Tales From a Broad (18 page)

The streetlight changed and Tess and Mark
began to walk ahead of us. Still hand in hand, they laughed
together as they walked in step.

“Hey, how come you don’t let me hold your
hand?” Simon asked, giving me a slight nudge.

I swallowed and shoved my hands into my
pockets. “You didn’t ask,” I said with a forced chuckle.

Once we had safely crossed the street Simon
took hold of my elbow and turned me to face him. “Are you okay
today?” His eyebrows were furrowed together.

“Yeah, why? Do I seem weird?” I opened my
eyes wide and waited for him to respond.

“Well ... last night we seemed one way and
today, well, you seem a bit distant. I thought I pulled out my best
moves, but you don’t seem to bite.”

I looked into Simon’s eyes and took a deep
breath.

He reached out and cupped my shoulders with
his hands. “Lucy, I wanted to kiss you so bad before.” He began to
massage my shoulders with a soft pressure.

“When?” I swallowed. I had wanted him to kiss
me so bad too.

“All morning,” Simon said softly. My lips
parted as he took the words right out of my mouth. I pressed them
together.

“I wanted to kiss you hello when we met in
the lobby, as we crossed the Pont des Arts bridge, when we were in
the Eiffel Tower... Let’s see when else?” Simon paused and tapped a
finger to his lips. A blush swept across my face as a smile teased
his lips. “Now?”

I paused for a moment and chewed my bottom
lip. I stole a quick peek over his shoulder at Mark and Tess. “I’m
sorry. It’s just that...”

Simon took his hands off of my shoulders and
cracked his knuckles.

“I feel a little weird with PDA in front of
my niece,” I concluded.

Simon crinkled his nose and shook his head.
“Why?”

I gazed at the newly coupled couple now
locked in a tight embrace. Simon followed my glance and gave me a
sideways look.

“Tess doesn’t seem to mind. Shouldn’t
she
be the one who feels weird?”

“You would think,” I said with a nervous
giggle. “You see,” I paused to take a breath, “part of the reason
for this trip was to get my mind off of the fact that I was
supposed to have gotten married.” I looked up at Simon and
cringed.

Simon took a step back. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and closed my eyes before
they flew open as I realized what he must be thinking. “Wait,
Cooper, my ex has nothing to do with my weirdness.”

A look of relief crossed Simon’s face.
“That’s all you?”

“That’s all me.” I smiled and waved a hand
over my body.

“Well, that’s good to know. I mean, you
mentioned an ex-fiancée, but I didn’t realize he had earned the
title so recently.”

My jaw tightened as I clenched my teeth. “Oh,
he didn’t earn the title. He chose the title. I guess you can say
things got a little messy, which is why Tess and her mother, my
meddling sister, banded together to get me on this trip. They’ve
been treating me like a wounded bird.” I scoffed and picked at one
of my fingernails.

“Are you? A wounded bird?” He sipped water as
he waited for my answer.

I inhaled, hoping the lavender-scented air
would calm my nerves. This time it was laced with an aroma of
coffee wafting from a nearby cart. “I was and then I wasn’t and
then now...” I gazed into Simon’s warm eyes and faltered. Why did I
need to tell him this?

Screw Cooper and his stupid flowers. “I’m
doing great.” I smiled and much to my surprise, it actually felt
genuine. I still may have had a way to go, but Simon was definitely
chicken soup for my f’d up soul.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. I’ll just have
to steal you away from your niece for a bit,” Simon said with a
wink.

“I know it sounds silly.” I rolled my eyes
and shook my head. “I just think that it’s best to keep my private
life to myself on this trip. Tess is a hopeless romantic and will
conjure up her own ridiculousness. The next thing I know, my sister
will be calling for the scoop. That’s all I need, for them to start
yapping that we’re having a thing.”

Simon cocked his head to the side and raised
his eyebrows. “God forbid they think that.”

I looked up at Simon’s tone. Was he offended?
How could he be? Had no one ever turned him down before? Did I step
on his playboy party toes by rejecting him? Suddenly I was annoyed.
This girl wasn’t going to just fall at his feet because he had a
killer smile and mesmerizing eyes. I was wiser than that.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just
that...”

“No need to explain,” Simon interrupted. “Do
you want to...?”

