That's a Promise (26 page)

“We should get going,” he said finally. He turned and walked to his car, and I followed, feeling dejected. I leaned back in the seat in his truck, and kept my eyes closed as he drove me back home.

“Josie,” he said and grabbed my hand. “I don’t know what just happened, but I love you too much as a friend to do anything like that.” It was probably meant to make me feel better, but it didn’t help. I had never wanted anyone like that before, and I was confused. I just nodded, and kept my eyes closed. When he got to my house, I immediately exited the truck without saying anything. I heard him follow me, but I didn’t think I could handle facing him, so I wouldn’t look at him.

“Hey!” he said to me trying to get my attention. He increased his steps so he could stand between me and the door. “Josie, what the hell is wrong? I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what came over me; I shouldn’t have touched you, but please don’t be mad at me,” he pleaded with me.

I looked up at him then. He thought I was upset with him for touching me, which shocked and relieved me. I gathered every ounce of confidence I had, and walked up to him, looking into his gorgeous eyes.

“I wanted you to touch me, Seth. I need you to touch me. I need to feel wanted. Please just for one time, make me feel wanted,” I said boldly. His eyes widened at what I asked him, and he ran a hand through his hair.

“Jos…,” he said, walking closer to me. “You know what this could do? It could change everything,” he said trying to get me to understand.

“I understand Seth,” I said. “Please do this for me. Just this once,” I pleaded. He came even closer and cupped my face in his hands. We were both breathing hard, and the closeness of our mouths exhilarated me.

“Okay, Josie,” he said breathily, after a couple of agonizing minutes. He then preceeded to give me the best kiss of my life.

He brought his mouth down to mine, and gently kissed the corner of my mouth. My mouth parted from the thrill it sent right to my core. I moved myself even closer, and put my hands in his hair. I heard him groan before he fully covered my mouth with his. We were so hungry to be more than just friends. I couldn’t get enough of his mouth and tongue. The way he sucked on my tongue and lips, was like something out of a book.

I started roaming my hands over his body and couldn’t believe that I had never noticed how sexy he was. He had always been the little boy who called me a sissy on the playground, and the one who told me he wouldn’t be able to be with just one girl the rest of his life when I asked him to play pretend wedding.  Now he was this strong man who was making my body feel things that I had never experienced.

He pulled back, and looked at me, his chest heaving from heavy breathing. “We should go somewhere else,” he said softly, eyes filled with longing. I nodded to him, equally eager to continue.

“My parents are gone for the weekend…,” I said, letting my implication sink in. He understood, because he pulled me through the door, and locked it behind us instantly. He grabbed me again and kissed me hard before picking me up and making me wrap my legs around his waist. He carried me up the stairs as I licked the side of his neck. His little moans and groans as my tongue played with his skin, made me want him even more. He took me into my room and laid me down on my bed gently.

That’s how Seth and I started our summer fling. I tried to keep my emotions out of the relationship, but the more intimate we got, the more I found myself wishing we weren’t just friends fulfilling my request to feel wanted. We hid it from our parents, and we hid it from our friends. When Brooke started hanging out with us, she thought she noticed a connection, but we always denied it. It was hard to deny anything when his hand was always rubbing the inside of my thigh under the table. I assumed Seth didn’t want to come out with our relationship, so I stayed silent on the issue.

When there were only a few more weeks before we both left to go to school, I knew I had to tell him that I was starting to feel differently for him. I was nervous, not knowing how he would respond and not knowing if he reciprocated my feelings.

After a week away on vacation to the Outer Banks, I was ready to come home and see Seth. I texted him as soon as I was back in town, and he told me to meet him at some get together he was having at his house. A bon fire with his friends wasn’t my ideal choice to tell him I was falling for him, but I couldn’t wait any longer.

When I got to his house, the party was in full swing. Country music was blaring on a boom box someone put in the back of their truck. I couldn’t see Seth in the mass of people that had come, so I started asking people if they had seen him. They pointed me towards the barn. I couldn’t think of a reason he would be in there, but I went anyway. At least it would be a lot quieter.

