Tell Me No Spies (6 page)

I twitched when Kane
made a move toward me, and he stopped and took a slow step backward
instead.

“Aydan, if you can’t
do this, let’s go. Just turn around and go out.” His voice was deep
and soothing. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do this. You’re not
trapped here. You can just leave.”

I brought my breathing
under control again and clasped my hands in front of me to still
the tremor. “Can I just sit somewhere else?”

“You can sit anywhere
you like,” Sam replied quickly, his tone suggesting the indulgence
one might offer a dangerous lunatic. Appropriate, under the
circumstances.

I sidled toward the
chair he offered, trying to simulate rational behaviour. As I
seated myself shakily, my paranoia erupted in spite of me. “Promise
you won’t let him tie me up,” I demanded.

“Nobody’s going to tie
you up,” Kane reassured me.

“Promise!”

“I promise,” he
said.

“You, too,” I begged
Spider.

“I promise, Aydan,” he
said. “Don’t worry, we won’t let anything happen to you.”

I breathed deeply some
more. “Thanks.” I turned sheepishly to Sam. “I’m sorry, I’m not
usually such a basket case. I’ve just spent ‘way too much time tied
to chairs lately.”

“It’s all right,” he
said. “I read the reports. I know what you’ve been through. I’d
probably feel the same in your place. Just tell me if anything
makes you uncomfortable, and we’ll stop right away.”

“Thanks.” I held
myself still while he secured a band festooned with trailing wires
around my forehead.

“That’s it,” he said.
“Go ahead and do what you usually do.”

“Hold on,” Spider
cautioned. “Just give me a minute to get set up.” He busied himself
with his laptop, and turned a worried face to me a few minutes
later. “Okay, I’m ready whenever you are.”

Kane pulled up a chair
beside me, grasping the fob that would give him network access. “Go
ahead, Aydan.”

I closed my eyes and
stepped into the void of the virtual reality network, concentrating
fiercely on open spaces.

Sam’s bemused voice
floated down from the wide blue virtual sky. “What is this?”

“It’s not part of my
decryption,” I assured him as Kane’s avatar popped into existence
beside me on the mountaintop. “If I’m feeling anxious, I create
this sim to keep my mind focused and help myself relax.”

My hair whipped around
my face and I pawed it into a rough ponytail. I stood for a few
long moments, breathing the scent of spruce and gazing down the
long, misty valley between mountain ranges, soothed by the
ceaseless echoing song of the wind. Kane stood patiently beside me
while I took a few deep breaths.

“Okay, I’m ready now.”
I dissolved the mountain sim, and Kane and I strode down the
virtual corridor to the file room.

Some time later, I
folded over in the chair, clutching my head and muttering
profanities between gritted teeth. When I finally opened my eyes
and straightened, all three men were regarding me with concern.

“Is this normal?” Sam
demanded as he slipped the headband off.

“Yes.” Kane stepped
behind me and his strong hands began to work out the knots of pain
in my temples.

Sam turned to his
computer, tapping keys and frowning at the tracery of lines on the
screen. “Fascinating,” he murmured. “What were you decrypting in
this session?”

“Just some tedious,
useless emails, as far as I can figure out,” I griped. “There’s no
way to tell whether something’s important or not unless we actually
have some other evidence that comes in from other sources. I end up
wasting a lot of time.”

“But you were actually
reading those emails in real time. Encrypted emails that are
completely uncrackable, as far as anybody else in the world knows.”
Sam’s eyes were alight with excitement. “This is fabulous. This is
better than I’d ever dreamed.” He turned back to his screen,
scrolling through data.

After a couple of
minutes of watching his intent profile, I spoke up. “Do you still
need me?”

He started as if he’d
forgotten there was anyone else in the room. “Oh! No, you can go.
Thank you. I have enough here to keep me interested for a
while.”

“Great.” I jumped up
and hurried for the door.

When the time-delayed
door finally released, I clamped down on the urge to leap into the
lobby flailing and shrieking. I took a few steps and stood staring
into middle distance, controlling my breathing. Slow and steady.
Ocean waves.

After a few breaths, I
shook myself and refocused on my surroundings, grateful that Spider
and Kane knew me well enough to let me have some time. I
surreptitiously wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans as I turned to
face them.

