Survival of the Ginnest (18 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
January 8, 2012 at
7:19
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is hyperventilating - kettle
appears to be broken.
January 8, 2012 at
8:05
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is off to decide which school is
unfortunate *cough* lucky enough to get The Monster in September.
Sadly none of them have boarding facilities yet.
January 9, 2012 at
10:30
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
can't believe she's having a
"mARsk" vs "mASk" argument with a 3 year old. Again. North/South
Divide already, REALLY?
January 9, 2012 at
17:08
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks today is going to be
sponsored by Benefit Playstick foundation and coffee. Poor Chubs
and her cough (and poor Mummy and her lack of
sleep!)
January 10, 2012 at
6:57
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking that “Gooood night sun,
hello moon!” is the Best.Song.Ever.
January 10, 2012 at
18:01
15 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has a busy day, but first must
remove some Brio carriages from her shoes.
January 11, 2012 at
8:45
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has gin.
11, 2012 at 19:03
11 people like
this
Harris
is meant to be working but instead
is crying at
One Born Every
Minute
.
January
12, 2012 at 14:34
6 people like
this
Harris
is still in bed. Sadly she's being
body slammed by two fat children.
January
14, 2012 at 9:08
3 people like
this
Harris
and the gang are off to buy a
goldfish.
January
14, 2012 at 11:26
6 people like
this
Harris
never realised that goldfish
shopping would be so exhausting. Needing the exact shade of yellow
was particularly trying.
January
14, 2012 at 15:43
9 people like
this
Harris
is relieved that Barry the fish is
still alive.
January
15, 2012 at 9:12
13 people like
this
Harris
is pleased to be having gin instead
of that soft drink malarky tonight.
January
16, 2012 at 19:28
3 people like
this
Harris
thinks that
today is all about clearing out the room of doom. Baby
section of eBay here I come!
January 17, 2012 at
9:08
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just been told that she is to
go to the hall for giving The Monster cheese on toast instead of
cake. Can I take a gin with me?
January 17, 2012 at
16:39
13 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is looking forward to a time when
nobody poos (then claps) at the dinner table.
January 17, 2012 at
17:01
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just been punished for another
rookie error: Letting The Chubster climb into the craft box. That's
right. Play dough and moon sand are currently a little
soggy.
January 18, 2012 at
18:03
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks her son would like to thank
the general public for saving his life. If they hadn't been there
to witness the whole "leaving soft play debacle/meltdown/screaming
fit” he may not still be with us.
January 19, 2012 at
18:38
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks tea should be on the NHS for
parents.
January 21, 2012 at
7:01
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is in the process of deciding how
to redecorate the bedroom. Don't tell her husband though, he's
blissfully unaware.
January 21, 2012 at
20:43
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wishes her poorly baby would get
better fast :(
January 24, 2012 at
23:19
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just been told she's wrong and
The Monster is ALWAYS right. This is not how it’s meant to work in
this house!
January 25, 2012 at
16:58
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
and The Chubster are currently not
on speaking terms due to the incredible dinner bowl throwing
incident.
January 26, 2012 at
17:24
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
hasn't just eaten the last of her
daughter’s Christmas chocolate. Nope. Not at all.
January 26, 2012 at
20:08
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
Monster: Mummy I don't want to be
Fireman Sam anymore..
Me: Ok, you don't have to
be.
Monster: YEAH I do! Lottie
said.
Me: You don't have to do
everything Lottie says!
Monster: YEAH I DO! She
told me!
January 27, 2012 at
8:23
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
loves hearing The Chubster
chattering away through the baby monitor. X
January 28, 2012 at
19:33
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
i
s still sulking. JUST because her
birthday is on the same day as Mother's Day, it appears her
presents are all merging together. Not sure this is acceptable
husband behaviour?!
January 29, 2012 at
10:08
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
i
s making prawn vindaloo and
pretending naan bread is low fat.
January 30, 2012 at
20:02
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is too sleepy for a running
commentary. ”Mummy, is this your bed? Mummy, your eyes are closed.
Mummy, you're missing Thomas. Mummy, do you like it when I do that?
Mummy, I can hear singing. Mummy, you have smelly mouth. Mummy, I
need a wee. What's that noise, Mummy? Mummy, it's dark in the hall.
Mummy, I've turned your light on. Mummy, I flushed the chain but I
didn't need to wash my hands". *weeps*
January 31, 2012 at
6:39
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is very proud of her little
Chubster. She FINALLY took some steps at nursery today!
HURRAH!
February 1, 2012 at
17:37
19 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking of quiet things she can
do to entertain the children until bath time, it's a bit chilly to
lock them in the garage.
February 2, 2012 at
16:28
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if ANYTHING will remove the
Sudocrem bottom prints from her landing carpet?
February 3, 2012 at
18:35
13 people like
this
Harris
is watching
Spider-Man
-
AGAIN.
February 4, 2012 at 11:21
4 people like
this
Harris
has seen the snow and thinks it can
go away now please!
February 5, 2012 at 7:27
1 person likes
this
Harris
is super ready for
bed.
February 6, 2012 at 18:28
3 people like
this
Harris
has just watched Weetabix fly
across the room and land on the fish bowl. It's going to be one of
those mornings.
February 7, 2012 at 8:17
6 people like
this
Harris
has just rewound
Waybuloo
to the part
where the Pipplings get right “in your face” three times. It's
official. It totally makes The Chubster cry. Better try one more
time just to be sure.
February 9, 2012 at 18:05
6 people like
this
Harris
-
46 mins
until jimjams, gin, Sherlock, Nails, Nachos and mini Rolos in that
EXACT order.
February 11, 2012 at
18:14
3 people like
this
Harris
thinks mini Rolos are a huge
disappointment.
February 11, 2012 at
20:02
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just removed two HappyLand
characters, a kazoo, a wet baby wipe and two dummies from her Ugg
boot.
February 12, 2012 at
8:37
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to point out that when
sharing a lift with Noel Gallagher, discussing the weather and
using words such "chilly" and "plummeting" does NOTHING for your
street cred.
February 12, 2012 at
23:47
15 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is having to have white wine as
she's so pathetic and weak she can't open the bottle of
red.
February 13, 2012 at
19:08
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is a bit grumpy with her husband
for actually sticking with the whole "no Valentine's gifts"
malarky. DARN IT.
February 14, 2012 at
8:10
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is totally not loving the "I'm well
at home but not anywhere else" stage The Chubster is going
through.
February 14, 2012 at
15:28
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks she really needs to stop
doing her work in the kitchen. It’s not good for her frying
pan.
February 15, 2012 at
14:21
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just picked up the kids from
nursery and was greeted with the phrase “Oh no, are you drunk
again, Mummy?"
February 15, 2012 at
18:34
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking the "think before you
speak" theory needs to kick in. “OK Mummy, you carry the fat one
and Daddy can carry the horror - that's me". Oh.
4 people like
this
Harris
has just completed a 4.57mile run
on Runkeeper. Gin
February 20, 2012 at 19:47
9 people like
this
Harris
thinks toddler diarrhoea in the
bath on a solo bath and bedtime is one of her worst
nightmares.