felt for her wasn’t governed by the need centered between his legs, but by the one inside his heart.

He heard Rae swear under her breath, then she punched a couple of buttons, chiding her computer for daring to give her the wrong prompt.

That’s when Jarrett knew just how dangerous the situation had become. He should be getting up, mentally preparing the next step, preparing for Zach’s entrance into the mission. Instead he simply sat there and watched her battle the machine, smiling at the smugness in her voice when the program she was after opened and glowed on the screen.

“Think you can outsmart me, do you?” she muttered triumphantly. She rolled her chair closer and settled in, happy now that her dominance in this situation had been clearly established. Jarrett wondered if she naturally fought for control in all of her relationships—whether with man or machine.

A warmth blossomed inside him as he accepted the rather intimidating fact that he’d like to be around to find out. He ignored the relative improbability of that ever happening and concentrated instead on the surprising
warmth. It took him a second to realize what it was. Happiness.

Happiness.
What in the hell was that?

If anyone had asked him that a week ago, he’d have said that happiness was completing a mission with no loss of life. What did it say about him that he would never have thought about happiness in anything remotely resembling personal terms?

“I’ve set up the file,” Rae said, her back still to him.

Jarrett scooted several feet and snagged his cane, then slowly levered himself to his feet. The downward rush of blood sent his head spinning for a moment. He waited for his vision to clear, then found a padded office chair and rolled it over next to Rae. He carefully lowered himself into it, a small grunt of relief escaping his lips.

She turned to face him. “You sure you’re up to this?”

Around her, he was invariably “up,” was his first thought. That faded as he stared at her. It was always there, he realized, in her eyes, even when they were arguing. Caring, honest concern and, sweet Lord, desire.

For a man who couldn’t have defined happiness in a roomful of dictionaries five days ago, he sure as hell could describe it now, in great detail. It was sitting right next to him.

“Jarrett?”

Why her? And worse, why now? Hell, he admitted silently, when in his life
would
the timing have been right?

He struggled to find his voice, more than a little afraid that when he did speak, it would be to beg her not
to go, to forget about the mission, to say the hell with everything they both believed in and just hole up here in her sanctuary in the mountains and never come down.

Personal happiness. Now he knew why he’d never allowed himself to consider it. You couldn’t get hurt if you lost something you never had.

“I’m ready,” he said shortly, struggling to get back into the role he was supposed to be playing. He didn’t even attempt to analyze when he’d begun to think of it as a role. “I’m sure as hell not going to be climbing those stairs again anytime soon. So it’s now or never.”

Rae studied him closely for a long moment, making him wonder if he hadn’t concealed his thoughts as well as he’d believed. But then she turned back to the monitor and keyboard and the moment was gone.

“What do you want the message to say?”

“Since it’s likely Zach won’t be the one picking it up, I’ll have to be careful. It’ll probably be Beaudine, which is what I’m counting on.”

Rae turned to him, eyebrows raised. “Beaudine?”

“Delacroix,” Jarrett said. “Zach’s assistant, housekeeper, cook, and all-around battle-ax.” He was only dimly aware of his smile as he continued. Smiling was getting easier all the time. “She’s somewhere between fifty-five and eighty-five, hasn’t changed by so much as a hair or wrinkle in the five years I’ve known her. She’s a proud Cajun woman whose cooking would make the best chefs in the world weep and who has the kind of contacts that would bring generals to their knees.” His teeth flashed as he added, “Which makes her perfect for Zach since he eats more than anyone I’ve ever met and
is owed favors from the few dozen people Beaudine somehow missed.”

Rae sat back in her chair, stunned. Not only by the smile that had come so naturally to his lips, but by the obvious affection he had for this woman, and for Zach. Affection wasn’t an emotion she associated with Jarrett McCullough. Respect, admiration, even desire, but this … It was clear that in his own way, he loved them both. She wondered if they knew what a rare gift he’d given them.

In the next instant his smile faded and she could have sworn his cheeks colored. That he was self-conscious of what he’d revealed was as obvious as it was endearing. She wondered if he himself had just now realized what he felt for these people he claimed as friends.

“She sounds quite intimidating,” Rae said at last.

Jarrett nodded. “She’s that and more. I’m still not sure how Zach hooked up with her, but they’ve been good for each other, both professionally and personally.” He looked more than a little perturbed by his insight, and cleared his throat. “Anyway, as much as I’m sure his employees are trustworthy, Beaudine is really the only one who’ll know how to contact Zach and relay the message without making any dangerous mistakes.”

“Contact Zach? Where is he?”

Jarrett shrugged. “He could be anywhere. And I mean anywhere. I said before that he’s a thrill seeker by profession. Trust me, the places he goes with his clients don’t usually include little luxuries like fax machines or phones. But Beaudine will reach him.”

“And he’ll just drop everything and fly halfway
around the world to help you out? That’s what I call a friend.”

Looking more uncomfortable by the minute, Jarrett turned his chair to face the desk and pulled the keyboard in front of him. “Like I said, his employees are trustworthy. He’ll get one of them to cover the remainder of whatever trip he’s on. It’ll be okay.” He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as reassure her.

“Do you do this often?” she asked. When he looked at her blankly, she added, “Ask your friends for help, I mean?”

“Not if I can help it.”

There was no trace of a smile now, and the seriousness of the problem they faced was immediately thrust back between them. Rae knew she should have welcomed it, but she would have been lying if she’d said she didn’t enjoy any chance she had to learn more about him.

“But he has helped you before?” she asked, persisting despite knowing she shouldn’t.

