Tales From a Broad (19 page)

“Are you an anxious person?” Mark asked. “You
seem so chill.”

“Ha!” Tess cried. “She’s a nervous
thinker.”

Mark laughed.

“I’m so glad you’re amusing yourselves at my
expense,” I muttered as we approached the ticketing window.

We descended the dark and narrow staircase
and as we wound around and around, I became dizzier and dizzier. By
the time we got to the bottom, a dark opening, I paused and placed
a hand on Simon’s shoulder to steady myself.

The air smelled like mold and dampness. Even
in the dark, I saw tiny drops of water that glistened on the
ceiling. Mark and Tess walked ahead.

Simon turned to me and placed his hands on my
shoulders. “Are you okay? Thousands of people pass through here
every day. There’s nothing to worry about, I promise.”

I looked up at him and nodded.

“Ready?” he said.

“Ready.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw rows of
stacked skulls and squeezed my eyes shut. I peered at Simon from
under hooded lids and saw him approaching for a kiss. I closed my
eyes again and felt his soft lips on mine.

He managed to take away the little breath I
had left. My knees buckled, and I pressed up against him for
support. The kiss we’d shared the night before had been soft and
sweet. This one was completely different. Cooper definitely never
had this much of an effect on me.

“Sorry,” Simon whispered, several seconds
later, when I pulled away. I felt as if there were thousands of
eyes watching us. I reminded myself they were only skeletal
sockets.

“You looked a bit woozy,” he continued. “I
thought a kiss would revive you, but then I realized that a slap or
a shake is what usually does the trick.”

“Oh, that did the trick all right. As did
your attempt to get me alone in the dark.” I smiled weakly and
looked away at the limestone wall I wanted to bang my head against.
Did the spirit of an old French lover cast a spell on me? My brain
said one thing, but my body screamed another.

The mixed messages made my mind whirl, and I
floated through the maze, viewing the skulls and neatly arranged
piles upon piles of bones. I also peeked from the corner of my eye
to get a sense of what Simon was thinking.

Several times, he and I paused to look at the
signs, and I could feel his arm brush up against mine as I
pretended to focus on what we read. I wasn’t taking in a word. The
only thing I was conscious of was Simon standing so close to
me.

“Oh look; here’s a quote in English,” Simon
said.

“Henry David Thoreau,” I read aloud. “It
doesn’t matter how rich you are, how poor—”

“How much older you are than the man who is
trying to woo you,” Simon interrupted and nudged me.

A chuckle escaped me, and my mouth fell
agape. “I don’t think that’s what it says,” I replied, amused. The
kid may have been relentless, but his confidence was rather
intriguing.

“Maybe not, but I’m sure that’s what it
meant.”

I rolled my eyes as he moved ahead to read
another sign next to the exit. Was he really trying to woo me? I
knew he’d been flirting with me, but to come out with such a bold
statement made me a touch uptight and slightly euphoric at the same
time.

Okay, more than slightly. But, hey, was there
any harm in having a little fun? I deserved it. Life was short, as
I had just witnessed in the underground cemetery. Maybe the
universe was trying to send me a message. Live for today and stop
worrying about tomorrow. The Catacombs may have been better than a
shrink. Who knew? At that moment I was happy, and I was going to do
whatever, or
whoever,
to stay that way.

My phone vibrated, indicating a new email. I
reached for it immediately, needing an escape from the visions in
my brain. When I realized the email was from Cooper, my blood
chilled.

I looked at Simon. He appeared absorbed in
the display, so I leaned against the doorway to read what Cooper
had to say for himself. As I waited for the message to open, a tap
on my arm caused me to jump.

“Pardon.”
A young French man stood
before me.

“I’m so sorry.” I realized I had been
blocking the entrance. I slid over to the left and felt something
probing my back.

“Ouch,” I muttered, rubbing the small of my
back. I turned around to see what it was and was greeted by what
must’ve been a pile of legs many centuries ago.

