Survival of the Ginnest (8 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
February 5, 2010 at
18:33
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
just committed an act of child cruelty. She just
offered morning milk in a *cup* - an offence worthy of being locked
up! (Please)
February 6, 2010 at
8:30
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is trying to think of things you can do when it's
cold, wet and grim which would entertain a small child. The
suggestion of a bottle of wine by the open fire in a country pub
went down like a lead balloon.
February 7, 2010 at
10:16
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is hating the woman on the ASOS site wearing skinny
jeans. Stupid, skinny, six-packed cow
February 7, 2010 at
19:37
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is cooking garlic bread.
February 7, 2010 at
19:40
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has been up all night looking after a poorly boy. Day
4 of poorly tummy and high temp and totally off his
food.
February 8, 2010 at
7:20
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has gin, and suddenly feels like all is right in the
world again.
February 9, 2010 at
19:04
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is maybe more excited about needing a new ironing
board than she should be.
February 11, 2010 at
13:53
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
feels a bit bad about how scared of the carwash The
Monster was, but not so bad she won’t try it again.
February 13, 2010 at
13:32
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just had beautiful flowers delivered!
x
February 14, 2010 at
9:24
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
was enjoying being a domestic goddess until she
discovered her son had emptied the contents of her Dustbuster all
over the dayroom.
February 18, 2010 at
8:53
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
hasn’t been asked for ID when buying wine. In fact,
there wasn’t even a fleeting glimpse of wondering on the cashier's
face.
February 19, 2010 at
11:04
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders how her son is still on a high in his cot
while she's ready to fall asleep on the sofa?
February 19, 2010 at
20:07
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is stuck in standstill traffic and not loving
it.
February 22, 2010 at
17:41
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is very proud of her son getting a sticker *and* a
star for TIDYING UP at nursery.
February 22, 2010 at
20:10
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just watched her son be sick on her husband’s
back and is laughing a bit.
February 24, 2010 at
7:02
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased to only be on half a day, her weekend
begins in 5 minutes!
February 24, 2010 at
13:11
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking of selling her son.
February 25, 2010 at
8:42
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has had a restless night.
2 people like
this
Harris
wonders how she had about a million
pounds worth of ironing delivered back to her on Friday yet here
she is, standing at the ironing board with a full basket needing to
be done? (Well, she’s actually sitting on the sofa pretending the
ironing board isn't there)
February 28, 2010 at 14:12
1 person likes
this
Harris
thinks she should put down the
laptop and step away from the PowerPoint
presentation.
March 3, 2010 at
19:51
1 person likes
this
Harris
is considering giving her son a
phone charger and box of matches and telling him to play with them
as she’s sure once they become attainable they would be considered
pointless to him.
March
4, 2010 at 18:07
3 people like
this
Harris
is pleased to announce she's given
in! The magic number of tantrums is 28. Just don't tell The
Monster!
March
7, 2010 at 9:28
10 people like
this
Harris
says thanks for her lovely birthday
messages xxx
March
11, 2010 at 15:50
18 people like
this
Harris
is loving being at home on Fridays
so she can watch the first F1 practice of the
season.
March
12, 2010 at 8:35
2 people like
this
Harris
is thinking The Monster's dinner of
fish shapes, smiley faces and peas looks rather yummy and kinda
hopes he won't want it.
March
13, 2010 at 16:19
5 people like
this
Harris
thinks it's unfair that her son is
mocking her by laughing, dancing and playing whilst *on* the
naughty step. Sod.
March
13, 2010 at 18:38
3 people like
this
Harris
may be a snotty wreck on the sofa
after watching
One Born Every
Minute
.
March
17, 2010 at 22:13
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased that The Monster is able to play in the
garden with less then a million layers on!
March 18, 2010 at
16:38
15 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it's amazing how new bedding ensures a better
night’s sleep!
March 19, 2010 at
7:31
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if there are any under 2’s football leagues?
It's time for The Monster to start paying his way.
March 20, 2010 at
8:33
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking a Wispa in the bath might be the new
Flake.
March 21, 2010 at
18:28
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just realised that she's put The Monster in bed
and was looking forward to a child free evening, yet she's spent an
hour looking at photos of him. Div.
March 21, 2010 at
20:48
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
will *NOT* be making a NinkyNonk out of yogurt pots.
Thanks for the suggestion though, CBeebies.
March 24, 2010 at
18:23
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it is totally unacceptable that it's Sunday
night already.
March 28, 2010 at
17:01
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just spent 40mins putting The Monster back on to
naughty step. Fun times - NOT.
March 31, 2010 at
17:17
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks she might sleep for a week.
April 1, 2010 at
17:26
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to thank her radiator for doing the job
her Washer Dryer seems incapable of doing - you know, drying
clothes.
April 1, 2010 at
17:43
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is trying to sneak some car shopping into her day
without her husband noticing what she's doing!
April 3, 2010 at
8:33
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is packing up the car to send The Monster away for
the night. Ahhh dinner out and a lie in tomorrow.
Perfick!
April 4, 2010 at
11:59
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
needed that lie in - she feels grim and she only had
one glass of wine!
April 5, 2010 at
9:45
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is full of lard. Healthy again as of tomorrow.
Maybe.
April 6, 2010 at
20:09
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased to announce that she’s not just fat
anymore. She’s pregnant! Even better: there is only one baby in her
tummy!
April 14, 2010 at
16:31
18 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is considering not picking up or tidying up after her
husband and son for a week just to see how filthy her house really
gets!
April 18, 2010 at
9:00
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is sure the glowing stage was meant to have started
by now and the curling up into a ball and wanting to die one should
have stopped?
April 18, 2010 at
16:20
16 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has been having lovely cuddles from her son
<3
April 20, 2010 at
17:37
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering when the phrase “Sit there until you can
behave" started to translate to “Scream at me and destroy my
lounge”.
April 21, 2010 at
17:49
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks “Row Row" at 8am is not an enjoyable way to
wake up!!!!
April 23, 2010 at
8:31
1 person likes
this
Harris
is hiding with the laptop and the
credit card.
April
24, 2010 at 9:40
2 people like
this
Harris
thinks that you know you have
issues when your son points to your stomach and shouts
“BALL”.
April
24, 2010 at 16:59
5 people like
this
Harris
is chanting DOMINOs DOMINOs DOMINOs
until her husband just gives in and agrees.
April
27, 2010 at 18:20
2 people like
this
Harris
is trying to get the energy up to
move from the sofa and make the house look less like a bomb has hit
it (if she can stop crying at
Project
Runway
).
April
30, 2010 at 11:16
1 person likes
this
Harris
is thinking it's all gone rather
quiet in the other room. Does she dare go and
investigate?
April
30, 2010 at 14:27
3 people like
this
Harris
has just had her boobs "honked" by
her son. Time for a quick chat with Daddy about what wisdom he
feels the need to pass on!
April
30, 2010 at 17:11
8 people like
this