The Amish Doll: Amish Knitting Novel (Bonus Knitting Pattern Included) (5 page)

~*~

A few days later, Raven had another home visit to make at Joshua’s Aunt Hannah’s house. Susanna had told her of the burden she had for the boys and now she and her husband wanted to be foster parents as well. Then she would interview the Millers, Lottie’s parents. If they were anything like her, they wouldn’t qualify. If she stopped dating Joshua because his time was spent taking care of Susanna, then they didn’t have the hearts to be foster parents. 

Raven thought of all the foster families she’d had. Lucky to never suffer abuse in a foster home and maybe there was a God who had been looking out for her. The more she read the Bible, she felt like Jesus cared. She’d been in so many Sunday Schools, but the song, “Jesus Loves Me” was sung in them all. Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…Maybe it was true?

As she pulled up to Hannah’s house, she remembered Joshua taking her here for ice cream, and warmth filled her heart. Raven went up the front steps and knocked. The blue curtains in the two large windows on either side of the door shook and swayed. Soon several small children were smiling at her and waving. The door opened and Hannah smiled. “The children aren’t used to anyone knocking on the front door. We Amish use the backdoor.” She motioned for Raven to come in. “Would you like some coffee to warm you up? The juncos have their feathers fluffed out, so the temperature’s going down.”

Raven knew a junco was also called a snowbird. She noticed how the Amish were so connected to nature, as were Native Americans. “I’d love some coffee. Thank you.” She looked at the sparsely furnished living room, so similar to the Yoder’s. When they went into the kitchen, she was surprised to see the long table with matching china closet. It was just like Susanna’s. She mentioned the similarity to Hannah.

“Oh, the same man made them,” she said.

“He’s a good craftsman. What’s his name?”

Hannah’s eyes darkened. “He lives next to Susanna. Eb. Made the furniture ages ago.” She put a cup of coffee on the table and motioned for Raven to sit down. “My husband will be in shortly. Harvest time is so busy.”

Raven ran her fingers over the fine oak grain of the table. Eb was a master carpenter. He was a shunned man, and from what she’d been reading about the Amish, he was not to be spoken to,
so he’d repent. But she could talk about him, she supposed. “Eb helped me milk the cow the other night.  He’s very nice.”

“He was at my sister’s house?” Hannah’s eyes were round as saucers.

“I drove your sister to the hospital and told Joshua I’d milk the cow, but I had a problem. Eb helped me.”

Hannah nodded. “Would you like some doughnuts? I made them this morning.”

She put her hand up. “I stopped by to visit Susanna yesterday and had some oatmeal cookies Joshua made. I need to watch my figure.”

“My sister is blessed to have such a son. I do worry, though. He’s twenty-four and not married.”

Raven gasped. “I’m twenty-four and not married, too. The Amish get married young compared to the English, as you call us. Joshua’s young.”

“Lottie Miller’s the one for him,” she said. “When my sister’s better, I’m sure they’ll court again.” Hannah’s eyes mellowed. “Lottie’s a dear girl.”

“Self-absorbed, I’d say,” Raven said without thinking. She cupped her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. I should keep my opinions to myself. “

Hannah tilted her head to one side. “You don’t know Lottie. What makes you say such a thing?”

“She stopped dating Joshua because he didn’t give her enough attention. Doesn’t she realize how ill Susanna is?”

“My nephew told you something so personal? Was it part of his interview for the foster program?”

“He told me when we came over for ice cream, when I first met you.”

Raven saw coldness in Hannah’s eyes. “Amish men aren’t supposed to share such things with…”

“…Outsiders?” Raven finished. “We ‘Outsiders’ can learn a lot from you Amish. I know I have. Joshua’s been a great friend to me in a difficult time.” She was glad when a tall, lanky man with a black beard came into the kitchen. 

“Hello there, I’m Hannah’s husband, David. You’re the social worker,
jah
?”

Raven looked up and smiled. “Yes, I’m Raven Meadows. Nice to meet you, David.”