I felt a knot in my throat and swallowed.
“Simon, I love your company. It’s just I’m so much older and I ...
I...” I was so goddamn attracted to him and was absolutely
terrified to get close to another man. Especially, a younger one.
Would he reject me one day too? Cooper left me because of my rotten
eggs. What would do Simon in? A fresher set of hot cross buns? I
narrowed my eyes at him.

Simon took his hands and placed them on my
shoulders. That wasn’t helping; it just made me want him to kiss
me.

“Relax, you ageist. I can almost hear the
wheels spinning in your head. You think too much. What I was about
to say before you cut me off, was, do you want to head over to the
line?”

My face burned, and I closed my eyes for a
moment willing my embarrassment away. I opened my eyes and began to
walk ahead. In doing so, I tripped over a mound of God knows what
on the sidewalk and stumbled into Simon’s path.

He reached his arms out and managed to catch
me right before I hit the ground. After he helped me up, one hand
remained wrapped around my waist. The heat from his hand warmed my
entire body and I jumped back with a start. I readjusted my
clothing and tucked my hair behind my ears.

“You know, I’m starting to think you might be
doing this on purpose.” The creases by his eyes folded as he
smiled. “Is this your way of making a move?”

“You wish.” I snorted. “What the hell was
that?” I took another step back from Simon while trying to peer
behind him and see what had tripped me.

That’s when a man jumped up from a crouched
position on the sidewalk and blurted something out to us in French,
an inquisitive look on his face. He held a shiny gold wedding band
under my nose. He was on the short side and standing before him,
after tripping over him, I felt like a big oaf.

I looked up at Simon for a translation. He
shook his head impatiently.

“Um ...
Non merci
?” I offered.

“Is yours?” the man asked.

“Oh. No,” I replied. I looked around to see
if anyone was searching for a ring.

“Want to buy ring for mademoiselle?” the man
said to Simon. “I need food. You make money when you sell. Twenty
euros.”

Simon put his hand on my back. “Come on.
Let’s go,” he said abruptly.

“Please,” the man begged. “You can sell for
beaucoup
money. Is pure gold.”

I gave Simon a look. “I’d like to help this
man. I’ll buy it myself,” I whispered. I gave the man a warm smile
and reached into my bag. His eyes were grateful as he murmured
something in French.

“It’s a scam, Lucy,” Simon sighed, pulling on
my arm.

“You’re such an American. You don’t have to
be so defensive.” I fished through my bag and realized that all I
had on me was plastic.

“Simon, I don’t have cash. Can I borrow a
twenty?”

“I don’t have change. Let’s go.”

Simon muttered a few words to the man in
French. Then he pulled on my arm again and steered me away.

My heart went out to the stranger. There he
was trying to sell me an expensive ring just to get a meal and this
cheap guy couldn’t reach into his pockets. I gave the man a tight
smile, and he gave me a dark stare in return. Then he spit in our
direction and walked away.

“Lucy, did you see what he just did? It was
definitely a scam. A nice guy doesn’t hock a loogie at a lady.”

I shook my head and looked away. A massive
line had formed, and judging from the crowd of people camped out on
the floor, I assumed the wait would be longer than we thought.

“I’m going to grab a few coffees. Hopefully
they’ll take credit since you can’t seem to spare a few bucks.” I
shot Simon a look over my shoulder and walked towards a coffee cart
at the top of the line.

Cooper would never have done that. He
probably would’ve given the man an extra twenty, given me the ring,
and then bee-lined to Harry Winston for a matching bracelet. Cooper
always did the right thing. Well, most of the time anyway.

I drew in a breath and counted to three as I
inhaled.
Let-Cooper-Go
, I reminded myself on the exhale.

While I waited, an old lady with a shopping
cart sidled up beside me. It looked as if she had just raided a
dollar store with her cartful of trinkets. I looked at her goods
and saw a bag of gold rings that were marked two euros. I inched
closer and realized the rings were identical to the one I had
almost bought. The guy
was
a scammer.

Argh. I stamped my foot on the sidewalk. Did
Simon really have to be right? More importantly, did I have to be
wrong?

