Survival of the Ginnest (9 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
Harris
is counting down the minutes to The
Monster's bedtime so she can have a bath and maybe wake up a
bit!
May 2,
2010 at 17:31
1 person likes
this
Harris
would like to thank ASOS for their
generous maternity sizes. Now she’s fat on her holiday without the
complex!
May 4,
2010 at 18:07
4 people like
this
Harris
is relieved that the lady at check
in didn’t charge her excess baggage for her fat
fingers!
May 5,
2010 at 4:33
7 people like
this
Harris
is back in dreary old
Britain.
May 22,
2010 at 12:12
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
loves the smell of fresh washing but hates the idea
she might have to iron it. Hmm, to call the ironing lady this week
maybe?
May 23, 2010 at
8:56
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
loved the smell of washing before the washing line
collapsed over freshly mown grass.
May 23, 2010 at
8:58
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is enjoying a very lemonady Ros
é
spritzer-it's just the same as the real thing,
honest!
May 23, 2010 at
16:10
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is achey and grumpy.
May 23, 2010 at
19:22
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is back at work, but has no laptop so is enjoying
drinking apple juice and writing lists.
May 24, 2010 at
7:47
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks Jenni Powell is VERY annoying.
May 25, 2010 at
20:14
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is really wishing the woman opposite her on the train
wasn't eating Burger King and is also wondering if she could steal
it.
May 26, 2010 at
15:37
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is exhausted after working 3 whole days in a
row!
May 26, 2010 at
19:33
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is super proud of The Monster for spending the entire
night in a big boy bed!
May 29, 2010 at
7:13
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it's time to get a loud child to jump on his
father so that they can all finallllly have breakfast!
May 30, 2010 at
7:49
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has the house to herself and is enjoying the chance
to clean, tidy, iron and arrange things on shelves.
May 31, 2010 at
10:17
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is pleased that Simon Cowell just thanked her
personally on the BAFTAs *cough*.
June 6, 2010 at
19:49
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
feels a distinct lack of privacy when from the other
side of a closed door she gets applauded for doing a
"wiwi".
June 10, 2010 at
8:00
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has learnt the hard way not to fall asleep at The
Monster's nap time letting him sleep for longer than allocated.
He's still not asleep yet.
June 10, 2010 at
20:30
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is looking forward to a time when she can go to the
toilet without having to wear a colander on her head.
June 13, 2010 at
10:15
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
appears to have brought the devil child back from
B&Q.
June 13, 2010 at
15:59
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is taking bets on whether it’s a pink or a blue
baby?!
June 15, 2010 at
7:35
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is finally going to have a partner in crime. 80%
chance of it being a girl!
June 15, 2010 at
11:56
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is making a list of girls’ names.
15, 2010 at 13:05
9 people like
this
Harris
supposes she better wake The
Monster up from his nap. Hmph :(
June
16, 2010 at 13:30
2 people like
this
Harris
is watching
She's All That
in bed with a peach
squash. What has she become :(
June
16, 2010 at 21:31
5 people like
this
Harris
is watching Elmo being fed Nutella
on toast. Messy.
June
20, 2010 at 6:56
3 people like
this
Harris
can't believe her son is having a
tantrum because he can't wear HER new shoes.
June
20, 2010 at 9:18
7 people like
this
Harris
hates the A1, hates lorry drivers
with their shirts off who think they can beep at you and shout
smutty things, hates Chrysler drivers and is generally in a vile
hating everyone sort of mood.
June
22, 2010 at 17:59
3 people like
this
Harris
would like to thank Cbeebies for
allowing her to fake tan. Let's hope it doesn’t
streak!
June
25, 2010 at 7:51
6 people like
this
Harris
can't quite believe she just sung
and did the actions to the “Grand Old Duke of York”, “If You're
Happy and You Know It” and “Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes”
whilst in the queue at the supermarket. What little credibility she
had is now firmly out of the window.
June
26, 2010 at 12:56
6 people like
this
Harris
thinks maybe she should start
ironing rather than just buying The Monster new
clothes.
June
27, 2010 at 13:36
1 person likes
this
Harris
thinks she's missing the point of
party sized chocolate bars. She's not just having one small treat,
she's having one of each.
June 29, 2010 at
20:16
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it must nearly be October now, she’s fit to
burst already.
July 4, 2010 at
12:47
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has rebelled. Ironing back in utility room, lemon
drizzle cake in oven, child in bed, milkshake being sipped. Now is
it wrong she’s chosen to watch American trash rather then grown up
programmes?
July 8, 2010 at
12:36
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering how it's a punishment when, on asking
naughty child if they want to go to bed, they respond with
"Yes".
July 9, 2010 at
16:13
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
loves her husband but does not love the fact that
apparently she looks like a satsuma.
July 11, 2010 at
19:01
14 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has put her new orange top in the bin.
July 11, 2010 at
19:39
21 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has had a long day, and now for the first time since
she moved The Monster into a bed is having to do the 5 minute rule
while he sobs. Blergh.
July 12, 2010 at
22:39
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
must not eat two large bars of Daim Milka.
July 13, 2010 at
13:42
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is lying on the sofa moaning about the pains in her
bump and back.
July 13, 2010 at
19:56
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is banning any more toys or stuffed animals from
entering her house. There is honestly not enough room for anything
else. *Dies in heap of half finished toddler’s bedroom.
July 17, 2010 at
17:31
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
wants a baby.
July 20, 2010 at
14:04
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has a mini banana and pecan breakfast loaf while she
waits for the train. She thinks she’s feeling better!
July 21, 2010 at
7:13
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- 100 days. Eep.
July 21, 2010 at
17:06
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is buying shares in Gaviscon.
July 21, 2010 at
21:25
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is teaching her son all about classic
Britney.
July 23, 2010 at
16:18
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has put The Monster to bed in his big boy room and
isn't sure how the night will go.
July 23, 2010 at
19:17
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks the big boy room is a hit. HE IS STILL ASLEEP!
So why has she been awake all night checking if he’s been
breathing?
July 24, 2010 at
8:11
12 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has a Mars ice cream in the freezer but can't decide
when to eat it.
July 25, 2010 at
16:47
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is loving the fact that on checking on The Monster,
he was asleep on his sofa instead of his bed.
July 27, 2010 at
20:17
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering if 12 outfits for 4 days is
excessive?
29, 2010 at 18:40
2 people like
this
Harris
is going to Budapest
baybayyyy!
July
30, 2010 at 6:52
7 people like
this
Harris
is back in the UK, but it's not so
bad because there is a small Monster waiting at home!
X
August
2, 2010 at 13:33
2 people like
this
Harris
and The Monster are chilling whilst
watching
Project Runway
.
August
4, 2010 at 15:07
3 people like
this
Harris
thinks her vile mood is starting to
calm down. She could really do with a bottle of gin or 10
though!
August
4, 2010 at 19:38
1 person likes
this