She went through the necessary questions and their answers were sufficient. They wanted to be foster homes because Susanna told them there was a shortage of them. That was true. Many foster children now lived in group homes. They had the resources and their children all looked happy and healthy. Everything was fine, except Hannah now acted distant. Her husband asked his wife if something was wrong, but she dodged the question with a huff. How could a woman who appeared to be warm suddenly turn so cold?

Raven wrapped up the interview and said good-bye to all the smiling children. The young ones only spoke German. She’d had German in college and tried to converse, and they laughed. She laughed, too. “I have a bad accent, huh?” she asked, turning to David.

“
Jah
, you do,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

             
Joshua bit into an oatmeal whoopie pie. Since his mom started dialysis he was home alone more, and had time to think…of Raven. He felt so drawn to her, but it was an impossible situation. Maybe he had been too hard on Lottie. Women needed to feel loved, just like a plant needed water. He thought back to the last church service. After the meal, she’d made it clear from her body language and encouraging tone she wanted to court again. But she lacked the depth Raven had.  Raven had a hard life, yet doted on the boys, when deep down, she was hurting. No one was doting on Raven. He was more than willing to, but it was like taking the forbidden fruit.

              He thought of Lawrence Turner. A bachelor who needed a wife. Raven said she was going to his church with the boys. When he drove past the Ellington Town Square during the Fall Festival, he saw them together, eating cotton candy and laughing. Joshua sighed. He was jealous. Lawrence had come over to visit Eb yesterday when Raven was over to gather more papers. He saw them meet in the yard to talk and could see Lawrence was attracted to her. How could he not be? She was beautiful not only to look at, but her heart and spirit touched him.

He shook his head. What was he thinking? Maybe if he courted Lottie again he’d see what he first saw in her. Maybe he was drawn toward Raven because of loneliness. Joshua bowed his head and said a silent prayer.

~*~

Raven tried to be nice to Lottie, but the girl was annoying, being too soft spoken and prissy.  If a stray hair fell out from under her prayer
kapp
, she’d quickly conceal it again, gently tucking it in. She was petite and looked too fragile to do farm chores. Most likely, she spent her days quilting or knitting, never bothering to visit the sick woman who lived down the road, not helping Joshua with the messy things that came with caring for his mom.

Lottie put a piece of apple pie in front of her “I just warmed it up for you. I hope you enjoy it.”

What could she say?  She jogged to stay fit. With the threat of snow a foot deep on Halloween, as the boys claimed, she knew her jogging days were limited. “Thank you,” she found herself saying against her will, and took a bite. Too sweet, just like the maker.

Soon Lottie’s parents came into the kitchen. The father was a husky, macho-type Amish man and the mother too meek. Raven greeted Eli and Mary and got through the questions as quickly as she could. She had to admit the more they talked, Mary and Eli were wonderful couple.

              But jealousy gripped her when she was around Lottie. She felt like she was in junior high. Why?  Raven said her good-byes to the three younger Miller boys and was enchanted. They wore the same style clothing as the adults, and they looked like little men. 

She got into her car and headed back to Appleton. Raven looked at the gray blanket of clouds that reached across the sky. Blackbirds by the hundreds lined telephone poles, getting ready to make their flight south. She thought of Florida, and for the first time, Brandon.  He was so shallow and she was glad she broke it off. She’d tried for a year to have a heart to heart talk, but to no avail. Blamed herself for the walls she put up, but since she met Joshua, she knew it wasn’t her.  Brandon could have listened when she mentioned anything about her past, but didn’t. Joshua did the way he pulled the words out of her by simply caring.

Raven looked at the clock. The boys wouldn’t be home for an hour. She pulled into a driveway, turned her car around and headed back to Cherry Creek. She wanted to see how Susanna was feeling, and drop off the knitting needles she’d gotten at the craft store in town ….and see Joshua.

