Tales From a Broad (37 page)

“Ah.” she cried. “
Si
.”

“Grazie
,” I nodded.

“Lu, nothing is different all of a sudden.
You’re
different, but in a good way. It doesn’t matter what
I think. What matters is what you think, right? How do you feel
when you’re with Cooper, when he’s not cutting you down like a
woodsman?”

Despite the stress I was feeling, I giggled
into the phone. “Sorry, the image of Cooper with an ax makes me
laugh.”

“Well, the man you should marry is the one
who makes you feel complete. Not broken into pieces.” I imagined my
sister smiling into the phone. “You already told me how good you
feel with Simon, but does Cooper give you that same feeling? Who
makes you feel truly happy?”

“Hey, there you are,” a voice exclaimed
behind me.

I turned around and came face to face with
Cooper. “It’s Cooper,” I said into the phone, forcing a smile.

“Well, there you go,” Morgan said dryly. “I
guess that solves that one.”

I heard a trace of bitterness in her
voice.

“No,” I replied hastily. “Cooper’s here.
Right in front of me,” I explained, rolling my eyes at Cooper.
“I’ll call you later.”

“Oh!” Morgan exclaimed. “Okay,” she said
firmly. “Just say your goodbyes like a big girl. Don’t stir the
pot. Act, don’t react. You’ve always had a tendency to—”

“Okay byeeeeee,” I sang. “Sorry,” I said
turning to Cooper. “My sister is a bit slow on the uptake.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Cooper apologized. “My
flight’s been cancelled, so I actually have a car coming for me
now. I need to get to the airport early. I’m standing by for a
different flight. First class, of course.”

“Of course.”

“I needed to get out of there anyway. That
Mark rubs me the wrong way.” He shook his head and pulled me in
close. “Baby, I’m really going to miss you.”

“Well, this isn’t good bye,” I said, putting
my head on his chest. I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the
eyes.

“Right,” he murmured. “What’s another couple
of weeks when we’ll be together forever?” He moved his hands down
to my shoulders and stepped back so he could see me. His hands
caressed the sides of my neck.

I looked him square in the eyes, trying to
formulate a reply.

“The first thing we’re going to do,” Cooper
continued, saving me from a response, “is go to our favorite little
spot on Fifth. That is, after we retire that beloved tank top of
yours.”

I felt like the hands massaging my neck were
starting to close in on my throat. I swallowed nervously. He
dropped his hands to the small of my back, and my skin began to
crawl.

“You know what?” I said slowly pulling back.
“The Peninsula Hotel is hardly a little spot and for the record,” I
said, pausing to swallow again. “I hate that place.” I was
surprised that I actually felt slightly liberated.

Cooper gave me a sideways look. “You do?
Since when?”

I smiled gratefully as the clerk handed me my
purchases, and I walked ahead of Cooper, leading him back to the
street.

“Oh, probably since the first time you took
me there,” I said, nodding my head. “I hate everything about it,
and come to think of it, that’s not all I hate. I hate the way you
tend to make me feel.”

I watched his eyes widen and felt a thrill. A
surge of confidence slowly replaced my anxiety.

“The way
I
make you feel?” Cooper
said, incredulous. “I treat you like a princess.”

“Yes, you do. Princess Perfect.” I frowned.
“Cooper, I’m not perfect, and I’m okay with that. I love my tank
top. And you know what I wear to bed these days? A college t-shirt
from 1992. I love it in its entirety. Stretched out and ripped
up.”

Cooper’s mouth hung open, and the more of a
rise I got out of him, the more satisfaction I felt.

“I don’t like to wear the matching bra and
underwear sets you bought from
La Perla
,” I said
dramatically, for effect. “Silk from the south of France,” I
scoffed. “Who gives a rat’s ass? Cotton rocks, and the last thing I
need to worry about is making sets.”

Cooper continued to stare at me,
dumbfounded.

“You know what else I hate?”

He shook his head slowly as if he were afraid
to answer.

“Sharing sorbets. I want my own goddamn
dessert. A big, fat real one,” I cried, holding my hands out. “Each
time you make me share a half a cup of raspberry whatever the hell
it is, I go home and eat my own pint. Not of sorbet,” I said with a
finger in the air. “Ben and Jerry’s. Full fat,” I whispered with
malice.

