The Arrangement (26 page)

“I don’t want to intrude…” Carter searched Reed’s face, a hesitant smile touching his lips. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Well, we were talking about you anyway, so you might as well sit down and set the record straight.” His father chuckled, lightening the mood a bit.

This time Carter managed a full-blown grin. “Nice to know.” He slid into the booth next to Reed, their thighs touching under the table.

“Reed told me about your little brother. Sounds like you have managed to turn around a bad situation and make it work. That couldn’t have been easy.”

Carter placed his hands flat on the rough wooden table. “I did what anyone would do. He’s a helpless child—my only relative.”

“You’re not in touch with your mother, then?”

Carter’s hands curled into fists. “Not for years. The last time was two years ago, a year after she left Jacks with me. She tried to hit me up for money and threatened to take Jacks away. So I made a deal with the devil: I paid her what she wanted, and she gave up all legal rights to Jacks. Thank God.”

In Reed’s mind, what Carter had done for Jacks was nothing short of a miracle, but Carter didn’t seek praise.

“Before that?” Carter’s lips curled in a sneer. “Aside from what we talked about last night, I hadn’t seen nor heard from her in almost twelve years. As far as I’m concerned my past is wiped clean.”

Reed nodded in agreement, and his father sighed, his expression grave. “You’re very young, Carter. You’ve been on your own all that time?”

“Yes. And better off for it. She was no mother.”

When it became apparent Carter wasn’t going to give any more information—that the painful story of Carter’s early years had been told to him in confidence—Reed thought for a moment and then spoke.

“I can relate to that in a way. We haven’t heard from my own mother in over fifteen years as well. She walked out on us when I was twelve. Said she couldn’t handle me or my problems.”

Carter turned to face him, his dark brows twisted in obvious confusion. “You mentioned that before but I don’t even know what that means. What problems?”

Anxiety meds could only do so much; they didn’t stop his heart from pounding or his breath from catching short. “I told you, my anxiety, my ADHD.”

“Yeah, I know that. But so what? That’s what parents do. They take care of their kids and get them help.” With a flip of his hand, Carter gestured to Walter. “Am I missing something?”

“No,” said his father. “That’s it exactly. But even after all these years, Reed still for some reason blames himself. Am I right?”

Reed hated the question. It put a spotlight on everything he tried to hide from people: his insecurity, inferiority, and feeling that no matter how hard he tried, he’d never measure up to the person he wanted to be.

“I—I wanted to be like everyone else; I didn’t need to be the smartest or the best at anything. But she made me feel dumb. Like if I had problems, it was all my fault because I didn’t try hard enough, even though I tried so damn hard.”

Carter laced their fingers together, and Reed could feel the strength flowing between their connected hands. “No matter what I did it was never good enough. If I did well in one class, she’d point out how I failed in other ways. But when we went to my psychiatrist, she’d tell him how much time she gave me, that she tried working with me, but I wouldn’t pay attention. She lied to protect herself instead of helping me.”

“Reed,” said his father. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“She was my mom, and you were together. I didn’t want to be bad. She told me not to say anything, or you’d leave us.”

His father interrupted. “I’d never—”

“I know that now, but not when I was a kid. I loved you. I didn’t want to be the cause of you leaving.”

It hurt him so much to see his father’s eyes shining bright with tears and lines of sorrow etched in his face. Perhaps this day had been a long time coming.

“So when she left, even though I kind of missed her, I hate to say it, but I was happy. No more criticism and making me feel stupid. And it was she who left and not you. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me if you’d left.”

Everything around them faded away, leaving only the bare, ugly truth between them.

“The truth can be freeing, right?” Carter squeezed his hand, a knowing smile curving his lips.

“In a way, yeah. My dad, he’s like no one else.” He reached across the table with his free hand to grasp his father’s. And like he had been all his life, his father was right there for him.

“This man stepped in and took over. He became my champion and best friend and got me to a psychiatrist I could relate to.”