I walked through the entrance of the barn, and saw a light on and George’s office door open. When I looked into the office, I saw something that made me want to throw up. I went there to tell Seth I was falling in love with him, but found him leaning against the desk, eyes closed, and head back, getting head from some girl. I couldn’t help but stare at them, wishing it wasn’t true. I watched him put his hand on her head and force her to take more of him. I was sickened, and I couldn’t stop staring!

I heard a horse kick his leg, and I was jolted back to reality. I turned and walked away as quickly as I could.
I hope she chokes,
I thought. I took a deep breath of the night air, and willed myself not to have a panic attack. We weren’t anything but friends. I had no reason to be upset, but the fact that I would never get the chance to tell him how I felt sucked.  

I walked to my car, and sat in it for a few minutes. My phone chirped after about five minutes, and I looked at the screen and groaned.

Seth: Hey kitty kitty… where are you?

I didn’t know if I should lie or tell him the truth. I opted for the truth. Better to get it out of the way now.

Me: Hey, I’m in my car.

Seth: K. Stay there. I want to talk to you about something.

Another groan escaped my mouth, as I banged my head against the headrest. This was going to be extremely awkward. I got out, and leaned against my car wishing that the night would just end.

Seth walked up to me with a huge grin displayed on his face.

Yeah, I bet you are happy, aren’t you Seth?
I thought, inwardly rolling my eyes.

“Hey, gorgeous. I missed you!” he said and hugged me.
Sure you did,
I couldn’t help myself from thinking bitterly.

“Missed you too, Seth. What’s up?”

“You first. You told me you wanted to tell me something,” he said, and leaned against the car. I mentally debated what I should tell him, and opted for a lie.
Not like I’m hurting anyone,
I reasoned.

“Oh it’s nothing, just got a new book I am excited about reading,” I said with a shrug, scratching my nose lightly. He narrowed his eyes at my hand, but didn’t call me out on my lie. “What about you? What do you need to tell me?”

“Um… I kind of wanted to talk about you and me and what we’re doing…” he said, and scratched the back of his neck.

“What about it, Seth?”

“Well… it’s just that… Well, I think that with us going to school soon, I thought that maybe we should stop doing it,” he finally sputtered out. It was for the best, but I still felt rejected. Like I hadn’t quite lived up to what he wanted. He grabbed my chin that I had been clenching, and made me look at him. “Hey, you’re my best friend, Josie. I just thought that you deserve to go to college and meet other guys without feeling like you owe me anything. I’ve loved every second with you. I’m just hoping this makes it easier for you,” he said trying to reassure me.

I pulled out of his grasp, laughed, and shoved him away.

“I never felt like I owed you anything, Seth,” I said with a fake smile. “I would have had you and all the boys falling at my feet in a couple weeks anyway. Now it’s only one less.” He laughed, but I could tell there was some hesitance in his laugh. He almost looked a little disappointed, but I didn’t understand why he would feel that way.

We went our separate ways, and that was the end of our summer together. We slipped back into our friendship easily, but on the inside I had to keep reminding myself that he never saw me as anything but a friend. That was my motivation to move on. I always held hope that there might be someone at college who would live up to my expectations.

Chapter 24

Summer 3 years earlier

He stood against the barn staring at me with his mouth slightly parted in shock. He sank to the grass, put his head in his hands, and groaned. I started fidgeting, not knowing what to do. I was too bold. I was expecting too much out of him, and now I was humiliated.

“Why are you asking now?” he asked me. I didn’t really know how to answer that question, or why he asked.

“Um… I mean… never mind, Seth. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m so sorry.” I started to walk away, thoroughly mortified, but the sound of Seth’s voice stopped me. He had moved from his spot on the ground, and walked up to me.

“I’m asking because I need to know if this is something temporary, just something for you to do to get over Blake, or if you want something more.” He looked at me intently and I could feel the importance of my answer in his tone.

“I promise it’s just temporary, Seth. I’m just feeling extremely lonely, and well, I have some needs I need to take care of…,” I trailed off at the end of my sentence, and looked away. I couldn’t believe I just said that.

