The Cost Of Love And Sanity (11 page)

“It's okay. Listen.” Nathan paused. “I completely goofed up our date last week but I'd really like to see you again.”

Alex's heart raced with anxiety. The moment of truth had arrived. She thought about her urge to transform her relationships. She also considered Izzy's advice, trying to force those thoughts to overpower her own fears of getting played like a checkers game.

As if Nathan could read her mind, he spoke again. “I really think we should talk about some things.”

Alex rubbed her forehead, wondering if she would regret this. “Okay. How does Saturday sound?”

A
lex reached into her office mailbox and pulled out a few envelopes. One was a big brown envelope from a company she didn't recognize. Curious about it, she opened it right then. While she read the contents of the envelope, Mr. Sims approached her.

“Morning, Alex.”

She turned quickly. “Morning, Mr. Sims.”

“How's everything?”

“Awesome. Another busy day.”

He nodded. “That's true. How's it going with the fair?”

“I've generated a lot of interest with employers. Several are in the pipeline. We should be moving forward any day now.”

“And how is Dan doing?”

That's a good question.
Although she had vowed to get with Dan on their game plan, Alex hadn't quite done that yet. Dan hadn't reached out to her either. They hadn't even spoken since the meeting—where they both received the bad news that they'd be working together. She hadn't been avoiding the inevitable; she completely forgot. She had to handle this immediately.

“I think he's doing well,” Alex said.

“You think? Have you all gotten together to work out details on how the fair is going to run?” Mr. Sims asked.

“Our schedules have not allowed us to meet officially but we will be hashing everything out right away.”

He frowned. “Okay. Well, make sure that you two link up as soon as possible. I expect you both to be prepared to report on the progress at our next meeting.”

“And we will be hundred percent ready. You have my word,” Alex said.

“Good. I'll see you later, Alex.” He smiled and walked away.

Alex stuffed her letter back into its large, brown envelope and made a beeline to the elevator. She pushed the button for the third floor and practically sprinted off the elevator when it opened there. She dashed through the sea of cubicles to look for Dan's desk, which turned out to be no easy task. After spinning around in circles for a couple of minutes, she stopped and turned to the young woman with the name “Bernice” on her cubicle.

“Do you know where Dan Reece's desk is?” Alex asked.

“When you turn right here, I believe it's the second one on the left,” Bernice said.

“Thank you,” Alex responded as she walked around the corner and looked to her left. There she found a cubicle with Dan's name on it. He, however, wasn't in it.

“Great.” She glanced around, hoping to see him somewhere talking to a coworker. No such luck. She then stepped into his cubicle and grabbed a post-it and a pen and scribbled a note for him.

Come to my office as soon as possible. It's an emergency!

She signed her name on it and stuck it on his computer screen so that he wouldn't miss it. Alex rubbed her hands together. She felt a little better knowing that she'd taken action to get them on track.

Alex went back up stairs to her office, dumped her mail on her desk and waited for Dan to meet her. She didn't sit there doing nothing; she continued coming up with ideas for the fair, answering
questions for her staff and analyzing reports but, in between all of that, she kept looking at the clock, wondering when Dan was coming. She hoped he planned to come. It would not look good on either of them if they weren't able to cooperate for the sake of the project. Alex was not about to lose her job because Dan had an ego problem.

She spotted the time on the clock again. Eleven thirty-two a.m.
I refuse to let him leave for lunch before seeing me. I'll call his desk and if he doesn't answer, I'll have him paged.
Right after Alex picked up the phone to dial his extension, she heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” Alex said.

Dan slowly opened the door as if he wanted to make sure he had permission to enter. “Did you leave a note for me?” he asked with uncertainty in his voice.

“Yes. Come in.” She placed the phone back into its holder.

Dan stepped into her office and closed the door behind him. He took a few steps in and stood in the middle of the floor. Alex tooted her lips upward.

“Come on. Why are you creeping in here? My note may have been a little startling but nobody's gonna bite you.” She laughed.

Dan smiled a little. “I know. I guess it's…well, you've never asked me to come to your office before.” He looked around. “It's all right.”

Alex nodded. “Thank you. Please, have a seat.”

Dan obeyed. “So, um, what was the emergency?”

“I ran into Mr. Sims this morning and he wants us to be prepared to talk in detail about our progress. So, I wanted to meet with you and get a handle on what we're working on together, as well as separately.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“In terms of the fair, what are you working on now?” Alex asked.

“I looked at a few venues for it and got some prices. I can get them for you if you'd like to see them.”

“Actually, that's fine. We'll be holding it at the Rockford Center. I've already checked it out and they have the space we need for an event of this magnitude.”

Dan sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. Alex could tell that he didn't like the fact that she'd already decided on a location without consulting him but that was too bad. She, unlike him, couldn't afford to wait around for the day of the job fair to arrive and then look for a venue.

“I thought you were working on employers,” Dan said.

“I am.”

He sighed. “If you have everything under control, then what do you need me for?” Dan sounded even more irritated as he spoke.

I don't. Mr. Sims thinks I need you.
“There are still a lot of things that we need to nail down.”

“Like what?”

“In order for the job fair to go off the way that we want, we need sponsors pronto. You know a lot of people because of the contacts you constantly have to make. I wanted to know if you could take on everything having to do with the sponsorships.”

“Yeah, I do meet a lot of people.” Dan sat up in his chair and pushed his chin out. “Okay. I'll do it.”

“Great! Do you already have people in mind?” Alex turned to her notebook to write down Dan's responsibility.

“Yes.”

“Really? Who?” Alex asked.

“You'll see.” He smiled wide.

