Surrender to Me (4 page)

“No, I only sing when I think no one could hear me.”

Jackson leans in close and puts his hand on my lower back.  “That’s a real shame.”  I step to the side, feeling uncomfortable with how close he’s gotten.

The music starts back up and Luke is moving and jumping all over the stage.  It’s amazing to watch him perform because I can see that he’s putting everything he has into it.  I can tell, though, that it’s bothering Luke every time he sees Jackson talking to me or leaning close to me; he seems to get a sort of fire in his eyes.  Jackson’s nice for the most part, although there are a couple times where I have to remove his hand from my leg, back, or arm.  Some people are just really friendly; maybe he’s one of those.  Luke had told me which song would be his last so I would know when to go looking for him.

Once the song is over, I start to make my way backstage again. Jackson grabs my arm, though, and I turn around to face him.  “It was really nice talking to you, Rebecca.  If Lucas screws it up, let me know.”  He gives me a hug and I’m instantly uncomfortable.  I have a feeling that Jackson is one of those guys who doesn’t like to be told he can’t have something.

Lucas

I can see Jackson and Becca from where I’m standing and when he hugs her I want to go over there and rip his arms off.  The bastard sees me and actually fucking winks at me.  I want to go get her but the center is still pretty full and I know it would only cause pandemonium.  Becca pulls away from him and when she turns and sees me she smiles.  Her smile seems to almost instantly calm my rage.  It doesn’t matter if Jackson wants her, there is no way in hell I’m going to let him have her.

She walks up to me and gives me a hug.  “The show was really good, Luke!”

Jackson’s still watching us so I decide to show him exactly what’s going on with us.  I bend my head down and give her a kiss, and I have to say, she’s one of the best kissers I’ve ever had.  She has a sweet innocence about her but when she gets into it she lets out little sighs and moans.  I’ve never gotten hard just from kissing someone, but with her I do.  Her lips are so soft; it’s like having silk pressed against my mouth.  When I pull back she smiles at me and I look back at Jackson; he looks so pissed I can’t help but chuckle.

When Becca looks back she puts two and two together.  She looks up at me and I can see that she’s hurt, pissed, or maybe a little bit of both.  She breaks free of my hold and starts to walk toward the exit. 
Shit, I fucked up.

I run up next to her and pull her into my dressing room as we’re passing it.  Thank God it’s empty. “Becca, wait…please.”

“What do you need, Luke?  I don’t know what you want, but I refuse to be a pawn in your game.”  She reaches for the doorknob but I stop her.

“Listen, Becca, I know I was an asshole and I’m sorry.  You aren’t a pawn and I’m not playing a game.  I guess I just wanted Jackson to know that you’re off limits; he and I do
not
have a good relationship.  I don’t want him to think that you’re available.”

She looks up at me and seems confused.  “You know, he asked me if we were involved and I really didn’t know what to say.  I told him that we were hanging out and I deflected any advances he made.  The thing is, though, that I
don’t
know where we stand.  I mean, we went out to dinner tonight and I had a great time, but like I said before, how far can it really go?”

I knew that asshole was going to try and make a move on her as soon as I saw him next to her.  She was right, though; would we be able to make anything work?  “I know that if we choose to try this thing out it won’t be easy, Becca.  I’m willing to try, though, because there’s just something about you that I can’t stay away from.  I want to be able to call you mine and have assholes like Jackson know it.  I want you at all my shows, and I want to be able to look forward to going home with you afterward.  What do you think?  Do you want to give it a try?”

I can see her processing everything I just said, and I was holding my breath waiting for her answer.  “Yes.”  She opens her mouth to say more but I don’t give her the chance.  I crush my mouth to hers and press her against the door.  Her fingers dig into my hips and I know she is just as into this as I am.

“Stay with me tonight?”

“I still don’t think that’s a good idea, Luke.”

“Why not?”  I hope she doesn’t think this is just a one-night stand. I mean, I asked her to be with me but that doesn’t mean I want her in my bed any less, either.

Moving away from me she goes to sit on the couch.  She looks nervous and I have no idea why.  I go over and sit next to her but don’t touch her.  “I’m not like the girls that you’re used to.”

“I know that, Becca, I knew it yesterday.  That’s one of the things that makes me want to have something more with you, I can tell you’re different.”  She didn’t throw herself at me like most girls do, and she also doesn’t kiss my ass.

