The Bucket List (30 page)

"What other men?"
Corey asked as he looked down into his drink.

Irving
chuckled a little bit.

"I know my little girl is no angel,
Corey. I blamed you for years for that," he said. "But you're in love with her. And she's in love with you. I don't think she ever stopped."

"What do you mean?"
Corey asked, his head snapping back up.

"I remember when she was sixteen, her mum was still grieving and she felt like she couldn't talk to her about it. She came to me. I was shocked because
every time I tried to talk to her back then she'd swear she'd hate me till the day she died, but she had no one else. You broke her heart, boy. Did you know that?"

"I didn't break her heart. She broke mine. I told her how I felt about her and she still made arrangements with the entire football team,"
Corey said bitterly.

"Was this before or after you started screwing around?"

Corey had no answer to that.

"Look, you two were young. Whatever
happened, happened. She cried for weeks over you and I told her to put it behind her and move on, that if it was meant to be it would, eventually. I was actually happy you decided to be just friends because my baby still had a lot of growing up to do. But this is now. You're clearly in love with her. If anything happens... will you be able to live with yourself if you don't tell her?"

Corey
looked up at Rae as she stood with Nate, Matt and Punk by the bar, laughing at something one of them had said.

It had been the worst week of his
life, there was no doubt about it. She'd avoided talking about treatment and a lot of the times, she avoided him. He couldn't understand that. All he'd wanted to do was hold her, take her pain, but if he so much as took her hand, she quickly pulled away from him. He blamed Nate for that. Rae had told him that they'd broken up over the whole John issue, but for some reason that freak was still hanging around. All the phone calls, the texts...

Are you
all right, sweetheart?

Did you get that sketch, babes?

Let's catch a movie or something when I'm off, darlin'.

For fuck's sake, when it was over, it was over! Why would she want to keep hanging around
Nate? Couldn't she see that she needed him. not Nate? And he needed her just as much? There was no need for her to depend on Nate. And why would she tell Nate about the cancer before him? Nate couldn't mean that much to her already, could he?

"Well?"

He looked away from the scene to look at the older man.

"
Irving... I don't know what you're trying to do," he started. "I love your daughter... I don't know, maybe I'm probably even a little in love with her like all of you keep saying. She's beautiful, she's intelligent, funny and she gets me. She's been the only constant in my life and I depend on her for my happiness, so yeah... maybe I'm in love with her. But she doesn't need that right now."

"Well, she needs something right now,"
Irving motioned in Rae's direction.

Sure enough, Rae had her hand on Phil's arm and was laughing into his eyes. He knew the signs. That meant Rae had picked her next victim. His jaw clenched as he looked away.

How could she even be thinking of sleeping with someone at a time like this? And Phil? What would that man do for her? Nothing. Did she really need another meaningless roll in the hay right now?

"Seems you're not the only one upset about that,"
Irving said again.

Looking back, he saw
Nate pull her away from Phil. Whatever he said to her had her sitting down heavily on one of the stools and shaking her head. Then Nate pointed in his direction and said something that she didn't like, obviously, because she shook her head profusely as she tried to explain.

"Now, I'm guessing here but if you don't say anything, young
Nate there will be the one she'll turn to," Irving whispered. "What is it going to be, Corey? Will you just sit there and let another man sit by her bedside while she goes through this treatment, doing all the things that you should be doing? Or will you get off your ass and tell her how you feel?"

He saw the way
Nate slowly took Rae into his arms before dropping a kiss on her lips. His anger welled up in him and boiled over just as that freak's hand traveled from her butt to cup one of her breast. No. This wouldn't do at all.

"What are you doing?"

"What?" Rae questioned as she was forced to let go of Phil. "Nate, what are you doing?"

"You're flirting with him.
Right in front of me. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Rae sat with a sigh on one of the stools.

"I'm sorry. I'm not thinking straight. All I know is I can't be with you because it's just not fair but I need... someone. I need someone to make me forget."

"What about
Corey?"

"What?"

"You and him... how could you even flirt with Phil when Corey is watching you like that? Do you guys have an open relationship or something?"

"Me and
Corey?! No! What would give you such an idea?"

Nate
frowned a little as a few questions started whirling in his head.

"When you... when you cheated on me
... Who did you sleep with, Rae?"

She looked away from him and bit her lip.

"John," she answered.

"John? Why would you
... ?"

He stopped his questions as another thought entered his mind. She wasn't with
Corey, the one he knew loved her beyond all others. Did that mean he still stood a chance? And if he did, did he really want it, knowing it would end no other way?