“I love you, Reed. Never doubt it.”

“I never have. I may not have loved myself, but I knew I always had you.”

To his surprise, his father let go of his hand and stood. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You guys have a lot to talk about. Make sure you don’t leave until you work it all out. I have a feeling Carter has some important things you need to hear.”

Carter saluted Walter with two fingers. “On the money, Walter. Right on the money.”

Baffled, Reed waited until his father disappeared through the front doors to turn back to Carter. “What is it? Where is Jacks, by the way?”

“He’s with our neighbor, Helen. She’s a retired special ed teacher and has been with us since the beginning. But you know I wouldn’t leave him alone, so don’t deflect. I came here to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“About us. You, me, and Jacks. And why you think it wouldn’t work. And why didn’t you tell me about your mother?”

“It doesn’t matter; she doesn’t matter in my life anymore.”

Grim-faced, Carter stared at him. “How can you say that? Of course she does. Your childhood was shaped by how she treated you. You’re the man you are partly because of her. And I have to say, you came out the winner, not her.”

No winner if he lost the ultimate prize of having Carter. Exhaustion rolled through Reed. “I can’t do this. Certainly not here, in a crowded bar.”

“Then let’s go.” In one swift move, Carter extricated himself from the booth and stood. “Come with me.”

“Where to?” Reed watched Carter’s reaction with trepidation. “I’m not going to the hotel.”

For the first time that evening, Carter flashed a full-blown smile. “We don’t need that any longer. Besides, it’s a working day tomorrow. I have an idea to make this night special.”

Still wary, Reed gave in to his curiosity and followed Carter out of the bar and into a taxi they found disgorging its passengers right outside.

*     *     *

“A horse-drawn carriage
ride? Are you serious?”

They walked along the outskirts of Central Park and surveyed the line of carriages. Some horses had roses woven in their manes and others had bells. Carter ignored the waves of the carriage men and came upon a beautiful jet-black horse with a white star and dainty white fetlocks. The freshly painted red carriage gleamed, and there were red and white roses in the back seat.

“How are you this fine evening? I’m Patrick, and would you be likin’ a ride tonight?”

Reed couldn’t help but smile back at the man’s strong brogue and engaging grin.

“Yes. We’d like a ride, please.”

“Sure you would. Hop on, and Tommy and I will be givin’ you a perfect evening ride through the park.”

Carter extended his hand. “After you.”

Resistance proved futile against Carter, so Reed stepped up, and a moment later Carter joined him.

“Feel free to partake of any of the items in the back seat; the water and blankets are complimentary.”

“Thank you, Patrick.” Carter shook out the blanket and tucked it over them, then leaned back on the bench and draped his arm across Reed’s shoulders. Patrick clucked his tongue, and Tommy the horse took off at a slow clop into Central Park.

The wind blew softly, and the trees rustled. “What is this? Why are we here?”

“It’s a beautiful night. Why not?”

Exasperated, Reed threw back his part of the blanket. “Come on. We’re here to talk about us. And Jacks. I know you’d like us all to get along, but the fact remains that you have a responsibility that’s never going to change. And I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever want to be the one to come between you.”

“Why do you think you’d have to? You walked out so quickly you never gave it a chance.” Moving closer, Carter pulled the blanket over them both again and pressed up against him. “I had a talk with Jacks’s psychiatrist today, and he said it would be beneficial for Jacks to start learning he can’t always be number one; that I shouldn’t make myself a doormat and never put my feelings first. I’ve devoted three years exclusively to his care. The doctor said it could actually be helpful to show Jacks I can have a loving and solid connection with another adult. That it will give him even more stability.” Carter kissed him with soft, tender touches of his lips. “Are you giving up on us so easily when we can finally have it all?”

Would there ever come a time when having Carter near wouldn’t cause his blood to race or his heart to pound in slow, almost painful beats?

“I don’t want to hurt Jacks and the relationship you have.”

