Take the A-Train (13 page)

Bim saw me looking. ‘My youngest daughter, Antonia,’ he said.

I stopped thinking bad thoughts in case mind reading was one of his many talents and tried to look admiring.

‘A picture, Mister Lupino.’

He looked at me closely to see if I was taking the piss. ‘A good girl,’ he said. ‘But she needs a husband.’

The good girl’s face was like urban blight made flesh. I don’t know why she hadn’t taken advantage of Daddy’s cash and visited a discreet private clinic for some cosmetic surgery. Perhaps the old man thought she was cute. Perhaps a surgeon wouldn’t know where to start.

She drained her glass and cracked the counter with the stem. A barman came at the double carrying a jug full of the same pink mess and topped up her glass. She sneered at him and he blanched and backed away. She looked like she was a right chip off the old block. She pulled a cigarette from the packet on the bar in front of her and waved it about, and two handsome boys appeared, one on each side of her, and fought over who would fire it up. The look she gave them nearly took their ears off.

‘She seems to have plenty of admirers here,’ I remarked.

‘I pay them fuckers to be attentive,’ said Bim.

‘Is your good lady wife here tonight?’ I asked in a friendly manner. Bim pointed with his eyes and I looked over the heads of the revellers to where a pudden in glacé blue was dancing with an adolescent boy a clear two feet taller than she was. He was bending over her like a flamingo catching shrimp and looking about as pink around the earholes.

‘My old woman and my nephew Ben.’

‘They make a handsome couple.’

Now he knew I was taking the rise and his eyes narrowed. I decided to leave family matters well alone. I sipped at my glass and Bim said, ‘Glad as I am to meet you at last, it could have been under better circumstances.’

‘You can say that again!’

‘I believe you’ve even mentioned my name to the police?’

‘They’ve heard it before,’ I said.

He gave me a look that could have frozen blood. ‘Why did you think it necessary to jog their memories?’

‘I think you know.’

He shook his head.

‘I think you do,’ I said.

‘What makes you think that?’

‘Last night, Covent Garden, three men in a green Daimler. Armed men. One was about to shoot me and probably the girl I was with. If it hadn’t been for her, we’d both be dead now.’

‘I still don’t know how that involves me.’

‘She ran one down, I shot another, and we frightened the driver off. Does that jog your memory?’

‘You’re crazy, boy, if you think I had anything to do with that.’

‘But you do know about it?’

He did the continental walk and hummed and hawed with his hands. He knew all right. ‘I know lots of things,’ he said.

‘Everybody tells me that,’ I said.

I finished my drink and tapped for another one without waiting to be asked.

‘So?’ he said when the barmaid had topped up my glass.

‘So it’s going to make Old Bill a bit suspicious. I go in telling them that someone has stitched up Emerald, I mention your name, and the same day someone tries to kill me. It might make them look a little deeper into the job that was done on Emerald.’

‘They can look twice at anything they like as far as I’m concerned. I repeat, I had nothing to do with Watkins’s trouble. If he wishes to deal drugs that is his affair. If he gets caught it’s his own fault. You are looking for a scapegoat and you chose me. I do not appreciate my name being bandied about police stations. I think I may have to teach you a lesson.’

I saw the razor boys tensing for action. Lupino really was behind the times.

‘Leave me alone,’ I said. ‘There’s people here who are expecting me to join them for a drink later, in one piece. They know where I am and who I’m with and if I turn up half dead in some back alley or just disappear they’ll scream “Police” so loud not even you will be able to shut them up. And another thing, if you do decide to teach me a lesson, make it a permanent one, because if I’m alive I’ll grass you up and enjoy every minute of it. If I mentioned your name, so what? If you’re innocent you’ve got nothing to worry about. Someone tried to mark my card last night, in permanent ink. I want it stopped.’

Bimpson’s fists were opening and closing in anger.

‘You brought someone?’ he said calmly, as if he could hardly believe it himself.

‘Someone brought me.’

‘You were told to come alone.’

I tapped my leg with my cane. ‘I’m not driving.’

‘You should have taken a cab.’

‘And be stuck in Bickley without a ride back to town? No chance.’

‘You could have let it wait,’ he said.

‘It always makes me nervous with a cab outside,’ I said. ‘The meter ticking away and all. The expense. I don’t like it. And if you really thought I was going to walk in here all on my lonesome, you must want your head looking at.’

He ignored the insult. ‘So who did drive you?’