Cooper took a step back as if he feared me.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

“The things you were offering were the things
I thought I should want. Whenever I did speak up, you acted like I
was foolish, so I began to think I was. I hid my own opinions and
denied my feelings. That was
my
mistake,” I said sadly. “And
now, for the first time in a very long while, I finally know who I
am and what I want.”

“Where’s this coming from, all of a
sudden?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “My feelings
must’ve gotten smothered in all the fancy clothes you gave me. This
is for the months of heartache you put me through.”

“If you weren’t ready to forgive me, why
didn’t you just say so?”

“Good question!” I practically shouted into
the air. A couple walked by and gave me a strange look.

“Shhh.” Cooper silenced me with his hand.

“Oh, whatever. Who cares what strangers
think?”

I swallowed the lump that had risen in my
throat. “We’re so different, Cooper. I was going to take you back,”
I cried in disbelief, clasping my hands together in a tight fist.
“Now, I’ve just realized that would be the biggest mistake I could
ever make. You dumped me on the West Side Highway. The West Side
fucking
Highway. All because I have rotten eggs,” I
spat.

“But worse, Cooper, as humiliating as that
is, I have realized,” I continued, my voice getting softer as my
anger shifted to sadness, “that we were never meant to be at
all.”

“I thought we’d been having fun. Just last
night we talked about moving in together.” The vein from before was
back, and it was bulgier than ever.

“You
talked about moving in together,”
I reminded him. “I’m sorry,” I said with a hand on my chest. “I was
really trying to fall back in love with you again.”

Cooper’s face registered hurt and then
quickly recovered to a more neutral expression. “Well, I’m sorry to
hear that,” he said matter-of-factly. “It sounds like you’ve made
up your mind, and truthfully, I don’t even know who you are
anymore.”

“Well, this is the real me,” I said.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes,
realizing that this time, we were finished for good. I felt awful
that he had to fly halfway across the world for me to realize this,
but it was exhilarating to know I’d been pining away for something
I no longer wanted.

“And that’s the real you,” I said, pointing a
finger to his chest. “And you’re just not the right man for me.
Let’s be honest. I’m probably not the right woman for you either.
We want different things out of life, and both of us deserve
someone who will allow us to remain true to ourselves. We can try
to change for one another, but neither of us will be happy in the
end. We are who we are.” I drew in a shaky breath and slowly
exhaled, surprised by how good the truth sounded. For once, the
three amigos and I were on the same page. My stomach felt better,
and while my heart may have been racing, it felt lifted, and my
head felt a thousand pounds lighter.

Cooper paused and released a long sigh. “I
guess,” he said reluctantly. “I really don’t know what to say.”

“I’d say you probably don’t like this version
of me, huh?” I said with a grimace in attempt to lighten the
mood.

“Eh,” Cooper sniffed ruefully. “Not so much,”
he said with a tight smile. “Honestly, Luce, I just want for you to
be happy. That’s what you really deserve.”

We stared at each other for a long minute
until he finally looked away. “I better go...” He trailed off,
glancing down at his phone.

I sniffed and wiped away the tears that had
fallen onto my cheek. Without another word, Cooper turned on his
heel and walked off.

“Bravo! Bravo!” cried a tinny female voice
from far away. I looked around, but all I saw was a defeated Cooper
walking onto the street.

“Lucy? Lu?” It sounded as if my sister was
stuffed into my purse, and I realized I hadn’t hung up the
phone.

“Oh my God!” I cried, snatching it out of my
bag.

“Did you hear—”

“Every word!” Morgan shouted. I held the
receiver away from my ear. “I couldn’t be more proud of you, but
how do you feel?”

“Sad, but liberated,” I smiled with
relief.

“Good. Now, hang up with me, for real this
time, and go talk to Simon,” she ordered. “Unless you want to keep
me on hold? I was about to do laundry but would much rather listen
to you.”

“Good bye, Morgan,” I sang and firmly hit the
button to end the call.

Chapter
Seventeen

Life’s too short for sorbet. There are
better scoops in the case, so skip the sorbet and go right to the
gelato. And while you’re at it, make it a double.

