Tales From a Broad (16 page)

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I figured you’d be sleeping. It hadn’t
occurred to me you’d be out getting your groove on.” She wiggled
her eyebrows. “Anyway, it wasn’t a big deal. He was just hanging
out and watching TV. He said he would have the concierge send a cab
and twenty minutes later the taxi came, and he was in it. My knight
in a shining taxi cab.”

I took a breath and slowly exhaled. “I
should never have allowed you to go out on that date. I wanted to
be the cool aunt and not tell you what to do, but next time I’m
going to speak up. No more foreign men for you, young lady.”

“Don’t worry. There won’t be a next
time.”

I smiled with relief.

“American-made men here on in!”

“Tess,” I warned.

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted
our conversation. Tess and I looked at each other and froze. She
clapped her hand over her mouth to suppress a giggle.

“Who do you think it is?” she whispered.

“I don’t know. You go.” I felt like a
teenager waiting to see which one of our crushes had come to visit.
I smoothed my hair down and tucked it behind my ears.

“Coming!” Tess got off the bed and ran to
the door.

“Wow, these are beautiful,” I heard her
exclaim.

“They were just delivered. Enjoy,” said a
man with a French accent.

“Merci
,” Tess said and closed the
door.

I heard her pull out a card and squeal. She
walked towards me and held a big bouquet of orchids under my nose.
I inhaled a sweet scent that reminded me of vanilla with a touch of
cinnamon.

“Aren’t these gorgeous?” she beamed. “Guess
who?”

“Tres magnifique
. Let’s see. Could it
be an apology from Pierre?” I said. “No. It sounded like he was too
banged up. Scratch that. I bet they’re ... missing you flowers from
Jack!” I cried. “Yes, that’s my final guess.”

“Aunt Lu,” Tess said with a glimmer in her
eye. “They’re for you.”

She handed me the envelope marked with my
name. I didn’t have to open the card to know who they were
from.

“Simon.” I smiled. He may be young but he
sure knows how to woo a woman. My hand shook with excitement as I
tore open the card.

Fleurs de Berri| 12 Rue de Berri| 75008
Paris | France

Dear Lucy,

It was great to hear your voice the other
night. I’m sorry I caused you so much pain. For what it’s worth, I
think I may have made the biggest mistake of my life. Can we
talk?

Love always,

Cooper

Chapter
Seven

Speechless.

Facebook Status June 10 at 12:10am

I stared at the floor as Tess finished a
dramatic reading of the card. I had read it to myself, read it
aloud and even after she read it, one question still remained, so I
said it aloud.

“Is he
fucking
kidding me?”

Tess looked at me and shook her head in
disbelief. She slipped the gold bangles off of her wrist and
twirled them around her finger.

I jumped up and winced from the throbbing
pain of my ankle. “Now he does this?
Now
?”

Fueled by anger, I began to pace back and
forth. After I’d completed two laps between the bed and coffee
table, I made a pit stop to stuff one of Simon’s chocolates into my
mouth.

“Orchids. He sends me goddamn orchids,” I
muttered, wiping another drip of chocolate drool that escaped from
my mouth. I looked over at the flowers with disdain.

“Are orchids bad?” Tess asked. “Do they
symbolize something inappropriate? Friendship? Deception? Death?”
She had a horrified look on her face.

“Um, considering orchids were what I had
planned to carry down the aisle? Yeah, I’d say they symbolize
something
very
inappropriate. Not to mention the stupid
fights we had over that goddamn flower. Mr. Control Freak wanted me
to carry lilies. Who carries lilies?” I plucked another chocolate
from the box.

“Nobody?” Tess offered. “Besides, what guy
actually cares about the flowers at a wedding, anyway?”

“Seriously. Besides, a lily pollen stain is a
bitch to get out. I finally won that argument. Or did I? It seems
to me that Cooper got the last laugh.” I hobbled over to the bed
and plunked myself down with the chocolates on my lap.

“Well maybe now you’ll really get the last
laugh,” Tess said with her finger pointed at me.

“How? By blowing up like a balloon?” I
groaned and pushed the box off of my lap. “Seriously, what the hell
am I supposed to do? Should I be doing cartwheels that he’s finally
come to his senses? Play hard to get?”

