The Amish Doll: Amish Knitting Novel (Bonus Knitting Pattern Included) (9 page)

By the moonlight, he saw her brown eyes had yellow flecks. She looked beautiful. He cleared his throat. “Lottie, can we talk?”

She put her arms on his shoulders. “I think I know what this is about.”

“You do?”

“
Jah
, Joshua. The way you acted toward Bruce told me everything. You were jealous, because you love me and want to court again.” She pulled his neck down to kiss him. “Let’s take a buggy ride, like we used to.”

He didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was jealous, but it didn’t mean he loved her. “Okay, for a short ride. We need to talk.”

~*~

The boys sipped hot chocolate and sat around the kitchen table stringing popcorn. Marilyn kept popping more corn on the stove and replenishing the large stainless steel bowl that sat in the middle of the table. Jim sang along to a Bing Crosby White Christmas LP.

Raven thought of her grandmother. They’d strung cranberries for the birds to eat this time of year. Christmas was celebrated but not really a religious holiday. It was a time to think about the animals that needed food to make it through the winter. Respecting nature was a Native American custom she relished. Her grandfather planted pine trees on their land, just so the birds could nestle behind the needles. He also grew his own bird food. She never tired of taking the huge sunflowers that dried in the attic and pull out all the seeds in the center. She helped him cut the millet plants and hang them to dry, then collect the seeds and mix them with the sunflowers. How proudly her grandfather went out to the tin trays scattered throughout the reservation, making sure he kept up with the birds’ needs...and he always took her along.

But her Aunt Brook made fun of her parents and their love for the birds. She didn’t care who was hungry…even her niece who spent many hungry hours in the attic. Raven was reading the book of Matthew like Susanna told her to. She was learning how God cares about one little sparrow in need. He did see her all alone in that attic and her case worker took her out and put her in a place she was cared for.

Wonderful memories of her first foster home came back, when Granny Nora taught her how to knit. Her wrinkled hand had cradled hers as she taught her how to hold the yarn and needles. Learning how to cast on was easy, Granny praised her for a week for being so talented. Learning the difference between a knit and purl took time, but she was soon following patterns. Her first project was a scarf, and then  more complicated things, all outfits for her doll. Yes, good things came out of foster care. God had his eye on the sparrow, and he was looking over her, just like they sang in church.

She heard the doorbell ring and looked up at the clock. It must be Lawrence to pick her up for their date.  Jim got the door and soon Lawrence appeared in the kitchen. “Looks like we’re having fun here. Want to string some up for the tree at the church?”

Bud looked up. “I will. I’ll string as much popcorn as you’ve got.”

Jim chuckled. “You eat more than you string.” He patted his stomach. “Remember?”

Bud threw a piece of popcorn at Jim. “I know. Some of us are on diets.” He grinned as he continued to work on his string.

Raven got up and went to stand by Lawrence. “You boys have your homework done?”

They nodded in unison.

“Cliffy and Ethan, did you get all the multiplication problems done?”

They nodded, and then they all stared at her. Soon they all burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Chuckey said.

“No, tell me.”

She turned to see Lawrence had her white coat in his hands.  He’d gotten it off the hook in the entryway. “Can I help you on with your coat?”

The boys roared. Bud yelled, “
Ew
, Pastor got a date.”

Raven could feel heat rise in her face as she let Lawrence help her with her coat. Bud was a little funny bone and she’d get him back. “Actually, you see the color of my coat, right Bud?”

He nodded.

“Well, it’s white for a reason. You can get married in a white coat in the winter, on the Indian Reservation. It’s a custom.” She looked at Lawrence and batted her eyelashes. “We’re getting married tonight, aren’t we darling?”

To her surprise, Lawrence took her and dipped her, his face close to hers. “I’ve dreamt of this moment since the day we met.” He stood up and scooped her in his arms. He turned to Bud. “You want to come to the wedding? Be the ring bearer?”

Bud was a statue with a wide open mouth. Raven looked around the room. Everyone was, even Marilyn and Jim. “Boy, I’ll have no problem fooling you on April Fool’s Day. You’re all so gullible.”

“No, we’re not,” Jim said. “Maybe what you said is believable. You two look really great together.”

Joshua asked the waitress to bring more hot chocolate. He looked over at Lottie, and she looked as nervous as he was. Not many Amish came to the Grainery, but he felt he needed to get her out of his buggy. The way she was cuddling beside him didn’t warm his heart like it used to.   

“Are you warmed up enough to go home now?”

She glared at him. “I was warm in the buggy. We’ve gone riding after a singing in much colder weather.”

“Lottie, we’re not courting anymore. You’re not the same girl and I’m not the same man.”

“What could have possibly changed, Joshua? The Amish life is slow. Not much change to really affect anyone.”

Joshua stiffened. Was she really that shallow? “My
mamm’s
been facing death, and I see in her that she has no regrets, at least concerning who she married. My
daed
cares for her sacrificially, and always has. I want a marriage like theirs.”