Facebook Status June 14 at 9:30pm

To: Tess (mobile)

From: Lucy

10:00pm

Hi Tess—Are you hanging with the guys?

From: Tess (mobile)

To: Lucy

10:01pm

Just Mark. Landon went to bed early. Did
Cooper find you?

To: Tess (mobile)

From: Lucy

10:02pm

Oh, he found me alright. I’ll fill you in
later. Have you seen Simon?

From: Tess (mobile)

To: Lucy

10:05pm

Simon’s gone. :( He went to Rome to meet up
with Mark’s friend Chaz. Remember that clown from London? Anyway,
he’s heading back to Chicago on Sunday. He didn’t say bye?

* * * *

Simon was gone? I’d been so busy rehearsing
what to say and trying to make myself perfect before I saw Simon,
that I’d missed him.

Maybe if I ran to the window I could still
catch him? I was halfway to the bathroom door when I realized how
ridiculous that was. This wasn’t a Julia Roberts movie. I wasn’t
going to be able to dramatically throw open my window and see my
prince standing on the sidewalk. I sunk down on the toilet in
despair, hit the redial button on my phone, and waited for Morgan
to pick up.

“Hello, Love Doctor, may I help you?”

“No,” I replied sadly into the phone. “No one
can. I blew it, Morgan. Simon already left.”

Morgan gasped. “Left? What do you mean? Where
is he?”

“Rome,” I whimpered into the phone.

“Oh, Lu....”

“I’ve come full circle. I came here alone and
am leaving alone. Might I add, feeling way worse than when I
started this journey
.
”

I looked around the pensione bathroom, at the
bare fixtures and plain white towel on the rack. What was I doing
here? At that moment, all I wanted was to be back home curled on my
familiar couch under my favorite afghan.

My voice dropped as I pleaded with Morgan.
“Would you mind if I ceased my chaperone duties and just came home?
I know we’re only at the halfway point, but Landon was supposed to
meet up with us again next week, and Tess is in great hands with
Mark. Please? She’s a good girl, Morgan. They’re going to do
whatever they’re going to do, whether I’m here or not. I just ... I
just want to be home now.” I fought back tears and waited for
Morgan’s response.

“I know,” Morgan sighed. “I’d rather not
think about what Tess is going to do or not do. Lu, I had such high
hopes for you on this trip. I’m sorry. Come home. If that’s what
you need now, it’s fine with me.”

“You
had high hopes?” I laughed
bitterly, thinking of all my dreams of finding myself when we
started this trip. “I feel like I’m right back to where I started:
heartbroken, confused and alone.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Morgan said
in gentle tone. “Remember, I heard what you said to Cooper. It
seems to me you learned quite a bit about the person you are when
you got out from under his thumb.”

“True, and I’ve regained an interest in
writing,” I added. “So what if I’m going to die alone? I’m just
going to lock myself in my apartment and write.”

“Listen Lucy, regarding Cooper, you did the
right thing kicking him to the curb. I’m sorry, but Simon was
right. The guy’s a narcissistic a-hole.”

“Tell me how you really feel,” I said
dryly.

“Okay,” Morgan continued. “He had some hell
of a nerve showing up expecting you to—”

“I was kidding
.
I don’t need to take
any more abuse about Cooper. I was blind and in denial. Plain and
simple. Now I’ve lost Simon in the process. Just when I decided to
remove the bubble wrap from my heart and not be afraid to get
hurt... Arrggh,” I groaned loudly.

“Can you call him?” Morgan offered.

“And say what? Morgan, he’s gonzo. I was mean
and unappreciative. I totally deserve this.”

Morgan let out a loud sigh into the phone.
“Go get a good night’s sleep. You can book a flight when you wake
up. Everything looks better in the morning.”

“I hope so.” I crossed my fingers in the air.
“I’m going to give Tess the head’s up that I’m coming home before I
hit the hay.”

“Go to bed,” she said firmly. “I’ll take care
of telling Tess. Actually, eat a gelato and then go to bed. Sugar
therapy.”

“Good idea. The perfect way to bid
adieu
to sorbet,” I sighed. “Thanks, Morgan. Love you.”

“Love you too, Lu.”