“Um, how about none of the above? He broke
your heart, Aunt Lu.” Tess walked over to my bed and helped herself
to a chocolate.

“I know.” Tears stung my eyes, and I reached
across the nightstand to grab a tissue.

“Ugh,” I exclaimed, ripping it out of the box
with vengeance. “I’m so mad. Can’t I just feel happiness for one
stinking day? Is that too much to ask?”

“Ugh, is right.” Tess stood up and shook her
fists. “Not only did he break your heart, but he humiliated you on
top of it. The more I think about it, the more I want to take those
pollen-infested flowers and shove them up his ass.”

“Those weren’t the pollen ones.” I smiled
despite myself and wiped my nose.

“Whatever. They still suck and so does he. He
abandoned you at a time when you needed him most. You shouldn’t
play hard to get. You
are
hard to get. I’m sorry, but that
man does not deserve your forgiveness.”

I felt a stress headache coming on. I
gathered my hair in a tight ponytail and gave it a hard tug to
massage my scalp. “I don’t know about that, Tess. Doesn’t everyone
deserve a second chance? Maybe he’s finally come to his
senses.”

“Nope.” Tess crossed her arms in front of
her. “He’s come to his senses,” she paused and looked at her watch,
“oh, about three months too late.”

“I know, but it takes a big person to admit
he was wrong.”

“And it takes a crummy person to break off an
engagement. Why are you defending him, anyway? You’re always
selling yourself short.”

“Tess,” I sighed. “This is really
complicated. I know everyone hates him right about now, but let’s
not forget that he was the love of my life. Maybe even still is. He
did, I mean
does
, have some pretty amazing qualities.”

“I’m not so sure my mother would agree with
you on that one.”

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. She
was actually starting to sound like my overprotective sister, and I
was no longer in the mood for a debate. I limped over to the
dresser and opened the top drawer.

“How did he even know you were here? The only
person who knows where we are is my mom, and there is no way in
hell she’d ever tell him your whereabouts.”

“Gee, I don’t know.” I turned around to give
her a dirty look. “Did you by any chance tell five hundred of your
closest Facebook friends where we are?”

Tess sucked in a breath. “I might have
mentioned something to my friend Riley ... on my wall.” She looked
at me and cringed apologetically.

“Tess, I know I’ve said this before, but you
really shouldn’t use Facebook as your personal GPS. Turn your
location services off and let’s keep our whereabouts confidential.
And while we’re on the topic, I’d also like to keep the flowers
confidential.”

“Simon?” Tess said with a knowing look.

“I don’t care about Simon.” I knew that
wasn’t true, especially since the mere mention of his name had
caused my stomach to do a flip.

I quickly turned around and pretended to be
quite absorbed with my pajama drawer. “Your mother is the one I
have to hide this from. I don’t need her two cents. Especially when
I already have you to keep me in line. I’m starting to see that the
apple hasn’t fallen far from the judgmental tree.”

“It’s all out of love, Aunt Lu,” Tess
reminded me gently. I knew it was out of love, but still, I was the
only one allowed to bash my ex-fiancée.

“So. What are you going to do?” she said.

“I have no idea.” The one thing I knew was
that this topic of conversation was officially off limits.

Physically exhausted and mentally drained, I
wished there was another room for me to escape to. I just wanted to
be by myself. Seeing no other option, I pulled off the top sheet
and hopped into bed, fully clothed.

“Actually, I do know. I’m going to go to
bed.” I rolled my pajamas into a ball and tossed them on the
floor.

“Just like that? You’ve been telling me for
years that a woman should never go to bed without washing her
face.”

“Not everything is black and white, sweetie.”
I paused and gave her my biggest and brightest fake smile. “I’m
wiped.” I shut off the light that sat on the nightstand. “Besides,
things always looks clearer in the morning. Goodnight, Tess.”

“I hope so. Goodnight, Aunt Lu. Sweet
dreams.”

Like that would be possible. I closed my eyes
and gave myself permission to let my thoughts run wild. In the
process, I must’ve hit every emotion on the spectrum. I started out
with hate, went to sorrow, then love, and managed to end with a
sliver of hope.

