That's a Promise (27 page)

He was holding back again. I had always felt like he held back with me, but not with other girls. He never let me give him head, and he never went fast or hard with me. He was always slow and reserved. It was nice and beautiful, but I couldn’t help but think of Blake and how different he was with me.

Shaking my head of those thoughts, I focused on Seth and what he was making my body feel. He leaned his forehead against mine, and closed his eyes as our bodies slow danced together. I started getting anxious while our bodies moved. I don’t know why I was plagued with guilt, but I was. I felt like I was betraying Blake by being with Seth, even though Blake was the one who didn’t want to make the relationship work.

Blake made love to me a lot differently than Seth. Blake wasn’t afraid to be a little rough and in control, whereas Seth was gentle. Blake could be gentle, but it was different than what I was feeling in that moment. With Seth, it was amazing. With Blake, it was mind blowing.

Oh, my god! I have to stop thinking about Blake. You weren’t good enough for him. Focus on Seth. Focus on what he is doing inside of me… okay… yesss…

As I let myself get lost in his movement and the sensations I started to feel the pressure building inside of me. He slowly brought me to an orgasm and I cried his name into his mouth as I clenched around him. His movements started to get jerky, and he let out one last groan before collapsing on the other side of me. He gathered me into his arms and held me close.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, Seth tracing patterns down my arm and running his hand through my hair. We enjoyed being close to each other. I needed to feel close to someone, but I didn’t like how guilty I felt.

“You should let me draw you a design for a tattoo,” Seth said quietly.

“I want a floating lantern,” I said back to him. It was something I had been thinking about for a while.

“I could come up with something awesome for a lantern. Right here,” he traced a space around my shoulder blade.  “Why a lantern?” I thought about my answer before I told him, not wanting to give too much away.

“You ever feel like you’re reaching for something that is so close to being within your grasp, but you can’t quite get it?” He covered his face in my hair, and breathed in deeply.

“All the time,” he whispered.

“I want that light. The light that makes me happy and calm, but it’s out of my grasp. Sometimes, I feel like I’m reaching for something that is only meant to float away,” I shrugged at the end of my explanation.

“I know how you feel.” He kissed my shoulder, and we laid there for a while before drifting off to sleep.

*             *             *

“You should let me take pictures of us together,” Seth said into my neck in between kisses. We had been spending almost every day together, and our days left were dwindling. This was going to be the last time we were together before we went back to school. I had gotten to the point where I could ignore my guilt, and focus on having fun and the attention that Seth was giving me.

I was shocked by his request, because I knew he wasn’t referring to photos of us in clothes. “What?”

“I think we should take pictures of us together. I will position the cameras so they won’t get your face or see your body parts. I could make it extremely sexy, Jos,” he said, excitement in his eyes.

“Will anyone see it?” I asked with trepidation.

“Not unless you want them to. But it wouldn’t be like anyone could tell it was you. I won’t let anything distinguishable show, and it will be in black and white, so no one could pick out your distinct features,” he said, tracing my skin.

If no one would see it, then it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. And I had seen some of his work, he really could get an angle that wouldn’t show any of my features, and still be sexy. Maybe it was my sense of adventure, or maybe it was my curiosity, but I couldn’t really think of anything bad that would happen if I agreed.

“Ok,” I said, and smiled at his almost childlike grin.

“Great, let me set them up real quick.” He gave me a quick kiss, and hopped off of me. I enjoyed watching his concentration while setting up his two cameras, and most certainly enjoyed the view of his half naked body hard at work.

I walked to his bathroom, and brushed my hair that had gotten tangled while making out with Seth all day. I never wore too much make-up, so I wasn’t worried about that, not that it mattered because my face wasn’t going to be in the pictures. I gave myself a once over, and then was startled by manly tattooed arms wrapping around me. Seth looked at me in the mirror, and leaned down to my ear.