A knot formed in Alex's stomach.
You have to trust your team member.
She cleared her throat. “Okay. Well, call anyone you know
that might be interested in investing in something as important as this.”

“Oh, I'll work it out. I mean, we'll work it out.”

She smiled.
Baby steps.
“Good. I'm confident that this will be a breeze for you.”

“Thanks, Alex.”

Dan stood up and bounced out the door. Alex smiled. She'd done the right thing—giving Dan a chance to show what he can do. Something told her he would not disappoint. However, she planned to find some potential sponsors and keep them in her back pocket, in case he did drop the baton. Leaning back in her chair, she decided to break for lunch.

W
hen they were making plans, Alex requested a relaxed evening out but Nathan insisted on making it an official “date.” She knew one thing; she refused to get all dressed up like she had done before. Their last failed date made the second time he'd let her down. She had to command herself to think positive and believe there wouldn't be a third time. Just in case, Alex opted for a pair of blue, boot-cut jeans, a white, buttoned shirt with a black body shaper under it, a black, stone-studded belt and silver heels. She conveniently swept her hair into an updo.

Before she could check her thinly applied makeup, her doorbell rang. She raised her eyebrows.
Is he really early this time?
When she walked downstairs and peeped through her door hole, she saw that he had arrived early. Refusing to get too excited about this one instance of good behavior, Alex unlocked the door and opened it for him.

“Hey, Alex!” Nathan wore a lavender sweater with gray slacks. He stepped past the threshold and hugged Alex—firmly but gently. “Um. You look great. I'm so happy to see you again.”

The smile on his face matched the look in his eyes. Warm and sincere. She wanted to fall into the soft place that his expression promised to her but Alex preferred to keep her guard up. She reached for her leather jacket. “Thanks. Are you ready to go?”

“Sure.”

When they pulled out of her driveway, anxiety hit Alex like a Mack truck. She suddenly realized that she didn't know his plans for their “date.” She turned to Nathan.

“So, where are we going?” Alex asked.

“To the Landing. I thought we might have dinner down there and go for a walk.”

“Do you have reservations or something?”

Nathan turned to her and smiled wide. “Yes.”

Alex frowned. “What are you smiling about?”

“I see you haven't changed much.”

“I hope you have.” The comment slid out before Alex had a chance to wheel it back in. The moment she said it, she wished she hadn't. Sure, she might be a little ticked that he'd stood her up a week ago. Even more bothered about him standing her up ten years ago, but if they had any hope of enjoying the evening, she would have to remain cordial.

Alex rushed in to fix her comment. “I mean, I'm sure you've changed a lot.”

Nathan brushed off her comment, as if he hadn't thought twice about it. “How was work today?”

“Fine.” Alex looked outside the window.

“How has the year been treating you so far?”

“Good.”

Nathan nodded. “Is it better than last year?”

She sighed. “I don't know. It has its hiccups.”

“Really? Like what?”

“My company is going through some changes. They want us to come up with ways to increase recruitment numbers. We have to make our own effort. Whoever they are not satisfied with, that person will be let go.”

“What?! Whoa!” Nathan turned right at the green light. “Have you already started?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“It's coming along. I have to work with Dan.” She rolled her eyes.

“Who is he?” Nathan asked.

“Let's just say he's not the sharpest pair of shears.”

“Aww. Well, just because he's not the sharpest guy doesn't mean that the job fair won't be a success. Maybe you can offer to help him on areas you think might be difficult for him.”

“If he listens,” Alex said.

“He will. Anybody can see that you know what you're doing, even a dim shear.”

She chuckled.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“Well, let me know if that changes.”

After a couple more blocks, Nathan pulled into Rucker's Italian Cuisine and Grille. Nathan opened the door for Alex and they walked inside. The host led them to the back where they sat at a button, leather sofa that surrounded a half-circle table.

“What would you like for a beverage? We have an excellent red wine selection.” The host motioned toward the bottles of wines to the table beside their couch.

“I'll have water for now,” Alex said.

The host nodded and placed the menus in front of them. “And you, sir?”

“I'll try the red wine.”

While the host poured the drinks, Alex found herself staring at the country-style paintings and brick décor.

“Do you like it?” Nathan asked, following her gaze.

“Yes. It's nice.”

“Good.” He leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. “So, tell me what else has been going on in your life, besides fighting for your job?”

Alex glanced down at Nathan's large hands. His hands always fascinated her. They looked like they could toss a boat across the ocean. Yet, it amazed her how hands so big could handle her so gently. Afraid that he would notice her staring at them, she turned her attention to the menu and answered his question.

“Oh, you know. Work,” Alex said.

“There's got to be more to your life than that.”

She looked up at him. “What's going on in your life?”

“I asked you first.” Nathan smiled.

She rolled her eyes and turned the page on the menu.

He chuckled. “I'm not trying to give you a hard time. I'm only trying to figure out why no one has snatched you up yet. I'm lucky but I'm not that lucky.”

Why does he have to do this?
Alex smirked. “Why hasn't anybody snatched you up?”

“You first,” he insisted.

She didn't know what to say. She'd told herself that marriage had taken a backseat to her career. While her job did sometimes require longer hours, she didn't know if that was the full truth. Alex thought that if she'd met the right man she'd be married already. However, believing that her career caused her singlehood made her feel like she had some control over the situation as opposed to the powerlessness she'd felt lately.
If I really had control, would I have ended up with a jerk like Phillip?
Her chest tightened as she fought back feelings of self-pity. She couldn't allow Nathan to think her life had fallen apart since they had broken up years ago.

“Maybe I haven't been ready to be snatched up,” she said.