He found that he did.
Very, very much. But it was too late now. Had he known it was John she'd been with from the beginning, he would never have let her go. He would have fought for her. They would still be together now. But he'd had time away from her to think about how he felt. Yes, he had fallen in love with her after only a week and after another week or so with her, even Corey wouldn't have been able to stop him from fighting for her. Even knowing what he did, that she was in love with Corey, too, he would still have been selfish enough to want her for himself. And that wasn't what she needed right now.

"So, are you with John, now?"

"No!" she denied, shaking her head profusely. "He was there when I needed him and I took advantage of that. He should be with Mandy now but I messed that up for him, just like I messed up with you."

"How did
Corey feel about that?"

"He's still not talking to John. I don't get it.
Mandy's spoken to him a few times now and she's the one we screwed."

"Did you stop to think that maybe you screwed him, too?" he asked softly. "I mean, think about it. The guy was okay with me when he thought I was just a
one night stand. The moment he realised you wanted something more, he started to hate me. Maybe when he found out about you and John he started thinking you want something serious with him, too. Now he hates John, his best friend, for it. He's jealous."

He watched her think over his words for a moment before shaking her head.

"No. He can't be... I mean... if he was jealous, he'd hate everyone else I've been with."

"
No one else has been a threat."

"You're trippin'
Nate. Corey doesn't feel that way about me."

"Sure? Then he won't mind if I do this?"

Before she knew what was happening, he pulled her up slowly to stand in front of him before placing a kiss on her lips. One kiss, that's all he needed. A part of him knew that it would not be long until she realised his words as truth so this kiss was bittersweet. It was closure.

As always, the moment his lips touched hers, she was his for the taking. Her body
molded into his like it was meant to be... but it wasn't and he knew that. He cupped her breast as he deepened the kiss and a low moan escaped from deep within him. If only they weren't in this crowded room... he would have just dipped himself in her, one last time... But he knew he would never do that again. She belonged to another.

And sure enough, before he'd even had enough of her sweet lips, he was roughly pulled away. His eyes clashed instantly with The Legend Killer's. With no words spoken, he was told to back the fuck off.

"Corey?" Rae questioned, still dazed by the kiss and obviously more confused about the interruption because of the words he had spoken earlier.

"We need to talk,"
Corey bit out.

Rae threw him a little look and he thought he saw something flash in her eyes. Hope? Fear?

"Please," Corey whispered.

With a little nod, she looked away from him to
Corey's eyes before walking ahead. Before Corey turned to follow her, he threw him another look. This one told him to keep the fuck away from his woman.

With a sigh, he watched as the two of them walked out of the function room. This was it.
The end of a chapter. And the beginning of a new one.

"You think this is it?"
Alyssa asked.

"Yeah," John said as he turned away from the retreating couple to look at the brunette in front of him.

"I'm glad. She's going to need him a lot, what with the treatment and all."

They stood in an awkward silence as John finished his umpteenth drink, oblivious to the party that was in full swing all around them.

"I never meant to hurt you," John said finally, looking into his empty glass.

"Let's not do this now,"
Mandy said, turning away from him as if she really didn't want to know.

"I was scared," he continued, ignoring her plea. "She was telling me all these things which I knew were crap because I've known her so long, but something in her eyes
... it scared me, Mandy. It was like I knew without her having to say anything and I would have done anything just so she wouldn't have to tell me... just so we could pretend for a little while longer."

"John..."

"I don't know how to deal with it," he cut in. "She's become my family and I can't... I can't lose her. You told me before that party to loosen up, to stop 'daddying' them... but it’s worked both ways, Mandy. I couldn't tell you how often she's had my back, how often she's helped me through so many difficult situations. She's the one who's helped me screw my head on tight and it scares me that she might not be there in my future... "

"I know, John," she whispered as she put a hand on his arm.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you," he said again, finally looking up into her eyes, not caring if she saw the tears that were threatening to fall. "Please... help me."

Corey struggled with the key card, Rae's hand tightly grasped in his as he angrily muttered under his breath.

"What's wrong, baby?"

What was wrong? Where the fuck was he supposed to begin? First, she'd avoided him all week, hadn't even wanted him to touch her. Second, she had been down there looking to get laid, now of all times. How could she even think of that with everything that was going on? So she wanted them to enjoy themselves for one night, she wanted them to forget; but fucking hell, she could be dying. How the fuck was he supposed to forget about that? And third, how the hell could she have kissed that freak? It was over. Finished. Time for that weirdo to fucking move on.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" he snapped, swearing a little bit more when the damn key still wouldn't go in.

"What? Kiss Nate?"

"You can't be doing that right now! We have too much to worry about without having him hanging around you," he shouted, twirling around to face her.

He saw the way her brows lifted in confusion and swore some more as he turned back to the door. What the hell was he saying? She had every right to kiss whoever she wanted. Why had he dragged her up here? This was a bad idea. Very bad.

