Tell Me No Spies (4 page)

My mind drifted, and I
smiled up into Arnie’s ugly face. As his lips touched mine, I
decided it was lucky he wasn’t handsome, or he’d be utterly
devastating. I found him irresistible just as he was…

He deepened the kiss,
his magic tongue teasing me. Heat coursed through my body, and I
jerked with shock at the sound of Kane’s voice.

“Aydan. Sorry to wake
you. Come on, let’s go.”

I dragged gritty eyes
open as he reached a hand down to help me up. Jeez, lucky I hadn’t
been holding the network key when I went to sleep. It’d be
embarrassing as hell to try to explain why I’d apparently been
using a top-secret brainwave-driven government network to create
porn. Starring me.

I followed Kane down
the hallway, silently cursing my life.

The next morning, I
bolted upright in bed at the sound of my doorbell. I squinted
blearily at the clock as I crawled out of bed, whining. Eight
o’clock. God, less than five hours of sleep.

I staggered into the
walk-in closet with half-closed eyes and grabbed the first thing
that came to hand, an ugly lightweight robe I probably should have
thrown out years ago. As I stumbled through the kitchen I yanked my
fingers through my hair, trying to tame some of the night’s
tangles.

With a yawn that
threatened to turn me inside-out, I opened the door and the wind
snatched at my robe. I made a frantic grab and quickly secured it,
but not before it became abundantly obvious I didn’t own any night
clothes.

Heat rushed to my face
as I met Tom’s paralyzed stare. “Sorry,” I mumbled, suddenly
finding my floor fascinating.

“Uh,” he said. “No… No
need to apologize. I’m sorry, I thought you’d be up…” He trailed
off.

“It turned into a late
night last night…” I dribbled to a halt myself, knowing what he was
thinking and knowing that denying it would only cause more
complications. I scrubbed a hand over my face, wishing I could
shrink and vanish between the cracks in the floorboards.

“I, uh, I brought the
expenses you asked for.” He held out a folded piece of paper. I
took it mechanically, not meeting his eyes. “Aydan…” he hesitated.
“Can I come in?”

“Oh! Um, yeah.” I
backed away from the door. Jeez, I have all the social graces of an
inept chimpanzee.

No, wait; chimpanzees
actually have a fairly sophisticated social structure…

I tried not to grimace
as I dragged my groggy mind back to the subject at hand. “Sorry.
I’m not quite awake yet.”

He strode in and sat
in one of my kitchen chairs without invitation. I closed the door
and hovered for a second, looking anywhere but at his face. “I’m,
um, I’m just going to go and put some clothes on…”

I fled for my bedroom.
Christ, maybe I could find some dignity, too, while I was at
it.

I threw on the ratty
jeans and sweatshirt that lay on my chair and dragged the brush
through my hair, trying not to look at my baggy-eyed reflection in
the mirror. God, if I hadn’t accidentally flashed him, my
appearance this morning would have been enough to make him lose
interest on the spot. Too bad he hadn’t been looking at my
face.

I groaned and
considered drowning myself in the bathroom sink, but the logistics
defied me. I trailed reluctantly back toward the kitchen
instead.

When I arrived, Tom
was slouched in the chair, his long legs outstretched, booted feet
crossed, arms folded over his chest. He looked up when I entered,
and I steeled myself to meet his eyes. He wore a neutral
expression, and we regarded each other for a moment before I turned
to the fridge.

“I need to eat. Do you
want anything?” I busied myself pulling out milk, fruit, bread, and
peanut butter.

“No, thanks, I’ve
eaten.”

He sat in silence
until I took my place across from him at the table and started
munching my grapes.

“Aydan, can we
talk?”

I suppressed a sigh.
“Sure. What’s on your mind?” As if I didn’t know.

“Are you all right?
Are you… safe?”

“Mmm?” I froze,
staring at him, before I remembered to swallow my mouthful. “Of
course.”

His blue eyes searched
my face. “Last night you were nervous all evening. When Kane showed
up at the bar, you kept watching him as if you were afraid. And
then he was waiting for you in the parking lot. Is he stalking
you?”

“No, of course
not.”

He cocked an eyebrow
at me. “Then what is he holding over you? Every time he says
‘jump’, you ask ‘how high’. And last night…” He paused. “I came
back to make sure you were all right. I saw you in the truck with
him. He was so rough with you, and it looked like you were fighting
him.”

