The Embers Of My Heart (14 page)

"What will he do about it?"

"Disciplinary action. Perhaps reassignment or a stern conversation will be all that's necessary. Otherwise, we may be forced to release her from her Establishment contract."

A chill ran down my spine. No matter what I felt about Nikki right now, I didn't want to see her future destroyed. Release, as Absynthe put it, would probably permanently cut her off from her powers and implant a host of false memories to let her pass for normal. That would be the nicest way to do it. Knowing how Alistair worked, he might find it easier to make her vanish. "Doesn't sound good. I hope she doesn't act like that in front of him."

"She won't enjoy that experience."

I sighed. "Here's to vacations and cooling off periods."

"No vacation for you, young man." Absynthe cracked a smile. "We've got to make up for some lost time."

Chapter Nine

The final afternoon of spring break came faster than I thought it would. I limped back to the dorm after a particularly inventive training session with Absynthe which had almost but not quite broken my legs. It reminded me of some of Shade's more inventive methods. My door was cracked open, which I found strange. It was either wide open, or closed and locked. I walked in and peeked around the corner to see if there was an intruder or if it was just one of my roommates having returned.

Drew turned as I peeked. "Kev! What up, man! How'd your break go?"

"Drew, what did you do to yourself?" He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. It was still brushed up in front, but it was both significantly longer and greener than it had been the last time I saw him.

"Partied with some of the guys I knew in high school," he said. "We had a few drinks and it sounded good at the time. I'm actually digging it. It doesn't look that bad, right?"

"It doesn't look bad," I agreed. It didn't look good either, but he didn't need to know that.

The toilet flushed. Max must have gotten back at the same time. "I'm going to keep it like this for a while," Drew said over the sound of rushing water. "It's distinctive and shit. I like standing out a little more."

"Jess is going to make so much fun of you."

"I can live with that."

"Has Lisa seen it yet?" The toilet flushed again.

"Not yet. That's the test, man. If she doesn't like it, I might have to shave it all down. Or color it again."

"Maybe she'll dye her hair to match," I said.

"Dude. No. She's so proud of her hair, she'd never, ever do something like that." The toilet flushed yet again and Drew sighed. "I know what he's trying to do but I wish he'd be less dramatic about it."

"I'm sorry, I think I missed something about Max being in the bathroom, and I don't know if I want to know."

"He'll tell you as soon as he comes out. He's going to be telling everyone all month."

Hundreds of toilet humor jokes ran through my head. "So how'd your break go?"

"Boring as shit, aside from the party I mentioned. Only people around were the kids who stayed local and most of them are busy getting knocked up or doing the knocking. Most of my friends got the hell out of there and never looked back. Small towns are not the place to be. At least I got to borrow the car and go places."

The toilet flushed for the fourth time and I turned toward the bathroom. "Are you all right in there?"

"Perfectly fine," Max called back.

"Anything you want to admit or confess to?"

"Yes, I confess, I am in fact a perfect man."

I turned back to Drew. "Moving on. Yeah, heading home on a break really sucks. Not much to do, especially with all my friends here now."

"Bingo. I got along well enough with everyone, but there's just this gap between us now." He spread his hands wide. "I guess you know what I mean more than I do, right?"

I chuckled. "You could say that."

The bathroom door finally opened and Max stalked out. "Finally done with that shit."

"Too much information."

"Not literally," he said, flinging something at me. I caught it, an empty pack of cigarettes. "Those all just went down the toilet. I'm quitting."

I flicked the empty pack toward the room's garbage can. "I have to say, Max, that's awesome."

"As much fun as I might make of you, I'm totally on your side for this," Drew added.

Max grinned and patted his chest. "I'm tired of having shitty lungs, no energy, and all that other bullshit. It's time to get a little healthier."

I looked over to Drew. "Sounds like Jess wants him to quit."

"Oh shit, that was their bet!" Drew exclaimed. "Got to be it! She wanted him to quit no matter what. You've seen how much she bitches about how kissing a smoker is like kissing an ashtray."