“You are gorgeous, as always, Josie.” He turned me around and brought his lips to mine. He kissed me slowly, and I could feel myself getting heated. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bed. I was a little embarrassed when he started undressing us, unable to believe that I agreed to do something so risqué. He positioned me in a particular way, and went back to his cameras to make sure his shot was right and to set up timers on them.

“Okay, don’t think about the cameras,” he said, coming back to me. He started sucking on my neck as his hands roamed my thighs, stomach, and then my chest. I tried to ignore the cameras and focused on his tongue and mouth on me.

Click.
He brought one of my breasts into his mouth and sucked on my hard nipple. His tongue always knew how to make my body feel good.
Click.
I moved my hands into his shaggy sandy blonde hair, and arched my back, needing more of him.
Click.
Seth aligned his chest with mine, and went back to assault my neck as I moved my hands to rub his shoulders and arms. 
Click.
His other hand that wasn’t fondling my breast, moved its way in between my legs, and rubbed me. I gasped at the feeling of increased pressure on my clit.
Click.
His fingers really were magical. It didn’t take me long before both the pressure of his mouth on my neck and breasts and the rubbing of his fingers against me, made me come.
Click.

“So sexy,”
he whispered, before putting on the condom he had ready on the bed.

His eyes were hooded with desire. He positioned himself in front of me and moved my long hair in a way that covered my breasts.
Click.
He eased inside of me gently, and then pulled back out fast.
Click.
He teased me like that for a while, as I whimpered with need. I decided to sit up and grab onto his back, nearly clawing him to finally give me what I needed. I started to raise my hips to his at a better rhythm, loving the small whimper that came out of his mouth.
Click.

“I need more, Seth,” I said. He wasn’t giving me everything, and even though I didn’t think it would change, I tried to convince him to go faster and harder. He was still gentle, but he didn’t pull out all the way anymore. I finally was getting filled with him, and I let myself get lost in the feel of his cock buried deep inside my throbbing pussy.
Click.

He watched me as I leaned my head back enjoying his pounding dick inside of me. I wanted more. I wanted to go my pace, so I pushed him back a little, and got out from under him.

“I want to ride you,” I said to him.
Click.
He leaned back taking me in as I climbed on top of him. He moved my hair again so it covered my profile, and then moaned as I started to move against him. It felt so good to let myself control the pace. I wasn’t afraid to go fast on him, and I took full advantage of it. He placed his hands on my hips to hold me, and I kept my hands on his chest to hold me up.
Click.

I worked myself up, hitting exactly where I needed more pressure, and felt myself getting more anxious to relieve it.
Click.
I jerked a few times on him really hard, and then scratched his chest, leaned my head back, letting my hair cascade down my back, and let out a loud cry as my womb clenched with its release.
Click.
I felt Seth raise his hips up to mine quickly, and felt his hands move up to my face. He looked at me intently as he jerked inside of me, finding his release. The look we gave each other was one of pure satisfaction and longing. My Seth. My best friend, and the person who has always been there for me. He looked like perfection in that moment.
Click.

He closed his eyes and let out a moan and said, “Oh god, Jos. I love you so much.” It was muffled as he said it, but I heard him, and got off of him. I laid back on the bed and closed my eyes in thought.

He meant it as a friend. Nothing more. He had his chance! I fell in love with someone else! I don’t want to risk getting hurt again.
I heard Seth get up, and turn off the cameras. I kept my eyes closed, not ready to face him yet.

“I gotta go help Dad with some paperwork before I leave tomorrow. I’ll see you there okay?” He sounded a little timid as he spoke, and I felt guilty for not saying anything. I felt him come over to me and kiss my forehead. “You’re my best friend, Jos. These past couple of weeks have been amazing, but everything has to go back to normal tomorrow, okay?”

He didn’t love me like that… That’s good…,
I thought, knowing I didn’t want to let those old feelings come back.
I opened my eyes and smiled. “Yeah, everything will go back to normal. I’ll see you there.” He patted my head, smiled, and walked out the door. I wasn’t hurt this time. I wasn’t sad. Nothing was left unsaid. In fact, I felt a little relieved. I would go back to school, focus on graduating, and try my damnedest not to think about Seth and Blake and the preposterous feeling of guilt I had been feeling.

