The Do Over (39 page)

"Hey, Dani's coming to get me. Do you need a ride?" Liam asked.

Fuck
.
Why does he have to be such a decent guy?

"Nah, that's okay. Madison's on her way," I said. I got up to go to the bathroom and hide out until Madison arrived.

"Oh yeah, about those yoga classes. Dani would really love that. See? This'll win me points because I know her and I know what she likes."

When Liam held out his hand for the certificates, I actually felt sorry for him.

"Take this for whatever it's worth. Your
friend
is more than a friend
.
You don't go up against your brother over a chick unless she's under your skin, and if you aren't sleeping with her, then you've got it bad."

"It's not like that. We're really just friends. Sure, I care about her, but no, I hate her most of the time," I said.

I texted Maddy to see when she'd be here to pick me up. He was wrong. He must sense that something was up, and he was just trying to throw me off Daniela's trail.

"Just make sure the one you're chasing is worth letting this one go." He patted me on the shoulder before he made his way out.

Daniela was worth everything, and Madison was just my friend. She always would be, so I wouldn't be giving up anything.

When the coast was clear, I came back out and had another drink. It had been a long time since I was buzzed and couldn't remember when I'd been drunk. I sat in the back and waited, and waited, and waited some more. Forty-five minutes later, Madison walked in, turning heads. I watched the show from my table. There was a reason why she could get fucked by just about anyone she wanted. Madison wasn't just gorgeous. She looked fucking lickable. She strutted over to me with her brow raised in contempt. She was annoyed.

"Marin," she said in a sultry voice, leaning into my face. "You owe me big time."

I couldn't help loving when she did sexy-badass shit like that.

Wearing a huge smile on my face, I followed behind her with my hands on her hips. "Did I interrupt something?" I'd almost gotten into a fight over her damn pussy, so I hoped I'd ruined her booty call.

She turned, hissing at me. "Rick, I told you to cut back on your alcohol. I didn't tell you to get wasted."

When she pushed open the door, the cool night air sobered me just a tiny bit.

"You need to stop being a fucking cockblocker. I'm more upset about that because I'm horny, and now, I have to rely on my goddamn vibrator."

I pulled her in close to me and wrapped my arms around her waist. My body pressed into hers as she leaned into mine. I nuzzled my face in her neck.
Damn.
She always smelled so fucking good.

I breathed warmly into her ear. "Do you know how hot you are when you get pissed off at me?"

I ran my lips over her neck. She tasted as good as I'd imagined. She tilted her head to the side, wanting more.

"Tonight, when you're fucking your vibrator, call me. I want to hear you come." I smacked her ass and got in the car.

She settled into the driver's seat. "You're an asshole," she said, her eyes shooting daggers at me.

I reached for her hand, brought it up to my mouth, and grazed it with my lips. "Thank you, Maddy. You're my best friend. I owe you big time. Whatever you want, it's yours."

I leaned my head back on the headrest, and then I napped until she pulled up to my apartment. She woke me up, pushed me out of the car without a good-bye, and then watched me walk into my building.

I knew I was going to have one fucking hangover tomorrow.

The twinkling lights on the Christmas tree glowed in the darkened living room. The scent of the balsam fir tree filled the air. The holidays were fast upon us, and before I knew it, Christmas was only a couple of days away.

I curled up under a blanket with a cup of hot tea and my Kindle. I'd been going to a yoga class where I'd met my new friend, Madison. She happened to be a health guru and my latest project. She'd been helping me eliminate my diet soda consumption, thus the cup of tea instead of my preferred twenty-ounce bottle of diet soda, and I was trying to crack her outer shell. She was much more successful than I was.

I hadn't done yoga in the longest time, and I missed it. It was weird how Rick and I'd just talked about it, and then Liam had come home with a gift certificate for a class. I took it as a sign to get back into balance. The timing was actually great. With Candace off in Jacksonville and Macy on probation, I needed someone to bond with. Liam was my best friend, and I did bring my problems to him, maybe a little too often. He was so good and patient with me, but he was a man. I needed someone to listen to me vent. I needed someone who could work through my issues with me, as nonsensical as some of them were, without telling me how to fix them. Part of the process was the journey, not always the destination. Liam didn't understand that, and I was perfectly content having him as my man and not my girlfriend.

Madison was great. She was a combination of Macy's sluttyness with a little bit of Candace's badass attitude without the prim and proper part. I could live with that. The best part was that she wasn't associated with my past or my present, so I could talk to her without worrying that she would judge me. After all, I quickly learned that she would be the last person to throw a stone.

Madison and I became close pals. After yoga, we started talking about health and fitness. The next thing I knew, we were throwing back shots of wheatgrass with mango-juice chasers at the smoothie store across the street. I cringed at the memory of the first shot.

I eyed the shot glass filled with the swamp green liquid suspiciously. I glanced over at Madison as she raised her glass and brought it up to her mouth. I wasn't one to back down from a challenge. Somehow, this felt like an initiation of some sort.

I picked up my shot glass and downed the wheatgrass. My face puckered at the taste. "That was the most disgusting thing I've ever consumed in my life. Gross."

"You get used to it." Madison drank a double shot and then slammed the glass on the counter. "If you start eating clean and cut out all the processed junk out of your diet, you'll see a considerable difference. After a while, you'll start craving wheatgrass juice."

"I'm not sure about that. Wheatgrass tastes like ass. Right now, my body's craving an ice-cold diet soda." I shrugged my shoulders and laughed. "But this yoga class is perfect. I can do it before I go to work, especially since Liam's usually up and out by this time."