But I sadly reminded myself that no matter
what happened, I still wouldn’t be able to have children. Would
Cooper ever be okay with that? Would another man be able to accept
that about me?

All of a sudden, I had babies on the brain,
and it wasn’t just the type I prayed to God I could have. I thought
about Cooper, who had acted like one and Simon, who, well, seemed
young enough to be one. Oh, baby.

Hours later, I sunk into a state of
semi-consciousness. The last thing that popped into my head was a
flashback of the kiss I’d shared with Simon. Despite everything, I
actually managed to fall asleep with a smile.

* * * *

The next morning, I woke up to the ringing
sound of the phone in our room. I cracked open an eye and sat up in
bed with a start. My contact lenses were stuck to my eyeballs.

“Hello?” I said, groggily.

“Hi.”

I recognized the voice immediately and felt
my stomach flip. I looked over at the lump in Tess’s bed. It hadn’t
moved, despite the interruption.

“Hi, Simon,” I said, dropping my voice to a
whisper.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, not at all. How are you?” I put the
phone on mute and quickly cleared my throat before I unmuted
it.

“I’m good. I just wanted to say I had a
really nice time with you last night.”

“Me, too.” I smiled shyly and bit my nail. I
tasted the remnants of last night’s chocolate binge and a sinking
feeling washed over me as I remembered the way the night had
ended.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Like a baby.” A newborn baby, that is, who
woke up every two hours. I pulled a bottle of saline solution from
the nightstand and poured it into my eyes.

“I was just sitting here wondering what
would’ve happened if we hadn’t been interrupted by Tess and
Mark.”

“Hmm,” I paused to swallow. Let’s see ... we
probably would’ve still been kissing in the hallway or worse, back
in my room. Then the flowers would’ve been delivered and the
interruption would’ve been far more awkward
.

“Something tells me it worked out for the
best,” I said.

“Well, I beg to differ.”

His morning voice sounded sexier than usual,
and my heart skipped a beat, reminding me of the effect he had on
me. I smiled and stretched my free hand overhead.

“What are you guys up to today?” I said in a
hushed tone.

“Well, that all depends on you. How’s your
ankle?”

“Much better, thanks. It must’ve been the
first aid.”

I peered down to make sure that it looked as
good as it felt. For all I knew, it had swollen up to gargantuan
proportions. Thankfully, it hadn’t. Then, when I stepped out of bed
I was relieved to discover it actually did feel much better.

“That’s good news. Mark and I were wondering
if you and Tess would like to join us for a little sightseeing
action. We’re dying to see the Catacombs.”

“No pun intended?”

On the phone, Simon chuckled as I walked over
to the balcony and quietly opened the French doors. When I stepped
outside, the cool morning air gave me a jolt I hadn’t quite
expected. The hair on my arms stood on end, reminding me of an
angry cat.

“Sounds kind of creepy.” I shivered and gave
myself a hug to get warm.

“Maybe a bit, but where else can you find a
labyrinth under the city that holds the bones of six million
starting from the 1500s? C’mon, you have to admit it sounds pretty
cool. It’s supposed to have a maze of passageways and...”

As Simon talked, my mind began to race. I’d
had such a fabulous day and night with him yesterday, but what was
the point of getting together again? Sure, I could say screw it and
have fun, but where would that leave me in the end? I’d be back
home and back to where I started. Alone. Not to mention feeling
worse because this temporary happiness band-aid would be ripped
off.

Or, would I be with Cooper? If I hadn’t
drunk-dialed him in Amsterdam, would he have thought of me? I
peered through the glass at the flowers and saw Tess walking out of
the bathroom.

“So what do you think?” Simon said.

I made a face into the phone. “I don’t know.
Part of me feels like I should just stay here and flush out an idea
for an article I want to pitch.”

“Oh come on. You can do that anytime. Perhaps
a visit to the underbelly of the City of Light might inspire you. I
bet the bones of some very intelligent people are resting down
there. Their souls might find you.”

I needed to do my own soul search. What the
hell was I going to do about Cooper? I looked down at the table
where Simon’s glass of wine still sat. Absently, I picked it up and
traced my finger around the top.