I had gotten over Seth this past year, and I knew it wasn’t an option to be anything more, because he wanted to be just friends. I hoped that he trusted that I wouldn’t fall for him again. Not that he ever knew about the first time.

He seemed to think about it for a minute before he stepped closer to me and grinned slowly.

“You sure? Because when I kiss you again, there’s no way I will want to stop. Got that?” He grabbed my waist, and pushed me towards the wall of the barn. He leaned over me and waited for my answer.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I said softly.

He didn’t need any more convincing, and he claimed my mouth right there in the open. His lips pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, and he sucked on it forcefully. He bit it and then soothed it with his tongue. Seth always knew how to kiss me like no one else, making me weak in the knees for him. He grinded his hips into mine, soliciting a moan out of me. He seemed to like the encouragement, and trailed his hand up my back to grab a fist full of my long hair. He yanked it a little so he could get better access into my mouth, and I shivered. I ran my hands over his bare chest, loving how smooth he was. I tugged lightly on the piercing on one of his nipples, enjoying the moan he let into my mouth. I liked the way he reacted, so I brought my mouth down and sucked the cold metal of his piercing into my mouth, loving how the cold felt against my hot needy mouth. He practically growled, and picked me up. I felt his hard cock pressing into my sensitive and neglected sweet spot, making me buck my hips against his in need of more pressure.

I gasped, relishing in the thrill, and started panting in longing. Seth started taking me towards his dad’s office, but I pulled away from his mouth to stop him.

“No. Not there. Take me back to your room,” I said, trying to catch my breath. Seth lived in the converted upstairs in the garage. We wouldn’t have to worry about any interruptions up there. Not to mention, I didn’t want to go in the office for reasons Seth didn’t know about. He nodded, and carried me straight to his room, our hunger for each other increasing in every step that he took. It was messy as was the usual for Seth, but it didn’t matter, because I was only focused on one thing. Seth. Sex with Seth.

He took off his shirt, and I watched him, admiring the view. I started to slowly unbutton my top, loving the way Seth’s eyes narrowed and darkened. When I got it off, he got down on his knees and kissed my stomach up to the bottom of my bra.

“You have the sexiest skin, Jos,” he said, making my chest rumble as he spoke against me. His hands trailed where his mouth left kisses, and felt goose bumps travel up my arm. His hands finally went to the back of my bra and took it off. He took his time kneading and sucking on my breasts, working me up until I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled away, and attempted to pull him up.

“I need you…,” I said to him. I started unbuttoning my jeans and shimmied them down my short tanned legs. He made me stop before I pulled down my underwear, making me sit on the bed while he took off his jeans and boxers.  His cock sprung out, and I felt my mouth water as I took in this beautiful naked man. He had gotten a couple more tattoos, and I couldn’t wait to trace them with my tongue later. He traced his hands up my thighs until he reached the top of my panties.

“Nothing better than undressing you,” he said with a small smirk, tugging my panties down my legs. He took them off with much more ease than I would have thought possible, but then again, it
was
Seth I was talking about.

He took two of his fingers and traced the inside of my lower lips. He parted them, and ran them through the wet excitement that had gathered down there. He closed his eyes briefly, and then brought his fingers to his mouth.

“Oh my god, Seth…,” I moaned as I watched him enjoy my juices. He smiled, and gathered some more and put them to my lips. I pulled his fingers into my mouth and sucked them clean, enjoying the sounds he made as I did it. He pulled them out of my mouth and pulled open the drawer in his nightstand, to grab a condom. I didn’t tell him it was okay to go without one, which should have been a clear indicator as to the difference in how I felt with Blake than how I did with Seth, but one I ignored.

He slid on the condom with ease, and kissed me passionately before sliding into my tight entrance. It had been a while so it hurt a little at first, but once he hit the right spot, the pain was gone. He moved slowly inside of me and I brought my hips up to meet his at each thrust. He continued to kiss me, each of our tongues searching for more of each other with each movement.