“Are you okay?”
Spider’s expression was troubled.

“Yeah, fine.” I
ignored Kane’s skeptically raised eyebrow. “So I guess we might as
well go up to the office and get on with some more work.”

Kane frowned. “Do you
need a break first?”

“No, I’m fine as long
as I’m above ground.” I rolled my neck and shoulders, trying to
ease their aching tension as I headed for the stairs.

In the upstairs
corridor, Stemp emerged from his office as we reached the door to
mine.

“How did it go?” he
inquired, his flat gaze dissecting me.

“Fine,” I snapped.

Kane spoke
simultaneously. “Not well.”

Stemp looked from
Kane’s frown to my face. “Which is it?”

“Not well,” Kane
repeated forcefully. He skewered me with a look as I opened my
mouth. “Unless you consider it fine to nearly shoot your way out of
the secured facility.”

“I didn’t!”
Indignation made me loud. “I never even drew…”

“I saw you go for your
gun,” Kane overrode me. “You didn’t draw it, but you were ready
to.”

I glared at him, and
Stemp broke the short silence. “Good.”

“What?” Spider
yelped.

Stemp gave him a cool
stare. “Those are the kind of reflexes I want to see.” He turned
his impassive face back to me. “Always be ready to draw your
weapon. Always be ready to shoot if necessary. Good work.” He
turned and strode back into his office, closing the door behind
him.

I gawped down the
hallway after him before turning to face Spider’s open mouth and
Kane’s thoughtful expression. “Did I just get congratulated for
almost shooting the good guys?”

Kane’s laugh lines
crinkled. “Not exactly. You got congratulated for being on your
toes. And he’s right. It’s your responsibility to protect yourself.
I wish it wasn’t that way, but you have to trust your
instincts.”

I groaned and thudded
my forehead against the door jamb. “I hate my life.”

“Lunch time.”

I gratefully stretched
my aching avatar inside the sim when Spider’s voice spoke from
above the virtual ceiling, and made my way to the exit portal. As
usual, my gratitude evaporated when the pain drilled through my
eyeballs into my brain.

“Aydan, stop!” Strong
hands closed around my head, and I let out the growl I’d been
trying to hold back. The grip didn’t loosen, and I clenched my
fists and rode out the remainder of the pain with my eyes squeezed
shut.

When I was sure my
eyeballs would stay in my skull of their own accord, I squinted
cautiously into the face of Santa Claus, inches away. I recoiled
with a yelp, and he drew back quickly.

I reached up to unwrap
Kane’s hands from my head. “You can let go now.”

He frowned down at me.
“That was worse than usual. You were beating your head against the
couch.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed the
remainder of the knots out of my forehead. “Just the extra stress,
I guess.” I rose slowly and cocked an eyebrow at Sam. “Did you need
something else from me?”

“No, I was just
testing your responses. You really can’t hear or feel anything when
you’re in the network, can you?”

“No…” I eyed him
mistrustfully. “Testing my responses how?”

“I tried to stop him.”
Spider’s face was flushed, and his hand clenched and opened as he
turned a scowl on Sam. “If you’d pulled her out of the
network…”

“But I didn’t,” Sam
countered. He turned back to me and spoke reassuringly. “I was very
careful. Your young friend here briefed me on what your reactions
have been. I just shouted your name and patted your face. That
hasn’t been enough to wake you in the past, and it wasn’t this
time, either.”

“Maybe not,” Kane
grated. “But if it had been… You obviously don’t understand the
kind of agony Aydan goes through if that happens.”

Comprehension oozed
into my aching brain and I eyed Kane. “Oh, so that’s where you went
so fast. You left the network as soon as he started shouting.”

“Yes.” Kane and Spider
hovered protectively, one on either side of me as we faced Sam.
Spider still looked angry, and Kane’s eyes were hard in his
impassive cop face.

With the twinkle gone
from his eyes, Sam didn’t look so much like Santa Claus anymore.
“Well…” He took a step back. “That’s all I needed anyway. I’ll go
back to my lab now.” He turned and hurried out, and I blew out a
long breath.

“Spider, could you
please signal me if anybody even comes near my physical body while
I’m in the network? This is just too creepy for me.”