His face darkened, and
I did my best not to wince as he added almost under his breath, “At
first, anyway…” He frowned at me. “I didn’t know whether you needed
help or not.”

“No,” I said quickly,
hoping to end the conversation there. “I was fine…”

I fumbled for
something smooth and tactful to say, failed, and gave up as heat
rose in my cheeks again. Nothing like going out with one man and
ending the evening by making out with a different one. Talk about
cheesy. Even though I hadn’t technically been on a date with Tom.
And dammit, making out with Kane hadn’t been my idea. And…

Tom leaned across the
table and took my hand, interrupting my internal rationalizations.
“Aydan, if he’s making you do things you don’t want to do, you can
tell me. Let me help you.”

I looked into his
earnest face and sighed. “Tom, thanks, but I’m fine. John doesn’t
have any hold over me.”

I saw the disbelief in
his eyes and pulled my hand away to rub my aching head. God, I’d
been up for less than ten minutes, and I had a headache already.
That must be a friggin’ record. I was too tired to come up with any
convincing lies, so I went with as much of the truth as I could
tell.

“John and I… we have
a… complicated relationship, that’s all. We’re attracted to each
other, but he wants a more serious relationship than I can give
him. It makes things tense between us sometimes. That’s all.”

“So he was forcing
you.” His sky-blue eyes turned to ice. “That dirtbag. Aydan, I’m so
sorry, I should have…”

“No!” I clutched a
couple of handfuls of hair and tugged, trying to salvage an
explanation that would reassure him. “Nothing happened between us
last night, he… I think he just wanted you to see he was staking a
claim…” I shut up, realizing I was reinforcing the ‘deranged
stalker’ label. I tried again.

“There actually was
some urgent stuff at work. We drove over there, worked until nearly
three, and then he brought me home. That’s all. He would never
force me or hurt me.”

“That’s what you said
about Hellhound, too, and I don’t believe that, either.” He frowned
at me across the table. “Aydan… You deserve better. Why are you
wasting your time with these violent men?”

I swallowed a groan.
“I know you’re trying to help. But just let me be your dumb flaky
neighbour who makes bad relationship decisions, okay? Just let it
go. Please?”

His eyes narrowed as
he searched my face. “I know you’re not dumb or flaky. And when
Kane’s not around, you’re happy and relaxed with me.” He took my
hand again. “Tell him it’s over. Tell him you’re with me now. Let
me deal with him.”

“Tom.” I met his eyes
squarely and hardened my heart. “Let it go. I told you months ago
there can’t be anything between you and me, and that hasn’t
changed. If we can still be friends, I’d like that, but that’s all
it can be. You need to let me make my own mistakes with Arnie and
John and anybody else I choose. You can’t protect me.”

He leaned back in the
chair and regarded me with obvious frustration. “I can’t protect
you if you won’t let me. Why…”

The sound of
scattering gravel made us both glance out the window to see Kane’s
mean black BMW motorcycle skid to a stop outside.

Tom’s brows snapped
together. “He’s watching you constantly, isn’t he? Aydan, you don’t
have to live like this.”

Kane’s heavy footsteps
thudded on the veranda and a moment later he burst through the door
without knocking, wearing an expression as black as his leather
jacket. Tom shot to his feet and the two men eyed each other,
Kane’s stormy grey to Tom’s icy blue.

Kane gave me a look
from under lowered brows. “Aydan, we need you at the office again.
Urgent.” His gaze raked over Tom. “Sorry, you’ll have to leave
now.”

Tom’s eyes narrowed
and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “She’s not going with you this
time,” he said quietly.

Kane’s face smoothed
into expressionless calm as he placed his helmet on the table. When
he straightened, his arms were loose and his posture relaxed, his
weight on the balls of his feet. Anyone would think he was
completely unperturbed, unprepared for an attack. I knew
better.

I put a hand on Tom’s
arm, feeling the rigid muscle through his soft shirt. “It’s okay,
Tom, I need to go and work on that audit some more.”

“No, you don’t.” Tom
took a step forward, placing himself between Kane and me as he
locked eyes with Kane. “I don’t like the way you treat Aydan. And I
don’t want you stalking her anymore. That stops now.” His voice was
quiet, but hard as iron.

