Survival of the Ginnest (14 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
March 22, 2011 at
18:05
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is putting out a warning: She's a wee bit grumpy
today. BUT NOBODY MENTION WEE.
March 23, 2011 at
8:43
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased that tonight’s holiday packing is
sponsored by gin and chips.
March 23, 2011 at
20:13
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just been to the bakery, and wonders if she could
have her self-respect returned, please?
March 24, 2011 at
13:43
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wants to thank Ryanair for their superb suggestion
that the 2 year old sits about five seats away from each of his
parents "so they can redistribute the weight of the plane".
Practical.
April 2, 2011 at
15:34
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
may be carrying a little holiday weight.
April 2, 2011 at
20:26
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is still recovering from the poo which landed on her
foot earlier. Slippers are now in the bin, new ones on
order.
April 3, 2011 at
17:03
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is having something healthy for dinner when she
really wants Yorkshire pudding. Stupid bread and oil obsession on
holiday.
April 3, 2011 at
18:07
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased that when she went to the supermarket she
wrapped the bag of frozen peas around the bottle of
Rosé,
giving it a head start on chilling.
April 4, 2011 at
21:21
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
must remember that she loves her children - even if
she has been awake for an hour and a half.
April 5, 2011 at
5:48
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it's a poor show that for the second night in
a row the bar is going to open late.
April 5, 2011 at
19:17
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
has opened the bar a whole hour and 10mins late. Bad
times.
April 5, 2011 at
20:10
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- Day 4 of the bar being opened late. Bad
times.
April 6, 2011 at
19:18
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders what excuse she can come up with to justify
that necklace she’s just ordered online. She’s sure it's the cat’s
birthday soon.
April 7, 2011 at
19:09
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is questioning her decision to have
children.
April 9, 2011 at
5:49
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is the next celebrity chef, she just KNOWS
it.
April 10, 2011 at
19:12
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
Pox x 1 + Teething x 1 = super tired Mummy
April 12, 2011 at
5:41
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- To those of you who know me well, what's your
initial response when you hear I will be doing racing driving
experiences including a fast car, a rally, and reverse steer blind
fold driving? To those who don’t, I can’t even reverse into a
space. EXACTLY.
April 12, 2011 at
10:43
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
can confirm that no amount of make up can make a
puffy, pus-filled eye look good!
April 13, 2011 at
7:25
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks her legs might be falling off, (Not
over-exaggerating AT ALL).
April 15, 2011 at
20:23
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to know who it was that dropped the bomb
on her house.
April 17, 2011 at
17:37
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking that it's only right to open the bar with
a glass of red since she bought new wine glasses on the way
home.
April 19, 2011 at
18:51
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wonders if The Chubster will ever be
full?!
April 20, 2011 at
18:03
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has gin, then Pimms, then wine, then curry, then
chocolate, then wine, then gin, then bed.
April 21, 2011 at
19:04
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is going to shoot the people who created the Lelli
Kelly shoes advert.
April 22, 2011 at
6:10
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering how many bottles of Nivea Firming Lotion
it will take to firm her stomach up. She's also wondering if
perhaps her "healthy" appetite is slowing down the
process.
April 22, 2011 at
19:05
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
wants to go back to sleep, however at 05:45 when she
suggested to The Monster they cuddle in his bed his response was
"No Mummy, it’s morning time. It's time to get up!" Oh.
April 24, 2011 at
6:25
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wishing her little Chubster a happy half a year
birthday, even if she's probably celebrating it with the pox
x
April 25, 2011 at
8:44
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has decided that chocolate for dinner is the way
forward.
April 25, 2011 at
19:40
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- today was sponsored by expensive foundation, Diet
Coke and Tic tacs.
April 27, 2011 at
19:09
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is super excited about "the" dress!
April 29, 2011 at
7:04
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just told a sales call off for bothering her
while she's watching The Royal Wedding.
April 29, 2011 at
10:53
5 people like
this
Harris
is fed up of using the phrase “Stop
making your sister hit herself”.
May 1,
2011 at 7:03
5 people like
this
Harris
is very happy to announce that the
bar opened 4 minutes early. Good times.
May 7,
2011 at 18:59
3 people like
this
Harris
so hasn't just finished The
Monster’s Peppa Pig Easter egg in a pre-serious training and diet
binge.
May 8,
2011 at 20:22
2 people like
this
Harris
wonders why The Monster turns all
Oliver Twist when reading
Bear
Hunt
: ”It's a bbeewwtiful day,
governor!"
May 9,
2011 at 18:53
1 person likes
this
Harris
may have got home from work half an
hour ago but has already had 2 glasses of wine and a G&T.
Average times.
May 12,
2011 at 20:25
6 people like
this
Harris
has just splurged in Paperchase and
it felt GOOD.
May 13,
2011 at 14:07
5 people like
this
Harris
has just had the full impact of a
Weetabix sneeze.
May 14,
2011 at 6:44
16 people like
this
Harris
is not appreciating the 'tude of a
certain 2 year old.
May 14,
2011 at 17:12
1 person likes
this
Harris
thinks the plan for "no wine on a
school night" was a stupid idea.
May 16,
2011 at 19:35
4 people like
this
Harris
is very impressed - she STILL
hasn't broken into her emergency KitKat Chunky!
May 18,
2011 at 19:03
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking that when she said she wanted to paint
the hall "biscuit" she didn't mean using actual biscuits. Thanks
kids.
May 19, 2011 at
18:12
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
doesn’t want to have another discussion (tantrum)
with The Monster about what T-shirt he is wearing today. THE GREEN
ONE IS DIRTY, OK?
May 20, 2011 at
7:40
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- Note to self: Public toilets with a child? Don't go
for the one facing the restaurant when the toddler can open the
bloody door.
May 21, 2011 at
14:02
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is already late for work and has a snotty, blotchy,
tear stained two year old - free to any home.
May 27, 2011 at
7:21
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking The Monster is right on the verge of
being moved into the shed. She’s tempted to threaten it, but knows
that she will suffer the repercussions of his spidahhh phobia. Next
best thing? She moves into the shed.
May 29, 2011 at
16:28
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering when boarding schools take children - 7
months?
May 30, 2011 at
7:08
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to thank the conjunctivitis fairy for
visiting again. No, really. Thanks.
May 31, 2011 at
18:49
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
isn't feeling the "power" today.
June 2, 2011 at
17:29
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
has discovered her life is getting fed back to
nursery via a small, opinionated, TRUTH STRETCHING
child.
June 2, 2011 at
20:14
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is perhaps too excited about using her new kitchen
knives (on food, not her children).
June 4, 2011 at
15:15
11 people like
this
Harris
has opened the bar 10 minutes
early. Perfect chance to do a couple of reviews of the new wine
delivery!
June 4,
2011 at 18:50
4 people like
this
Harris
wishes that The Monster wouldn't
insist that all of his toys "GO IN DA 'ALL COZ THEY BIN NORTY”. She
would also rather not hear him them them to "STAY THERE FOR 3
MINITS TIL U CAN SAY SORRY" before slamming the door on them.
Somehow, this may be an indication as to what the weekend has been
like.
June 5,
2011 at 19:30
18 people like
this