‘A friend, and my girlfriend came too, just for the ride.’

‘You brought a skirt with you,’ interrupted Rick.

‘Why? You frightened?’

‘Of a tart? You’re joking.’

‘Your mates learnt the hard way.’

‘No mates of mine, Sunshine. Don’t you fucking listen? Mister Lupino told you.’

‘I don’t always believe what I hear.’

‘You calling my guv’nor a fucking liar?’

Now that was a tough one. I didn’t say yes, I didn’t say no.

Bim interrupted. ‘Where are they?’

‘The Lounge Bar,’ I said.

‘Go and get them,’ said Lupino to Rick and Lonzo.

‘Watch out, they bite,’ I said. ‘Especially the black one.’

‘You brought a fucking spook with you?’ spat Bim.

‘Like I said, he brought me.’

‘One of Watkins’s little firm?’

‘Of course.’

‘Bring them in,’ said Lupino. ‘Go on.’ Rick and Lonzo split, picking up two other gangsters as they went like lint on a dark jacket. The band played
The Twist
, which segued into
Let’s Twist
Again
, followed by
The Peppermint Twist
, and finally
Twistin’ The Night Away
. The girls and boys were letting it all hang out. It occurred to me that Chubby Checker had a lot to answer for. Then they moved on to
The Lambada
.

The band worked through its repertoire and I worked through the Smirnoff bottle, never touching the sides once.

After about fifteen minutes Teddy and Fiona were wheeled in by four Greeks. Teddy looked immaculate in his dark suit and Fiona had discarded her coat and was wearing a sexy little black dress that did nothing much to hide her spectacular figure. Everyone in the room clocked the six of them as they entered. Antonia gave Fiona that especially poisonous look that seemed to run in her family. They all came over to our corner of the bar.

‘We got the coon and the scrubber,’ said Rick proudly.

I made a move towards him but Lupino caught my arm. ‘Rick, apologise,’ he said. ‘You’ve insulted Mr Sharman’s friends.’

Rick looked stunned. ‘Do what?’

‘You heard,’ I said.

‘Come, Rick,’ said Lupino, suddenly sweet as honey.

‘Sorry, Boss,’ said Rick. ‘I don’t know what come over me.’

‘Please accept the apology, all of you,’ said Bim. ‘My boys can be uncouth sometimes.’

‘He calls me a scrubber again and I’ll kick him in his uncouth bollocks,’ said Fiona.

Rick looked stunned again and Lupino showed all his teeth in a long laugh. ‘Well said. Come and join us.’

Teddy walked up the steps and beamed me a shiteating grin. ‘Hey, what’s happening, man? These guys invited us in and I just couldn’t say no.’

‘You coons are all heart.’

‘And us scrubbers,’ said Fiona who had followed him.

‘They just couldn’t bear to see you all dressed up an’ nowhere to go.’

‘Nice folks,’ said Teddy.

‘You OK?’ I asked.

‘Sure. We’ll do.’

His eye caught Antonia who had perked up mightily since he had entered the room. ‘Fuck me, who’s the Pit Bull?’ he asked.

‘Boss’s daughter. Big cheese.’

‘Big fucking doggy you mean.’

‘Check. But it looks like she sure digs you, baby.’

‘I told you, man, I’m magic.’

‘Don’t let the big Bim catch you casting any spells. You know how he feels about the Brothers.’

‘Man, give me some credit. I wouldn’t touch that old slosher with a barge pole. I got class.’

‘And you’ve got something she likes hidden in your trousers.’

‘What, man, my hanky?’

The daughter
was
taking a great interest in Teddy. She spun round on her stool and checked him out. Bim’s face suffused with blood. I saw only trouble.

The band changed tempo and got stuck into
Stand By Me
like dogs at a bitch. ‘Groovy,’ said Teddy. ‘Who’s the group?’

‘James Brown and The Famous Fucking Flames. Live at the Apollo.’

‘Burnin’,’ said Teddy, then raised his voice. ‘Hey, can I get a drink?’

‘Have some of this.’ Antonia got into the action. She lurched off her stool, almost losing her balance as she landed on spiked heels. She advanced up the steps towards us like Godzilla, one hand on the wall to keep her upright and the other holding her half full glass towards Teddy.

‘Antonia,’ hissed Bim.

‘Don’t mind if I do,’ said Teddy, and took the proffered glass and licked the rim where Antonia’s lip print was visible in bright red lip gloss. She looked like she was ready to have an orgasm on the spot.