Carter slid his hand down Reed’s thigh, brushing close to his half-hard cock. “First of all, you couldn’t. It’s not a matter of either/or with you and him. He’s my little brother, and by default he’ll always have my protection and my love. That doesn’t mean I can’t love you too; I’m not choosing you over him. I think I have a right to be happy now, and you need to create a separate, special relationship with him. Don’t piggyback on mine. Give it a chance to grow and for him to know and love you.”

Reed opened his mouth to speak, but Carter’s lips covered his while his hand became busy under the blanket, unbuttoning his soft cotton pants and drawing them down out from under his ass to release his fully erect cock. His mind spun hazily, wondering how Carter once again maneuvered him into having semi-public sex, but with Carter stroking his dick and his tongue probing his mouth, Reed cared about nothing else except the incredible pressure building up inside him.

The horse’s hooves beat a steady pace along the path, and Patrick called back to them. “How’re you gentlemen doing? The night treating you well?”

Carter broke free of the kiss. “Just fine, thanks,” he said, wet lips hovering over Reed’s mouth. They stared at each other, both breathing heavily. “Have some important business to get down to.” Even in the dim light, Reed caught the glint of Carter’s wicked grin.

“I understand.” The undertone of laughter in Patrick’s voice left little doubt he knew exactly what was going down in the back seat of his carriage. “I’ll leave you two to your privacy.”

“Carter, what are you doing?” Reed kept his voice down.

“I thought it was obvious. I’m trying to love you.” Carter nuzzled Reed’s neck and stroked his cock from tip to root. Carter had barely touched him, yet Reed was dangerously close to coming. What did it say about him that having sex in a public place was such a fucking turn-on? The ache in his groin had him not caring at all.

“If you can’t figure it out, I’ll need to do a whole lot better than this.” He grasped Reed’s cock and slid his hand down the rigid length to his balls, rolling and squeezing them.

“Better?” Reed managed to choke out, before he fell back against the seat and squeezed his eyes shut, his tense body vibrating. Any better and he might fly to pieces from the pleasure.

“I love your balls; they fit perfectly in my hands. I love how I can tell when you’re going to shoot ’cause they get all tight and springy.” Carter sucked, then bit his earlobe.

Nothing existed for Reed outside of the carriage. The velvety darkness of the evening hid them well. Carter kissed a path down Reed’s neck to the top of his chest, forcing Reed to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out. With deft fingers, Carter unbuttoned his shirt, and swirled his tongue around Reed’s nipples, sucking the pointy nubs into his mouth. Reed groaned and arched his back; a jolt traveling straight to his cock, sending out a spurt of precome against Carter’s hand.

Chuckling deep in his chest, Carter slid his sticky hand down Reed’s throbbing cock, reaching farther between his legs to slide the tip of a wet finger past the rim of his hole.

At that precise moment they hit a rut in the path and the carriage bounced, forcing Carter’s finger farther inside Reed. Without warning Reed yelped and came hard, spurting across his stomach.

“All right back there? Sorry about the rough ride. The damn city never keeps up with the roads these days.”

“It’s fine; no problem at all.” Carter smothered his laughter, then leaned over and brushed their lips together. He rested his lips on the corner of Reed’s mouth and whispered to him. “Come home with me tomorrow, please. Be with me and Jacks. You never gave us a chance; you walked out and didn’t look back.”

In his sleepy, blissed out state, Reed struggled to remain strong, then wondered what he was fighting and why. If Carter proved correct, he could have everything he’d always wanted; a man who knew the real him and not only didn’t run away spitting hurtful words but embraced his differences, understood him, and loved him anyway. Unconditional love, something he thought he’d only have from his father, now within his reach. A forever. A home.

He’d have to be crazy not to grab on, hold tight, and never let him go.

“Reed?”

Even in the dark Carter’s face stood out to him like a beacon of hope and love. It always would.

“Yeah, okay. Tomorrow.”

‡