The Cost Of Love And Sanity (15 page)

“When do you want to have kids?” Nathan asked.

“When I've found a husband.”

He nodded. “Traditional. That's good.”

“What else would I be?”

Nathan shrugged. “You could be traditional or modern. It doesn't matter to me.”

“Are you traditional?” Alex asked.

He hesitated. “In some ways, yes. In other ways, no. Although I didn't marry my son's mother, I'm trying to teach him traditional values.”

“Hmm. I think many people are.” Alex turned to face him. “That reminds me of this actress who recently conceived her child through artificial insemination. There's this big to-do about it, you know? She went about it unconventionally but, to me, the thing she wanted—a baby or family—was quite traditional.”

“Umm. She must have been pretty determined. I don't know if I would take it that far.”

“No? Well, she said her relationships didn't work out. So she felt like she had to go it alone,” Alex added.

He shook his head. “She may have felt that way but everybody has a bad relationship from time to time. I'm sure she had more options. Nobody has to have a child all on their own like that.”

She crossed her arms.
Another one.
Nobody saw the reasoning behind Roxie's choice. The actress simply felt the need to start thinking strategically before time ran out, which in Roxie's case meant considering all her options.

“What makes that any different than a person who becomes a single parent the natural way?”

“I don't know too many people who are single parents on purpose. It kinda happens that way through various unfortunate circumstances.”

Unfortunate circumstances.
Right then, she couldn't think of anything more unfortunate then living out her life alone simply due to bad relationships. Everyone deserved happiness and many times that happiness came through rewarding relationships. Alex wanted to have a full life with people in it. Though she hated comparing her life to that of a celebrity, it comforted her to know that someone else had taken responsibility for creating their own personal happiness. It helped her feel that there were a variety of choices and roads to contentment for her.

But Alex would have been ecstatic if she didn't have to look any further for her happiness. Her eyes penetrated Nathan, searching for some glimpse of their future together. “Well, let's hope we don't have any more unfortunate circumstances.”

A
lex twirled the phone cord around her index finger while her call center lead searched his report for information. They had a little less than two weeks to get everything together for the job fair. The good news was that they'd signed on seven companies. The bad news was that Alex had some concerns about the call center reps and their method of choosing potential candidates. Although she had given them basic requirements, their recruitment numbers weren't high enough for her. There had to be over twenty thousand people registered with Priority One Recruitment Agency. Why were they only pulling two hundred fifty-eight job seekers?

“Brian, this is what I want you to do. From now until I tell you guys to stop, I want you to send me a compiled list of the candidates they are pulling at the end of every day. I need a daily Excel spreadsheet of the job seekers' names, phone numbers, type of experience, and rather they have a misdemeanor or felony,” Alex instructed.

“Okay. Since the current number isn't what you're looking for, do you want them to hit a certain number by the end of the day?” Brian asked.

“If you would like to set a number for them, that is fine. I'll say we definitely need a higher target. Time is winding down. The fair date is right around the corner. They will have more people on
their lists or the whole call center will have to work overtime because this fair must succeed,” Alex said.

“I understand. I think they are getting caught up on the criminal background. Some are shying away from people who have charges. Do any of the companies have leniency on that issue?”

Alex saw this as a sticky subject. She preferred they have no criminal background because some of the companies they were working with could be a little funny about it. She also understood that no one was perfect and some people—when given the chance— could shine, regardless of their rough past.

“There are a couple that may be a little more open than others. It's the type of thing that has to be taken on a case by case basis. Have them fill their list with people they believe are qualified. Make sure they note any problems with their background. After you send me the first report today, I will come over and meet with you all tomorrow at…” Alex stopped talking to browse through her calendar. “Ten-thirty. This way we can navigate who's a good pick and who's not together. Okay?”

“All right. Sounds good. I'll let them know. Thanks.”

Alex dropped her phone back into its receiver and exhaled. She needed to go through their candidates and make sure they were qualified. She'd made some pretty high promises to PharmScope, as well as the other companies that were now on board. The candidates had to be well screened and ready to work. No excuses.

She clicked on her computer software and attempted to generate a report based on job seekers with ten years sales experience. Maybe she would save the report and compare it to the names the call center reps were submitting as a way to double check their efforts. While she scrutinized one job seeker's credentials, she heard a rapid knock on her office door.

“Come in!” Alex said.

Her door opened and Dan burst through it. He sounded out of breath and appeared eager to share his news. Since they'd come to a consensus about their tasks, he was more cooperative and friendlier to Alex. He was also more comfortable. A month ago, he would have never come to her office uninvited. In all honesty, she wouldn't have let him but lately they were like new people to each other. She appreciated the camaraderie.

“Alex!” He stepped in and closed the door behind him. “You won't believe this.”

“What?”

Dan flopped down in the chair facing her desk. “I was able to get us media coverage for the fair.”

Alex's eyes widened. “Really? How did you manage that?”

“One of my sponsorship contacts knew a reporter at WULX news station. He kindly gave me the number to the reporter. After I talked to him for a few minutes, he agreed to cover the fair. Isn't that great?”

“That's awesome. It could be another draw for the companies. Does he need anything from us?”

“Only mere basic information about the company. I asked the PR department to send him a press kit. So, everything is set to go.” He smiled.

Alex returned his smile. “That's great news.”

“How's everything going on your end?” Dan asked.

“It's moving. The call center reps are going to send me a list of candidates every day and I'm going to meet with them tomorrow morning to make sure they understand what we're looking for,” Alex said.

“Oh. Need any help?”

“No. I'm pretty sure I've got it covered. The hardest part was getting the companies on board. Now that they are signed up things should work out fine.”