Chapter 25

Brooke and I had decided earlier in the summer to split rent for an apartment near NCSU, instead of applying for dorm residency. She had access to money through her parents, and they wouldn’t let her live in anything dumpy. So, that’s how I ended up renting an apartment with Brooke during my senior year, with peanuts as rent.

I had packed up my car the day before, so all I had to do was say a goodbye to my dads, and leave. I threw on some yoga pants and a green V-neck t-shirt, no make-up, and kept my hair in a big blob on the top of my head. Brooke called me while I was on my way to tell me that she was already there and was making Brandon help her unpack and bring up furniture.

I pulled up to Legend Cary Towne Apartments, and was shocked by how nice they were. I managed to find my way around to the apartment that Brooke and I would be staying in, and was even more shocked when I got a look inside. My dingy brown box looked completely out of place in this space.

Brooke ran out of what I assumed was her room, and came hurtling towards me. She wrapped me in a big hug, and let out a small squeal of excitement. We hopped around in a circle holding each other’s hands like girly teenagers would do.

“I am
so
excited Josie! I missed you! Roomies again in an awesome place,” she said, barely containing her excitement. I was just as happy, and laughed with her.

“Missed you too. This place is a freaking palace!”

“Comes with some furniture too. But I made Brandon bring a few extra things for us,” she said, her smile never faltering on her perfect face. She grabbed my hand in her dainty hands, and pulled me to the other end of the apartment. “This will be your room. You told me you’re scared of heights, so I took the liberty of taking the room with the balcony.” I laughed.

“Thanks. That would have been a nightmare,” I said honestly.

“Yeah well, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your best friends,” she said with a shrug. We laughed for a couple minutes before she went back to unpacking her things. I took a moment to look around my room, and fell in love. It was simple in white, but luxurious at the same time. My bed looked like a cloud, and I couldn’t wait to sleep in it.

I went to my door to walk out, but was blocked by Brandon carrying in an end of some piece of large furniture.

“Whoa, sweetheart. Didn’t think you would be here until later,” he said with a strained smile. He was sweating, and had a big chunk of his dark brown hair in his eyes. I moved out of the way so he could come the rest of the way inside the room.

“Yeah, I decided to get a head start. Good-,” I stopped short when I saw who was carrying the other end of the furniture. He seemed to be even more handsome now than he did three months ago. I couldn’t breathe as I took him in. He was wearing some dark designer jeans, and had his button down shirt open to reveal a white fitted undershirt. It looked like he had been working out more, because his muscles seemed to strain in his shirt. His hair was still cropped short, and his eyes were as intense as ever, but the intensity was softened when I got a look at the smile on his beautiful full lips. His eyes travelled up my body, and I could feel myself get heated in every spot his eyes touched.

“Let’s get this down and then you two can continue your eye fucking later,” Brandon said breathing hard from exertion. Blake’s eyes looked into mine for a moment longer, before they continued into the room to set up the item I had not yet taken much notice to.

They laid it up against the wall, and I finally noticed the beautiful piece of furniture. It was a white painted over mahogany bookcase that had French detailing carved into the front of the piece. It took my breath away as I stared at it. I ran my hand over the carvings loving every small handmade detail that was added to it, making it look like a piece of art.

“Oh my god, this is beautiful,” I whispered. I was entranced by its beauty, and could picture all of my books looking like royalty on its shelves.

“Isn’t it just gorgeous,” Brooke said, walking into the room with a smile. I grinned at her, and nodded.

“You shouldn’t have gotten this for me. It’s too much. I’m already living here for practically nothing,” I said to her. I didn’t want to give it up, but it was too much to keep it. She smiled at me.

“
I
didn’t get it, darlin’,” she said in a sing song voice. I knitted my brows in confusion, because I didn’t know who else would have gotten it.