Madison ordered us green smoothies. She told me to trust her, and I had no reason not to. We grabbed a small table by the window.

As we raised our glasses, she toasted, "To good health."

The green concoction was pretty good.

She sipped on her smoothie. "So, who's Liam?"

I put my drink down and broke into a wide smile. "Liam is everything." Warmth filled me, and my cheeks blushed softly. "You might think I'm a nut. It's nothing personal, but you don't strike me as the romantic type. I am though. I read romance novels, too. I love them, but it drives my friends crazy." With a giddy shimmy, I pulled out my phone to show her my Liam album. "This is the man who makes my heart skip a beat." I almost went into a more graphic expression taken from my vast literary arsenal to explain the feelings that Liam elicited from me. Somehow, I didn't think she would appreciate the burning loins and hitched breaths descriptions, so I kept it clean.

I handed her my phone, and she flipped through the pictures. I beamed. I was in love, and part of being in love was to annoy the crap out of other people. Although her lips curved into a soft smile, her eyes were downcast. I knew that expression. I'd worn it for too long after my own heartbreak. It was difficult looking at someone else so in love. I assumed her heart was shattered.

She handed the phone back to me. "The two of you look very happy. Good for you."

After that day, I'd started going to yoga three times a week. After the second week, Madison and I had gotten into the routine of throwing back wheatgrass shots after yoga. We basically talked about health and nutrition. All attempts to discuss her personal life were shot down. It became my mission to help her. If nothing else, she clearly needed a friend.

Now, I sipped on the organic chai tea that Madison had introduced me to. It hit the spot, and I barely missed my diet soda. I giggled, remembering how I had thrown Françoise a curveball when I'd declined the diet soda he had waiting for me at Van Dyke's. I'd asked him to replace it with a cup of hot water and a selection of teas.

I opened my Kindle to read, but the lights on the Christmas tree were distracting me. While Liam was working tonight, I sat on his couch in his T-shirt under his blanket. The more I loved him, the more the risks from his job unnerved me. I stayed here to feel close to him and to somehow will him to stay safe. He loved having me in his bed, and he took great pleasure in showing me just how much. I took over half his closet, most of his bathroom, and a couple of drawers. I barely slept in my townhouse, except on Thursday nights when he played basketball. Technically, I hadn't moved in, but this felt like home to me.

The lights caught on one of the ornaments, casting an image on the wall. It wasn't anything specific, just a play on lights and glass, but it reminded me of something Madison had said.

We just finished an intense yoga class, so we were crossing the street to the juice bar for our traditional after-class drinks. Madison was an interesting person. She had never brought up my relationship again. I felt bad for her. She lived behind a huge wall. She was closed off and in desperate need of the sisterhood.

I'd talked to Liam about it. He'd told me not to go near that subject with a ten-foot pole. He'd said that they had to figure things out on their own. Of course, that had been all the encouragement I'd needed.

After throwing back our shots, we sipped on our green smoothies.

"Please don't ask me to give you my food journal. I've been eating clean and doing my exercise and yoga." I laughed. "Geez, I sound like Rick." When that slipped out, I momentarily froze.

Madison's eyes shot up from her drink. "Rick?" she asked. "Have you been holding out on me?"

"Do you believe people can change?"

I hadn't planned on it, but this gave me an opportunity to talk about something personal with her. Maybe I could find out about that tower she hid behind and learn something about the he in the "they" Liam had referred to.

"I think people can evolve. If they mature through the process, they're open to becoming a better person, but at the end of the day, we are who we are. Why do you ask?" She started playing with her hands, looking at her nails, as she laced and unlaced her fingers.

"Tit for tat." My eyes danced with amusement. "I told you about Liam and dropped Rick's name." I leaned forward, resting my chin on my hands. "Now, it's your turn."

"My turn for what? I don't do the girlfriend-sharing thing, but because I like you, I'll give you this much. I don't do the boyfriend thing either, so there's nothing to tell. You can tell me about Rick if you want to or not." Her expression was blank, and her wall was sky high. "It makes no difference to me…unless there's trouble in paradise. Then, I might be willing to throw you a bone." Madison rested in her chair, seeming up for the challenge.

I tilted my head to the side. "Tit for tat, dear. You told me nothing. It's your turn."

Her gaze was steady, and her face was devoid of emotion. "Love is an illusion. We see what we want to see until the reflection changes." She subtly shrugged her shoulders. "At least, that's been my experience. It's fragile like a house of cards. Anything can knock it down, and then all you have is a mess. I'd rather control my environment. Human contact is essential. Sex is a wonderful thing, so I have it on my terms. No strings, no attachments, and no illusions." The corner of her mouth pulled up into a smile. "Who's Rick?" Madison asked, her tone cool and smooth.

I sat back in my chair. I had wanted to welcome her into the sisterhood. Instead, this felt like a challenge and a battle of wills. There was something more at stake, and I was going to find out what it was. "Rick's my ex."

We stared each other down in an almost adversarial way.

"I loved him, but he broke my heart. I didn't let anyone in until I met Liam, and then we fell in love. Love is real. It conquers all and lasts a lifetime." I sat up. "Who is he?"

"There is no he," she said impassively.

I raised my eyebrow in suspicion.

"Oh, my cockblocker?"

"Cockblocker? This should be very interesting." I smiled, nodding.

Now, we were getting somewhere. I was right about one thing. Madison was not a romantic. Her views on love and her reference to the man that was clearly under her skin was just hardened and bitter.

"He's just a temporary inconvenience. He's a project that's coming to an end, which is a good thing since I haven't had sex in almost a month." She tilted her head to the side. "Are you in love with Rick?"