Survival of the Ginnest (22 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
2, 2012 at 16:23
4 people like
this
Harris
thinks that The Chubster’s landing
meltdown is hindering her Friday night gin
consumption.
October
5, 2012 at 19:38
7 people like
this
Harris
thinks her husband will be owing
her a present for deleting
The
X-Factor
so he could record the F1. You
know, the F1 which is on now while she’s awake and he's asleep.
She’s thinking a car would be nice.
October 7, 2012 at
8:03
12 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just had a VERY productive
couple of hours at the gym.
*ahem*jacuzziandsaunaandgossiping*ahem*
October 7, 2012 at
14:58
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has had a wholesome lunch of beef
Hula Hoops followed by 6 Rich Tea biscuits.
Classy.
October 8, 2012 at
13:41
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks that next parents’ evening
she may be relegated to end of the line when her 10 minute slot
turned into 25 minutes. *ahem*
she just
like to get all the details. Plus she was giving the teacher a
chance to use the word GENIUS. She didn’t.
October 10, 2012 at
21:01
19 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
only woke up at 10am and had a cup
of tea in bed. Just saying.
October 13, 2012 at
11:01
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
had a FAB sneaky night away with
him indoors, but is very happy to be back in her little house with
her beautiful little monkeys (now that they're
asleep).
October 13, 2012 at
19:37
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if the teaching assistant
who would happily take The Monster home would be happy just
collecting him and taking him to school every day instead.
Cold.
October 15, 2012 at
6:58
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if stealing the last Haribo
is grounds for divorcing a greedy husband?
October 16, 2012 at
20:46
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is unsure how she is going to
attempt, let alone maintain, a glam mum image on the school run
today. The only fashion statement may be drowned
rat.
October 17, 2012 at
8:19
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders how two small children can
cause so much brain ache in such a short amount of time. Bar is
open. Pass the gin. *sob*
October 17, 2012 at
19:01
16 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is currently listening to The
Chubster empty the bookcase and The Monster bellowing “SHUT UP
YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE". Ironic.
October 18, 2012 at
19:13
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
was informed by nursery today that
her daughter was so cross about having to leave the “garden centre”
play area for group time that she stuck her head in a bucket of
compost.
October 19, 2012 at
17:56
29 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it's slightly unfair that
her daughter doesn't want Mummy to have a pair of Kensington Ugg
Boots for her second birthday. SELFISH.
October 20, 2012 at
7:38
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
-
The Chubster’s opinion of healthy
banana muffins: Look at them, laugh and crumble them on the
floor.
October 22, 2012 at
8:09
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris is
wishing she'd never taught The
Monster the word "compromise".
October 23, 2012 at
8:15
12 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
can't believe her baby is 2! Happy
Birthday Chubs! xxxx
October 25, 2012 at
7:01
24 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is on the way to Peppa Pig World
wondering if she'll make it through the car journey. Send
gin.
October 26, 2012 at
7:27
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
didn't enjoy having to clear sick
out of the car in the hail just now. Poor Monster
:(
October 27, 2012 at
15:45
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
loves her children with all her
heart, however she really wishes they had mute and pause
buttons.
October 28, 2012 at
8:01
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
can’t believe her son can unlock
the bathroom door with a 10p piece.
October 29, 2012 at
10:08
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris -
Bedtime battle:
Mummy 1 - Chubs
0.
October 30, 2012 at
7:01
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
-
HA - 2-0
October 31, 2012 at
7:15
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to remind all teenage
trick or treaters that a mask (which you don't even put over your
face) and a bike does not make a costume.
October 31, 2012 at
18:57
4 people like
this
Harris
may or may not have ignored the
doorbell so she can eat the leftover Haribo.
October
31, 2012 at 19:34
6 people like
this
Harris
has just seen her daughter take
yesterday’s half eaten mini roll out of the bin and eat
it.
November 2, 2012 at
16:11
9 people like
this
Harris
has finished watching
Ghostwatch
and therefore
has no chance of sleep, especially after The Chubster dropped her
cup out of bed at a critical pipe banging scene.
November 4, 2012 at 22:56
12 people like
this
Harris
is quickly losing the will to
live.
November 5, 2012 at 18:34
6 people like
this
Harris
genuinely doesn't know if she'll
make it through the day now that she's run out of Rich Tea
biscuits.
November 6, 2012 at 11:32
5 people like
this
Harris
has just been asked by a 4 year old
if she's *actually* an adult. She’s assuming the response “Go back
to blinking sleep" doesn't back up her case.
November 6, 2012 at 20:01
6 people like
this
Harris
wants to apologise to the doctor
for being told by a 4 year old that she's "a bit rubbish" because
she didn't produce and apply eczema cream then and there in the
surgery.
November 7, 2012 at 15:28
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is struggling to help her son complete his homework.
JUST WRITE THE LETTER “S”, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO DO!
November 7, 2012 at
17:32
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
will not be attempting the school
run without the pushchair again. Tantrum a go go.
November 9, 2012 at
9:23
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
-
Sleep! LOTS OF
SLEEP!
November 10, 2012 at
7:24
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is still singing the Jolly Phonics
songs to herself even though she's on her own. "The snake is in the
grassss, the snake is in the grasss...."
November 13, 2012 at
10:01
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wasn't embarrassed at all at her
daughter’s refusal to leave nursery. Or the fact she had to sit on
her to put her coat on. Or the fact she was kicked and hit in the
face. Or the fact they had to be escorted to the car
park.
Pass the gin.
17 people like
this
Harris
is glad she bothered to make The
Monster a spotty T-shirt for
Children in
Need
. Especially as his response was “But
I wantttteeedddd sppoootttyyyyyyy trroouussseeerrrssss"
*whimper*
November 15, 2012 at 16:28
6 people like
this
Harris
may have 3 dresses that all look
perfectly lovely, but in true form has nothing to
wear.
November 16, 2012 at 19:03
5 people like
this
Harris
thinks building a pirate ship
straight after painting her nails was a mistake.
November 17, 2012 at 15:21
9 people like
this
Harris
is pooped. One night out and she's
considering bringing the jimjams out before 5pm!
November 18, 2012 at 16:21
3 people like
this
Harris
and The Chubster have just
demolished a pack of Jaffa Cakes. On Chubs insistence, obviously.
*cough*
November 20, 2012 at 11:41
2 people like
this
Harris
is pleased to hear from The Monster
that Daddy has "loads of money for presents this Christmas".
Diamonds it is then!
November 20, 2012 at 19:01
9 people like
this
Harris
thinks it's true love. Husband has
bought her ice cube trays shaped like stars because she was grumpy
we only had square ones. Little things.
November 20, 2012 at
19:28
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
really wishes her daughter would
draw on the furniture she's trying to replace rather then the nice
stuff.
November 22, 2012 at
11:42
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wants to thank Lincolnshire Police
for being so understanding about The Chubster's 999 call
earlier.
November 23, 2012 at
14:25
19 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders how she's going to bribe
The Monster after the 25th December.
November 27, 2012 at
16:26
10 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is feeling really, really
tired
November 28, 2012 at
15:08
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is
drowning in a 4year old’s home
work.
November 29, 2012 at
16:21
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has discovered she is quite a sore
loser when it comes to school raffles.