Jarrett scowled at her. For a moment she thought he wouldn’t answer, but he did. “Every once in a while. But usually with more planning and certainly with more notice. I’m going to owe him after this one.”

From the look on his face, Jarrett already knew what the payback was likely to be. “And just what does he get you to do for him?” she asked, intrigued.

“Go on vacation.” He said it like a man sentenced to two years’ hard labor.

Rae nodded, understanding that to someone like Jarrett,
a forced break from his life would be one of the toughest things to ask.

“What do you do on these vacations?” She tried to picture him lying on a beach somewhere and couldn’t even imagine it.

A dry smile curved his mouth. “Once a year Zach makes it his mission to reunite the three musketeers of Madison County.”

She laughed at the unexpected answer. “Three musketeers?”

“Zach Brogan, Dane Colbourne, and me. We spent a bunch of years together as kids. We’ve stayed in touch, mainly due to Zach and his trips.” He shook his head. “Like I don’t spend most of the year trying to keep my hide in one piece, and Zach’s idea of a vacation usually involves risking life and limb on a regular basis for several days at a time. And the idiot actually thinks it’s fun.”

“So do you, I think,” Rae said softly, completely entranced with how vibrant and young he looked when he let himself relax.

He made a rusty sound that might have been an attempt at a chuckle. “Yeah, maybe I do.”

“When was the last time you three were together?”

He paused for a moment, the smile fading from his face, the tension slowly returning. “Too long,” he answered. He rolled his shoulders and straightened in his chair. “We’re wasting time we don’t have.”

Rae accepted the change in the direction of their conversation, knowing she’d already stolen more moments from him than she could ever have expected. But
when he started to type, she swiftly slid the keyboard out from under his fingers and back in front of her.

“Hal and I have an agreement.”

He’d already opened his mouth to argue, but as her words sank in he closed it. A second later he asked, “You named your computer?”

Suddenly uncomfortable, Rae struggled not to squirm. She didn’t form attachments easily or often. Ever, actually. And while giving something a name definitely signified commitment to her, naming a machine was hardly the same thing. None of this did she want to explain to Jarrett. Not because she was afraid he wouldn’t understand, but because he was the one person who probably would.

“Yes. You know,” she said, trying to affect a nonchalant tone. “After the computer in the movie
2001: A Space Odyssey.
Like that Hal, he has a mind of his own and will take over at the least provocation. So, unless you want to type this whole thing in and then lose it, you’d better let me do it.”

“If it’s giving you that much trouble, you ought to have it serviced,” Jarrett said. “Obviously something isn’t working right.”

Rae wouldn’t admit it to him or anyone, but she sort of enjoyed her battles with Hal. It wasn’t as if she used the computer that often anyway. “I can’t exactly drop him off at the corner computer store. If it gets worse, I’ll get around to it one of these days.”

She spent a second too long looking at Jarrett and was forced to return her attention to the computer when understanding dawned in his eyes. Dammit, she
thought. He saw too much. In a very short time he was discovering and uncovering too much of what she’d managed to bury in the last two years.

“Just make sure this transmission doesn’t get screwed up,” was all he said.

“Do you encode or encrypt your transmissions with Zach? And would Beaudine be able to decipher them?” she asked, forcibly returning to the task at hand.

“Yes and yes.”

Jarrett spent the next ten minutes dictating what to type and how. Then they sent the message.

“How long do you think it will take for Zach or Beaudine to pick it up?” Rae asked.

“At most a couple of hours. It’s a weekday, so she’ll be in some part of the house. She’ll hear the beep.”

“His office is in his house?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess a business like his doesn’t take much space.”

“He lives in the farmhouse he grew up in.”

“In Madison County?”

“Right.”

It was like pulling teeth. “Iowa? Wisconsin?”

Jarrett looked startled for a moment, as if he was surprised by her continued interest. What did he think their earlier conversation had been to her? she wondered. Idle chitchat?

“Virginia,” he answered impatiently, but she could hear the honest confusion underneath.

So Jarrett had grown up not all that far from her mountain. “Does your family still live there?”

His face shut down again. There was no light in his eyes and his mouth was a grim line. “No.”

That one word made it clear that her probing had come to another abrupt end.

“Do you want to wait up here? I could go fix us something to eat.” She pushed her chair back and stood. “Besides, I should check on the pup.”

Jarrett looked at her for a long moment. He was grateful she’d let the subject of his childhood drop so easily. He also knew what had motivated her casual offer to feed the wolf and them. Escape. Despite the unusual turns of their conversation and her earlier declaration about getting him into a bed, he had no doubt that she needed a little space. A little time. They didn’t have much of that precious commodity, but he wasn’t going to force it.

“It’ll probably be a while,” he said, lifting his cane. “I’ll grab a quick shower while you’re in the kitchen.”

“Great.” Concern colored her expression. “Be careful, though. You probably shouldn’t get those stitches wet.” That said, she didn’t waste any time heading for the door, and Jarrett found himself stifling another smile.

Their time would come, he thought. Come hell or high water.

She turned in the doorway. “Do you, uh, need any help?

No
, he thought,
I know exactly how to do what I want to do.
“I can manage. You check the pup. I think I hear him howling again.”

Relief outweighed the concern in her eyes. “Yell if
the stitches tore or anything. Otherwise, I’ll call you when the food’s ready.” She turned and hurried down the stairs.

Jarrett didn’t know whether to smile or groan. She made him want to do both on a fairly regular basis.

As he slowly descended the steep flight he realized he didn’t mind it at all.

Less than thirty minutes later Rae approached the door to his—her—
their?
—bedroom. She shook that image from her mind. The door was open and there was no sound of the shower from the adjoining bathroom. She tapped on the frame.