“I will. I’m sorry, I
should have.”

“No, it’s okay,
Spider, I know you were watching out for me, and thanks. But I
just…” I failed to hide a whole-body shudder. “It’s just… like…
finding out you’ve been naked and unconscious in the middle of a
shopping mall. You don’t know who’s been looking at you, who’s been
touching you, what they’ve done…”

“That won’t happen.
Nobody will do anything to you.” Kane’s voice was edged. “Webb,
from now on, our standard operating procedure will be that you
signal Aydan and bring me out of the network the instant anybody
else enters the room. No exceptions.”

“Even Stemp?” Spider
questioned.

“Especially Stemp,” I
said.

“And Kraus,” Kane
added. “From here on in, we get a full description of everything he
plans to do, in advance. Aydan approves it before we go in. If he
deviates the slightest bit from the plan, you signal Aydan and wake
me immediately.”

“Got it,” Spider
agreed, looking relieved.

“Thanks, you guys.” I
gave them both a grateful smile. “You have no idea how much it
means to me to have you watching out for me.”

Spider turned pink.
“You’re welcome.”

“You’re welcome,” Kane
rumbled agreement. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Yes, I’m due over the
Greenhorn Cafe at one. Actually, I think I’ll head over there for
lunch and just stay.” I made for the door, feeling the tension
leaking out of my shoulders. A couple of hours of sane, normal,
non-spy-related bookkeeping was exactly what I needed right now.
Thank God for my real life.

My feet dragged to a
halt when it occurred to me that this top-secret, dangerous life
was actually my real life now. Except for a few short hours a week
when I escaped to my civilian bookkeeping clients, I spent
virtually all my time at Sirius.

The thought formed a
cold lump in my stomach.

The next morning, I
managed a slightly more optimistic outlook. An afternoon and
evening away from Sirius Dynamics had helped a lot. And I only had
to spend a couple of hours there this morning, before seeing my two
favourite civilian bookkeeping clients. I was actually whistling
when I strode down the hall to my office.

The tune dwindled into
silence when I surveyed its occupants. Kane and Spider were looking
grim. Sam Kraus was looking eager. Bad combination.

“What?” I
demanded.

Sam’s smile faltered.
“I’m sorry, Aydan, I need you downstairs again this morning.”

“Oh. Shit.”

He looked taken aback,
and I mumbled, “Sorry,” without much sincerity.

“It’s all right.” His
smile returned, sympathetic this time. “I’m so excited about this,
I keep forgetting how hard it is for you. I’ll try to keep it short
this morning.”

“Thanks.”

I was turning to go
when Kane’s voice stopped me. “Wait.” I turned to face his hard
grey eyes. I tamped down my instant defensive reaction when I
realized he was looking at Sam, not me.

“First, you’ll go over
everything you plan to do with Aydan this morning,” he
commanded.

“Oh…” Sam’s ruddy face
paled slightly as he sized up Kane’s six-foot-four height and
massive upper body. I held back a snicker. Yeah, it sure was nice
to have Kane on my side. Though I’d rather have him on my front… I
jerked my dirty mind to heel in time to catch Sam’s hurried
explanation.

“I just want to run
some tests. Nothing unusual, you don’t even have to be in the
network.” As Kane’s gaze continued to bore into him, he fingered
his beard nervously and continued, “I’ll just put the electrodes on
your forehead again and ask you to do some mind exercises.”

Relief seeped into my
taut shoulders. “Oh, like the ones you used to give me when you
came to the house.”

“Uh… yes… I didn’t
realize you remembered those.”

“Of course, why
wouldn’t I? You did them three times a year for what, twelve
years?”

Sam finger-combed his
beard with what seemed like unnecessary vigour. “Most people
didn’t-” He clammed up and stroked his moustache.

“Aydan, is that all
right with you?” Kane inquired.

“Fine, no problem.
Let’s get it over with.”

Down in Sam’s lab,
Kane appraised my shaking hands. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” I assured him
a little breathlessly. I drew in a deep breath and let it out
slowly. Then did it again. Ocean waves. “It’s actually a bit better
today.”

He scowled at me.
“You’re a lousy liar.”

“Thanks. Speaking of
which, have you come up with new ideas about my cover?”