~
*~

Joshua saw Raven’s car pull and park behind his Aunt’s Hannah’s buggy. Her sharp words were fresh on his ears. Beware of Outsiders. He grinned when he saw that Raven rapped on the side door and not the front. She was learning the Amish ways. When she entered, he could see she was freezing. Her cheeks were
read as cherries. He put on the tea kettle as he looked over at his aunt, who stared at Raven with obvious suspicion.

“Hello Joshua, Hannah,” she said. “Have I come at a bad time?”

“
Ach
, no, you’re always welcome,” Joshua said, not being able to wipe the smile from his face.

“Can I see your mom? I got her some knitting needles.”

“She’s sleeping,” Hannah said. “Had dialysis this morning and will be sleeping most of the day.”

Joshua pulled out the chair at the head of the table. “Sit down and have some hot chocolate. We finally found one we mix with hot water that’s
goot
.”

Raven sat down and looked up at him. “Is there anything that needs done? Any farm chores?”

“Are you serious?” he asked.

“I’ll send Lester and Joe over if you need help in the barn,” Hannah said. “You should have let us know.”

He didn’t need help in the barn. With his
mamm
away three times a week for dialysis, he had plenty of time on his hands. He wanted to talk to Raven and turned to her. “We could use a driver. If you’d like to help. 
Mamm
goes to the dialysis clinic in Randolph. Do you know where that is?”

Raven nodded. “I can find it. I’ll give her a knitting lesson to help pass the time.”

“Joshua, we have enough drivers already,” Hannah said, glaring. “Bruce volunteered.”

“
Mamm
would feel more comfortable with Raven.” Joshua could see she wanted Raven to leave. He turned to get a mug out of the cabinet and spied Eb at the birdhouse. He hoped his aunt wouldn’t notice, but she did.

“What is Eb up to now? He’s in your yard,” Hannah said.

“Eb’s outside?” Raven blurted. “Oh, I want to see him. Thank him for all he did for me and see how much he charges for a big oak table like yours. Appleton needs a bigger one.”

Joshua wanted to plead with her not to go. “Aren’t you staying for hot chocolate? We have left over oatmeal whoopie pies.”

She smiled at him. “I’m sorry, Joshua, I have no appetite. I’ll see you later?” she asked.

He looked deep into her green eyes. Was this some hidden message she wanted to go on a buggy ride?

~*~

When Raven shut the door, anger arose within her. Why was Hannah so protective of Joshua? He wasn’t a child. Relieved to hear Eb was outside, she had a reason to leave gracefully and
thank him for all he’d done for her. It’d been over a week and she never had time to stop by.  She ran to her car and grabbed the brown scarf.

“Hello, Eb, how are you?” she asked.  Shock registered on his face. “I’m not Amish, so I can talk to you,” she reassured him.

“I wanted to thank you for helping me when I milked the cow. And I made you this.” She put the scarf around Eb’s neck.

“Aw, my dear girl.
Danki
. Will come in handy soon.” He probed her eyes. “I’ve been thinking of you. Why were you crying so hard when milking the cow?”

She searched his expression. He was actually concerned? He called her “dear girl,” not upset he was disturbed in the middle of the night. “Milking a cow brought back some bad memories.”

“Of what, honey?”

Raven felt moisture in her eyes. “My childhood. We had a cow I used to milk and, well, it made me think of a hard time in my life.”

“It’s good to cry. I go to the bottle; I’m sure you know. Joshua yelled at me for scaring you when you first came here. Said I was drunk. Don’t remember and I’m sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she said. “You know there’s help to get off alcohol. Lots of programs. I can get you literature.”

“
Ach
, I’ve been getting help. Pastor Lawrence and I are studying the Bible. Do you read the Bible?”

Heat rose into her cheeks. “I started a few weeks ago, and I have to admit, I like it.”

“Well, I pick it up and read it when I feel the urge to reach for the bottle. It’s been working, but Lawrence insists I go to a program at a church in Jamestown. Offered to take me and all, so I started last week. It’s twelve weeks, or steps, or something like that.”