"What the hell is the matter with you? It was just a kiss."

"Are you back together? Is that it?" he asked as he turned to her again.

"I don't think so
... "

"What kind of shit crazy answer is that? You either are or you aren't. Simple."

Her mouth snapped shut and he swore again as he turned away before he was tempted to say any more. It occurred to him that this was the first time he had raised his voice to her since she had told him about the cancer. Hell, it was the first time he had shown any sort of emotion other than the pain.

"Why?" he heard her ask softly. "Why is it bothering you this much?"

He had no idea. All he knew was he couldn't let her be with someone else. It should have been just him and her, fighting the world together... fighting the damn cancer together.

"Fucking piece of shit!" he swore when the card failed again, and this time he kicked the door for good measure.

He felt her gentle hand cover his own before taking the offending object from him. Then she calmly swiped the card through and the door clicked open easily.

"I must have fixed it when I kicked it," he grumbled as the door swung fully open.

"Okay," Rae said before walking into their shared room.

He stood for a moment in the same spot, trying to calm himself down. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight. He hadn't pulled her away from
Nate just to fight with her. He wanted... He wanted her. He wanted for her lips to be on his, not that painted freak's. He wanted to lock her away in this room forever, just the two of them, and forget about the world, about their problems.

His eyes followed her as she walked further into the room. At some point in the night, she had lost that shift of hers and now her naked back taunted him. Even the way the silk clung to her curves was driving him crazy, just as she had
drove him crazy the past week.

"Well?" she asked as she turned to face him.

Slowly, he walked into the room, his eyes not once leaving her face. What was he going to do now? He'd meant to talk to her, to tell her how he felt, but he had all these doubts floating in his head. What if Irving and John had been talking out of their asses? How the hell did they know that she was in love with him? If she was, he would know about it; he knew her better than anyone else, for fuck's sake! And how could they be sure this burning need in him was love? He was feeling a lot of things in a lot of places; how the hell had they summed it all up already and classed it as love?

So rather than to talk and face rejection, rather than waiting to hear that she didn't feel the same way, he decided he had no need for words. Not yet. He'd show her first
..

"Come here," he said, his voice a hoarse whisper.

A confused look still on her face, she did as he'd asked. His eyes still didn't leave hers, even when he reached down for her hand and pulled her against his body.

The second her body touched his, the second his hand snaked round her back and felt her bare flesh, he lost control. His body was letting him know in no uncertain terms how much it craved this touch. It had been too damn long! Ten years too long.

"Corey?" she questioned shakily. "What are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago," he whispered as he brought his head down to hers.

That first touch of her lips... God, how the hell had he gone without it for so long? He'd kissed her a million times since their relationship, but this time... this was even better than the night he had got her drunk. The shivers up his spine and the jolt of electricity that shot through every nerve ending in his body fuelled the fire that burned in his loins. Her lips were so soft and inviting. After only a second of contemplation, they opened up to allow him to fully taste her. He deepened the kiss as he held her tighter, his body reacting to hers like he'd never known before. He was sure everyone in the city could hear his heart beating, hear his blood racing through his body. The rush was unbelievable, like he'd tasted a potent drug and become immediately addicted. She tasted so damn good...

Her arms found their way around his neck and he let out a low moan when he realised she would offer no resistance at all. She was giving herself to him. She had to know what this was leading to and yet she let him
... Could that mean Irving had been right, after all? Or was this because she was just so damn horny? Only a few minutes ago she had been ready to let Nate do her right there in front of everybody.

Slowly, he pulled his lips from hers and looked into her face. Her gorgeous blue eyes were closed but he remembered how they had once looked at him like he was the most perfect man in the whole world, and how he'd been too immature to realise what she'd offered him. If only they could look at him like that again.

Slowly, she opened them and he let out a little, low gasp as he saw that look again. Had it always been there? Had he been too blind to notice it?

"
Corey?"

He knew he was confusing her, but he had to be sure. If, for some reason, she called out
Nate's name tonight, he didn't think he'd be able to handle it. He wanted her too much.

"I've been going crazy, Rae
... wanting to kiss you, to touch you in ways I shouldn't," he whispered. "I've never wanted anything so badly, ever. I can't eat, I can't sleep... I've been remembering how you used to scream my name... how beautiful you looked when you came for me..."

"How you told me you loved me?" she whispered back.

Yes, when he'd promised her the world... When she'd told him there could never be anyone else for her. Did she remember that, too?

He nodded his head before he took her lips in another scorching kiss.

"I want to make love to you, Rae," he whispered.

Would that freak her out? Would she want to talk first? That was probably what they needed to do, but he couldn't do that, not with the way he was feeling. He just needed to be inside her. Urgently.

