Survival of the Ginnest (10 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
Harris
has spent the day baking cupcakes
and building JCB diggers. The cakes were somewhat more successful
than the diggers.
August
6, 2010 at 18:21
4 people like
this
Harris
is wishing her very special boy a
Happy 2nd Birthday! Now pass me some bright red
cakes.
August
7, 2010 at 7:11
12 people like
this
Harris
is very pleased The Monster's first
day in the big class at nursery went very well!
August
9, 2010 at 19:02
9 people like
this
Harris
just needs to confirm something
before it's too late: When she goes to collect the new baby from
hospital that's when they take away the horrible first one
right?!
August
13, 2010 at 7:46
11 people like
this
Harris
is wondering how she is expected to
shower/dress etc. in 20 minutes when her husband has only just got
out of the shower after 25 minutes!
August
15, 2010 at 8:17
1 person likes
this
Harris
is thinking stupid cold train
platform. Stupid cold England. Must check what leave is left so
maternity leave can start NOW.
August
16, 2010 at 7:20
1 person likes
this
Harris
hates not being able to bend in the
middle.
August
16, 2010 at 19:49
5 people like
this
Harris
really needs to stop thinking about
buying stuff for the baby and actually start buying it before it's
too late!
August
17, 2010 at 19:28
9 people like
this
Harris
is trying to work it out. If you
have two kids and you’re in the car park, do you put the toddler in
the car first before it runs away or put the baby in the car first
so it doesn’t get stolen? *Freaking out*
August
18, 2010 at 6:28
9 people like
this
Harris
thinks if her husband continues to
come up with stupid baby names she will just name the baby
Tinkerbell Trixy Rapunzel and be done with it.
August
18, 2010 at 18:44
3 people like
this
Harris
is looking forward to maternity
leave and giving the house a GOOD CLEAN. Or at least a wipe down
before lying on the sofa doing nothing!
August
21, 2010 at 7:37
2 people like
this
Harris
is counting down the hours,
minutes, seconds.
August
23, 2010 at 9:12
5 people like
this
Harris
is sitting on the sofa in PJs, with
a cup of tea,
GMTV
and 5 mins quiet before she decides what to do with her first
work and Monster free morning off! Damn not being allowed
gin!
August
25, 2010 at 7:27
6 people like
this
Harris
thinks if any more of those bloody
seeds fly into her house over her cleaned/hoovered floors she's
going to go and vacuum the entire park.
August
25, 2010 at 20:47
3 people like
this
Harris
has had a huge supermarket delivery
today but the only thing that the baby really fancies is
pizza.
August
26, 2010 at 17:38
1 person likes
this
Harris -
it's the weekend jump up it's
time to have some funnnn!!! (Who got the CBeebies reference
there?)
August
27, 2010 at 7:06
9 people like
this
Harris
isn't having fish fingers and chips
with lots of salt and a small glass of wine for dinner. Nope. She's
obviously having lots of green veg and water.
Honest.
September 1, 2010 at 18:50
5 people like
this
Harris
is happy to announce the drugs the
doctor gave her are amazing and she slept like a fat pregnant woman
not an elephant in pain!
September 3, 2010 at 7:43
4 people like
this
Harris
thinks her son should be very
grateful that his daddy is home as the line he's been walking on
all day is very fine.
September 3, 2010 at 17:32
6 people like
this
Harris
is perhaps more proud then she
should be about The Monster saying "loser" with the L on his
forehead, and the
Friends
fist together, flappy arms
action.
September 4, 2010 at 13:02
12 people like
this
Harris
has sent the boys off to
nursery/work, showered, dried her hair, made beds - however the
thought of getting dressed and cleaning all 3 floors seems like too
much hard work. Maybe testing out the freshly made bed is an
option?
September 7, 2010 at 8:05
1 person likes
this
Harris
has spent half the day "nesting"
yet feels that nothing other than more mess has been
created?!
September 7, 2010 at 12:34
3 people like
this
Harris
may or may not have been stuck in
the tupperware cupboard for 40 minutes this
afternoon.
September 7, 2010 at 16:55
11 people like
this
Harris
is thinking: If you were a set of
cot bed sheets, where would you be?
September 8, 2010 at 12:34
3 people like
this
Harris
is officially too fat for the
slides at the soft play. She just got stuck.
September 8, 2010 at
14:42
15 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks her dates are wrong. Surely she can't continue
to be such a fatty for much longer?
September 9, 2010 at
11:03
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is at toddler football with a hot chocolate thinking
this is her Saturday mornings for the next 16 years (unless he
makes the England team before then, is that possible? Not a clue
how these things work!).
September 11, 2010 at
8:52
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is not loving The Monster and his new found freedom
now he can open his bedroom door.
September 12, 2010 at
18:58
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is still not loving it.
September 12, 2010 at
20:03
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking it may be a looooonnnnnggggg
day.
September 13, 2010 at
7:30
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has lost the will to clean :(
September 13, 2010 at
12:08
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is getting fed up of this constant need to wee
malarky.
September 13, 2010 at
18:05
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is totally loving Wonder Woman on
Lorraine!
September 14, 2010 at
8:14
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
doesn't think there is any point her bringing the
plate of cake upstairs to the lounge when the cake is gone by the
top step.
September 14, 2010 at
10:38
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has reached a new all time low. Husband had to help
her remove skinny jeans as she was too fat to bend and get them
over ankles. WHEN WILL IT END?!
September 15, 2010 at
21:16
13 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it's great that she was left to discover on
her own accord that they’d run out of baby wipes.
September 16, 2010 at
8:54
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking she might have to go and sniff the gin
bottle.
September 16, 2010 at
21:20
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is having to hide her McFlurry down the side of her
seat while she sneaks spoons as there is NO WAY she's sharing
it.
September 17, 2010 at
12:15
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is worried she might fall through the ceiling if she
gets any heavier.
September 21, 2010 at
12:44
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is considering just leaving The Monster in his PJs
and Ugg boots all day as that's what he wants to wear and she can't
be bothered to argue.
September 24, 2010 at
9:13
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has finally found something practical about being
this pregnant: She can barely reach the sink to wash up! Hurrah for
fatness!
September 26, 2010 at
8:40
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wants Toad in the Hole and doesn't care how many pubs
she has to go to until she finds it.
September 26, 2010 at
15:21
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has had Toad in the Hole and has cheesecake for
later.
September 26, 2010 at
17:23
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wishes her son would understand that anybody in their
right mind would love to be tucked in to their cosy bed and allowed
to snuggle down and sleep for an hour!
September 27, 2010 at
11:51
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is hoping she'll wake up tomorrow to an immaculate
house, all the ironing done, a quiet sleeping newborn baby in the
crib and a flat stomach.
September 27, 2010 at
18:14
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if using the phrase “Granddad will cry" to
discipline her son is the wrong thing to do.
September 29, 2010 at
17:09
13 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
had to put her son’s vest on him this morning at the
same time as his shirt. Not an easy job but at least it stopped the
battle before nursery!
September 30, 2010 at
7:49
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is unsure why The Monster thinks walking backwards
towards something he’s been told not to touch makes it all
ok?
October 1, 2010 at
11:24
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has 26 days left until her due date, and is
encouraging her fat daughter not to be like her father and leave
everything to the last minute. WE ARE READY FOR YOU NOW,
Tinkerbell!