Not a good idea, Teddy, I thought.

‘You black bastard!’ said Bimpson.

Teddy was too busy gazing over the glass into Antonia’s eyes. She was too busy gazing back.

Then I felt a light bulb go on over my head. Now I knew one reason why Bim hated blacks so much. Antonia, his pure, unsullied, unmarried daughter had hot pants for them. Maybe all his daughters had. Elementary, my dear Sharman.

‘Want to dance?’ she asked.

Just as she spoke
Stand By Me
groaned to a halt and the band took a moment’s break and dived into their glasses. In the dead air before they got going again, I felt all sorts of tensions rising to the surface.

‘Get away from her,’ said Bimpson. His look was as cold as a frog’s backside.

‘And if I don’t?’ asked Teddy.

‘You’re looking at a world of pain.’

‘Hip,’ said Teddy. ‘Hip, I like that. Listen, man, no way, right? Not with mine, not with yours. Too ugly, man.’

My heart sank. I could not believe I was hearing this.

‘But you call me a coon or a black bastard again, and I might take her up on her offer.’

I thought Bimpson Lupino was about to expire of cardiac arrest. So did Rick, who couldn’t bear to hear all these insults aimed at his boss’s offspring and hauled off and dragged a cracker-jack little .22 out of his back pocket and stuck it in the direction of Teddy’s best wool worsted jacket.

I saw the hammer going back so I brought my stick up in a short arc and knocked the barrel away. The sound of the shot was deafening in the confined space, even though it was such a small calibre weapon. It even reached across the room and brought a bossa nova treatment of
A Rainy
Night in Georgia
to an early and cacophonous conclusion.

The bullet chopped slivers of wood and sawdust from the top of the bar fitting and screamed off to lodge somewhere in the ceiling. The bar annexe was full of smoke and stank of used gunpowder and cordite. Powder burns spattered Rick’s hand and shirt cuff. Teddy looked as if he was in the market for fresh laundry and Rick didn’t know whether to be glad he hadn’t committed murder or angry that I had stopped him. I stepped back and made a placating gesture. There were still live rounds in the .22’s cylinder. Bim grabbed the gun and slammed it down on the bar. I flinched. Accidents do happen. I hoped he hadn’t burnt his little mitten on the hot metal. He was in a bad enough mood as it was. Every head in the place turned except Antonia’s, whose eyes were glued to Teddy’s crotch.

‘Later,’ Bim said to Rick. The guy actually flinched as if he had been slapped.

Bim got busy appeasing the management. Guests kept peering over, but discreetly. They knew the score. A little gun play at a function was probably nothing new to them. Bim was handing out cash and exchanging favours at a furious rate. I heard him tell the maître d’ it was just boyish hi-jinks, all down to the advent of the holiday and too much Christmas spirit.

When he’d finished all the glad handing, Bim came back and grabbed my arm and dragged me over to a private corner. ‘That’s twice you’ve got in my face today.’

I just looked at him and said nothing.

‘How many times do I have to tell you that I had nothing to do with getting Watkins put away?’ Just the way he said it got to me. He seemed old and tired and I almost felt sorry for him.

‘All right,’ I said. ‘I heard.’

‘Now get that cheeky fucking spade out of here before I have the black cunt’s hands chopped off.’ Then I didn’t feel sorry for him at all.

I nodded.

‘And tell Watkins I’m sorry for his trouble. I’ll miss butting heads with him. We’ve been doing it for over thirty years.’

‘I’ll do that.’

‘Now scarper, and stay away from me and mine.’

I went, collecting Teddy and Fiona.

When we got outside we found that it had been snowing heavily for a long time. It was nearly two inches deep in the car park and we had to clear the windscreen of the jeep before we could leave.

T
eddy engaged four-wheel drive and the jeep crunched through the snow as sure-footed as a cat. As we headed back to town the snow got thicker. Like I said, he was a good driver, anticipatory and making allowances for the conditions and all the bad drivers the weather had brought out. We saw lots, skating through red traffic lights broadside or spinning their drive wheels uselessly in drifts of snow. He didn’t speed, but he seemed to have the knack of picking the right lanes and knowing when to nip through on the inside without bringing out the worst in the other road users. The jeep ploughed through virgin snow and gripped the road like a leech. Teddy played Charlie Parker on the stereo all the way. Not too soft but not too loud because we needed to talk. Sacrilege, but I’m sure old Charlie would have understood.