"She must have carried through on her end," I said. "So now he's carrying through on hers."

"Are you two quite finished?" Max asked.

"Hold on," Drew said. "Did we ever figure out what her bet was?"

"I was assuming it was something ridiculously kinky," I said. Aside from a small twitch of his eyebrows, Max's expression was frozen. "I mean, she was being so defensive about it, it must have been terrible for her. And we both know what Max is like. I'm surprised she carried through."

"He's disgustingly perverted," Drew agreed. "So he totally asked her to do something embarrassing. Max, you're a terrible person, what's wrong with you, man?"

"Again, are you two quite finished?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. Are we, Drew?"

"I'm running out of steam," he said.

"Yeah, we're done."

"Good. Incidentally, fuck you both very much. But yes, Jess wants me to quit. Is that such a bad reason?"

I shook my head. "Not at all, man. It's a great reason. You're serious about her, aren't you?"

"Sure, if you say so."

Drew laughed. "Lisa tells me things, you know."

"I really don't want to know."

"You sure?"

Max paused, reached for his pocket, then froze. "Shit. This is going to take some getting used to. I can't leave the room dramatically whenever I want to now."

"You mean you can't run away," I said.

"Oh shut up. I'm going to walk away now." Max tossed his head. "At least I didn't dye my hair green because I wanted to look like a Muppet."

"Are you saying I look like Kermit?" Drew asked. "Because that's kind of a compliment. He's awesome."

"Does that make Lisa-"

"Don't finish that thought," Drew said. "Just don't. I'm about to go see her, I don't need that on my mind."

"I'm going to head outside and wonder about what I'm doing with my life," Max said. His eyes met mine and he jerked his head a little.

"It's nice outside. I'll get some air with you, now that you're not polluting it."

We locked the room and left. Max and I walked outside in silence. With the beginning of May, the temperature rose, the snow melted, and spring proceeded according to nature's master plan. Max flopped down on a bench and let his head roll back. "I really feel like shit."

I sat with him. "Withdrawal already?"

"Nah. Maybe. Yes and no."

"That's convincing."

"I had my last one this morning. It's only been a few hours, so I don't think withdrawal is kicking in yet. I just feel like shit."

"Why?" He sounded exhausted and unsure, not qualities I associated with him.

"I got a scare from the doctor over the break."

"You actually go to the doctor?"

He grunted. "Look, I'm not a complete idiot, Kev. I caught a cold right when I got home. Woke up the first day with a sore throat. Went to my chest two days later. Coughing up nasty shit for three weeks, hardly sleeping, could barely talk without doubling over, you're damn right I went to the doctor."

"What did they say?"

"He listened to my lungs and asked me if I smoked. Told him yeah, pack a day or so. He put the stethoscope away and he didn't bitch at me about it, he just looks me in the eye and tells me he's going to schedule an x-ray. I asked him why. He said better safe than sorry."

"Did you go?"

"Fuck yes I went. They didn't find anything, so he put me on an antibiotic to clear up any infection and it seems to have worked. He recommended that I get a checkup every year at this point."

"You're way too young for yearly visits."

"No shit!" He sat up and put his face in his hands. "So between that and Jess's endless bitching, I said, I need to stop being a fucking idiot and quit. I don't feel like developing cancer at this age. Or ever, to be honest. Why was I ever such an idiot, Kev?"

"Beats me," I said. "I don't know why you started in the first place."

"Because I'm an idiot."

"Well, that much was obvious."

"I wanted to rebel against my parents and all that shit. I mean, you know all that."

"Sure." Max leaned back again and stared up at the sky. "You want me to help keep you on track?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'd appreciate that." He paused and looked over at me. "Though if you have anything else you can do, that'd be even better. I'm not a strong man."

"You are pretty scrawny," I agreed. He glared at me. "It's not in my toolkit, but I might be able to figure something out." Helping him study and retain information was easy in comparison to this request. Shade had taught how to do it for myself, and applying that to someone else was a matter of experimentation. This was probably a similar level of biological manipulation. The difference being that I lacked familiarity with the chemicals and neurotransmitters I'd be messing with this time. Absynthe would know, but she wouldn't help me. Asking her would be a red flag. Turning to Nikki did not appeal to me. That would be a tense conversation.