I ordered the coffees and looked over at the
group. It looked like Simon was telling a story, and the dimple in
his cheek moved as he spoke and deepened when he smiled. I folded
my arms across my chest and tapped my fingers. Damn that stupid
smile... not only did it cause my stomach to do a flip, but it also
kicked my conscience into overdrive.

Maybe I should just suck it up and say I was
sorry. I sighed and returned to the group with the coffees in hand.
As I handed them out, I spotted the guy with the ring. He was
eyeing an elderly couple like a hawk. The couple had just climbed
onto a pair of rented bicycles, and I watched him approach them
with the ring in hand.

“No!” I cried. I hit Simon on the chest with
the back of my hand. He was in the middle of taking a sip.

“What?” he sputtered. I pointed to the man
and Simon followed my gaze. “You were right. We can’t let him try
to pull one over on that elderly couple. I’ll be right back.”

“We’ll
be right back,” Simon said as
he followed me over to the couple.

“Give me twenty euros,” the beggar was
saying.

“Leave them alone, man,” Simon said.

I turned to the older couple. “The guy’s a
scammer. Did he ask if it belonged to you?” The woman nodded and
held her hand to her chest, as if she were about to have a heart
attack.

“Don’t feel bad. He did it to us too. The
ring is worthless,” I said.

The beggar shoved the ring into his pocket.
“
Baise toi
. Fuck you!” he exclaimed before he spat at my
feet.

I don’t know what shocked me more—the fact
that he insulted me, or that his insult actually sounded glamorous
in French.

Simon grabbed the guy by his collar and
growled something in French. I didn’t know what he said, but I
could tell it wasn’t very nice. The tips of Simon’s ears had turned
red, and a vein bulged from his neck.

My heart began to race, and I could actually
taste the rise of vomit in my throat. The last thing I wanted was
for Simon to get into a fight over a ring that had probably been
mass-produced in China. I took him by the arm and dragged him away.
The Frenchman brushed off his clothes and skulked away.

I turned to Simon with my mouth wide open.
“Are you crazy? Thank you for defending me, but you could’ve gotten
killed. What if he had a knife?”

He gave me a sideways look as he removed his
hat. “C’mon. I could’ve fit that little twit in my back pocket.
It’s really not a big deal.” The front of Simon’s hair was matted
down and I resisted the urge to rumple it.

“Well, it is to me. What did you say,
anyway?”

“Spit at her one more time and so help me
God, I’ll kick your ass,” Simon replied nonchalantly.

I formed fists with my hands and tapped my
knuckles together. “I once got spit on by a Met fan at a Yankee
game. Cooper simply grabbed my arm and said, ‘Keep walking...don’t
look back.’”

Simon threw his hat back on and opened his
mouth to say something, but then stopped himself.

“Go ahead. You can say it. I totally deserve
it. You were right, and I’m sorry.” I looked up at Simon and
cringed.

“Sorry for what? Seeing the good in a person?
I don’t need to be right Lucy, and that wasn’t what I was about to
say. There are a lot of things you deserve. An I-told-you-so is
definitely not one of them.” Simon put his hat back on and looked
at me.

I pursed my lips together and twirled the
bottom of my hair. “Chivalrous and kind. Who knew?”

“Oh, there’s quite a bit you don’t know about
me.” Simon reached over and gave my arm a squeeze. He was
definitely inching his way up the appeal-o-meter.

“Aunt Lu!” Tess called. “C’mon.” The line had
begun to move, and it was finally our turn to enter.

As we walked through the entrance to the
cemetery under the city, I began to feel a little unsteady.
Especially when I saw an oxygen tank encased in glass and labeled
with all sorts of warning signs.

I took a deep breath, peered around the
entrance, and noticed a digital number on the wall. “Look,” I said,
attempting to sound casual. “That must be the amount of people down
there.” The others were silent as they followed my gaze.

“One hundred and eighty three. Wow, that’s a
lot of people in a small space,” Tess said.

“Actually, I think it’s the amount of oxygen
that’s left,” Mark replied with a straight face. “The number just
went down as that guy entered.” He pointed to a grossly overweight
man.

I looked at Simon in horror and he gave me a
reassuring pat.

“Not for persons with a nervous disposition,”
Tess read off the wall. “Oh, Aunt Lu. Maybe you should sit this one
out.”