She reached over the small table and took Joshua’s hand. “I love you. I’d do the same for you.”

Her words were hollow. “Your actions don’t match your words. You didn’t show much love by ending our courtship when my
mamm’s
diagnosis turned terminal. Other women came and sat with her, bringing presents…loving her. You did nothing.”

“It’s too morbid for me, Joshua. Watching someone die scares me.”

“It scares everyone,” Joshua said.

The waitress put two full mugs of hot chocolate with whip cream on their table.

“
Danki
,” Joshua said. He looked over at Lottie who again had tears spilling down her cheeks. Was he too hard on her? Maybe he was so used to being around someone who was sick. But he thought of Raven, who knew of his
mamm’s
condition. She stopped by whenever she could. They’d formed a bond in three months that he’d never had with Lottie. “Please don’t cry.”

“Joshua, I’m more emotional than usual, I know. But maybe it’s because I care so much about you. Won’t you let me make it up to you somehow? Let me show you I am that caring woman you once loved?”

Joshua looked at her and sighed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a girl with long black hair in a white coat. He turned to see it was Raven with Lawrence Turner. He felt his heart jump up in his throat and jealousy stirred within him. He watched as Lawrence pulled out the chair and took Raven’s coat. Joshua wished he could change tables and be with her. She not only looked gorgeous tonight, but her countenance had changed. She looked more at peace. He couldn’t pinpoint why, but he wanted to be her hero, her rescuer. Was it love? Was it pride? Shouldn’t he be happy she was discovering God loved her? Others too?

“Joshua, I see your English friend, Raven, has a boyfriend. Why don’t we go over and say hello.”

Before he could stop Lottie she’d gotten up and headed toward their table. He followed and when his eyes met Raven’s, she gave him a look that confused him. Was she jealous he was with Lottie? Lottie chattered on about how they were out on a buggy ride and had to stop in to warm up or freeze to death. Raven’s face turned red and she looked at him as if in search of an answer.

“I had important things to discuss with Lottie. We need a female helper when my
mamm
goes to Pittsburgh for her transplant. Lottie offered to help.”

He saw the tension in Raven’s face ease. “Joshua, you can count on me to help, too. You’re mom has helped me in many ways and I’d be happy to come over and repay her kindness.”

Without hesitation, Lottie blurted out, “What has Susanna done for you? She’s too ill to do anything. Did you ask her to teach you to quilt, like so many
Englishers
do?”

He saw Raven bite her lower lip and look down. She slowly looked up with misty eyes. “Susanna’s shown me the love of God. She made Him real to me.” Raven looked over at Joshua. “Now, Lawrence is teaching me the Bible.”

Joshua’s eyes locked with Raven’s. “I’ll tell my
mamm
what you said. She’ll be mighty encouraged. She can’t do much but pray and love…”

Lawrence looked at him in admiration. “Those are the two most important things to do.” He reached out to shake Joshua’s hand. “Tell her we have our church and half the town praying for her.”

Joshua smiled and shook his hand firmly. “
Danki
.”

~*~

Joshua was relieved to get home. Lottie unnerved him to his core. She was so emotional and lacked purity.  Amish girls didn’t throw themselves at their boyfriends. By yanking on his neck and trying to kiss him, when they were no longer courting, was not attractive. In the buggy she’d made the most preposterous suggestion. They get married as soon as possible?  It was like being in a bad nightmare.

Seeing Raven was like seeing the first spring rain: totally refreshing. So his
mamm’s
love was affecting her, helping her receive God’s love. He thought of the hard look she gave him when they first met. Miracles still happened because Raven was a different person. Her inner beauty now matched her outer. He remembered what his
daed
said about his
mamm
. It was her loving spirit that made him pursue her. How could he, though? Should he just tell her how he feels and ask her to be Amish? She seemed too attached to her electronics and modern ways.

He was shaken from his thoughts when he heard a car pull in the driveway and honk a horn. Joshua ran down the stairs and saw it was Lawrence and Raven. He ran to the car, barefoot, and saw terror in Raven’s eyes and ran to her side. She opened the door and stepped out. “Appleton’s on fire. We just got a call. Can you come with us and help?”

Eb ran over from the house. “What’s the matter, dear one?” When Eb reached her she fell into his arms and clung to Eb.

~*~

Raven gasped when they pulled into the driveway, and the tears ran freely down her cheeks. All the boys were outside, and she ran and embraced them. They were all staring motionless, in shock.

“Where are Marilyn and Jim?” Lawrence asked.

“In the hospital,” Bud said, in a monotone voice. “Marilyn left the pan on the stove and it caught on fire.  They tried to put it out. ”

“They told us to run outside,” Toby said, teeth chattering. “I stayed back and kept telling them to leave. Mr. Rowe said he had to get the box.”

Raven got down on her knees. Mr. Rowe could have been seriously injured, but he was thinking of the boys. What love and dedication. The box held all the boys’ paperwork. Without it, they’d be put into emergency foster homes. All the documents she needed to get the boys in good homes was in what Jim called the “Important Box”.