The corner of Kane’s
mouth twitched up in a small, humourless half-smile. His eyes never
left Tom’s. “Aydan makes her own decisions. Why don’t you ask her
what she wants?”

I felt the muscles
bunch in Tom’s arm. “You’re obviously threatening her. She’ll say
what you tell her to say.”

“Tom!” I swung around
in front of him and got up in his face. “Stop. He’s not threatening
me. This is none of your business. Let it go.”

He spared me a
fleeting glance before meeting Kane’s stare again. He spoke without
looking at me. “I’m making it my business.”

Tom tried to move me
aside as he took another step toward Kane, and cold fear pulsed
through my veins. He wasn’t going to back down. And as brave and
strong as Tom was, I knew Kane could destroy three Toms with his
bare hands. I’d seen him do it.

Pent-up tension
exploded out of me. “Tom! It’s none of your business! I don’t want
your help!” I pushed him toward the door. “It’s time for you to go.
Now. Goodbye.”

He took an involuntary
step backward as I shoved him again. “But, Aydan, you…”

“Go,” I interrupted.
“Goodbye.”

My heart wrung as
confusion and hurt filled his eyes. Then his face hardened and he
gave a curt nod before turning on his heel. The door banged behind
him.

Kane’s combat-ready
posture eased into his normal stance as he surveyed my face. “Are
you all right?”

“I…” I stared at him
helplessly for a moment before dropping into a chair to let my
aching forehead fall onto the table with a thump. “I can’t do this
anymore,” I whimpered into the tabletop.

I heard him pull up a
chair beside me, and his arm was gentle around my shoulders. “Tell
me what happened. Talk to me.”

I leaned into him,
taking a little comfort. He brushed my hair back, his fingertips
lingering on my cheek. “Tell me.”

I determinedly
squelched the urge to throw my arms around him and hide my face in
his broad chest until everything else went away. I blew out a long
sigh and pulled back instead.

“I just can’t do this
anymore. Ray Webb was asking awkward questions about what I’m doing
at Sirius. And I can’t keep hurting people like that.” A spasm of
guilt shook me at the memory of Tom’s face. “I just can’t.”

Kane took my hand and
held it gently. “Aydan, I know you can do what needs to be
done.”

“I can kill criminals
if necessary. But I can’t… won’t hurt innocent people.”

He sighed, and his
eyes were old and tired as he replied, “Sometimes that’s necessary,
too.” He frowned as I opened my mouth to argue, and spoke over me.
“Who’s Ray Webb?”

“Spider’s dad. I was
over at their place on Friday night for Spider’s surprise birthday
party.”

“Oh.” Kane regarded me
with a troubled expression. “Aydan, I know you’re not going to want
to hear this, but you need to stop getting so involved with people.
You can’t afford to get close in our line of work.”

His face twisted as he
said it, and I knew he was remembering our conversation of a couple
of months ago. “I’m sorry, I know you already know that,” he added.
“But we all need to be reminded sometimes.” He lifted a wry
eyebrow, and I gave him a bitter smile in return.

“I know. But we need
to do damage control. That’s twice in two days I’ve had problems. I
don’t know what to do.”

“What exactly
happened?”

I explained both
encounters to him in detail, and he sat back in his chair,
frowning. “Let me think about it for a while. Just lie low in the
mean time.”

I suddenly recalled
the reason for his visit, and jumped to my feet. “How urgent is the
decryption? Do I have time for a shower, or should we go right
now?”

He rose, too. “There’s
no decryption. This time I really was stalking you.” He smiled at
my expression. “Don’t worry, the stalking was in a professional
capacity. After last night, I had a feeling you might have problems
with Rossburn. I told the analysts to call me if they saw him on
the surveillance cameras.”

“Oh.” I looked up at
him, wondering how much of his attention was duty and how much was
personal, disguised as duty.

As if reading my mind,
he blew out a long breath. “I thought it would be best if I looked
jealous. We may have to pretend to be involved as a cover, though
I’d like to avoid it if at all possible. It causes too many
complications down the line.”

“Okay.” I followed him
to the door, and found myself standing too close for comfort when
he turned.

“Don’t worry,” he
said. “We’ll figure it out.”