He saw a little bit of doubt enter her eyes and decided he'd done enough talking. The last thing he needed right now was to have her think of all the reasons why this couldn't happen. And there were a lot of those.

He found her lips again and this time, his hand travelled up her back to the little hooks that held her dress up around her neck. He undid them expertly in seconds then moved away slightly so the silky material could fall around her feet.

A moan escaped his lips as his eyes took all of her in. She had worn no bra and only a tiny scrap of silk covered her modesty. She was perfect. Of all the women he had fucked, none of them had ever looked as good as Rae did. He had known this as fact for so long, known that no other woman would ever even compare. No one could be as perfect as his Rae and as she stood in front of him, he finally understood why. It was because he would never feel for any other woman what he felt for Rae.

John was right. He was in love with his best friend.

Of all the things to happen... Why would the Fates make him feel like this now with the cancer hanging over their heads? It would only complicate things. What if she didn't feel the same way, what if his head was just playing tricks on him? And what if she was in love with that freak? Would she sleep with him then run back to make up with Nate? He didn't think he'd be able to handle that. He couldn't be just another fuck to her. He wanted to mean something...

With a little frown, his eyes mirroring his doubt, he lifted his head to look into her eyes. She bit her bottom lip, not saying anything
... just waiting. Did they really want to go down this road? They weren't teenagers anymore. If they did this, they could never take it back, not this time.

Then
Irving's words drifted into his head.

"If anything happens
... will you be able to live with yourself if you don't tell her?"

No. No he wouldn't. There was no telling what tomorrow would bring. What they had was tonight... right now. And, even though he felt he couldn't tell her how he felt, not now, he could certainly show her.

His breathing became erratic, the urgency to possess her increased. He would make love to her tonight like no one else, not even Nate. It would be his name she would scream out, it would be him she would want to be with.

Yes, he would do her so
good that she wouldn't even think of another man. She was his. From here on out. Nate could just go screw himself. No one was taking her away from him, not while he still had a breath in his body.

Gently, he picked her up and walked bed. He still held her eyes. The look he had known so many years ago was back in her eyes, the same look she had given him when she had told him how much she loved him. He would ask her about it later; ask her if there was any truth in what he saw. They would talk properly and clear the air. But not right now.

Carefully placing her on the bed, he urgently took his own clothes off before laying his body next to hers. The fire was instant and all consuming. All those other times, back when they were only teenagers, immediately paled in comparison. He had never ever felt this way before.

"I'm John mother fuckin'
John. You don't dictate to me."

"Sir, I'm not trying to dictate to you. I'm merely pointing out that we cannot offer you those services here."

"I paid good money to be here tonight!"

"I'm afraid the fee you paid did not include a private jet to Vegas and some females to accompany you."

He swore as he turned from the balding old man, sipping his beer as he did so. If that bastard wouldn't help him, he'd find someone who could. He felt like he was drowning, sinking in his own sorrow and the only person who could help him had basically told him to fuck off. The way he saw it, his only option now was to find some random broad and go to some place his thoughts wouldn't follow him. It wasn't something he normally did, but he was desperate here... Shit like that always worked for Corey and Rae, he might as well try it himself.

Someone snickered to his left and he angrily twirled round to face him. What the fuck was so funny?

"You could try catching a taxi to the nearest hole in the wall, maybe you'll save yourself a few bucks," Morrison snickered.

"If you got somethin' to say, say it to my face," he slurred.

"I believe he did actually say it to your face," Gary laughed. "What's the matter with you, John?"

"That man is refusing to comply with a paying customer's wishes," he said angrily. "I should just grab his wrinkly ass and FU him."

"Easy, there, big boy," Morrison said. "You don't want to get sued or nothing like that."

"They can just sue these nuts!" he said loudly, making sure the man behind the counter heard him.

"Dude... you should just go lie down," Gary said as he came to his side.

Lie down? Was this guy crazy? How could he sleep which the thoughts that where whirling in his head?

"Nah, man. I'm good," he mumbled as he snatched his arm from Gary's hold. "I'll just head back and grab a few more beers."

"I think you've had enough, John. Just go up to your room," Morrison put in.

He sneered at that. Did they have any idea what was happening in that room? Corey was probably shooting his second or third load right about now. An interruption would certainly not be welcome.

"I'm going for another drink," he stated firmly, pushing the two men aside as he walked across the lobby.

"John... " Gary started.

"It's okay, guys. He'll be with me."

He froze at the sound of Mandy's voice and turned with the other two men to watch as she walked across the floor. What the hell was she doing back here? He'd begged her to help him, poured his heart out, and she'd just left. She'd made it perfectly clear that he would pay for a very long time for the mistake he had made. And in the process, he would face the pain of watching Rae fight her battle all by himself.