“That’s not what I mean.  I just need you to understand that…I know you have a lot of experience.  I’m not one of those girls, Luke.  As much as I’m attracted to you I’m not going to sleep with you right away, either.  If I stay with you tonight I know that you’re going to have expectations and I’m not ready to meet them.”

I expected the fact that she was turning me down to make me mad or at least disappoint me, because I know a lot of girls like to play hard to get.  I’m surprised that the reason she’s saying no is because she doesn’t want to just be another number.   The truth is that it only makes me want and like her more.  I like the fact that she isn’t easy and it gives me peace of mind that there haven’t been a lot of other guys before me.  She’s looking at me and it’s then that I realize I haven’t responded to her yet.  “I would never pressure you into something you aren’t ready for, Becca.  I respect the fact that you don’t want to be ‘just another girl’, and if it eases your mind at all, I don’t see you like that.  I would still like to hang out with you tonight, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, I understand.”

When she looks at me I can see uncertainty in her eyes, but I’m silently praying she’ll say yes.  “Okay, but I’ll need to stop by the house and grab some clothes.”

“No problem, I need to shower anyway.  Do you want to call your sister while I’m getting ready?”

She nods her head and pulls out her phone.  I bend down to give her a kiss and smile at the fact that now she’s mine.

Rebecca

Why the hell did I say yes?
  There is
no
way
that he’s going to be okay with just kissing, and there is
absolutely
no way
I’m ready to do anything else with him.  I’m such an idiot, but when he’s so close to me it’s like my head gets all cloudy.  I can barely form a coherent thought much less actually make important decisions.  I need to call Jen either way because I’ve already stupidly agreed to this.

“Hey girl! How’s the night with the rock star going?”

“Ugh, you have no idea.  Listen, I need a favor.  I told Luke that I would stay with him tonight but I need clothes and he thinks I live at your house.  Can I borrow a change of clothes for the night?”

“You’re staying with him tonight?!  Holy Lord, you’re gonna lose it to Lucas Masterson!”

“Jen, shut the hell up.  I am
not
losing anything tonight and I made that perfectly clear to him.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say.  I’m actually on my way out but I’ll pack you a bag and leave it by the door, okay?”

“Thanks so much, Jen, you’re a lifesaver”

“You’re very welcome, hoe bag, but don’t think you’re getting out of telling me all the nitty gritty details.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”  Just then the bathroom door opens and Lucas steps out dressed in a fresh t-shirt and jeans.  His hair is still wet and I want to lick the droplets of water running down his neck. 
What the hell?  Where did that come from?
  See, this is exactly why this boy is not good for me—one day with him and I start sounding like a sex-crazed maniac. “Thanks Jen, I’ll talk to you later.”  I hang up before I hear her response and try to avert my gaze from Luke until I can gain control of myself.

“Did your sister say yes?”

Sister? Oh right, Jen
.  I feel horrible about keeping up with this lie right now but I really don’t want to tell him it’s not true.  He’ll probably be pissed that I lied in the first place and he might even want to meet my mom.  That would be a horrible thing considering she’s a shell of a person who only knows how to drink, do drugs, and push buttons on the TV remote.  Besides, I’m only lying about my last name, it’s not really
that
important, right?  “Yeah, she said she’s going to leave a bag by the door for me.”

He smiles at me and I get goose bumps all over again.  How the hell am I going to have a relationship with him if I can’t even look at him?  “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Before he opens the door he grabs a baseball hat and puts it on my head.  I look up at him as if to ask him what he’s doing.  “While your hair looks very nice tonight, there’s a good chance there will be paparazzi outside.  I figure you aren’t ready to make your debut, yet.”  When we walk out to the car, the parking lot is mostly empty, except for about four or five photographers waiting around.  Once they see us they run over and the flashes start going off.  I squeeze Luke’s hand tighter and he tells me to just keep my head down and he will lead me to the car.

They’re shouting questions at us; some are inappropriate while others are completely normal.  I know they want me to look up so they can get a shot of my face but that isn’t going to happen.  I guess if I do commit to this life with Luke it’s something I’m going to have to get used to.  Once we get to the car, I jump in quickly and continue to keep my head down, waiting anxiously for when we are finally away from them.  Luke dives into the car and starts driving as soon as he can get the car in gear.  Once we’re away from the stadium and he realizes there isn’t anyone following us he relaxes a little bit.

