The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (50 page)

We don't know why this is, but we've found that a number of gay and lesbian weddings are held at sea. (Maybe it's because we don't feel a part of the mainstream or the mainland.) In 1991, Thomas and Michael held their Los Angeles union ceremony on a boat in international waters to symbolize that at that time, same-sex marriage was not recognized legally in any state. Their invitations were printed on art-deco steamship posters carrying the words “Recognized by No Nation, Married in International Waters.”

A wedding on the water offers you a number of options, from barges to riverboats. A few gentle warnings about steering this course: first of all, realize that there's no leaving the party early, so you'd better make sure that everyone is having a damn good time—and unless you're just cruising around the marina, rough seas can potentially put quite a damper on the entire affair. (And traditionally, champagne and Dramamine do not mix well.)

Then there's a full-fledged cruise—you know, the ones that sail the Caribbean or take you down the coast of Mexico? Several companies have cruises exclusively for women or exclusively for men, and they all offer wedding ceremonies as part of the amenities included in the price of your ticket. The publicity director of Olivia Cruises told us that on every one of their sailings, the ship's captain performs two or three weddings. They provide cake and champagne, flowers, and certificates.

Lambda's Marriage Resolution

“Because:

Marriage is a basic human right and an individual personal choice.

Resolved:

The State should not interfere with same-gendered couples who choose to marry and share fully and equally in the rights, responsibilities, and commitment of civil marriage.”

Who has supported this resolution? Signers include everyone from the usual suspects (Martina Navratilova, RuPaul, Madonna) to the not exactly surprising (Kathy Najimy, Gloria Steinem, Whoopi Goldberg, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen) to the “Gee, I had no idea they were that liberal” (Coretta Scott King).

Is the ambience of this location what you had in mind for your wedding? Is it so formal that you'll be uncomfortable, or is it just a little too loose? Make sure you visit the site at the time of day you're planning on having the wedding.

Is this the actual room where the event will be held? Don't be fooled by the phrase “Your room looks just like this one,” because each space will have small peculiarities that make it unique.

How many guests will be drinking, schmoozing, dining, and dancing in this space? What is the maximum number allowed by law, seated and unseated? Will it seem like the room is empty, or will it be so crowded that the guests won't be able to lift their glasses for the toast?

How are the auxiliary facilities such as kitchens, bars, and bathrooms?

Do you have access to adjacent spaces such as foyers, anterooms, and gardens?

How will the space handle the flow of the event? If both ceremony and reception are to be held in the same space, can it handle both?

Will there be anyone else using that particular space on the same day? Will there
be any other weddings in the building at the same time? Are there any provisions for privacy?

What about access for those with disabilities?

Is there a place for you to primp before the ceremony? A changing room for you to use before you take off for your honeymoon?

Can you decorate any way you want?