“Good.” Dan nodded.

An uncomfortable silence lingered in the room. Alex began to tap her pen in her hand. To the outside person, their unease would appear to come from nowhere but, for Alex, the cause for it was quite apparent. Besides Dan's little outburst about his divorce woes, they'd never had much to say to each other outside of work but this was different. They were actually cordial, which meant they should be able to engage in conversation about their lives, in general—a difficult task for Alex.

She was so used to separating her personal and professional life she didn't know how to approach chit-chatting at work. She really didn't trust anyone with her personal information. Alex had no time for gossip and preferred not to be the subject of it.

In this instance, Alex didn't fear Dan gossiping about her; she really wanted to ask him questions about his life, particularly his child. Since she wanted to have a child sometime in the near future, she wanted to ask him about his experiences and routine. How did he balance a kid and work?
Just start talking Alex.

She cleared her throat. “So, how is everything else?”

“It's going.”

“How's your child?” Alex cringed inside. That didn't sound normal to her.

“She's fine. I talked to her yesterday. She's looking forward to seeing a puppet show with me,” Dan said.

She smiled and leaned forward. “Cute. How old is she?”

“Six going on thirty.”

“Uh oh. Sounds like you have your hands full.” Alex chuckled.

“Oh, yeah. A couple of weeks ago, she told me she wants to be an astronaut and a chef.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Ambitious. Wants it all. My kinda girl.”

He shook his head. “You women are all the same. You always want it all.”

“I resent that.” She eyed Dan. “Is it hard relating to a girl?”

“I'll put it this way. She keeps me on my toes.”

“Did you always want to be a father?”

He shrugged. “I don't know. I didn't give it much thought until after it happened.” Dan cocked his head to the side. “Are you planning to have a kid?”

Aware of all of her questions, she suddenly became self-conscious. Alex wanted it to be a conversation, not an interrogation. She leaned back into her chair and swatted his question away. “No. I think it's great that you have such a close relationship with your daughter.”

Dan nodded but eyed her with a hint of suspicion. “Oh, okay. Well, let me get back to work. Call me if you need anything.

He stood up and exited Alex's office. Like many others, having a child “happened” for Dan. Meanwhile, she hadn't been so lucky.
Maybe that will change now.
She and Nathan seemed to be back on track. Whenever she thought about him, she had a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. She felt good about the direction they were headed. They might have a chance at marriage and kids. Although it had become her habit to avoid placing bets before she saw all the cards, she really wanted to believe that this time would be different because it simply had to be.

O
n a lazy Saturday afternoon, Alex vacuumed her living room and dining room. She didn't feel like it but it was time to do so. Amidst the loud noise of the vacuum, she used that time to think. Alex told herself she would run over the tasks she needed to complete for the job fair but her mind ended up wondering about Nathan.

It hadn't been that long since they'd gotten back together but she wondered if he'd thought about marriage. She remembered considering it the first time they dated but, after the party fiasco, she obviously changed her mind. Nathan had so many qualities that appealed to her. Qualities that made her feel safe and loved. She hated to admit it but she hadn't found anyone else that made her feel that way.

Alex imagined being married to him. Life would be easier. She'd have a man around the house to help with things. That would make her mother happy. She would also be done with going on date after date only to find that the man was rude, a deadbeat or chauvinistic. Or even more she'd have no chemistry with him. That was the hardest for her. With Nathan, she'd have the emotional support and compatibility she couldn't seem to find anywhere else.

The doorbell rang and interrupted her thoughts. Alex shut off the vacuum. When she approached the door and peered through her peephole, she saw Nathan. She smiled wide.

“Hey,” Alex said, when she opened the door.

“Hey.” Nathan stepped into her foyer and gave her a hug and a kiss.

Alex could feel heat rush to her face. She briefly dropped her head for fear that he could see or feel it.

“I wanna take you somewhere,” Nathan said.

“Where?”

“It's a surprise,” Nathan said.

Alex looked down at her sweatpants and T-shirt. “How will I know what to wear?”

After a short pause, Nathan said, “Dress comfortably. Not this comfortably.”

She sucked her teeth. Nathan laughed.

“You're not gonna do something crazy like take me hiking, are you?”

He laughed. “No, but trust me.”

“Okay.”

They walked down the hall. Nathan went into her living room and flipped the television to ESPN. Alex proceeded upstairs to find something to wear. She lucked out with a green sleeveless, V-neck romper. She topped it off with silver sandals and a green bracelet. After swooping her hair into an updo, she trotted back downstairs to find Nathan engrossed in the day's sports scores.

“Are you ready?” Alex asked standing beside him.

Nathan did a double-take. “You look great. Perfect.” He rubbed her leg. “Can I finish watching this one part right here? It'll only be three minutes.”

Alex shrugged and sat down on the couch adjacent to him. Three minutes turned into fifteen minutes. Every update led to another one. Finally, she stood up.

“Either we are going or I'm going to go back upstairs and change back into my sweatpants,” Alex said, placing her hand on her hip.

His eyes widened. “Okay, okay.” He reached for the remote and cut the television off. Alex grabbed a sweater and set her alarm.

Once they were in the car, Nathan pulled on his sunglasses. They pulled out of her driveway and rode down the street. “So, where did you say we were going again?” Alex asked.

“I told you, it's a surprise,” Nathan said.

“Can't I get a hint?”

“Look behind you.”

She glanced at the backseat and saw a blanket, some champagne and a basket. She smiled.

“A picnic,” she said. “That still doesn't tell me where.”

He looked at her over his sunglasses.