“Oh, the Twelve Steps Program.  It’s excellent.”

“So you’ve been to one?” he asked.

“I helped lead one in college. It’s something I studied and have training in.” She looked at this sweet man and the thought of him being shunned bothered her. It sounded so severe and would set back anyone going through Twelve Steps. He needed friends and family. She’d been tossed aside and Joshua was right; she wanted to make sure no one felt discarded.

“Eb, would you like to come to Appleton sometime for dinner? When you see the size of our table, maybe you can give us a quote on a large oak table, like the one you made for Hannah and Susanna.”

“I’d be happy to,” he said, eyes glistening.

~*~

The boys gathered in the living room as ordered. Raven had noticed over the past month that Cliffy hid in Chuckey’s shadow too much. When a foster home became available at Susanna’s, she was sure Joshua could help him overcome his fears. Maybe Timmy, too. Same problem, but he was a loner. Joshua did say they wanted a few boys.  Starting with two would be wiser than taking three.

She looked at the others; Ethan, Chuckey, Bud, and Toby. They all seemed fine and didn’t need extra care. If Lottie’s home became available, maybe she deserved Bud and Chuckey. She held back a grin. They’d turn her quiet, simple Amish life into fireworks. Maybe Toby and Ethan would fit in with Hannah? She nervously twisted her pen around a long piece of black hair that ran over her shoulders. Wish they could all live here together…with me…

“Where’s Mr. Rowe?” Bud asked, putting his feet up on the wooden coffee table.

“Feet down, Bud,” Raven said. “He’s driving for the Amish this morning.”

“Is he taking Mrs. Yoder to diagnostics?” Ethan asked, looking pleased with his new vocabulary word.

“It’s called dialysis, Ethan. Yes, Mr. Rowe drives her once a week and I will too.”

“We pray for her at Bible Club,” Chuckey piped in. “We’re too young to get tested to be a match.”

“Tested? For what?” Raven asked.

“To give her one of our kidneys,” Chuckey said.

Raven sat down in one of the overstuffed chairs and put her binder on her lap. “You boys were all willing to give a kidney?”

“
Ya
,” Bud said.  “We’re too young and Mr. and Mrs. Rowe are too old,” he chuckled.

“You know boys, I find this all very extraordinary. You’d all actually go through surgery to help Mrs. Yoder? You must really like her.”

Toby raised his hand. “We hardly know her.” He cleared his throat. “Pastor Lawrence got tested but he’s not a match, and he said it was the least he could do, since Jesus gave his life for us. So, we all, well, just agree with him.”

Raven put one hand over her heart. “I’m glad I came here to Appleton to meet such fine young men.” She willed back tears. “Our little meeting today is about Halloween.  Mr. Rowe said you’ll be handing out apples.”

The boys all groaned in unison.

“You know how Mr. Rowe feels about apples. He bought a bushel off the Amish and wants them all washed and polished. And wants me to remind you he did this for a living when he was your age.”

“Sorry, Miss Meadows, but it’s embarrassing,” Chuckey said. “Kids don’t want apples.”

“It means so much to Mr. Rowe. You’ll do it for him with smiles, right?”

Bud stuck out his lower lip and blew out air, making his fine brown bangs fly. “Mr. Rowe’s hard to say no to. I’ve lost ten pounds since we went on a diet. Has me eating carrot sticks of all things.” He broke into a smile and got up to high five Chuckey.

“We’ll make Mr. Rowe proud we live here, right guys?”

They all got up and fist bumped each other.  Timmy came over to fist bump her. She made a fist and knocked his. Great, Timmy’s coming out of his shell! 

“Thank you for your cooperation boys. Now, I have a surprise. I have an Amish friend who wants to give you boys a hayride. What do you say?” They were all quiet and gawked at her.

“Too childish for you or something?” 

Ethan raised his hands. “We really don’t know many Amish people. Are they nice? I mean, do they want to be friends with us?”