I inhaled a sharp breath and somehow jumped
my way back into Simon’s arms. His eyebrows flew up as he clutched
my arms to keep me from falling. He tenderly kissed my cheek and
pulled me in for a protective hug.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

When we pulled away, Simon offered me his
hand, which I accepted gratefully. I clutched my phone tightly with
my other hand. As much as I was dying to see what Cooper had
written, I was really enjoying Simon’s comfort. I stuffed the phone
into my bag and allowed him to lead me through the exit and up the
stairs to the street. When we got outside, I drew in a deep breath
and leaned against the wall, after checking to be sure I wasn’t
blocking the door or any body parts.

“You made it,” Simon said, holding out a
fist.

“There’s a first time for everything.” I
tapped his fist with one of my own. I wasn’t even talking about the
Catacombs. When had high fives become a thing of the past?

I felt my phone vibrating inside my bag and
immediately a pit opened in my stomach. “Let’s wait here for Mark
and Tess.”

“Pardon, Mademoiselle
?” a man
said.

I looked up at a man who was wearing gloves
and had a trash bag in hand. “Yes?”

The maintenance man frowned.

“Er
, oui
?” I offered.

His expression softened. “You can’t stand
here. You are blocking the exit.”

“What is it with me and exits today? I’m
sorry, I was just waiting for my niece.” I reached into my bag to
retrieve my phone.

“You and your nephew can wait over there,” he
said, pointing to a bench.

I nodded politely and gave Simon a terse
smile.

“Ouch,” Simon whispered as we walked
away.

Nephew
. That sealed the deal. If there
were any doubts, they were all buried in the Catacombs. I busied
myself with my phone and saw I now had not one, but two missed
calls, and they were both from Cooper. I could no longer wait to
see what he had to say. I bee-lined over to the bench.

“Hey, slow down, Luce. What, do you have a
ghost following you?” Simon called out as I ran ahead.

“Pretty much.” I plunked myself down on the
bench like a pile of bones.

I wasn’t sure if it was Simon, Cooper, or the
thousands of body parts we had just seen, but suddenly an
overwhelming feeling of dizziness struck. I slumped down, rested my
head against the back of the bench, and closed my eyes.

Simon stood behind me and placed his hands on
my shoulders. I sat up straighter as he massaged a muscle that was
quickly becoming a knot. “Are you okay, Luce?”

“Yeah, I just feel a little weird.”

“I know. I do, too. It’s not that big of a
deal. The hat makes me look younger. I hear that all the time.”

I tossed him a look over my shoulder. “Maybe
I should try wearing a hat.”

Simon laughed and leaned closer to me.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

His breath was warm on my neck and a shiver
ran down my spine. I clasped my moist hands together and gave them
a supportive squeeze as he continued to massage me.

“Thank you, but for once, it wasn’t your age
that made me feel weird. I just got an email from my ex, followed
by two missed calls.” I glanced at my phone and felt Simon’s hands
stiffen on my shoulders.

“Oh?” Simon walked around the bench to face
me. “Cooper?”

I squinted my eyes to see Simon through the
brightness of the hazy sky. “Yep, the one and only. First, he sent
me flowers last night and now...”

“He did?” Simon said, with an edge to his
voice.

I saw a glimpse of some emotion cross his
face, but it became carefully blank again as he sat on the bench.
“I thought you said he was history.”

“I thought so too, but apparently ghosts
never really go away, do they? It’s kind of a long story.” I waved
my hand dismissively and reached for the guidebook Simon held in
his hands.

He lifted it higher in the air. “Nope. I want
to hear your story first.”

“Oh, come on,” I whined. “Actually, it’s
really not much of a story and is exactly what I just told
you.”

“Well, flowers, an email, phone calls ... It
kind of sounds like a story about a man who is in hot pursuit of
you. Is this out of nowhere?”

“Nowhere.” I rolled my eyes as I turned my
body to face him. “We haven’t spoken since we broke up a few months
ago.”

“And you broke up because...?”

I leaned my arm on the back of the bench and
rested my head in my hand. My chest tightened as I debated how much
to tell him. Hell, I may as well practice my spiel. It wasn’t like
he was going to be a long-term contender in the dating game. No
matter how much I happened to enjoy his company.

“Well, the long and short of it is that I
waited too long to have kids.”

I shifted my body and sat on my hands to keep
them from shaking. I sneaked a peak at Simon, but he didn’t seem to
have much of a reaction. He just sat there and looked at me through
narrowed eyes.