She felt someone get down in the snow beside her. It was Eb. She embraced him and sobbed. “Did you lose a lot of your stuff, Raven?”

She hadn’t even thought of her things. Then Raven remembered her doll, and all the clothes she’d knit for it over the years. Horror-stricken, she screamed, “My doll!” Her side of the house wasn’t on fire, and she charged toward it. A firefighter tried to stop her, but she got around him and ran into the building, and charged up the stairs. She felt the heat pour into her lungs and she gasped for air, and then two arms pulled her from behind.

~*~

She woke up and saw Joshua holding her hand. A paramedic was taking her pulse. “Where am I?” She looked at Joshua, wondering why she was inside an ambulance. He grabbed her in his arms and held her tight.   Eb asked questions about her rag doll. Then Raven remembered what she did. How foolish. “Joshua, I’m so sorry.”

He laid her down again and she looked at him. He had black soot on his face, streaked with tears. He took her hand and kissed it.

“I’m so sorry I put you in danger. I don’t know what came over me.”

A steadier stream of tears flowed down his cheeks and he couldn’t talk. She heard the paramedic ask him if he needed something for shock. Joshua shook his head no, just clung tighter to her hand. What was he trying to say to her he couldn’t get out? He seemed as bottled up as she used to be. Or did he get bad news about Marilyn and Jim? She turned to the stocky paramedic. “Where are the Rowes?”

“They were taken to the hospital, but they’ll be fine. You’ll be fine too; it’s your friend here I’m keeping an eye on.”

She looked at Joshua. “Joshua, everyone is fine.” Raven turned again to the paramedic. “Can we talk in private?” 

He nodded and walked away.

“Joshua, look at me. You’re shaking and need to take something for shock.”

He squeezed her hand. “I realize something…”

She put her hand on his cheek. “What?”

“I love you…”

Was this some kind of dream? “What?”

Eb climbed up in the ambulance. “You’re staying at my house, Raven. You and all the kids. Lord knows I have spare rooms.”

Reality set in. “I need to place the boys in foster homes.”

Joshua stroked her hand. “They can stay with Eb until tomorrow. We can sort it out in the morning.”

“Joshua, I need to follow rules.  He’s not a licensed foster home.”

“Well, I am. They can all stay at my house.”

Raven got up to hug him. She whispered in his ear. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor.”

“Is that a
goot
thing?” she heard him ask.

~*~

Raven opened her eyes and was jolted to see a room with all white walls, dark blue curtains pulled to one side, and wooden floors. She was not at Appleton, but in Eb’s house; most likely all her worldly possessions taken in the fire. Pans clanked downstairs and the smell of bacon wafted into the room. Eb’s care warmed her heart and she quickly wrapped a small quilt around her shoulders. She’d fallen asleep in her clothes and longed for her cozy pajamas.

Descending the plain oak staircase, she remembered her first day at Appleton, when Marilyn yelled that breakfast was ready.  It was odd how she felt more at home in a simple Amish home, not a grand Victorian. Eb was standing by the black woodstove cracking eggs into a cast iron skillet. “Morning, dear one. How do you like your coffee? Black or with milk?”

Raven didn’t know if it was the trauma of the night before, or the kind man’s way of looking at her, but she soon found her chin quivering. She let the tears fall down her cheeks, unashamed, and let Eb engulf her in a hug. “You’ve been through a lot. But you need to keep up your strength. I made you an Amish breakfast.”

She let Eb guide her to the oak table. “Thank you, Eb. I’ll take my coffee black.”

Eb sat a plate before her and then a mug of coffee. Raven gawked at the massive amount of food. “Is this Amish style? I’d weigh a ton if I ate like this every day.”

“If you were Amish, you’d work it off. No sitting around looking at those boxes.”

“Boxes?”

Eb snickered. “I call a TV a box. Don’t’ know why people watch other people live. Why not just live yourself? Makes no sense to me.”

Raven looked at Eb, now sitting across the table. He was being serious and it made her wonder why she did watch other peoples’ lives so much. To escape her own?  She jumped when someone pounded on the front door; her nerves were so unraveled. It was a woman’s voice asking to speak with her and she got up and went into the living room. A short, stout police officer stood firmly at the front door. Her stern black eyes, the same color as her skin, made Raven know she meant business.

“You must be Raven. I’m Officer Carter and I need to speak with you about the boys. They’ll need to be placed today into foster homes. I understand they’re all living next door, with Mr. Yoder?”

Raven felt like her knees would give out and asked the officer to come sit at the table. Eb asked her if she wanted breakfast and coffee, but she declined.  He also asked if this talk could wait until they were done eating, but she said she was on a busy schedule.

“Can the boys stay together today, even though they’ll have a foster home by tomorrow? They’re pretty traumatized by the fire and need each other.”

The officer sighed. “I sure do wish I wrote these rules. No, they’ll need to be placed today.”

“But I don’t have any clothes. I need to contact the insurance agent and make arrangements.”