I still have the hat on; unsure of whether I should even bother taking it off.  Before I can ask, Luke reaches over and takes it off for me.  We’re at a stoplight and I look over at him.  “So, how are you after that?”

I can see the apprehension in his face and hear it in his voice.  It’s almost as if he’s expecting me to say I can’t deal with it and that I’m done. If I was smart that’s probably what I
would’ve
said, but I’m not and it isn’t.  “I’m not going to lie to you and say that I liked it.  I’m dealing with it, though, and I imagine it probably gets easier.”

“Um…not really.  I still haven’t gotten used to it; I’m a very private person, which is not consistent with what I chose to do with my life.  The thing is, I love what I do.  Music is something that’s been inside my soul since I can remember, and this unfortunately comes along with it.  There are a lot of things in my life that go on that I can’t stand, but the one thing that always makes it worth it is the music and the fans.  I’ve had so many people in the business try to use me and take advantage of me, which is why I can be apprehensive at times.  I’ve been burned a lot and I’m
very
aware of not going down
that
road again.”

We pull up in front of Jen’s house and I turn to him.  “So then why were you so quick to trust me?”

“I told you earlier that there is just something about you, Becca.  It’s like I’m pulled to you, and I could tell from the beginning that you didn’t care at all about who I am or what I can do for you.”

I smile because what he just said couldn’t be more true.  I walk up to the house, open the door, and see Jen’s cheetah print duffel bag sitting there. 
Thank God for her.
  I pick up the bag, thinking it’s a little heavy for an overnight bag, but Jen always believes that a girl needs choices.

When I get back to Luke’s car he smiles at me.  “How much do you need for overnight?”

I laugh.  “My sister is much more high maintenance than me; these are probably just the necessities for her.”

When we get to the Four Seasons, Luke has to swipe his room card just to be able to get to the floor where his suite is.  That’s how you know someone has money—when the normal people aren’t even allowed access to the floor.  He’s in the Liberty Suite and when we walk in my mouth drops to the floor.  It’s like a house!  There’s a black leather couch and two matching chairs set up like living room, a dining room with a full sized table with four chairs and a little desk area that could be like an office.  I’ve never been in any hotel room like this.  Right away, I become extremely aware of Luke’s presence behind me.  My whole body breaks out in goose bumps again from the feel of his breath on my neck.  He leans down to whisper in my ear, “You know, eventually you’ll have to walk all the way in.”

Shit, I’m still standing here gawking like some dumb idiot!
  I walk forward but find myself almost tip-toeing, not wanting to mess up the pristine carpet.  Luke walks in front of me and disappears around a corner.  I follow him, wondering what the heck the rest of the place looks like.  When I turn the corner, I find myself in the bedroom and see that Luke is sitting on the bed taking off his boots.  The bedroom is pretty simple, except it has probably the biggest bed I’ve ever seen.  You could probably fit an entire four-person family in it and
still
be comfortable.

I see that he put my bag down on the end table and walk over to it.  “I’m going to get changed.”

He looks up at me. “Okay, the bathroom’s right there.”

When I walk into the bathroom I see it’s just as gorgeous as the rest of the room.  Everything is marble with a huge tub, big glass shower and big counter with two sinks.  I can’t imagine living like this every day; doesn’t it get overwhelming?  I put my bag down on the counter, unzip it and immediately want to scream.  I start looking through the bag praying that these aren’t the only pajamas that Jen packed for me. 
I’m going to strangle her.

The bag is filled with more than enough clothes for a week, and all of the pajamas are Jen’s silk nighties—no shirts or shorts—just nighties that will make me look like I really
do
want to sleep with him tonight.  I pull out my phone to text her.

Me: What the hell is up with all the clothes, and where are all the pajamas?

Jen: You said he was in town for a week, girl, so that’s how long I packed you for. All of the pajamas that you’ll need are in there.

Me: He never asked me to stay for the whole week! And these are not pajamas,
they’re nighties that could almost pass for lingerie!

Jen:
I know he hasn’t asked you to stay for the whole week, yet. Once he sees you in your “pajamas” though I bet he will! I’m on a date now and even though he isn’t as scrumptious as yours I need to get back to him. I would say be good, but I really don’t want you to be! Love you hoe! Hopefully I won’t see you for a week!

Kill.  Me.  Now.