“What?” I felt paranoid and braced myself for
his answer.

“I don’t get this. You’re a little over
forty. How is that possible?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Who knows? For
whatever reason, my eggs have expired. My fiancée was pretty
shocked too.”

Tears welled in my eyes, and I pressed my
lips together. I looked down at the ground, nervous to see if his
reaction was going to change. I wasn’t even sure why I cared, but
suddenly I did.

“Hey.” Simon touched my chin and gently
tipped it up to meet his gaze. “Let me get this straight. This is
why he broke up with you?”

I chewed my bottom lip and nodded.

“Unbelievable.” Simon shook his head. “He
doesn’t realize what he had, Lucy. Maybe now he does but I really
hope it’s too late ... for you. I’m sorry, but that’s
unforgivable.”

“Is it though? I changed what he thought he
was getting out of life. Out of a wife.”

“Lucy.” Simon took a firm hold of my arms.
“That doesn’t change who he was marrying, who he would grow old
with, who he would weather the storms with. The going gets tough,
and he gets going? This is the twenty-first century. There are
other ways to have a family. Please,” he muttered.

My heart melted, but I fought it tooth and
nail. “Says the man who wants to adopt. Not everyone feels the way
you do. You already know that’s something you want to do.”

“I also know whomever I fall in love with, I
will stay in love with, through good times and bad.
Especially
, bad. I’m sorry, Lucy, but if you ask me, the guy
did you a favor.” Simon may have spoken in a gentle tone, but his
words cut through me like a knife.

“I know it sounds that way.” I sighed and
absently twisted the non-existent ring on my finger. “But we have
history, Simon. I loved him.”

Simon nodded solemnly. “Are you going to call
him back?”

“I don’t know.” I took a hair band from my
wrist and pulled my hair into a ponytail. “Believe it or not, he
really is a nice guy, despite the little details I’ve shared.”

“Little details,” Simon muttered and rolled
his eyes. “I’m sorry, but what you just told me is not a little
detail, so I need to hear more. What did he do for you?”

“What did he do for me...” I paused and
considered. “Well, for starters, he treats me like a queen.”

“As long as you look like one, right?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at
Simon.

“Didn’t you say he prefers it when you’re all
dressed up?” I could detect a hint of impatience in Simon’s
voice.

“Well yeah, he’s more on the formal side, but
the plus to that is he always looks really put together.”

“Go on.” Simon compressed his lips into a
line.

“Okay, he’s funny. Not funny like you.” I
smiled. “But he does make me laugh.”

“Is he ... successful?”

“Oh yes. Very. He’s always been career
driven, and he’s settled and in a good place. In fact, he motivates
me to work harder and stick to my goals. He was really good for
me.”

Simon’s face wore no expression, whatsoever.
I bet he made one hell of a Poker player.

“Is he fun? Not many people can pull off
success and spontaneity.”

I stumbled for a minute. “Well, we’ve
definitely had some good times. He’s not wild and crazy.” I
laughed. “I mean, he would never take weeks off to travel the way
we all are. And if he ever did, it would have to be perfectly
planned with reservations at the finest restaurants and hotels.
He’s a bit anal like that and his career always came first, but
that’s what makes him so successful.”

“So, where did you fit in?” Simon
prompted.

I closed my eyes and wished that I hadn’t
opened up to him. I should’ve just walked away and read the damn
email from Cooper in peace. “That’s not fair, Simon. This,” I said,
opening my eyes and waving my hand between the two of us, “is not
reality.”

“Ouch,” Simon said with a wince. “It feels
pretty real to me.”

I shook my head quickly. “That didn’t come
out right. What I meant was, my life isn’t spent waiting for summer
camp to start.”

I didn’t need to see the hurt look that
appeared on Simon’s face before I immediately regretted my choice
of words. My hand flew to the sides of my face and I let out an
exasperated sigh. What was I doing? What was I trying to prove? And
to whom?

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just ... this
situation is stressing me out. I know you mean well, but I don’t
need to defend him to you. You and I are in different phases of
life, Simon. I was ready to settle down with a settled man. You
couldn’t possibly understand how I’m feeling.”