"I'd appreciate anything you can do," he said. "Seriously. I could use a hand."

"I think your withdrawal symptoms are kicking in now."

"Shit. Kev, I don't know what I'm going to do. Why did I decide to go cold turkey?"

"Why don't you head down to the union and see if they have patches or something?" I suggested. "Or gum? They've got to have something to help you taper off."

He snapped his fingers. "Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I don't want to use them, but have something on hand, just in case, right? Better than buying a pack."

"You want me to go with you?"

"No." He stood up. "I want you to trust me."

I hesitated. He could get unbearably touchy. When he was in this sort of mood, I knew he was going to hold to it, and he'd be offended if I questioned him. "Trust, but verify," I said. "I won't say shit, but I'll be watching. Fair?"

"Fair." He rolled his shoulders and walked toward the street.

I watched him walk away and hoped that he'd hold strong. When I headed back inside, the law of unintended coincidences dictated I run into Jess immediately. At the bottom of the stairwell leading up to our floor, our eyes met and she gave me a smile that could also have doubled as a snarl. "Nice to see your ugly face again."

"You too. Have a good month off?" I asked as we headed up the stairs.

"Max didn't fucking call me. I talked to him twice over the break for maybe a couple of minutes each time. I'm about to go kick him in the throat."

Her expression had morphed into a full on snarl. "He didn't tell you?"

"Are you fucking serious?" She stopped at the top of the stairs and put her hands on her hips. "He didn't tell me shit. I haven't talked to him. That's what I just said. Is he back? Hiding in your room like the goddamn coward he is?"

"So he didn't tell you."

"What. What didn't he tell me."

"I don't want to betray his confidence."

Jess grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall toward her room. I considered protesting. When we reached her room, she flung the door open and pulled me inside. Lisa and Drew were sitting on her bed, still clothed but limbs tangled, both looking a little flushed. "Out," Jess ordered.

"But-"

"You didn't put a goddamn sock on the door. Out. Go use his room. This one and I are going to have a nice short conversation, just a minute or two. That's plenty of time for you, right Drew?"

"Zing?" he said, but untangled himself and pulled Lisa up. "It's cool. You two have fun now, cause we sure will."

"Just get out," Jess said. The couple left and she locked the door behind them.

"You don't want to put a sock on the door?" I asked.

"Don't push it," she snapped. "You should be so lucky."

She was certainly cute, and if we were both single, I'd consider it. She tossed her head and her hair shone briefly in the light. I pushed those thoughts away and focused back on the conversation. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Max," she hissed. "You just dropped a ton of hints that some serious shit is going down. I want to know. Now."

"Come on, you know I can't just-"

"Kev. Please, knock off the noble defender act." She pointed at her bed. "Sit down. Tell me what's up. I've been worried as fuck about him. He wouldn't pick up his phone for the past two weeks, wouldn't video call me, wouldn't chat, wouldn't do shit. We texted a bit, sure, but he never answered my questions about why he wouldn't talk to me. What happened? He's turning distant and it's scaring the shit out of me."

I leaned back on her bed and sighed. "It's nowhere as bad as you think it is."

"So tell me!" Her tone turned pleading. "Kev, come on, don't do this to me!"

"All right, relax," I said. "He's quitting."

"Quitting what? School? Our relationship?"

"Smoking."

I had never seen Jess's face change colors so quickly. "Don't fuck with me."

"I'm not fucking with you. He's giving it up. Done. Finished. He flushed his last pack no more than fifteen or twenty minutes ago. He's quitting, Jess."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

Her expression shifted back to a snarl. "He better not be doing it because of me."

"That doesn't sound like you," I said. "Don't you want him to quit? Wasn't that your bet?"

"I want him to get smart and quit. I don't want him to quit because I give him shit for it."

I shook my head. "Did you just hear the words that came out of your mouth? They make no sense at all."